Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
so 8% funny in total?I figured it would be great if it came from B3th who is unable to even with shitmod powers
(
Peej, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:15,
Reply)
I'm reliably informed that b3th never makes ANYTHING funnier.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:15,
Reply)
I bet if you fell over and landed with your breasts squished up in front of your face like a couple of pink bean bags that people would laugh(
Peej, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:16,
Reply)
white goods for hard working white people(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:17,
Reply)
It's you now. Until you get banned and then it will be me again. (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:22,
Reply)
Frog is currently in joint second place with Windy Pig.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:23,
Reply)
You're just below jaysum, who is three places below bonzo(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:26,
Reply)
No, but I'm assuming any lurkers there might be would slot into one of the available places above Dozer(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:32,
Reply)
you have an iq of threethis is a very different thing
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:32,
Reply)
i was being generousthe dude spends his time jerking off over the fact that he tries to take money away from far more clever and successful people.
it's more like being a slug than a real human being.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:38,
Reply)
how am I taking money away from them?Your living is selling legal advice. My living is from the selling of financial advice. There's no fundamental difference.
(, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:41, Reply)
You both seem to take a bizarre pride in the value of the people you serve.It's like a Polish car cleaner bragging about having rinsed a Bentley.
(, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:43, Reply)
Yeh but Polish Car cleaners don't earn stupid money for doing itIt hardly seems fair to me. I think They should get more for Bentleys and Ferraris than for a 1.6l 6n Polo CL
(
Peej, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:45,
Reply)
Surely you get more for washing a Bentley than a Fiat Punto.They're fucking massive.
(, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:47, Reply)
Not if your Polishas if more proof were needed that racism is alive and well in the elite classes.
(
Peej, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:51,
Reply)
If we're talking about the ones in supermarket carparks,I'd be impressed if they did it using clean water and without breaking any windscreen wipers.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:52,
Reply)
Everyone round here goes to the Polish car washyou get about 15 guys hand washing your car, takes no time at all, fucking good job done, no swirls in the paint and it costs about 6 quid.
(
Peej, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:00,
Reply)
haha I'm dealing with a complaint from a Euromillions winnerHe can barely sign his own name, the wanker.
(, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:46, Reply)
You should totally embezzle his winnings.He'd probably not even notice.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:47,
Reply)
nah he's gone to a different firmHe wants the 360k initial commission back so his new adviser can get paid. I've explained to the ombudsman why the transaction wasn't regulated so there's nothing either he or the client can do to make us pay it back.
(, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:49, Reply)
Did your explanation include the words 'loser' and 'haha'?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:50,
Reply)
pretty muchThe FOS chap didn't even understand how offshore bonds work.
(, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:52, Reply)
Why are you encouraging him?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:54,
Reply)
I spent most of the morning wondering why something wasn't working*Turns out I was connected to a different database to the one I thought I was!! LOL!!!
*mostly engaging in a porn/space film pun-off on facebook.
'Gaylien vs Sexual Predator' was probably the best one someone came up with.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:39,
Reply)
When? I think the last time he was playing was around christmas, if so... yes.I saw John Cooper Clarke in the Lemon Tree last night. His support was good, he was a lot better than expected and tins of red stripe were inexplicably two quid.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:47,
Reply)
wow no way i bet thom yorke remembers you and would love to get back in touch(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:51,
Reply)
I saw my mate do a gig in The Packhorse once.I didn't meet dozer.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:55,
Reply)
Richard mcbeef off of the internet once played a gig at Hulen, after going in up a mountain in a cable car and eating a pint of prawns.(
Peej, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:56,
Reply)
I spent most of the morning working my boss round from "fix this performance issue"to "diagnose this performance issue"
to "get [other team member] to diagnose this performance issue and then raise a new bug for the solution"
to "get [other team member] to diagnose this performance issue and I'll raise a new bug for the solution"
A productive morning.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:08,
Reply)
There is a rumour going round on twitter that gazza has diedsoz i meant christopher lee
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:43,
Reply)
4eva in r frozen cheesecakes :((
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:46,
Reply)
Can you be more specificI only go on /gonewild and /gwcumsluts
(
Peej, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:46,
Reply)
By hilarious, do you mean 'shit' and 'for cunts'?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:47,
Reply)
Please explain this hilarity so we can say it isn't funny, it's merely shit and for cunts.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:48,
Reply)
Reddit has banned a sub with 150k users for harrassment.That sub was /r/fatpeoplehate now there are a lot of posts on /r/all from new subreddits. like /r/pleaseloseweight /r/fatpeopleeat /r/ObesityHealthConcern /r/skinnypeoplehate /r/thinpeoplehate etc etc
(, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:53, Reply)
You're right! That is fucking hilarious!I am going to need to walk to the nearest first aid box to get a sticking plaster for my sides are literally splitting.
(
Peej, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:54,
Reply)
I seem to remember quite liking TAM, but a quick google suggests my taste was poor(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:52,
Reply)
I quite liked that soul band some of them formed afterwards as well(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:56,
Reply)
Mo Solid GoldThey were really popular in Belgium when I was staying in Leuven
(
Peej, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:58,
Reply)
Yeah, themI saw them at Reading one year when my mate dragged me away from ogling PJ Harvey performing in her bra, the stupid prick.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:01,
Reply)
I love Polly and hope to marry her one day.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:05,
Reply)
I only went for one day that year and just my luck it was headlined by TravisI left after Green Day and caught a train back to London
(
Peej, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:06,
Reply)
not the only thing he would "block" if you had your way eh eh eh eh (, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:31, Reply)
Ok, where shall we meet?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:09,
Reply)
Oh none taken, quite understandable.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:17,
Reply)
Yer, I saw them at Cov Poly in the Steve Biko bar and I think I've told you this before.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:57,
Reply)
Can i be smug about going to a festival?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:52,
Reply)
most people at festivals are utter cuntsmake sure you avoid the cunts
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:54,
Reply)
refer to yourself as a 'festie veteran' so it sounds like you've achieved something more profound than watching some bands in a fucking field a few times(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:54,
Reply)
You want to be smug about sleeping in a field,not washing for three days, shitting in a bucket, walking for miles to see/hear less of a shit band than you would if you watched them on tv, and having anything valuable robbed out of your tent while you're out?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:55,
Reply)
I never got anything valuable stolen from my tent because the only thing I take with me is underpants and lager.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:56,
Reply)
I perfected the art of sleeping with my boots sticking out the tent so I didn't have to fuck about with taking them off or putting them on in the morning.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:00,
Reply)
Sounds grim.I perfected the art of earning enough money that I can hire a mobile home or a glam tent.
(, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:06, Reply)
How many festivals have you been to, b3th?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:56,
Reply)
To be fair, none.I'm rather too fond of electricity and plumbing.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:57,
Reply)
The last festival I stayed at had both of those things.And beds.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:59,
Reply)
Fair enough.I'm just trying to be clever and smug about the fact that someone on the internet makes different choices to me.
Apparently, it's what you're meant to do.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:02,
Reply)
It's hilarious! Almost as hilarious as 'reddit'!!!(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:03,
Reply)
I really don't think that is in the spirit of this website, b3th.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:04,
Reply)
If you say that three times in a mirrora vile mean drunk will appear and spout hateful abuse at you.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Jun 2015, 12:57,
Reply)
Imagine if I'd used formal logical expression here to imply that all black people smell. It'd be hilarious but b3ta doesn't support the characters because it was written by pissed chimps.(, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:04, Reply)
I'm on course for having my least productive work day ever. I've literally done nothing work related. I'm pretty smug about that. (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:10,
Reply)
You've had two serious/dull replies already.You're on course to smash McUselessmod's record of three.
(, Thu 11 Jun 2015, 13:12, Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »