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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Today is my anniversary. I have been married to the wife for 8 years.
I reckon its the longest time I done anything. Including jobs, houses kids etc.

Whats the longest thing you've spent time doing?

Extra points for YM, YD and line breaks.

Alt. Who should I use my super secret mod powers on and why?
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:06, 243 replies, latest was 5 years ago)
you should mod me out of existence

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:11, Reply)
Well thanks for asking popular poster PhillieJoe and congratulations on your anniversary!
I would guess the longest thing I've done is been alive. Thanks for asking!

Alt. Use them on Doser and that lego cunt who is really Katie Hopkins off QOTW
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:35, Reply)
Congrats, Phil.
Nice darts.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:40, Reply)
Hey Stunned Poster.
Time where you are and what you're drinking update please!
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:43, Reply)
it is now 16.13 and beer o'clock is in 45 mins.
it is 38C.

we changed hotel today because of all the cunt kids at ours. I say hotel, I have rented a private villa with it's own pool!!! 150 dollars a night. Unreal.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:17, Reply)
good work.
I did a really long fart when I was about 15 if that counts. a bout 6 seconds I think it was
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:42, Reply)
Thats pretty good going.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:43, Reply)
No way, man!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:44, Reply)
Hi PhillieJoe poster, congratulations on achieving eight years of marriage, it's strong family values like this that keep Britain great.
I have been married a little over ten years now and have worked for my employers for over fifteen.

Alt: If you could somehow use your super secret mod powers to make 'The Good People' post more and influence the boring people to be a little less boring, that would be super.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:44, Reply)
I am posting!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:44, Reply)
And the site is all the better for it.
Keep up the good work!
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:46, Reply)
Congrats on the anniversary - I managed almost 20 years
Longest employment was 12 years for the same company.

Alt: No idea - sorry.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:49, Reply)
***C*o*N*g*R*a*T*u*L*a*T*i*O*n*s***
Once I had a job for 10 years, then I got made redundant!
Once I bought a house 15 years ago, I still have it and have never been a povvo renter!!
I've had the same keyring for over a decade!!!

Alt: Can you just mod anyone that upsets me by saying hurtful things because I'm quite delicate.

C H E E R S
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:51, Reply)
I povvo rented....
A £1200 a month flat in London in 2001
A £300 a month flat above a chip shop in 2003
A Grotty £400 a month flat in 2005
A lovely £600 a month house in 2007

Then I bought a lovely house and stopped being a povvo renter and became an actual povvo because my mortgage payments are so high.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:56, Reply)
I bought a house at 19 because it was cheaper than renting, and my tiny mortgage has only ever been a small fraction of my income!!!
Now I still have a house I own in (full) but live in a multi million pound flat in London!!!

But I'm still poor!!!!!!!

Not really!!!

(Really!!!)

LOL
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:59, Reply)
Yeah, I've consistently paid less year on year for the house that I 'own' than I ever did for any povvo renting I did previously.
But that's mostly down to George Osborne's steady hand on the tiller of the economy.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:06, Reply)
Povvo renters are stupid! It's wasted money! Other things people say in an attempt to be snobbish!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:09, Reply)
I bought a nice house
which meant paying far more a month than I was paying for a shitpit above a chippy
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:14, Reply)
I demand pictures of your finished kitchen so I can judge you, although I suspect it's lovely as you are a man of impeccable taste and a bit of a farking legend.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:17, Reply)
It's still not finished
I haven't done the plinths, cornices, pelmets, breakfast bar, Drilled the hole in the house for the cooker hood, fitted the hood, done end strips on worktops, plumbed the tap or masturbated in the sink.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:20, Reply)
What *have* you done?

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:21, Reply)
Well
Ripped old kitchen out. ripped internal walls down, rebuilt internal walls, plastered internal walls, painted internal walls, fitted Carcasses, corner cupboard, larders, doors, Worktops, wall units, lighting, sink, tap, moved gas pipe, moved sockets, added sockets, plumbed in waste pipe. drilled hole in house for waste pipe. modified one unit to surround boiler, had a scrap with the guys from the shop. There probably more but I'm sick of it
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:26, Reply)
And you still haven't found time to masturbate in there?

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:33, Reply)
U2 tried an edgier second verse

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:34, Reply)
Have you done a poo in the waste pipe yet?

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:34, Reply)
n

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:38, Reply)
Well theres todays task sorted

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:41, Reply)
We chose a new kitchen, It's cool and modern like I wanted not some fusty piece of Victoriana like Swipe wanted.
I tricked her using my elite sales skillz to think a modern one would be better and it worked, what an idiot!
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:24, Reply)
I like wood so we have gone for solid oak with a modern feel
When you come and visit you can see it in person!
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:32, Reply)
YESSSSS! I hope we go to Cornwall this year, I like Cornwall. Cornwall and Cornish people are the best ones here.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:35, Reply)
I like their wafers

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:36, Reply)
I like the funny voices they do and how they all pretend to be stupid, for a laugh.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:37, Reply)
You'll be disappointed in my voice
despite what MontyBoyce4EvaInRHarts and Swipe may have told you, I do not speak like Jethro.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:39, Reply)
Cant you ham it up a bit for meaters

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:40, Reply)
They said you'd say that

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:40, Reply)
No, they said I'd say this.
Ere, 'spite wot mants and swioghpe moight hav tol' ye oigh daant talk loighke jefro
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:42, Reply)
Lol
Also my accent is probably worse than yours
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:43, Reply)
I speak the queens mate, right proper toff I am

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:47, Reply)
Cool, I sound like a man selling knock off fags in a pub car park from an Aldi carrier bag

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:50, Reply)
I'll have 40 "marlboro"

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:52, Reply)
Soz, only got 'Lucky Stroke' left

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:53, Reply)
terrible bullying of Rory

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:54, Reply)
RIP 'Richard Head'

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:58, Reply)
Bring the budgies!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:37, Reply)
Their big cage will go in the new car! It's all coming together, it was meant to be!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:38, Reply)
They have wings. They can just fly here

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:39, Reply)
They are fat lazy bastards who need to be forced to fly.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:41, Reply)
We had our honeymoon in Cornwall.
One of the best holidays I've ever had.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:41, Reply)
I really like it there.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:42, Reply)
I was there!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:43, Reply)
On my honeymoon?

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:47, Reply)
Yeh, wanking in the bushes

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:50, Reply)
You should have knocked on the window.
You could have joined in.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:53, Reply)
Nah, he looked like he might have a heart attack if an ice cream van drove past

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:54, Reply)
The poor bugger had a fishing boat trip booked on the one day the weather was properly horrendous
He came back that evening practically hypothermic. My marriage very nearly lasted exactly seven days.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:57, Reply)
He chilled on Sunday?

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:00, Reply)
Half Flat

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:13, Reply)
It's half mine now

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:15, Reply)
Half yours and half her dads.
How does she feel about that? You married yet? Where's my invite? The budgies should get a share. I want a sausage sandwich. I just ate a topic. I like gin. I hate MV more than CQ. I love steak.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:17, Reply)
Marriage is for gays now m8. I'm leaving everything to the budgies in my will when I die of prostate cancer in the next year or so.
I might get a sausage and bacon sandwich. I like topics. I don't really hate anyone.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:19, Reply)
I'm upset online at this
please delete
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:22, Reply)
Sorry, I cannot.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:25, Reply)
I should be b& really

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:27, Reply)
NEVA! STAY 4EVA!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:28, Reply)
In a similar vein,
last week was the 15th anniversary of me being here in Weston. It's the longest I've ever been any one place.

Alt: you should use them to give me full mod powers. Then I can BANHAMMER all the cunts.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:06, Reply)
Do you think you'll stick around there when the old man takes his final walk on the pier?

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:09, Reply)
Probably.
Saying that, I have a lot of family up in the Fatherland, so I might end up back there.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:10, Reply)
OK Done.
You just need to click on the new admin icon in your tool bar and log in.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:15, Reply)
Congratulations my good man
I've been married for 6 years now (I think) and been in my job for 17 1/2 years

I have run out of coffee at home so that was traumatic
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:33, Reply)
U ok bbz?
Wanna tlk abt it?
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:43, Reply)
Its OK now, thanks
We have industrial quantities of coffee at work. It was a close thing though
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:49, Reply)
Phew!


So, didja see the finale?
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:51, Reply)
Ohh yeah
Fucking excellent start and middle but odd end
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:31, Reply)
I have also run out of coffee at home.
Luckily I can drink as much as I like at work.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:46, Reply)
I'm glad that you've spent less than 8 years doing kids.
Fewer.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:35, Reply)
I spent longer than 8 years doing this picture for "the beethreeta imageboard", it had all the 'memes' and Star Wars in it, it was the best thing ever, and then rob shut the place down just one hour before I was going to post it, fml

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:38, Reply)
Happy anniversary
I think that 8th is the salt one, so buy your missus a potion of chips
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:37, Reply)
She bought me a small bar of Salted caramel chocolate.
I bought her a big bottle of Jim Beam Maple.

Hmmmmm
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:40, Reply)
If I know women like I think I know women
this means she wants you to paint her face with a special salty liquid later
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:42, Reply)
I'll wait until shes asleep to make it even more of a surprise

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:43, Reply)
Thats the way they like it best of all

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:47, Reply)
I know I do.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:47, Reply)
Keeps you young innit

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:50, Reply)
I have a couple of great vids of me painting this lasses face when I was at uni. Strangely they never made it on to the internet yet despite me losing at least three phones with them on

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:51, Reply)
Tigers are well scary though

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:55, Reply)
My new toy has just arrived!
So exciting!
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:55, Reply)
not clickin that, might be a massive dildo soz

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:57, Reply)
What do you mean, MIGHT?
Of course it is!
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:58, Reply)
Sweet, gaz me a pic once you've scanned your minge!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:01, Reply)
I didnt know they did A2 scanners

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:02, Reply)


(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:02, Reply)
What the shuddering fuck is that?
It looks worse than a munchy box.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:04, Reply)
The photo I took from the bushes on your honeymoon

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:05, Reply)
It looks like 2 deep fried chicken breasts filled with cheese and bacon
Or what Peej said
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:09, Reply)
I'd say it just goes to prove that
battered = repulsive
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:10, Reply)
haha!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:11, Reply)
Don't diss munchyboxes.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:24, Reply)
I am not going to click that link but instead I am going to say its a massive steam powered dildo

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:58, Reply)
Not clicking that.
Might be a black 36" double ended dildo with realistic bollocks.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:58, Reply)
Looks like the shit hand held one we had in the 90s
Dildos that is
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:59, Reply)
I'm *well* excited.
Plus, it was a present, so if it turns out to be shit, I haven't wasted any money.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:09, Reply)
HAHA DILDOS!!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:01, Reply)
Just 59 to go!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:03, Reply)
This thread has entertained me so far, thanks Peej, you've done a great job.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:07, Reply)
He's the saviour of /OT

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:08, Reply)
its always better here when I take part

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:09, Reply)
just adding to post count
for security purposes
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:13, Reply)
Let's count to 40 sub thread!
1
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:14, Reply)
You bloody liar

Profile for PhillieJoe:

• a member for 10 years, 6 months and 2 days
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:23, Reply)
Damn! I guess I love this place more than my wife!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:47, Reply)
lol noob

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:53, Reply)
what's this meant to be anyway?

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:31, Reply)
A radioactive plug socket

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:32, Reply)
an aborted foetus

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:32, Reply)
Kim Jung Un

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:33, Reply)
That's the real answer isn't it, I may have overreacted :(

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:36, Reply)
I dunno mate,
I was just being flippant.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:37, Reply)
I think the clue is in the url

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:39, Reply)
Never contradict. Never explain. Never apologise.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:39, Reply)
why not?

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:40, Reply)
Dunno, bloke down pub said.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:46, Reply)
No he didn't.
See, that's funny, because I was contradicting. Now I'm explaining.
Sorry.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:51, Reply)
I hope PhillieJoe deletes this please soon.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:53, Reply)
Because it's called 'kim'

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:39, Reply)
Cheers

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:40, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:41, Reply)
LOOK JUST FORGET IT IF YOU ARE JUST GOING TO BE STUPID

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:34, Reply)
pissed up Betty boo

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:38, Reply)
no u never

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:40, Reply)
cheers

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:45, Reply)
Cheers

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:45, Reply)
Cheers

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:46, Reply)
Cheers.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:46, Reply)
can anyone beat philliejoes saviour of ot thread?

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:51, Reply)
i love you

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:51, Reply)
I'm b& from starting threads because I get upset too easily

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:52, Reply)
DO IT!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:54, Reply)
I can't man, this is what I see
Start New Offtopic Thread | Popular
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:59, Reply)
OK try now,
I've unblocked you using secret mod powers HERE
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:02, Reply)

s saviour of ot thread over the head with a book

Yeah, his missus.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:52, Reply)
MODS!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:53, Reply)
What I mean to say is, I'll mod this later with my mod powers you big bully!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:58, Reply)
Only a GeordieJay thread could beat this high post count

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:54, Reply)
Awww, thanks buddy.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:08, Reply)
It's beer o'clock! YAY!

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:52, Reply)
9am already?

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:53, Reply)
gone 5pm here, Miss.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:09, Reply)
Hey! Congrats!!
I worked in the bar and DJ field for a good ten years.
Longest relationship is just shy of three


YM


alt. I'd "accidently" post IRL material and watch it all kick off.
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:08, Reply)
field?

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:09, Reply)
yes, they were outdoor pubs

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:10, Reply)
I meant line, obviously

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:11, Reply)
don't mind if I do.

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:14, Reply)
What? Like this?
About: Non-Smoker with fat body type
City: Manchester, UK
Details: 39 year old Male, 5' 3" (160cm), Non-religious
Ethnicity: Spud
GeordieJay is looking for a father figure.
Education: Some primary school
Personality: Junkie
Profession: Ambulance Chaser
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:11, Reply)
So it's YOU keeps putting my view counts up.
xx
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:12, Reply)
Not another short arse

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:12, Reply)
innit

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:13, Reply)
I've not measured my height since school, tbh

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:13, Reply)
can't reach up to the kitchen drawers, eh?

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:14, Reply)
I reached up YD drawers last night
I felt nothing
(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:17, Reply)
Not sure how this is relevant, I had reached a respectable height by the age of 15

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:17, Reply)
and yet people still looked down on you

(, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:17, Reply)

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