Today is my anniversary. I have been married to the wife for 8 years.
I reckon its the longest time I done anything. Including jobs, houses kids etc.

Whats the longest thing you've spent time doing?

Extra points for YM, YD and line breaks.

Alt. Who should I use my super secret mod powers on and why?
( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:06, 142 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

you should mod me out of existence

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:11, Reply)

Congrats, Phil.
Nice darts.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:40, Reply)

Hey Stunned Poster.
Time where you are and what you're drinking update please!
( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:43, Reply)

it is now 16.13 and beer o'clock is in 45 mins.
it is 38C.

we changed hotel today because of all the cunt kids at ours. I say hotel, I have rented a private villa with it's own pool!!! 150 dollars a night. Unreal.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:17, Reply)

good work.
I did a really long fart when I was about 15 if that counts. a bout 6 seconds I think it was
( $$ ✅, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:42, Reply)

Thats pretty good going.

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:43, Reply)

No way, man!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:44, Reply)

Congrats on the anniversary - I managed almost 20 years
Longest employment was 12 years for the same company.

Alt: No idea - sorry.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:49, Reply)

***C*o*N*g*R*a*T*u*L*a*T*i*O*n*s***
Once I had a job for 10 years, then I got made redundant!
Once I bought a house 15 years ago, I still have it and have never been a povvo renter!!
I've had the same keyring for over a decade!!!

Alt: Can you just mod anyone that upsets me by saying hurtful things because I'm quite delicate.

C H E E R S
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:51, Reply)

I povvo rented....
A £1200 a month flat in London in 2001
A £300 a month flat above a chip shop in 2003
A Grotty £400 a month flat in 2005
A lovely £600 a month house in 2007

Then I bought a lovely house and stopped being a povvo renter and became an actual povvo because my mortgage payments are so high.
( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:56, Reply)

I bought a house at 19 because it was cheaper than renting, and my tiny mortgage has only ever been a small fraction of my income!!!
Now I still have a house I own in (full) but live in a multi million pound flat in London!!!

But I'm still poor!!!!!!!

Not really!!!

(Really!!!)

LOL
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 8:59, Reply)

Yeah, I've consistently paid less year on year for the house that I 'own' than I ever did for any povvo renting I did previously.
But that's mostly down to George Osborne's steady hand on the tiller of the economy.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:06, Reply)

Povvo renters are stupid! It's wasted money! Other things people say in an attempt to be snobbish!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:09, Reply)

I bought a nice house
which meant paying far more a month than I was paying for a shitpit above a chippy
( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:14, Reply)

I demand pictures of your finished kitchen so I can judge you, although I suspect it's lovely as you are a man of impeccable taste and a bit of a farking legend.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:17, Reply)

It's still not finished
I haven't done the plinths, cornices, pelmets, breakfast bar, Drilled the hole in the house for the cooker hood, fitted the hood, done end strips on worktops, plumbed the tap or masturbated in the sink.
( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:20, Reply)

What *have* you done?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:21, Reply)

Well
Ripped old kitchen out. ripped internal walls down, rebuilt internal walls, plastered internal walls, painted internal walls, fitted Carcasses, corner cupboard, larders, doors, Worktops, wall units, lighting, sink, tap, moved gas pipe, moved sockets, added sockets, plumbed in waste pipe. drilled hole in house for waste pipe. modified one unit to surround boiler, had a scrap with the guys from the shop. There probably more but I'm sick of it
( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:26, Reply)

And you still haven't found time to masturbate in there?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:33, Reply)

U2 tried an edgier second verse

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:34, Reply)

Have you done a poo in the waste pipe yet?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:34, Reply)

n

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:38, Reply)

Well theres todays task sorted

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:41, Reply)

We chose a new kitchen, It's cool and modern like I wanted not some fusty piece of Victoriana like Swipe wanted.
I tricked her using my elite sales skillz to think a modern one would be better and it worked, what an idiot!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:24, Reply)

I like wood so we have gone for solid oak with a modern feel
When you come and visit you can see it in person!
( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:32, Reply)

YESSSSS! I hope we go to Cornwall this year, I like Cornwall. Cornwall and Cornish people are the best ones here.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:35, Reply)

I like their wafers

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:36, Reply)

I like the funny voices they do and how they all pretend to be stupid, for a laugh.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:37, Reply)

You'll be disappointed in my voice
despite what MontyBoyce4EvaInRHarts and Swipe may have told you, I do not speak like Jethro.
( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:39, Reply)

Cant you ham it up a bit for meaters

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:40, Reply)

They said you'd say that

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:40, Reply)

No, they said I'd say this.
Ere, 'spite wot mants and swioghpe moight hav tol' ye oigh daant talk loighke jefro
( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:42, Reply)

Lol
Also my accent is probably worse than yours
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:43, Reply)

I speak the queens mate, right proper toff I am

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:47, Reply)

Cool, I sound like a man selling knock off fags in a pub car park from an Aldi carrier bag

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:50, Reply)

I'll have 40 "marlboro"

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:52, Reply)

Soz, only got 'Lucky Stroke' left

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:53, Reply)

terrible bullying of Rory

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:54, Reply)

RIP 'Richard Head'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:58, Reply)

Bring the budgies!

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:37, Reply)

Their big cage will go in the new car! It's all coming together, it was meant to be!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:38, Reply)

They have wings. They can just fly here

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:39, Reply)

They are fat lazy bastards who need to be forced to fly.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:41, Reply)

We had our honeymoon in Cornwall.
One of the best holidays I've ever had.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:41, Reply)

I really like it there.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:42, Reply)

I was there!

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:43, Reply)

On my honeymoon?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:47, Reply)

Yeh, wanking in the bushes

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:50, Reply)

You should have knocked on the window.
You could have joined in.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:53, Reply)

Nah, he looked like he might have a heart attack if an ice cream van drove past

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:54, Reply)

The poor bugger had a fishing boat trip booked on the one day the weather was properly horrendous
He came back that evening practically hypothermic. My marriage very nearly lasted exactly seven days.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:57, Reply)

He chilled on Sunday?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:00, Reply)

Half Flat

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:13, Reply)

It's half mine now

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:15, Reply)

Half yours and half her dads.
How does she feel about that? You married yet? Where's my invite? The budgies should get a share. I want a sausage sandwich. I just ate a topic. I like gin. I hate MV more than CQ. I love steak.
( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:17, Reply)

Marriage is for gays now m8. I'm leaving everything to the budgies in my will when I die of prostate cancer in the next year or so.
I might get a sausage and bacon sandwich. I like topics. I don't really hate anyone.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:19, Reply)

I'm upset online at this
please delete
( $$ ✅, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:22, Reply)

Sorry, I cannot.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:25, Reply)

I should be b& really

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:27, Reply)

NEVA! STAY 4EVA!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:28, Reply)

In a similar vein,
last week was the 15th anniversary of me being here in Weston. It's the longest I've ever been any one place.

Alt: you should use them to give me full mod powers. Then I can BANHAMMER all the cunts.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:06, Reply)

Do you think you'll stick around there when the old man takes his final walk on the pier?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:09, Reply)

Probably.
Saying that, I have a lot of family up in the Fatherland, so I might end up back there.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:10, Reply)

OK Done.
You just need to click on the new admin icon in your tool bar and log in.
( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:15, Reply)

Congratulations my good man
I've been married for 6 years now (I think) and been in my job for 17 1/2 years

I have run out of coffee at home so that was traumatic
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:33, Reply)

U ok bbz?
Wanna tlk abt it?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:43, Reply)

Its OK now, thanks
We have industrial quantities of coffee at work. It was a close thing though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:49, Reply)

Phew!


So, didja see the finale?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:51, Reply)

Ohh yeah
Fucking excellent start and middle but odd end
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:31, Reply)

I have also run out of coffee at home.
Luckily I can drink as much as I like at work.
( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:46, Reply)

I'm glad that you've spent less than 8 years doing kids.
Fewer.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:35, Reply)

I spent longer than 8 years doing this picture for "the beethreeta imageboard", it had all the 'memes' and Star Wars in it, it was the best thing ever, and then rob shut the place down just one hour before I was going to post it, fml

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:38, Reply)

Happy anniversary
I think that 8th is the salt one, so buy your missus a potion of chips
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:37, Reply)

She bought me a small bar of Salted caramel chocolate.
I bought her a big bottle of Jim Beam Maple.

Hmmmmm
( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:40, Reply)

If I know women like I think I know women
this means she wants you to paint her face with a special salty liquid later
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:42, Reply)

I'll wait until shes asleep to make it even more of a surprise

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:43, Reply)

Thats the way they like it best of all

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:47, Reply)

I know I do.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:47, Reply)

Keeps you young innit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:50, Reply)

I have a couple of great vids of me painting this lasses face when I was at uni. Strangely they never made it on to the internet yet despite me losing at least three phones with them on

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:51, Reply)

Tigers are well scary though

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:55, Reply)

My new toy has just arrived!
So exciting!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:55, Reply)

not clickin that, might be a massive dildo soz

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:57, Reply)

What do you mean, MIGHT?
Of course it is!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:58, Reply)

Sweet, gaz me a pic once you've scanned your minge!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:01, Reply)

I didnt know they did A2 scanners

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:02, Reply)

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:02, Reply)

What the shuddering fuck is that?
It looks worse than a munchy box.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:04, Reply)

The photo I took from the bushes on your honeymoon

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:05, Reply)

It looks like 2 deep fried chicken breasts filled with cheese and bacon
Or what Peej said
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:09, Reply)

I'd say it just goes to prove that
battered = repulsive
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:10, Reply)

haha!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:11, Reply)

Don't diss munchyboxes.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:24, Reply)

I am not going to click that link but instead I am going to say its a massive steam powered dildo

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:58, Reply)

Not clicking that.
Might be a black 36" double ended dildo with realistic bollocks.
( Muns, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:58, Reply)

Looks like the shit hand held one we had in the 90s
Dildos that is
( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 9:59, Reply)

I'm *well* excited.
Plus, it was a present, so if it turns out to be shit, I haven't wasted any money.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:09, Reply)

HAHA DILDOS!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:01, Reply)

Just 59 to go!

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:03, Reply)

This thread has entertained me so far, thanks Peej, you've done a great job.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:07, Reply)

He's the saviour of /OT

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:08, Reply)

its always better here when I take part

( Peej, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:09, Reply)

just adding to post count
for security purposes
( $$ ✅, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:13, Reply)

Let's count to 40 sub thread!
1
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:14, Reply)

what's this meant to be anyway?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:31, Reply)

A radioactive plug socket

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:32, Reply)

an aborted foetus

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:32, Reply)

Kim Jung Un

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:33, Reply)

That's the real answer isn't it, I may have overreacted :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:36, Reply)

I dunno mate,
I was just being flippant.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:37, Reply)

I think the clue is in the url

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:39, Reply)

Never contradict. Never explain. Never apologise.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:39, Reply)

why not?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:40, Reply)

Dunno, bloke down pub said.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:46, Reply)

No he didn't.
See, that's funny, because I was contradicting. Now I'm explaining.
Sorry.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:51, Reply)

Because it's called 'kim'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:39, Reply)

Cheers

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:40, Reply)

cheers

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:41, Reply)

LOOK JUST FORGET IT IF YOU ARE JUST GOING TO BE STUPID

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:34, Reply)

pissed up Betty boo

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:38, Reply)

no u never

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:40, Reply)

cheers

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:45, Reply)

Cheers

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:45, Reply)

Cheers

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:46, Reply)

Cheers.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:46, Reply)

It's beer o'clock! YAY!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:52, Reply)

9am already?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:53, Reply)

gone 5pm here, Miss.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:09, Reply)

Hey! Congrats!!
I worked in the bar and DJ field for a good ten years.
Longest relationship is just shy of three


YM


alt. I'd "accidently" post IRL material and watch it all kick off.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:08, Reply)

field?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:09, Reply)

yes, they were outdoor pubs

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:10, Reply)

I meant line, obviously

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:11, Reply)

don't mind if I do.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:14, Reply)

What? Like this?
About: Non-Smoker with fat body type
City: Manchester, UK
Details: 39 year old Male, 5' 3" (160cm), Non-religious
Ethnicity: Spud
GeordieJay is looking for a father figure.
Education: Some primary school
Personality: Junkie
Profession: Ambulance Chaser
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:11, Reply)

So it's YOU keeps putting my view counts up.
xx
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:12, Reply)

Not another short arse

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:12, Reply)

innit

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:13, Reply)

I've not measured my height since school, tbh

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:13, Reply)

can't reach up to the kitchen drawers, eh?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:14, Reply)

I reached up YD drawers last night
I felt nothing
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:17, Reply)

Not sure how this is relevant, I had reached a respectable height by the age of 15

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:17, Reply)

and yet people still looked down on you

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:17, Reply)