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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Here, have a morning thread.

(

wanderlust, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 7:52, 325 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Wahey!
I was waiting for you to do this as I couldn't be bothered really.

Are you well this morning?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 7:54, Reply)

morning PoD!
I'm ok, quite tired though. How's your fine student self?
(

wanderlust, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 7:56, Reply)

My fine student self is also fine
And also tired.

I get to miss my classes today and go on a course about how to use some fancy new computer program, which should be good. Mostly it will be good due to the missing-my-normal-classes thing.

Busy day ahead?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:01, Reply)

Mornin'
Just thought I'd do a bit of last-minute post-whoring (now with added de-RIS in the last replies in case you still don't get it).
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:02, Reply)

Right
I must head off now and go do "dat uni thing". Don't want to be late for this thing.

See y'all later.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:05, Reply)

Bye bye PoD
Enjoy learning stuff.

Ello spak.
(

wanderlust, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:06, Reply)

Bye POD. Enjoy the learning
'ello Lust.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:09, Reply)

Mornin'!
I'm in earlier today. Not sure why, seemed like a good idea at the time...

*yawns*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:16, Reply)

I just read your post
It made my brain hurt a bit.

Hello Lab! *ensnuggles*
(

wanderlust, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:16, Reply)

Morning!
It's quite early and I've already had to clear up dog sick today
:(
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:18, Reply)

*hugs Lusty and Lucy*
Poor LvP! And poor doggy too :(
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:21, Reply)

*hugs all*
He's fine now. He threw up on the front room floor then skipped off to watch the birds in the garden.
I still haven't had breakfast yet though. I think I'll shower first.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:22, Reply)

* kisses Lusty's brain *
Morning Lucy and Labia

* hugs *
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:23, Reply)

Oh, morning Spakka!
How are you today?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:25, Reply)

Gid moaning!
How are we all today? It's a bit dull and dark here in the north this morning. Hope it's nice and bright where you are.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:26, Reply)

Was it something I said?
I seem to have chased you all away.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:37, Reply)

morning K2k6
The 30 seconds of daylight I saw this morning looked quite nice to me.
(

wanderlust, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:37, Reply)

Mornin Kaytoo
Even though I stayed up too late last night, I'm fine thanks. Weather is mostly bright here in West-London. Have decided to go to work earlier so I can leave work early enough to catch the bike-repair shop before it closes.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:39, Reply)

Sunny Stratford
It's a beautiful morning here, crisp but fairly clear skies.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:42, Reply)

Well
It's pretty nice here in Wiltshire too. For once.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:43, Reply)

Just popping in
To say "Good day"

*relurks*
(

Captain V, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:43, Reply)

I seem to have tweaked my back yesterday
and now I'm getting some shooting pains in my abdomen, which happens when my back goes (I don't understand the anatomical reasons why, it just does!)

It's a bit uncomfortable!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:45, Reply)

Morning Cap'n!
Poor K2k6 - I have managed to faff up my left knee and both ankles - damned exercise.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:49, Reply)

k2K6
Would you like me to blow a healing raspberry on your tummy?
(

wanderlust, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:49, Reply)

G'day V
* kisses k2k6's back and abdomen *

* kisses LVP's knee and ankles *

Anyway, I must finish getting dressed and head to the office. Have fun all you day-shift people.

Got a new QOTW to look forward to when I get back. Let's hope it's one about stuff you've invented.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:52, Reply)

*yawns & stretches*
Morning my lovelies. Are you all happy?

I just want to carry on sleeping, but I can't!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:54, Reply)

G'morning Dok!
How are you today?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:57, Reply)

Hi Lab
Tired, in bed by midnight, and awake and full of the joys of Spring at 3ish. It's the first time in ages that's happened to me.

And I set fire to my hand last night.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:00, Reply)

You set fire to your hand?!
By accident, or on purpose?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:01, Reply)

Morning
*hides back under desk*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:02, Reply)

@Lusty
Oh yes, please. Sounds like the very thing.

Spakka helped a bit, although I'm not sure how I feel about blokes kissing my abdomen...

*passes on feelgoods to LVP's knee*
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:02, Reply)

Morning Sam.
*blows healing raspberry on K2k6's tummy*

There, that should make it much better :)
(

wanderlust, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:07, Reply)

Morning Sam!
Sorry to hear about your knee LvP, my left knee usually plays up after vigorous exercise, so I can appreciate your discomfort :(
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:09, Reply)

Purely by accident Lab
It's something I have now added to my things Never To Do. I over filled my zippo, got the fluid on my hand and then lit a smoke!

EDIT Sam, why are you under that table?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:10, Reply)

So nobody can see me
They might ask me to do something, or want to speak to me. I've banned speaking to people for today, and possibly the foreseeable future.

It's alright, quite comfy down here!

Edit: have done that many times with a Zippo, one of the reasons I don't use them any more.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:15, Reply)

Good morning all!
*tries to tempt Sam out with cake* nommy nommy!

It's my last day! I do have to do some work but I have a strict no work before 1030 rules
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:18, Reply)

Sam
It's the first and only time i've done it. Plain stupidity if you ask me, I blame B3ta, I was preoccupied at the time!

Comfy under the table you say, I think I'll stay here in this bed if it's all the same.

EDIT Boo on the last day Badger *hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:18, Reply)

Thanks k2k6
I thought exercise was supposed to be good for you! And here I am, hobbling about like a wooden man.

Edit - I got propositioned by a Polish man whilst I was buying cake yesterday.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:18, Reply)

Morning TGB!
Got anything excited planned for your last day?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:19, Reply)

Dok... is that my bed again!?
Gmail has themes! I have ninja mail now! It makes me far too happy :p

*shares glee with all*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:20, Reply)

*not tempted*
It's far too early in the morning for cake!

You should consider it your right to do no work today, along with sabotaging as many systems as you can, stealing anything valuable and having a shit in the bosses top left desk drawer, where he keeps his special pens.

Dok - bed would be better, sadly I have no more paid sick days left!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:20, Reply)

I like the people here though
I'm not mean enough or feel angry enough against them to do stuff like that. *is nice really*

Lab no plans, maybe the pub at lunchtime.

It's never too early for cake!!!!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:22, Reply)

I set my hand on fire once.
It was rubbish.

I'm tired, stayed up too late doing the comic.
There's some nice feedback so far though!
*grins*
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:23, Reply)

But they're sacking you/making you redundant
Besides, revenge is fun!

Where are these ninja themes of which you speak? I just logged onto my Gmail and can't find them... I did have an email from the Republican party in response to my drunken post-election insults, LOL

Edit: Kaol, the comic is good, will head over to the appropriate thread to leave some feedback. Good day oop north yesterday?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:24, Reply)

Sam
settings - themes

And they didn't want to make me redundant but they had to. They all seemed very upset about it too. It's only a small business that is kinda going under :(
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:26, Reply)

Morning all!
I hope everyone is ok this fine morning! God my shoulders are sore today...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:27, Reply)

Nings
My mong foot is turning black, so I'm trapped at home again today.

Thank god for wasting away the hours here :)
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:30, Reply)

Yes it is Badger
I'm surprised you dodn't notice me last night! I've still not got up, I don't think I'll ever get up, I like it here.

Sam, I'm working from here, well I say working. How about some cool refreshing beer, will that tempt you out?

No it's never to early for cakey goodness.

*looks for cake*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:30, Reply)

I don't have that...
Or I'm tired and it's early and I can't find it.

Is it a separate tab under Settings?

Or have you been shagging Larry Page again?!

Edit: Dok, I've been trying to blag home working for ages and they won't go for it. Sounds like my ideal way of (not) working..

Beer is far more acceptable in the morning than cake!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:31, Reply)

Sam
I can't find it either...
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:32, Reply)

I want ninja Gmail!
It's not fair!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:34, Reply)

Sam,
I just looked and couldn't find it either.
She's talking shit, I think.
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:34, Reply)

It's the
last tab on the settings page.

Although when I logged in I had a nice yellow bar at the top that told me about the themes.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:35, Reply)

Home working
Not me.

I don't have a themes tab on my gmail :(

Here then have beer.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:35, Reply)

Just found out that
I've got to drive to Cumbria and back again tomorrow...
*sighs*
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:36, Reply)

Kaol
Oh good. Can I come? I'm bored.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:36, Reply)

Sorry,
The seat is filled already by my mate.
Plus you can't drive with The Foot Of Doom :(
How's it doing?
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:38, Reply)

Yeah, I usually get the yellow bit telling me about new features
Obviously they haven't enabled it on all of the accounts.

Maybe they're punishing me for using 2GB of my storage space.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:38, Reply)

Hi Drixy
Kaol, that's bone, plain and simply bone!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:38, Reply)

TGB
Would this be the settings bar in your head?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:38, Reply)

See I am not lying
www.b3tards.com/u/14ebb740f3120de4f77d/ninjamail.jpg

You gits

hahahaha good one lab :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:38, Reply)

Kaol
It hurts.
*cries*

Hello Dok!
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:42, Reply)

*jealous*
That's unfair... :(
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:42, Reply)

Aww
Obviously only the super cool people like me and EP get it
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:44, Reply)

*FLOMPS*

Ahoy QOTWOTers!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:45, Reply)

Bone?
What the hell?
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:46, Reply)

Who's EP?
Ahoy Colonel!

Kaol - it's a Geordie word for shite, I believe
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:46, Reply)

Todays OT
is sponsored by the word FLOMP.

How's you Colonel S? *rubs beard*
*glees*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:47, Reply)

EP is my friend
It's short for Evil Pixie. As she is evil and short.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:49, Reply)

Hi Colonel!
I have a headache, time to mug the secretaries for drugs.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:49, Reply)

Lab,
I recommend two stimpacks, a hit of Jet and some Med-X.
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:51, Reply)

Kaol
Bone (informal) - Said of something that is rubbish or broken.

No, not the FLOMP again!

*hides under duvet*

I'm not coming out now!

Hi Colonel!

Badger, you forgot the numbers 6 and 9.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:53, Reply)

Oh...
Bone's rubbish, I don't like it.
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:53, Reply)

I looked it up
and apparently it's propagating across all the Gmail accounts, so we'll have it soon...

Unfair though, I was one of the very first people to sign up for it! *evil looks at TGB*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:54, Reply)

Sam
Maybe it's going alphabeticaly, I've still not go it either!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:55, Reply)

Aww
I was quite early to sign up. EP has a googlemail.com account though! So it must be pretty random

Dok get out of there!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:58, Reply)

Gmail
I was an early adopter too, I demand Ninja Themeness!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 9:59, Reply)

No!
And you can't make me!

Pbththth!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:00, Reply)

Please, please, please
Vote BOAT
(GONEism, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:03, Reply)

Pft
Vote Badger *stabs a few people with pin badges*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:05, Reply)

I have noticed
that badger is slowly climbing in the polls!

EDIT But I find it a bit disturbing that more people like badgers then cock or lady bits.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:07, Reply)

*Votes*
Ha ha! I get it! With the badges, you are the BADGE-ER!

*sigh*
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:08, Reply)

*sighs too*
If you are really good I may come and see that music thingy you are doing on the 6th Colonel S.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:12, Reply)

Morning
Are we already talking about cock and ladybits?

I love it here.
(

scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:19, Reply)

Scarpe
Yes they were mentioned.

Pull up a pew, take the weight off, and have a good time, coz lady bits soothe even the savage beast!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:22, Reply)

Mornin' Blister-Man
How goes it?

I've emailed you a certain special something.

EDIT: Dok, what about a savage gay-man-beast?
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:23, Reply)

Kaol
I'm nearly healed, just have to wait and see if I scar now...

And yeah, I just read it. Good stuff.
(

scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:25, Reply)

Everyone should vote badger
because I have ladybits and a FLOMP and I have no idea what this crap with boats is all about but I doubt it's as much fun as say, watching me jump up and down on a trampoline *jumps*

*waves at Scarpe from the trampoline*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:27, Reply)

Tra-mamp-maline!
I fell off one once.
(

scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:28, Reply)

It's not boat
It's BOAT. And incredibly, it edges out you on a trampoline.

Vote BOAT
(GONEism, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:31, Reply)

Kaol
Maybe, I just don't know any savage gay-man-beasts.

*watches Badger bounce from bed*

*poing*

*poing*

*glees*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:32, Reply)

What a story that scar will have :D
Glad you liked Episode 4!

The first frame from it, minus the text, is now my background on my work computer.
*grins*
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:33, Reply)

I've voted for BOAT
In fact, I BOATed for BOAT.

Can't crowbar it into my username very easily though.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:35, Reply)

Wallpaper
Incredulously, there are rumours that my work wants to introduce a company wallpaper that'll be mandatory for all workstations.

I have compiled a list of my thoughts against such a petty proposal, as I cannot see how they'd be any benefit.

I await the next meeting with caged anger.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:35, Reply)

BOAT of Sam-i-am
Perhaps?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:36, Reply)

@Sam-i-am
We also accept BOAT as a sig. We are non-discriminatory.

BOAT
(GONEism, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:36, Reply)

BOAT
Is a byway open to all traffic. That doesn't sound exciting at all.

My work computer background is the standard dell one. Woo me

*bouncy bouncy bouncy*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:37, Reply)

Lab
Will they lock it down so you can't change it?

This is part of our IT policy (although I'm obviously exempt), I've always thought it was fairly pointless since people had programs open all the time...

Plain black (with a lot of icons) FTW...

@ swordBOATtromBOAT, sig changed!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:38, Reply)

Wallpaper
Mine is http://www.flickr.com/photos/30972882@N05/3001541127/

I'm also thinking of gettimg it as a tattoo.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:41, Reply)

Sam
No details as of yet, they have just said they want it uniform. Nobody will see it, but allowing us to personalise our workstations leads to a more relaxed atmosphere, even if it's only a little.

I don't see how removing this tiny liberty adds anything to the company. It just reeks to me of a middle manager justifying his job by making quantifiable minor changes.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:42, Reply)

Definitely
It's one of the points of our policy I can't see any point in myself. Although it's not nice when people use the shite Windows 98 themes and annoy everyone else with monkey noises every time they close a window etc.

Certain other things, like banning USB drives and CDs, filtering the internet, banning coloured email writing and stationery etc make sense for various reasons, but I've always thought the background thing was petty.

It gives me an extra excuse to be a bastard though, when people have pics of their ugly kids/pet dog/caravan (I kid you not!) and I go and ask them to restore the company one...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:45, Reply)

Do it Dok!
I never got around to playing American McGee's Alice, it came out when I was very skint :(
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:45, Reply)

Lab
Get them to contract me as the desktop-designer :D

I'll make them new ones once a week.
That might just be frames from my comic...
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:45, Reply)

Dok
I'm voting against it. Sorry :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:46, Reply)

I agree Sam
The thing is, we're a small company, largely made up of 'IT Professionals'. I don't mind changes being made, but I hate pointless change that serves no purpose.

Kaol: One sycophantic minion has already knocked up a background for them to use. I can't comment on it, as I'm deeply biased against the change.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:47, Reply)

I actually
want a background now!

Kaol - have you got yours without writing and in any better resolution? I need 2560x1024 for this computer...

Edit: Lab if you're IT professionals then there's no excuse. I only do it to stop the ~~fuckwits~~ users destroying my network, if you know what you're doing it should be fine!

And they should realise that geeks become very cross and mutinous when forced to conform to pointless rules that have no relevance. Hence why nothing is said about the fact I play games all day and ignore everything on the IT policy I wrote, even though I'm supposed to lead by example...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:47, Reply)

Morning All
Damn artifical sweetener!

*pings round room*

*wibbles*
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:48, Reply)

Pickleface!
*huggles*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:50, Reply)

Badgerface!
*somewhat twitchy hugs*

*wibbles again*
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:51, Reply)

Lab & Badger
It's either that or a Phoenix, and I'm leaning towards the later.

Either that or The White Rabbit from the same game, but I can't find any good reference pictures for it!

EDIT Helloooo there Boss.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:52, Reply)

Morning BK!
I fancy getting something tattooed on me but can't decide what. Been thinking for a while.

And this week I will stop procrastinating (since it's relevant) and pierce my ears again.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:54, Reply)

Helllooooo Dok
I'm suddenly away with the fairies:D

*giggles*
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:54, Reply)

Dok
Get all three!

*may be slightly addicted to tattoos*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:54, Reply)

Hmm
depends on the phoenix. Would you get a big colour one?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:55, Reply)

Morning Sam!
I concur with Lab, Dok! get all three!
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:56, Reply)

Sam,
Here you go!
www.b3tards.com/u/33b5702509926c2beff6/rabbits-fire-desktop.jpg
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:57, Reply)

Badger
It wouldn't be too big, but yes it would be in colour.

Lab I could do Alice with the Cheshire Cat, chasing the White Rabbit, right across the top of my back.

EIDT In the poll Badgers have overtaken Nick Griffin. Yay
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:58, Reply)

Cheers man
That makes a wicked background!

PS - if anyone else has two monitors and wants a background which stretches across both, I don't think Windows will do it. You need UltraMon (which has about a billion other useful features, I couldn't face using multi monitors without it)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:00, Reply)

Dok
That sounds like a really cool tattoo! I approve and endorse it :D
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:00, Reply)

I guess most of you are at work
but did anyone just see the guy they interviewed on This Morning?
He was dressed as some kind of fop, and was there to take part in a conversation about prostitutes.
He claims to have slept with other 1000 tarts.
Quote "It's quantity and not quality but it is rather impressive isn't it!"

*edit* he was this cockend - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sebastian_Horsley
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Dok really?
Cool! Next target is byways open to all traffic. Badgers do not like these as big 4x4s can go down them and run over my fellow badgers. :(
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Lab
I may just do that, when I find a good artist, and have the spare cash, but I think the phoenix (and all it symbolises) should be first.

EDIT Hi Mrs Bin, how are you today?

Yes Badger, the BOAT will be caught, and strung up like the devils they are!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Good morning everyone!
I'm in the office today after my day of advantures yesterday, it makes a nice change except for the loud man in the office next door who needs to be stabbed!

*sharpens Stanley Knife*
(bill, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:07, Reply)

Mrs Bin...
Only 1000?

Poor show, that man, jolly poor show!

Everyone knows that killing one is worth ten fuckings.
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:07, Reply)

Hi Bill
Don't do it, not unless you can get away with it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:08, Reply)

Think I've read an article about him before
Looks like a prize prick.

bill - Stanleys are for slashing, not stabbing!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:08, Reply)

I am feeling much better today
I've still not eaten anything though.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:09, Reply)

Oh, hi Mrs Bin!
Still got the monkey AIDS, or a new illness?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:10, Reply)

*waves madly at Bill*
Mrs L! How you feeling today? *hugs*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:11, Reply)

Animal lovers!
Bad news....

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7738933.stm

He's trying to push through some final bastardry before he goes...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:12, Reply)

He's talking loudly, no jury would convict me!
*Waves Madly Back*

*Puts down Stanley and goes to find the letter opener*

Better Sam?
(bill, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:16, Reply)

Not monkey aids anymore Sam
some god awful stomach bug thing.

Everything in my guts wanted out and it didn't care which route it took or for hanging about.

Mr Bin has been sent home poorly too as he thought he might have caught it and he didn't want to pass it around.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:18, Reply)

Give him a Chelsea smile bill
And I will be happy...

Colombian necktie also acceptable.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:18, Reply)

Mrs LiaB
A friend's got that too :( She just got over a nasty cold, and then is hit by a random stomach illness :(
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:21, Reply)

Colombian Necktie it is I think!
That'll keep him quiet!

*Performs Necktying*

*Is detained for questioning*

*Explains to officers about the loud drone like talking*

*Is let off with a warning*

Anyway, now that that's out the way I can go back to being all sweetness and light!
(bill, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:26, Reply)

I really should do some work
I have stuff that really does need doing before I leave *tries to motivate self*

Epic Fail
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:31, Reply)

Poorly Mrs Bin
That sucks! Feel better from the power of *AWESOME HUGS*

Glad you got away with it bill, now come back to the realm of teh fluffeh!

It's even stevens in the poll now, remember your vote counts!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:31, Reply)

Don't do it TGB! Doing any work today would be fail
They should be buying you cakes and beer today, and doing a gold clock presentation, if you're leaving. Can't expect you to do any work!

I still don't have Gmail themes...

And now I have to go and explain to the boss man why I need to spend £5000 on new hard drives *is
a bit scared*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:32, Reply)

I'm managing a break from work
It's been all go this morning. Bloody patents. Why can't we just keep our inventions secret instead? It would be so much easier and cheaper!

*grumbles*
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:32, Reply)

Hi K2
Badger don't leave us for work, I'll cry if you do!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:34, Reply)

Right
I have porridge, lets see how long until I see it again.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:34, Reply)

I'll open a book Mrs B
Within 5 minutes - 3/1
5-10 minutes - 2.5/1
10-20 mins - 4/1
20-40 mins - 5/1
40 mins - 1.5 hours - 6.5/1

Any takers?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:36, Reply)

I'll bet
500 quatloos on the newcomer.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:38, Reply)

Unfortunately
I will have to go again soon.

Like now, in fact.

Bummer.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:38, Reply)

Twenty pence
On "20-40 mins - 5/1".
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:38, Reply)

Duly noted Kaol
Dok - betting is only allowed in real currency. And especially not Star Trek currency (I had to look it up)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:40, Reply)

On the upside
I've lost 3 pounds in one day.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:40, Reply)

I've done that before
I was drunk and the change fell out of my pocket.
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:42, Reply)

Do the times run from
when I started eating or now that I've finished?
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Sam
That is real currency!

OK how about 1 Krugerand?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:47, Reply)

I'll take
20 - 40 mins and 1 of the queens finest

*SIREN SOUNDS*

Uh oh it's bad joke time

Little Boy: "Miss, do you know what a Shitzu is?"
Teacher: "Yes, its a small dog"
Little Boy: "No it ain't, it's a zoo with no animals in it"
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:48, Reply)

Mrs B
From 11.34, the time you posted that you had porridge. I think that's the fairest way.

Dok, I will accept Krugerrand at current gold prices.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:50, Reply)

Limerick Time!
There was once was a fella called Wookiee
Who pined for some deviant nookie
To catcalls and squeals
He minced round in heels
But it never resulted in cookie*

A knife-wielding rogue name of Kaol
Is likely to end up in gaol
His burning desire
To set whores on fire
Means Clendrix is saving for bail

A sexy young lass name of Lusty
Will not like your beard if it's crusty
But if it is neat
And down to your feet
You're on to a winner there - trust me!

*Black-American slang version of the word

Your turn.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:50, Reply)

There once was a b3tan called clendrix
Who spent too long listening to Hendrix
Whilst rocking out
She gave her foot a clout
And is currently off work, and I can't think of a rhyme for the endrix.

(poor, I know)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:53, Reply)

Done, and done Sam
Drixy, brilliant. Now you know you'll have to make them up for the rest of us you know that don't you!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:53, Reply)

Ah, Sam
but I love it :)

Dok - I was hoping you'd all help out!
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:54, Reply)

Clendrix
Those are brilliant :D
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:54, Reply)

Thank you Labs!
I love writing limericks! I like a bit of structure and restraint, me.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:55, Reply)

hmm
There once was a bloke called Lab
Whose attire was seldom drab
His mo used to purr
and everyone did concur
he was a tiny bit awesome and fab

See I am nice :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:58, Reply)

But Drixy honey
I'm shite at writing limericks, trust me on the if nothing else.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:58, Reply)

Clendrix,
You fucking rock!
*grins*
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:59, Reply)

Aww, thanks TGB!
*Feels all warm*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:59, Reply)

*blushes*
It's fun! I'll try some more later.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:01, Reply)

Aw
I want, I want!
(

scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:01, Reply)

:)
There once was a man called Dok
And my room I did forget to lock
So he jumped in my bed
pulled the duvet to his head
Till I chased him out with my glock*

*note how I refrained from the cock route
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:04, Reply)

OK! Listen...
I'll write as many as I can and then stick 'em all up on a new OT thread.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:05, Reply)

Clendrix!
I heart you 100% 4EVA!!!!!!!!!
(

wanderlust, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:06, Reply)

Still no re-show as yet
but there is still time.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:09, Reply)

Yay!
Loved by Lusty!
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:11, Reply)

I used to love the 'Through the Window'
bit on Playschool where they would show you how everton mints are made.

Look - it's how pizzas are made. I love the pepperoni adding machine.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7733602.stm
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:14, Reply)

Kaol, TGB
owe me money!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:19, Reply)

Fine...
*pays 20p in coppers*

If one more person here takes the piss about me hitting that tree, I'm gonna slice some nuts.
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:22, Reply)

*looks down*
*has no nuts*

Ha-ha - Kaol drove into a tree!
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:24, Reply)

Oh...
I meant "people at work" actually :p

You're safe, I could never bring myself to slice you.
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:26, Reply)

Eh? What tree?
*takes coppers*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:26, Reply)

OK its a bad attempt
There was a young lady called Badger
To get home she had to run faster
To Herr Dok in her bed
With a Glock to his head
But he got her back with his dagger.

Yes Badger I noticed that, how restrained of you!

EDIT KAol didn't drive into a tree, the tree too a dislike to his van and keyed it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:27, Reply)

So... Tree story...
So... The satnav told me to go up a long, very steep and narrow road.
That was fine.

It was pissing it down with rain, which was a bit rubbish, visibility was poor.

So, after about a mile, when the concrete of the road abruptly stopped, and was replaced with slippy mud, I didn't see it straight away.

Got the van stuck, miles from anywhere.
I say stuck, the wheels were spinning, and the hill was too steep to keep going up.

So... "Reverse!" I thought...
Is skidded backwards, uncontrollably, kinda diagonally.
Scraped across a tree, from the back bumper to the front one.

Took the wing mirror off, driver's side, and cracked the rear light, plus lots of scraping.
No big deal really... Except I had to reverse a mile down a narrow lane with my head out the window...

Got the mirror "fixed" though, good job I happened to have electrical tape with me.
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:31, Reply)

Kaol...
really? How terribly sweet!
*hugs Kaol*
*will never mention the tree again*
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:32, Reply)

Due to yesterdays poorlyness
and missing the loo, I think I am going to have to throw away all my bogside books. (I don't want to catch this back).
The problem is, is it OK to buy books just to put them in the bathroom?
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:32, Reply)

Satnav fail!
Have to pay a bit more attention to it when driving a van...

(former driver of an XLWB hi roof, which doesn't go everywhere a car will, even though you can drive it on a car license)

Edit: Yes Mrs Bin, definitely. The New Scientist ones are good (Do Penguins Feet Freeze, Does Anything Eat Wasps etc), I have them all in my toilet! Also the Guardian notes & queries one, anything with small sections that you can dip into. Or shit on, whatever floats your boat.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:34, Reply)

Mrs Bin
Print out this thread - you can then wipe your arse on it when you're done.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:34, Reply)

Sam
Does it mean I've won gold yet?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:36, Reply)

Dok
What did you bet on? You just said the newcomer!

I think you may owe me gold before too long...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:37, Reply)

I have made to move to sitting downstairs now
I feel safe enough to be further from the loo.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:40, Reply)

It was the last one,
hence newcomer.

Mrs Bin, could you please be all sicky now, I need some gold. I'll share it with you 80-20 to me.

EDIT Damn I knew I shouldn't have used the power of *AWESOME HUGS*, she's getting better!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:41, Reply)

No interfering Dok!
About 20 mins til you owe me gold.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:45, Reply)

I've got a cup of tea now
does this change things?
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:49, Reply)

Back!
Had a busy hour or two, but have just eaten lunch and feel slightly more human :)
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:03, Reply)

No Mrs Bin
Don't do it! I'll lose all me lucky charms.

/Leprechaun
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:03, Reply)

Did you have a potato Labs?
I think I might get one for my tea.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:04, Reply)

Nope Clendrix
I wanted to, but colleague wanted to go to Somerfield instead, and I was too lazy to go from there to the magic jacket potato shop.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:08, Reply)

Hi Lab
Welcome back. Did you have something nice?

Drixy, get on with the limericks! Please.

*hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:09, Reply)

Dok
I've only written one more :(

I'll do some more later, I promise.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:12, Reply)

OK honey
You take your time.

I'm going to collect them in a document, and use them to make millions when you're famous.

Did you like mine?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:13, Reply)

They've been cooking fish in our canteen.
Now my office smells like mouldy fanny.
*sads*
(

wanderlust, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:14, Reply)

Lusty
That's...disgusting...

And I just ate sushi...
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:15, Reply)

Hi Lusty
That's bad, and that smell gets into everything!

*gets fabreeze*

Sushi, you lucky devil!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:17, Reply)

I did, Dok.
It was...inspirational.

How lovely, Lusty!
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:19, Reply)

Afternoon all
It's the afternoon. Hoorays. That makes it the lunchtimes.

All well here?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:23, Reply)

'Noons All
Brown sauce with pasta is all win!

*noms*
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:23, Reply)

Drixy
You've wrote one about me haven't you!

Go on let me see it, please, I'll give you hugs and beer, not at the same time though!

Hi PoD and Boss.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:24, Reply)

Dok
It's not about you! I'll do your poem later :)
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:25, Reply)

Oh OK Drixy
I'll just have to wait!

*sads*

*cries*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:33, Reply)

@Lusty
Mouldy fanny? Sure that's not just your boss?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:34, Reply)

Just a thought Clendrix
Bill is nice and easy to rhyme with ;-)
(bill, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:38, Reply)

So it is!
*adds Bill to list*
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:39, Reply)

Yay!
I'm on the list, I was feeling a little left out of the listmania recently as I'm not a BNP member!
(bill, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:40, Reply)

Bill
What were you felling?

I forgot to mention earlier, I think I've got a stalker on Warcraft. I helped them out with a couple of things the other day, and now they keeps PMing me. She's(?) even told me her real name(?), age(?), and stuff, and asked me for my A/S/L!

I'm a bit afeared. Heeeelp!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:49, Reply)

Right Dok.
Ready for the next creations?
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:55, Reply)

Ha Ha!
I'm king of the late editing!
(bill, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:56, Reply)

That's what you get for playing Warcraft
*hides*

Looked at that Ion drumkit Dok, it looks ok for the price. The one I have is more expensive buy much better.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:56, Reply)

You go girl!
Yup I'm ready. Hit me with your rhythm stick baby!

EDIT Yeah, but it's for a 10 year old, and he'll get fed up with it after a couple of days.

EDIT 2 you can talk about WoW PoD! But honestly this is the first time it's happened in my 3 years of playing!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:56, Reply)

Aft'rnoon
*looks at time*

3 hours...
Then it's drinking/curry/guitar night!
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:58, Reply)

Next limericks...

A beautiful girl named Ancrenne
Is truly a B3ta doyenne
She wafts through the threads
Like the smell of fresh bread
Enticing us time and again

A charming old codger called Dok
Spends weekends dressed up in a frock
He colours his lips
And wiggles his hips
And we all love him too much to mock
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:58, Reply)

K2k6
The boss isn't here! I'm sure if it was her mouldy fanny I'd have known about it by now. She would have probably whipped it out and made me have a sniff.

Oh God! I've just made myself feel ill.
*cries*
(

wanderlust, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:58, Reply)

@ clendrix
These are fun!

Do me, do me!

I mean a poem

Oh fucking hell, Lusty!

*bokes*
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:59, Reply)

Lunch over
and only 3 hours left....

Dok, that IS what you get for playing Warcraft!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:59, Reply)

@Lusty
Ha ha!

*lablols*

I'm picturing the scene...

*spews*

Edit@clendrix - there are some useful rhymes with 'six'...
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:00, Reply)

K2k6
You're on my list :)
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:03, Reply)

Drixy
More!

More!

More!

Yeah Sam but it stops me being bad to people. I had to logout last night and spend all my time here, due to the constant messages!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:04, Reply)

Mr. K...
You're on my list too :D
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:04, Reply)

Just to annoy the likes of Kaol and Sam
I'm at home having been on my course this morning. Working from here for the rest of the afternoon, or that is the plan anyway.

Take that, office dwellers :P
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:05, Reply)

Well,
I don't like to keep cluttering up the home thread with all this stuff, and I do also need to limp round to the shop in a martyrish way.

I'll work on some later and post a new thread for them tomorrow :)
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:06, Reply)

Booooooo
Drixy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:07, Reply)

I'm annoyed
that the only thing that rhymes with badger is nadger.

I've just got back from the pub and am somewhat drunk. Woooooooooooooooo
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:08, Reply)

Insulting children on teh internet FTW Dok
I got an official warning on a game I play for calling someone a pussy! Turned out he was 12.

In other news, my office just got invaded by about 20 mongs, on some sort of mong school trip to learn about the company or something. Weird!

Edit: tadger! And Bodger is also probably acceptable, cos of the TV series.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:09, Reply)

Now Dok,
do I have to refer you to Kaol for correction?

I will write more, I promise.

Edit: Badger, admittedly you will be more of a challenge, but I shall give it a go.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:09, Reply)

I like being on clendrix's list
although I'm less keen on being on Kaol's.

*worries*

@TGB - tadger? (may be a Scottish expression)

Edit - damn, Sam got there first.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:11, Reply)

Well here's one for you Drixy.
There once was a girl called Drixy
Who looked to incredibly sexy
She went out one night
And got in a fight
Now she’s turned into a piskie
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:11, Reply)

Tadger and nadger
All cock related rhymes :(

I don't even have one *cries*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:12, Reply)

K2k6
Both lists are poetic, but I suspect that Kaol's is rather more artistically final.

Edit: Dok, it's a work of art.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:12, Reply)

Badger
I'm sure you could get one from somewhere. Ask Kaol for a knife! Take a look further up the thread I posted one!

EDIT Thanks Drixy, one tries!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:14, Reply)

Knives!
My knife today is one of these.

It's fuckin' awesome!
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:16, Reply)

Dok
I will give you half points for half rhymes ;p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:18, Reply)

hello again
I'm back!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:22, Reply)

'ning all
I haz teh tireds. I've been awake since 4am, and I'm on a late shift as well.

*nods off*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:23, Reply)

Hello ladies!
*Hugs LvP and HLT*

Both well I hope?

I'm not talking to your boobs, honest!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:26, Reply)

Badger
They are second syllable rhymes actually ;P

Hi Shimmies and Aunty Lucy.

*hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:27, Reply)

Hi Lab
Both I and my boobs are fine thank you!
I've been to college and the gym and am now killing time before going to pick Mr VP up from Bath Spa station for our long weekend together.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:27, Reply)

Looks like a lot of people owe
Sam some money.

Still keeping the contents on my stomach on the inside!
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:27, Reply)

Woo HLT and Lucy!
*huggles*

*talks to their boobs* How are we all?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:28, Reply)

Sounds fun LvP!
See TGB, I'm a gentleman, you're a letch!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:29, Reply)

i wish boobs could talk
What on earth would they say?

I hope it is fun Lab, we're off to visit my sister in Swansea. We're going to have sushi and drink lots. It's going to be ace.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:31, Reply)

*squeezes Lab's manboobs*
honk honk!
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:32, Reply)

LvP
They'd say "Hmmmpf! Uh Rmmahgrr-tmmmpf urr impf raaarrmpf!"*

*Translation: "Help! I'm suffocating in this bra!"

Edit: OI!! TGB!! I don't have moobs!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:34, Reply)

OK
I'l stop the limericks soon. I promise, but here's another two for you!

I met a bloke called K2
Who had to go out for a poo
He sat on the bog
squeezed out a log
And then he did bid me adieu

I once knew a girl named Grammar
Who was made up of all of the glamour
If you told her she's wrong
She would come on all strong
And smash in your head with a spanner!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:39, Reply)

If they could talk
surely it'd be something like
"Go on, motorboat us, you know you want to."

Edit: & Hello!
(bill, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:40, Reply)

Bill
You're a bad man, you know that don't you!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:42, Reply)

bill
I don't think they would. Motorboating is very ticklish.
And an odd thing.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:42, Reply)

hehehhehe
I like that Dok!

And if you say so Lab. I haven't managed to get you to take your shirt off. Yet ;)
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:42, Reply)

LVP
I wouldn't know, I've never motorboated. Or been motorboated for that matter.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:43, Reply)

Lab
You do know that with that comment you've just admitted to having moobs!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:44, Reply)

Lab
Trust me, there is nothing remotely erotic about it. I had a fling with a young Austrian who very much enjoyed it.
I however, did not.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:44, Reply)

I just pretend to be
I've also never participated in a motorboating. I suspect also it'd be far too ticklish at the moment with my competition beard now in full hobo mode!
(bill, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:45, Reply)

Dok
I don't have moobs at all, just saying no one has tried to motorboat me!

*gets defensive about moobs*

LvP, I can see how it might be funny once, but I don't have a burning desire to do it.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:47, Reply)

I've only had it done
by drunk friends in the pub. So it was funny. I can't see it being erotic though.
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:51, Reply)

OK Lab
We believe you, no we do honestly.

And the last one for now,

There once was a young bloke called Kaol
Who like to walk in the dale
He went up to Fife
Where he pulled out his knife
But the police seamed to miss that detail

EDIT I have never or would I motorboat a lady, it would be boorish.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:52, Reply)

In all fairness
I've done it to housemates as well whilst super drunk.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:54, Reply)

LvP
Did you enjoy it?

Edit: Dok, seems we are the gentlemen of OT today!
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:54, Reply)

Yep
Deffo. I'd be a great man.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:55, Reply)

Hi HLT and Aunty Lucy!
They are weird those Austrians. Can't say I've ever been motorboated either, sounds fun though.

Kaol - not bad, not bad... My daily blade is one of these, although mine is the version without the serrated blade. Obviously I also have bigger knives for special duties. Not sure whether it's sad, paranoid or just plain illegal that I take one to my office job....!

@ all those who owe me money - payment by tomorrow please or the boys will be coming round to explain my exorbitant rates of interest in a rather, er, physical fashion. Ta.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:57, Reply)

Hi Sam!
I was proper Aunty Lucy yesterday, I went to see my friend who has a 2 week old baby and a toddler. So I cuddled the baby and had cake and talked about Star Wars with the toddler.
What a good afternoon.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:59, Reply)

Yes Lab
We are, or at least I would be if I wasn't still in bed! ;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:59, Reply)

I'm jealous!
I never had an aunty that talked to me about Star Wars *sads*

Make sure you impress the fact that only pre-1990 Star Wars is acceptable.

I may also be in Swansea this weekend, to warn you before you get accosted by a random hippy in the street claiming you're his aunty.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:00, Reply)

Woo!
A limerick about me. Cool.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:02, Reply)

Woo!
Swansea FTW! Accost away, I don't mind. I'll probably be drunk.

Honestly, I've only ever seen one Star Wars film, and I watched that on Sunday. I kind of just agreed with him a lot about whatever he said. Then we talked about Spongebob. I was on much safer territory there.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:03, Reply)

Which one did you see?
Hopefully you started with A New Hope..

I know what you look like from your profile so will looking for you on the mean streets of Swansea if I do end up going down *evil grin*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:06, Reply)

I can beat you there, Lucy
I've seen the Return of the Jedi too.

Was never much taken up with them though, to be honest. Glad I'm not alone!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:08, Reply)

Yep
A New Hope. It was on on ITV on Sunday so Mr VP sat me down with some cheese and biscuits and instructed me to watch and learn.
I got quite into it actually, I'll hopefully watch the next one this week.

Sam - I'll be with a girl who looks like a skinny version of me. And Mr VP, who is either super beardy, or resembles a tennis ball, depending on his shave cycle. I do believe I've been instructed to shave it all off tonight so he'll prob be in tennis ball mode.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:10, Reply)

It was on ITV?
How did I miss it?

(not that it matters, I have them all on DVD and I hate the remasters anyway)

I'll look out for Aunty Lucy, Aunty Lucy lookalike and a tennis ball then. Should be fairly easy to spot!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:13, Reply)

Yeah
At about 6 it was on. The family film or summat.

We'll stick out like sore thumbs anyway as we're all West Country folk, and you can definitely hear it in our accents!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:16, Reply)

LVP
Would it not have been better to watch it on DVD?
There is hardly a man alive between 25 and 50 who doesn't own them.
Borrow it.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:20, Reply)

Yeah, borrow the DVD
And make sure it's the special edition 2 disc one with the original version on!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:21, Reply)

@Mrs L
So does that make me hardly alive then?
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:21, Reply)

Mrs LiaB
I probably will do. Mr VP owns them on video so that's no use. I only watched it because I was given food and a comfy seat and told to watch it.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:22, Reply)

I do think Sam
that Lucas ensured that they put the worst possible transfer of the originals to prove that he was right.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:22, Reply)

Nope K2
It makes you hardly a man :)

I have fond memories of all of those films, I own them in multiple versions, but I don't actually like them!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:24, Reply)

Mr Bin
has said that we have multiple copies and would you like to borrow them.

*edit* or get the DVDs for Mr LvP for Christmas.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:25, Reply)

What do you mean Mrs Bin?
It's not the transfers I object to, it's all the added CGI and extra scenes. Like Jabba in the spaceport early on in A New Hope, when they first meet Hans Solo. It's not right!

Lucy - any idea which versions? Quite a lot of the VHS are post-1997 remaster as well, from memory they have bigger gold writing on the cases, there was a box set that came out as well to 'celebrate' the remastering.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:25, Reply)

K2K6
I don't own them either...
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:25, Reply)

@Dok
Yeah, me too, I realised about 2 years ago when I watched A New Hope that I had no interest in it whatsoever.

Sad really, I loved it so much growing up.

Edit: Oh, and afternoon all. I've been busy. Stupid job getting in the way of my B3ta time.
(

scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:25, Reply)

Sam
I have NO idea which versions. I normally stop listening to him when it comes to things like videos. Bless him, he can ramble a bit.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:26, Reply)

It's very important though.
I have actually set up two TVs next to each other and run a copy on each, to spot ALL the differences in the remasters

*hangs head in shame*

I've got the remastered box set on VHS, and all the double disc special edition DVDs of the original trilogy, which contain both versions. I also have special edition DVDs of the new trilogy, even though I hate them all, especially the Phantom Menace.

I also have (extra geek points here) the holiday special which I downloaded, since they didn't ever sell it, and Caravan of Courage and the Battle for Endor on VHS which I need to copy to DVD. And a good proportion of the games. Cool eh?

Still haven't seen Clone Wars though, or the other animated stuff.

Edit: Woo, just found out I'm finishing at 4! Scotch and a joint in T-41 minutes...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:30, Reply)

Scarpe
I've never liked them, even way back in 1977 when I was 8 and saw the first one in the Dominion Theatre.

It's just one big cliche, and the story had been done a million time before and since, in every genre you could think of!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:37, Reply)

Oh Shit Sam
the Holiday Special. Fuck that has to be the worst thing ever committed to film.

What I was meaning Sam is that the original versions on the DVD don't upscale and the film quality is very low. It's almost like Lucas was saying 'look how shit they are, now do you see why I had to bugger about with them'.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:37, Reply)

@Dok
Blaming it for having been done a million times 'since' seems a bit harsh ;)
(

scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:38, Reply)

Christ Scarpe
There was a whole slew of crap sci-fi films that can be traced back to those films, and every one of them has the same story!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:40, Reply)

Ah, I see what you mean
Yeah, it's a bit stupid really, if they cleaned all the film for the remaster I don't see why they couldn't recut the original from that film for the DVD. It does look like a print that's been to a million cinemas rather than a master that's been kept under lock and key. But I'll put up with it because it's better anyway!

Holiday special is hideous, granted, but I'm a bit of a completist. It's still better than The Phantom Menace...!

Dok - I'd contend that it was original in a lot of ways - one of the first if not the first sci fi (although I'd even argue with this, I don't strictly think it's a sci fi) films to achieve mainstream box office popularity.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:42, Reply)

Right
I'm off to get lost in Baths horrible traffic system. yukkity.
See you all later!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:42, Reply)

@Lucy
My bath doesn't have traffic.

It just has taps and a drain.

/poor
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:44, Reply)

Sam
OK it was one of the first 'mainstream' sci-fi movies, but that doesn't make it good. It just hit the screens at the right time that's all. People wanted change, and that's what it was.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:47, Reply)

But there are only so many stories
Star Wars - New Hope is the typical Grail Quest story In my opinion.

And anyways Lucas wanted to create a modern myth. The old Wild West films had given children of the 50s a mythology. He wanted to do the same again.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:51, Reply)

Being good is what made it good.
So there.

'Noon all, I appear to be busy today. Again. This job is turning out to be very disappointing. How are you all?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:51, Reply)

Mrs Bin
How right you are, Star Wars was just a western in space.

I'll come down of my high horse now.

Hi Wookie, I'm all good today thanks, you?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:52, Reply)

Exactly!
It's definitely more of a Western than a sci fi, as I alluded to earlier.

Don't see how this is a bad thing though..
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:53, Reply)

Wookiee!
New comic!
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:54, Reply)

But Sam
I hate westerns as well!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:55, Reply)

I've just heard Slade's 'Merry Christmas' song in M&S.
*stabs ears*
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:56, Reply)

Aw Drixy
Don't deafen yourself, it's not that bad you're away from it now!

*hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:58, Reply)

I fucking hate Christmas music
It makes me want to go amok in a town centre with an AK-47 and 10 extra clips.

2 minutes til home, and I've realised that all I've done today is scan a one page document. Which someone else placed in the auto feeder for me, so I didn't even have to get up and go to the scanner. Win!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:58, Reply)

Not bad apart from the busy, Dok.
Kaol, keep 'em coming! My favourite kind of dismembered-bunny-demon is the on fire kind.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:59, Reply)

Just happened upon this picture online: FAIL

(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:01, Reply)

THREAD KILLER!
*shakes fist at picture*
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:14, Reply)

Lucy
That is epic fail! You killed the thread!

EDIT Kaol go there first.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:16, Reply)

Lucy didn't kill the thread.
It was Mrs Bin.

It's getting dark and I'm bored. What shall we talk about?

Kaol, ask us something interesting.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:18, Reply)

Awww dammit,
and I was writing a little thread-killer song for you all.

*saves in Word for next time*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:19, Reply)

Ok...
I'm going to be in the car with my mate for 12 hours tomorrow.

Can anyone think of a good prank to play on him?
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:23, Reply)

I've just been assigned another HUGE case
And unfortunately it's a a horrendous one.

I'll be drinking and cursing a lot over the next month!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:24, Reply)

Do an emergency stop somewhere remote.
Claim you just hit someone. Get out and look for the someone. If you look panicky and shaky enough, he'll think either a) you did hit someone or b) that you really believe you did.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:27, Reply)

@Kaol

You could pretend that you don't know how to read a map, and have to rely on Satnav like a Polish lorry driver, so you get stuck in a narrow road...

oh, wait...

;)
(

scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:28, Reply)

Or I could drive to London
Hunt you down, hand-cuff you to the rear door-handle, and drag you to Cumbria :p

*grins*
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:30, Reply)

It must really get to you Lab
or do you find you can switch off?
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:31, Reply)

Mrs Bin
Some cases get me more than others, but I can switch off. I cope by thinking that if I see nasty stuff in a case, I then have to ascertain how they got there, and then put together as watertight case as I can.

I can tell this recent one's going to be tough, but I'll cope.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:35, Reply)

*kills thread*
*burns corpse*

*snorts remains*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:42, Reply)

Haha!
I'm off at 5:10...
And then I'm off to Cumbria again tomorrow.
So I'll be gone 'til Sunday night.
Hope you don't miss me too much :p
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:45, Reply)

How much
is too much?
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:46, Reply)

Night All
I'm escaping while I can, see you later!
(bill, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:47, Reply)

Suicide-much.
That'd be awful.
(

Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:47, Reply)

Can I feel very sad?
And perhaps pine a bit?

Night Bill!
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:49, Reply)

And I'm off now as well
Via the Offy ;)

See y'all tomorrow!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:51, Reply)

Night Labs
you lovely boy.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 16:52, Reply)

*yawns*
*wanders around kicking thing*
*writes rudery on the walls*

Doesn't anyone do a full day's work anymore?
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 17:04, Reply)

I bloody do.
*grumps*

Couple of hours left yet, I reckon.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 17:07, Reply)

Wookers, you're lovely but
you don't count. You actually do work all day and therefore don't post very much anyway.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 17:09, Reply)

*sighs*
Well, I'm off to do something else then. But I've started a new evening thread too, so do drop in.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 17:33, Reply)

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