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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Might have a burger. Or summat else.
What might you have?

Alt: who likes petunias? I keep getting special offers for petunias. I don't even live in the vicarage of Buckinghamshire's Prettiest Village 1989 ... why would I want any petunias?
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 12:36, 106 replies, latest was 4 years ago)
I was "working" at the edible garden show yesterday in Ally Pally
Hippies fucking everywhere, although I did quite enjoy the number of proper old school Afro Caribbean allotment people who didn't take any shit.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 12:42, Reply)
so in answer to your question, I don't care about petunias.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 12:43, Reply)
bit racist

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 12:56, Reply)
I used to work there as a kid, from about the ages of 7 to 14; my Dad had the skating shop there.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:25, Reply)
It's the first time I've ever been, nice view from the terraces.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:26, Reply)
Deffo, it's one of the best views of London, next to Hampstead Heath.
When I get the train into Central, it goes past Ally Pally and it looks amazing purched up on the hill like that. It also goes past the Arsenal stadium which looks impressive.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:30, Reply)
I didn't see the Arsenal stadium, as I got the bus from Finsbury park.
But yeah it's a nice part of london that, I would quite like to go for a drink at that bar on the terraces on a sunny afternoon.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:41, Reply)
Sweet, let me know maybe in mid-spring (and onwards) and i'll be up for that if you're up for it.
Depending on your timing, instead of the bus, both the Heartford North and Welling Garden City overground trains go from Finsbury Park to Alley Palley - but I think (not 100% sure), you'd then have to trek it up the hill, which would be quite shlap; if that's the case, the bus would be better.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:45, Reply)
Might have a wee.
Dunno if I can be bothered to move just yet though.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 12:47, Reply)
Unias aren't meant to be domesticated anyway

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 12:47, Reply)
I have now got this after googling what the fuck Unias are.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 12:52, Reply)
you fucking idiot

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 12:56, Reply)
lol
thought you'd know anyway, given it's a commune....
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 12:59, Reply)
I had a roast chicken sandwich.
I just read this, www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/mar/23/im-aroused-by-my-female-colleagues

When was the last time any of you had a "visual disturbance"
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 12:56, Reply)
Worst porn story ever

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:01, Reply)
Someone hasn't read Gonz's erotic collection.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:05, Reply)
or your pizza/fat chick shenanigans

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:12, Reply)
your wife is french.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:15, Reply)
she totally is

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:39, Reply)
Gutted

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:40, Reply)
I'm sure* you'll find somebody some day
* well ... 20 or 30% sure
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:45, Reply)
I'd rather die alone than be a race traitor.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:59, Reply)
Erotic Gonz, you say?
b3ta.com/talk/6879373
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:32, Reply)
Jesus.
Please tell me you don't have that bookmarked
(I helped save b3ta! Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:38, Reply)
come on ... we've ALL got that bookmarked

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:39, Reply)
You do know there is a search facility on this site, don't you?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:39, Reply)
So what would you search for to find THAT?

(I helped save b3ta! Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:43, Reply)
"most erotic thing on the internet"

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:44, Reply)
All that got me was this
b3ta.com/talk/5884347
(I helped save b3ta! Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:46, Reply)
Hang on, there's more!
b3ta.com/talk/7164366
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:53, Reply)

b3ta.com/search/talk?q=gonzo+fanfic
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:45, Reply)
He had it printed out and laminated. You know why.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:40, Reply)
^just aquaplaned off the chair

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:40, Reply)
I don't have any attractive female colleagues, so if some hot scientist totty came onto me at work I'd probably run off for a wank in the bogs and all.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:07, Reply)
*Shambles' /ac about wanking in the smell of colleagues' effluence goes here*

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:08, Reply)
76% of my internet posts are autocomplete
/ac
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:09, Reply)
One of my mates told me he's only got boxers on under his cuvvies, is he trying it on?

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:33, Reply)
Deffo.
You're in there, no question.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:33, Reply)
Is this the guardian equivalent of dear derdrie?
It's a bit shit isn't it. There's not even any racy comics.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:30, Reply)
Chicken and broccoli tortellini, most likely
Alt: I've heard petunias are this season's in accessory for pizza ovens.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 12:59, Reply)
haha "broccoli" ... like that's a real food

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:03, Reply)
I think it's some sort of barbecue seasoning.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:15, Reply)
Sounds like some sort of bacteria

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:24, Reply)
L. broccolius foodwrongii?

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:32, Reply)
that's the one
attacks things with a fork iirc
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:36, Reply)
A disappointing sandwich, probably.
Alt: I think a front garden floral display would simply be bait to the pikey kids on your sink estate. Stick with the overgrown discarded washing machine and piles of bricks to avoid unwanted attention.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:07, Reply)
what?

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:10, Reply)
A disappointing sandwich, probably.
Alt: I think a front garden floral display would simply be bait to the pikey kids on your sink estate. Stick with the overgrown discarded washing machine and piles of bricks to avoid unwanted attention.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:12, Reply)
you've got petunias hanging outside your house like a country "gastro" pub, haven't you?

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:41, Reply)
I think he means a disappointing sammich

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:14, Reply)
his face is a disappointing sammich

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:40, Reply)
I need to stock up on crisps and biscuits, so who knows what delights await in Poundstretcher?
I generally can't be bothered with gardening, so people give me plants, I put them in the ground and it's up to them whether or not they survive. I do fancy putting in a fire pit, but there's no guarantee that children/grandparents would fall over/into it.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:15, Reply)
You could put a sign on the fire pit saying "don't fall in the fire pit"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:18, Reply)
Surely it would burn down?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:22, Reply)
I like those anchovie filled olives

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:25, Reply)
Mmm, salty.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:37, Reply)
I'm not really hungry today, but i'm noshing on some garlic'n'cheese breadstick things

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:26, Reply)
I'm also addicted to S.Pellegrino

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:26, Reply)
Not even in my top three Man City managers.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:28, Reply)
Woah-a-oh

(I helped save b3ta! Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:35, Reply)
it's water, double P
you're only addicted to it in the sense that you're a heavily water-dependent organism
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:43, Reply)
I think it's 50% that it's fizzy water and I have so much solphadeen that i've gotten a taste for it.
And 50% that it comes in a poncy bottle.

It ain't expensive though.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:47, Reply)
very canny bit of marketing putting pointless bits of paper on their bottles and cans so that dimwits think it's posh
I'm more of a Badoit man. At least it's not just carbonated tap water.
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:00, Reply)
Peckham Springs and an alkaseltza
springs to mind.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:35, Reply)
what was the coke one that everybody got wound up about even though it was exactly the same as all the other shit mineral water?
edit: Dasani
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:38, Reply)
Didn't it get pulled after it turned out to be less safe than tap water?
Edit: "bottled spunk"
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:53, Reply)
I think it got pulled because of bad publicity
Even though it was exactly the same fizzy tap water as most other brands

Cos Coca Cola are EVIL like McDonalds and Nestlé and that
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:59, Reply)
Bottled water is, in general, less safe than tap water.

RETARD TAX.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 15:05, Reply)
Capitalist conspiracy to deprive us of public drinking fountains.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 15:19, Reply)
if people like it, let them get on with it
it's their money innit.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 15:22, Reply)
^^Bottled water-drinking retard^^

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 23 Mar 2015, 16:11, Reply)
i don't like fizzy water, but i try to keep some SP in for guests
when i first moved in, i was woken in the middle of the night by what sounded like gunshot.

turns out that SP bottles will go BANG in the middle of the night if you have your fridge on too cold...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:45, Reply)
SP

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:46, Reply)
I didn't realise I liked fizzy water until I got it by accident, thought I hated it but nuh-uh.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:47, Reply)
The same thing happened to me too
except with anal.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:50, Reply)
I've got a cheese and chilli chutney sandwich than I might chuck in a toaster bag for some melty spicy goodness
And a packet of fruitellas

Alt: I don't know what they look like. Any potplants I've ever had have evolved into "aridus watelandus avec le stray fagbutt".
(I helped save b3ta! Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:35, Reply)
peanut butter smeared on a playing card

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:43, Reply)
Posh

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:49, Reply)
Sounds ace

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:53, Reply)
Are you feeling flush?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 13:59, Reply)
that's the way I like it, baby

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:00, Reply)
nice one my Sun-Pat yourself on the back

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:03, Reply)
Ok, gonna have that wee now.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:08, Reply)
remember to mop your foof after

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:20, Reply)
I'm just going to let it dry in the sun

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:21, Reply)
You may find the Sporting Life more absorbent

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:24, Reply)
Everyone should watch the Trailer for the new Adam Sandler movie...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAHprLW48no

10/10 stars best film ever.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:14, Reply)
not clicking that it might be the trailer for the new Adam Sandler film

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:34, Reply)
It's not, it's gay scat.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:35, Reply)
Adam Sandler is really hit-or-miss.... Big Daddy and Reign Over Me are fantastic...
... and I used to like him playing the 'retard' as a kid but these days I hate it.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:36, Reply)
I think The Wedding Singer is the only film where I haven't wanted to kick his teeth out

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:37, Reply)
Same here, but I was too busy wanking over Drew Barrymore while the DVD was paused.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 15:08, Reply)
Check out Reign Over Me, it's a really powerful film to me, you'll probably see why if you see it.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 15:25, Reply)
Am I the only one who doesn't know who Adam Sandler is?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:38, Reply)
he knows who you are

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:38, Reply)
It is a poorly kept secret.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:42, Reply)
No, I'm sure there are other people who are mentally challenged.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:39, Reply)
Is that how they diagnose learning difficulties now?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:42, Reply)
you stupid fucking cunt

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 16 Jan 2020, 9:31, Reply)
The best film since Chuck & Larry.
Sandler and James are a comedy dream team.

Said no one ever.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 14:41, Reply)
I still dont understand how giant Pac Man/Donkey Kong gets involved.
just because aliens see our 80's games as a threat of war.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 15:08, Reply)
I might have a hangover.
alt. Is that her who sang Downtown?
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 15:08, Reply)
Might have testicular cancer
anyone want to come and feel my lump?

Alt: I divide plants into "food" "flowers" "bushes" "trees" "probably weeds" and "definitely weeds". Petunias is way more detail than I want to go into.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 15:08, Reply)
That's what girlfriends are for.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 15:09, Reply)
Go get it touched up by your disinterested GP.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 15:17, Reply)
DBT could do a free prostate and bollock exam with every fourth pint.
Sod that franchising malarky.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 15:19, Reply)

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