Stop wriggling! whispered baldmonkey
Sorry said Gonzo, steadying his portable dialysis machine against his folds of hairy fat, stained to an off-white by years of B&H.

There wasn't really enough room in the wardrobe for both perverts but that only added to the enjoyment. Baldmonkey particularly enjoyed the rancid Chinese-food smell from Gonzo's pits and Gonzo had been unable to maintain an erection without being humiliated since Sexface took his own life after being rejected by Lampito a few months before.

Outside the wardrobe came the sound of a door opening and the innocent laughter of two young lovers. Balders and Gonz grappled with each other to get their beady eye in front of the keyhole. Baldmonkey was the strongest and began to relay to Gonzo what he could see.

Baldmonkey watched as cr3 and Spangolin entered the bedroom and climbed onto the transformer's themed bedclothes with Minecraft pillows like two borrowers mounting a shoebox. His tiny, shrimp-like genitalia throbbing in his sausage hand...
( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:11, archived)

MORE! MORE!

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:14, archived)

near the top
I've been away for a bit but gosh at all the stuff that's gone on
(Dr. Geoff Honkington woof, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:11, archived)

Who are you?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:28, archived)

Boooo

( jenpots, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:29, archived)

Oh right, ta.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:29, archived)

I'm here to help

( jenpots, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:30, archived)

Eeep, top ninjaing.
'Ning The LOVELIEST DEADLIEST Jenpots.
*Panders*
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:38, archived)

Hello Super Stuj
How is your Thursday treating you?
( jenpots, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:39, archived)

Pretty good ta.
Although I'm amazed at the sheer masochism of some of my colleagues. We've been given a choice of start times for dayshifts 07:00 or 07:30.
And the majority have bloody voted for 07:00!
:/
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:46, archived)

+the fuck

( likeajackhammer, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:29, archived)

it's boooo. it's been away for a bit but gosh it's back.
durrr.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:37, archived)

'Ning The LOVELY Sidekick.
*Panders*
It's not REALLY Bou you know.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:41, archived)

HELLO STUJ.
still going to that here brizzle on saturday?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:43, archived)

Hell YEAH!
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:47, archived)

Share a flagon of mead for me

( Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:52, archived)

NO SHARESIES.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:55, archived)

Will do The LOVELY Theoban.
I'm NOT going to wear the Wench costume for you though.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:05, archived)

I wonder if it's Bou?

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:38, archived)

Can't be, name is spelt with 4 o's
and no u.
( jenpots, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:40, archived)

Oh.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:41, archived)

silly maffers.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:43, archived)

Indeed.

( jenpots, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:44, archived)

What's going on? asked Gonzo, growing impatient.
Shhhh said baldmonkey who was watching cr3's chinless face mong-kiss Spangle's cherubic visage. The scene reminded baldmonkey of a pug trying to eat a pink digestive biscuit from Rocky Denis' mouth.

baldmonkey described what he was watching between pants and tugs.
Gonzo began to beat his degloved bagel like a monkey scaring children.
( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:14, archived)

Outside the wardrobe things were progressing quickly, perhaps a little too quickly.
'Slow down Daddy bear' urged Spangolin as cr3's micro-dong began to cough and splutter droplets of precum onto his WoW-themed hoodie.
( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:18, archived)

dude you need to check your facts better.

( sleepybinky, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:18, archived)

Haha, yes, I agree, his lack of attention to detail in facts is really making this all seem a bit silly.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:21, archived)

I think you've just admited to seeing cr3's penis.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:23, archived)

he doesn't approve of WoW :(

( sleepybinky, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:24, archived)

if anyone had that hoodie it would be spangalang.

( sleepybinky, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:25, archived)

it ruined the story for me, suddenly it all fell apart at the seams

( sleepybinky, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:25, archived)

*waits to see exactly how many reverse gears Binky's bike has got*

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:27, archived)

The premise is a fantasy.
Its ok to pretend.
( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:28, archived)

What you mean none of these stories actually happened?
You fucking fraud.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:53, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcCO6E4NUs8
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:01, archived)

Cr3 is a tantric lover with an enormous cock.
You heard it hear first.
( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:23, archived)

haha

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:32, archived)

He was borrowing it from you
It's well established in this / that you can't get fizzy knickers unless your man is wearing tier 10 gear.
( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:35, archived)

Arena Gear or nothin', baby.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:02, archived)

Suddenly Spangolin turned to face the wardrobe.
Baldmonkey thought for a moment that spangolin was looking straight at him and involuntarily he spat his filth early, straight through the crack between the doors. Some backwash necessarily landed on Gonzo's nose (it filling most of the internal cavity of the wardrobe) and a snowball effect began with Gonzo jizzing, whilst quaking like a burning spastic locked in a car on a hot day.
( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:22, archived)

Seeing the tiny jet of ejaculate emerge like cuckoo spit from her wardrobe gave the game away to keen-minded Spangolin who leapt up and threw open the wardrobe.
Inside was a grotesque caricature of the shit one from Bottom and Super Mario's Jewish cousin, both covered in overripe cottage cheese.
( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:27, archived)

*Officelol bearing the taint of never being able to explain what I am laughing at to puzzled coworkers,*

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:28, archived)

I'm going to stop there
I'm not going to top 'degloved bagel'
( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:30, archived)

can you go back and change that with to a like then
i presume that's what you meant
only it's ruining the whole experience for me
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:34, archived)

Which sentence?

( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:36, archived)

Baldmonkey watched as cr3 and Spangolin entered the bedroom and climbed onto the transformer's themed bedclothes with two borrowers mounting a shoebox.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:38, archived)

the borrowers were crucial to their plans :(

( sleepybinky, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:43, archived)

the ironic thing is, you seplt cousin wrong
making it even better
( likeajackhammer, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:52, archived)

The truly ironic thing is that you spelt
'spelt' wrong in your post.
( WormuIus, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 15:43, archived)

"Super Mario's Jewish Cousin" made it for me.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:02, archived)

Is it so wrong that I have a semi now?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:15, archived)

I'm gonna put them all in a text-to-speech, lay back and wank myself silly.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:17, archived)

I'm just going to think about the three baby rabbits I saw when I went out to my instrument enclosure earlier.
Nice innocent thoughts.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:21, archived)

They were just outside of the rabbit hole under the path.
And they didn't even run for cover when they saw me.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:24, archived)

Baldmonkey's penis.

( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:27, archived)

:(
BAD WORMULUS!
Rabbits.
Lolloping.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:29, archived)

to be honest I'm not sure you've picked the absolute best species to think about here if you're seeking to blot frenetic sexual activity out of your mind
( vladimir, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:33, archived)

:(
You furries make me SICK!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:35, archived)

Here is a LION!
www.eversostrange.com/2011/03/27/the-stuffed-lion-of-gripsholms-castle/
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:10, archived)

hahahaha, oh man that is funny! it looks so gormless.

( spesh., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:13, archived)

It's like a Cuffbert version of a lion.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:14, archived)

alright stuj.
are you not on a rock in the end arse-end of the south Atlantic at the moment?
( spesh., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:16, archived)

Nope The LOVELY speshulknees.
I am Somewhere In England.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:17, archived)

I imagine this is like when the Catholic Church send a peado priest to a different far-away parish
only the offences were committed with penguins.
( spesh., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:19, archived)

:(
They were all legal and it was all consensual AND NOBODY CAN PROVE DIFFERENT!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:24, archived)

"Sir, I'm afraid the chappy with the balloons has been...err....upsetting the penguins again."
"What?? Again?? We can't afford another scandal, send him back to the home country, Sarn't Major".
( spesh., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:27, archived)

They LOVE me.
You're just JEALOUS.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:34, archived)

I believe NAMBLA tried to use that defence too.

( spesh., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:41, archived)

:(
Don't go trying to compare me to those freaks. I don't look like Cartman much.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:49, archived)

sorry, I've gone too far haven't I?

( spesh., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:03, archived)

Well, now I'm aroused AND confused.
So, maybe.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:10, archived)

you may also like: boobies

( sleepybinky, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:54, archived)

:D
I was wondering who'd be the first to spot that one...
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:01, archived)

Better
All round if we
Listen to you and
Don't think any
More
Or better yet,
Never think at all about those things
Knowing you though,
Even now
You'll be
Still thinking about

Cherful
Or
Cheery
Kittens or rabbits.
( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:33, archived)

Caught in the center of a soundless wardrobe
While hot inexplicable hours go by
What trap is this? Where were its teeth concealed?
She seemed to ask.
They make a sharp reply,
Then clean their dicks. I'm glad I can't explain
Just in what jews she was to suppurate:
She may have thought things would come right again
If she could only keep quite still and wait
Until gonzo and baldmonkey fell through the back of the closet
And into Narnia, not a moment too late
( vladimir, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:37, archived)

HAHAHA

( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:43, archived)

You are a VERY bad man.
The LOVELY Wormulus.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:39, archived)

I'm pretty sure that any minute now, you're going to imagine Gonzo picking up one of those bunnys to wipe the fusty ball-gruel off his sweaty belly.
You disgust me.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:42, archived)

or that as their eyes grow accustomed to the gloom of the wardrobe, they realise they are completely surrounded by rabbit costumes on coat hangers
( vladimir, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:44, archived)

Aaaaand, I'm done.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:44, archived)

fucks sake.

( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:45, archived)

It has a strawberry birthmark on the bell end in a sort of kidney shape.
I doubt it tastes of either strawberries or kidney though.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:30, archived)

Kidneys can taste of piss.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:31, archived)

Pissy spunkulous cottage (as Wormulus so rightly pointed out) cheese.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:36, archived)

I saw an unexpected bunny yesterday.
It fair cheered me up, it did and distracted me from my bad hair day yesterday.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:28, archived)

Gonzo's pubes.

( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:28, archived)

jewbes

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:35, archived)

There's loads on the base.
I often see them on top of one of the fuel dumps in the morning.
:)
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:31, archived)

loads on the base
like Gonzo's jewbes.
( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:37, archived)

That's not fuel he's dumping.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:39, archived)

Does he braid them?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:42, archived)

He has one of those hasidic jew hats on top of his bell end

( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:45, archived)

He also catches and collects all his spunk in a jar.
He's not just going to give this stuff out for free you know.
He calls it "The Jar Of David".
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:48, archived)

haha

( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:51, archived)

And he bobs it up and down against a wall.
Yes.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:48, archived)

On a good day I can make it sing and dance "If I was a rich man, ba da dadadad da da".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:55, archived)

If I were a big dong dad adadada adadadadadad
All day long I'd wriggle in a bum etc.
( WormuIus, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:57, archived)

Fiddling on the roof again?
You'll catch your death of cold up there Gonzy.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:58, archived)

Why are we still on this?
I've been to McDonald's and back.
Yeah, that's right, McDonald's. Fuck you.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:37, archived)

Will you start a new thread?
pretty please, with a cherry on top.
( jenpots, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:41, archived)

No.
I'm trying to give it up.
You do it.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:42, archived)

Don't wanna.
I'm gonna do some more accounting instead.
( jenpots, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:45, archived)

Bitch.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:48, archived)