b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 355591 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

Thursday's thread!!!
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

How's it going y'all?
EDIT : I'll say hi properly once my night shift is over :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 5:09, 370 replies, latest was 17 years ago)
Hey, Vamp!
I heard today hit beat two records weatherwise in your neck of the world.

If it means anything, it's been cold in California the last 2 days.
(I helped save b3ta! Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 6:21, Reply)
Morning world!
I made good use of a christmas present last night and shaved my head and sculpted a beard. Clippers FTW!

These new clippers, however, must cleverly cut the ends of the hair into ultra-sharp points, as I managed to get THREE little hairs stuck in the skin of my hand.

*minces around while noone's looking*
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 7:21, Reply)
Good Morning!
I have had three days wasted due to courts, and now i have to cram five days work into two days.

My brain knows this is impossible, so isn't even trying.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 8:07, Reply)
Morning Lab!
Makes me happy I've got a simple job, that.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 8:21, Reply)
No3l
I wish it were quieter for me, it's been hectic for the last 12-18 months or so!

Still, at least that gives me job security!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 8:34, Reply)
Oh its's gone all quiet
Morning all you lurkers, post damn you!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:04, Reply)
Yo yo yo
Lab at least you got to go on a jolly to London :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:07, Reply)
morning Dokk!
Badger, I'd hardly call getting 6am trains to London, hanging around in courts, then having to travel home a jolly! I'd much rather have not had to go.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:09, Reply)
Salutations fellow sentients!
This morning I got up, put the recycling out, made sandwiches and still got to work 10 minutes early. I wonder if this has anything to do with being well rested and not hungover?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:09, Reply)
Whatever Lab
I met EP for lunch yesterday, she said she was only bad in your dream because you know she would actually be awesome and you would be the awful one so your subconscious changed it to make you feel better
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:12, Reply)
Woo people
How are you all today?

Me I'm just counting down the time till I go out drinking tomorrow!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:21, Reply)
Badger
I'll never ever kiss EP, so i'll stick to my first conclusion. She's a shit kisser. Really really bad.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:21, Reply)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!
Why are people such fucking retards!

In tesco first some twat tries to take my back end off as I'm reversing out of a space, then this dozy bint tries to turn into the front of my car, despite it clearly being marked as ONE FUCKING WAY! Then she gives this smug look as I rove past and told her to fuck off.

WHY WOULD YOU BE SUCH A CUNT!
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:26, Reply)
Yeah she is
waaaaay out your league.

Hey Dok! And Chains and No31
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:27, Reply)
My one drink last night
turned into a few.

Now my head hurts :(

*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:28, Reply)
Fine!
Don't say hi to me will you TGB. It's not like im already in a bad mood is it.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:30, Reply)
Morning everyone!
How are we all today?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:31, Reply)
Hello
Al, Lusty, Chains, and Sam.

Lab I think thou doth protest too much!

Lusty, hope the head gets better.

*hugs for everybody*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:36, Reply)
Sorry Al
You posted as I was and I didn't see you :( *hugs*

Yo lusty *gentle hugs* and Sam *hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:36, Reply)
Al
I had someone act like a complete twunt to me yesterday in Warwick Parkway carpark. I'm by the exit, in the queue at the lights, with my car directly in front of the bay he's parked in (perpendicular to me). He creeps out of his bay, which is fine, but doesn't stop until he's about an inch or two from the passenger door. I can't go anywhere, as I'm waiting for the lights, but this doesn't stop him from flashing his full beams at me repeatedly and revving his engine.

I hope his beams illuminated me flipping him the bird and mouthing "CUNT!" at him.

Edit: Morning Light, Sam and Lusty!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:39, Reply)
Morning all
It's some sort of weather here today (not entirely sure what kind, as I haven't looked outside yet), and I have the day off uni. I think I'm going to like Thursdays.

Mornings to everyone except al :P
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:40, Reply)
morning kids
how's it going?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:40, Reply)
hey pod, vipros
We have just got massive bacon and sausage rolls nom nom nom!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:43, Reply)
Vipros & PoD
Morning, it's looking like today is going to be as boring as hell.

Who wants to give me a job where I'd actually have to do something?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:44, Reply)
Morning all
Hope you're all well - Lusty I hope your hangover clears soon hehe.

Am aching... I've been trying to get back to my old fitness regieme but my resting pulse is still nowhere near what it was :-(

At least it's not grey and raining today...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:46, Reply)
dok
You can be my butler that would involve a lot of work :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:46, Reply)
I need looking after.
I'm rubbish when I'm hungover.

Oh fuck! I've just seen the texts I sent last night. Whoops!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:48, Reply)
Why can't I have bacon and sausage sarnies

Hmmmm, my laptop has suddenly woken up and started whirring when I should be all shut down. Why did that happen?
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:48, Reply)
Oh I can Butle
How may I serve M'Lady?

/Parker
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:51, Reply)
What did you say lusty?

Where you texting your /talk fancy man?
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:51, Reply)
@al
I don't have /talk man's number. I just stalk him online.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:54, Reply)
Lusty
Drunken texting is the way forward, though I try very hard not to do it now!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:00, Reply)
Been a while
I haven't drunk-texted in ages! I don't know if that's because I'm more reserved, or more of a pussy.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:03, Reply)
I've found
that it almost always causes me problems, very bad problems.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:04, Reply)
Morning all
I've been a bit quiet lately, having been pretty much all over the place.

Got back to the station last night and it seems my car didn't like being left there for a while. It was pretty busy around the car park when I went to leave, but when I started the engine, it went beserk and started revving all over the place. I was having to hold it on the brake to stop it flying away into the queue of traffic in front of me, so I started flashing the guy whose car was immediately in front of mine to alert him. The spiky-haired driver took offence to this and started giving me a two-fingered salute and started mouthing something at me. Bloody Ka drivers...
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:10, Reply)
Morning Ducky!
Some people are so damn rude! You should've rammed him, then punched his face in, the angry gremlincunt!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:12, Reply)
Lab
It was OK. I had the last laugh when I saw his car was pissing oil all over the place. It'll be dead in a few miles I reckon.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:14, Reply)
Good Man Ducky!
Back in a sec, just need to check something ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:18, Reply)
Ducky
I see what you did there.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:21, Reply)
ah drunken texting
Only done it once (that was to a b3tan). Drunken internetz though, I've done that several times (last time was also to a b3tan).
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:23, Reply)
oh and
morning all. You're all the spawn of satan's cockrot in my book.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:24, Reply)
Has anyone seen that programme
Nothing to declare?
Or as my friend Holly calls it, Illegal Dingoes.
It's a fly-on-the-wall documentary about customs in an Australian airport.
They just caught this German guy with 97g of heroin inside him.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:25, Reply)
Fuck off trailprice
Insulting this bunch of cunts is my job
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:27, Reply)
It's been even longer since I did drunken internetz
At least in the flirty-messaging way. Last times I did it, I caused problems I didn't need. Not ruling it out for the future though!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:27, Reply)
Hmm I drunken text all the time
but I guess it doesn't count if it's to your other half :p

Drunken gazzing on the other hand...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:28, Reply)
Morning fuckers
how is everyone?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:30, Reply)
@al
A job you do with all the enthusiasm and competence of a tupenny, ha'penny whore e.g. your mum.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:31, Reply)
drunken
Yeah the last drunken internetz I did was drunken gazzing. Thankfully I think the lady in question is used to it from me by now.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:33, Reply)
miss letters
I'm just grand thanks, and yersel?
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:33, Reply)
Morning Beckyconsonants
*reads last night's thread*

I didn't know you were an Essex girl, what part of Essex are you from?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:34, Reply)
Woo Becky!
How did your arm heal up?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:34, Reply)
Morning Becky Bastardface
How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:38, Reply)
Morning all who've turned up since I last posted!
*hugs badger*

@ rubberduck - you need to get hold of the bloke who designed the gearbox software then, sounds like it's badly written...

Looks like I'm going to have an arsehole of a day today, people keep coming in with niggly little problems that make no sense and are really hard to fix. Joy!

Re. cars, we got my mate's stuck up to the axles in mud the other night after it conked out, we pulled onto the verge to get it restarted and unfortunately the verge was made of 8" deep really soft mud! Had to ring my old man to come and tow us out...!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:40, Reply)
Credit crunchies
Just got out of a meeting with half my team about an upcoming project we'll (this half of the team) be working on in the coming months. What the other half don't seem to have noticed is that there is no work other than this coming up. Oh dear.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:43, Reply)
You'll like this...
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cambridgeshire/7857684.stm
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:47, Reply)
Kaol
Would properly love that!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:50, Reply)
@no3l
I've never been so proud to be a Cambridgian
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:54, Reply)
North Essex, right on the edge of Epping forest PJM
Arm is healing nicely thanks badger, it's gonna scar though :(
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:56, Reply)
According to my medical trivia desk calendar
Women who meet men online are more likely to have sex on the first date. Almost a third of those surveyed reported having vaginal sex on the first date, and 27 percent admitted to oral sex.
The authors of the study postulate that e-mails prior to meeting cultivated accelerated intimacy.
The calendar authors suggest that people who find dates on the internet are gagging for it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:58, Reply)
Light
I have a date lined up with somebody I met on the internet either this weekend or next.

Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:03, Reply)
Is that so Lights?
I can understand the reasoning behind it. Ok, a question for everyone then:

Scenario:

You're single, and you've been chatting with someone of your preferred gender for a while online. You like them, they like you, the chat is getting more flirty, and you decide to meet up. They are sexy, fun and you barely notice the night fly by. You're invited back for coffee, but the glint in their eye suggests you could be in for something sweeter.

Question:

Do you fuck on the first date?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:03, Reply)
Yes.
I'd probably be on it before we got back to her place :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:05, Reply)
Hmm from past experience...
yes.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:06, Reply)
@Lab
Would alcohol be involved?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:07, Reply)
Goodmorning peeps.
@Light in chains - No shit Sherlock.

It is a well know fact that women who pick up guys on the internet are brazen hussies.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:08, Reply)
Lusty
If you wish it to be, the scenario is meant to be 'all boxes ticked' *hurr hurr*, just the final choice is up to you.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:09, Reply)
*waggles eyebrows at TGB*

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:09, Reply)
*winks at No3l*
Why hello there internet stranger ;)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:11, Reply)
*waggles eyebrows at everybody*
.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:11, Reply)
*waggles eyebrows like the kids on the Cadburys advert*
*weirds people out the nation over*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:13, Reply)
*waggles...
*blushes*
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:13, Reply)
Morning all
How be things? I'm hungry... Hmm. Food...
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:13, Reply)
*runs hand up No3l's thigh*

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:14, Reply)
Since I know quite a lot of you are in bands or are DJs or whatnot
If you would like to be considered for playing at a small festival in Hampshire in August, gaz me with details and a place I can listen to some of your tunes.

If you're not musical but fancy pitching in I have plenty of opportunities for site crew, stewarding and first aiders. I am something of a slave driver but you will get two square meals a day and it's the sort of hard work that's a lot of fun!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:16, Reply)
Ahem!
No3L and GB.....shall we leave?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:16, Reply)
Ohh
internetz 3zum. woot!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:17, Reply)
Back when usenet was a going concern
I went to a few uk.singles.personals meets. The regulars on that group mostly hung out there to mock the barely literate ads that got posted so the meets were really just like bashes - people with similar senses of humour meeting in the flesh. But all those people had come to the group in the first place for a reason, and there was much copping off at the end of the night.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:18, Reply)
*giggles*
TGB... not in front of the little ones!
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:24, Reply)
Internet dating
I tried it a while back... I dispute those findings, I wouldn't say that proportion of my internet dates ended up in the sack.

Or maybe I'm just an ugly bastard?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:24, Reply)
Light
That sounds awesome!

First date thing - definitely would. Hell my two best relationships came about because of fucking before our first date.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:25, Reply)
Internet dating?
I actualy tried that. didn't get a date.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:27, Reply)
Ah PJM
Don't be so hard on yourself. I wouldn't say you were a bastard.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:28, Reply)
@Captain V.
I think we can safely say that most men would on a first date : )



I was going to try internet dating a while ago but luckily before I could start joining dating sites I hit it off with someone off the internet anyway. Yay!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:28, Reply)
Captain V
Then good luck for the weekend!
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:29, Reply)
I wouldn't necessarily shag on the first date
Stupid body issues and all that.

Then again, I'm not ruling anything out.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:30, Reply)
Lab
In answer to your question, yes I have done!

Hello again everyone.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:30, Reply)
Hehehehe
With my 'net lady related meetings I excluded anyone who communicated in text speak or who looked like a chav.

God I'm elitist...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:31, Reply)
PJM
Writing in 'txt spk' is a massive turnoff for me. As is using 'lol' like it's punctuation.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:32, Reply)
Lab if we went on a date
I'd jump you at the end of the night ;) And you are all cuddly and lovely *hugs Lab*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:32, Reply)
*agrees with TGB*
Lab would so get it.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:33, Reply)
Thanks for the compliments TGB & Lusty!
*blushes and hugs back*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:34, Reply)
In fact I may
just invite you over to Leam get you drunk and jump you anyways :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:34, Reply)
And not fickle
apparently :-P
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:35, Reply)
Despite my criteria
A few still got through the net...

I did have some laughs though - I actually made quite a few long term friends out of it.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:35, Reply)
No TGB
You won't :p


Edit: PJM, sounds like quite a success then! Maybe, when I'm all grown up and ready, I might turn to the internet for ladies.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:35, Reply)
*sobs*
am I so hideous you don't want me lab? *cries more*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:36, Reply)
PJM
That's not elitist, that's normal. I've found that the majority of people who use 'txt spk' are dumb.

I've only ever had one date with a person I've met on the internet, that is unless you count going out with you lot.

Lab, are you saying that lol isn't punctuation lol

EDIT Bad Lab, you make Badger cry.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:36, Reply)
In my limited experiance
I seemed to mostly get either slightly odd arrogant people or on one occasion someone offering to take their clothes off for me in exchange for me buying her stuff from amazon. Think I'll stick to getting shot down in bars and such from now on!
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:36, Reply)
Herr Dok
Are you saying when you and I met it was a date?

Damn... I'd have made more of an effort to scrub up beforehand, hehe.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:38, Reply)
When rating women on Hot Or Not
I knock points off for txt speak, lack of (or all) capitals, and punctuation abuse.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:38, Reply)
In
my net dating experience, I've been in situations where I could have had a shag on the first date, but I haven't.

That's just not my objective for the evening at all, and it kind of cheapens the experience a bit in my mind. Much, much better to gradually build up the sexual tension to breaking point with someone you've had time to properly get to know ;)

Maybe that goes some way to explaining my pitifully low magic number, but I've never had any sex I've regretted or didn't find mind-blowing either.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:39, Reply)
It was PJM
Didn't you notice me giving you the 'bedroom eyes all day?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:39, Reply)
I like men to have their own teeth and that's pretty much it at weeding out undesirables.
.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:40, Reply)
Herr Dok
I just assumed you had been at the single malt.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:40, Reply)
Duckie duckie duckie
any news on Easter weekend yet? I don't think we should let Lab come he is being mean :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:40, Reply)
*hugs Badger*
Oh hush now :p

Dokk, I hate 'lol', I don't use it even when I actually laugh out loud. Those instances I default to 'haha!' or occasionally 'LMAO!' if I truly reduced to raucous laughter.

Too many people tack 'lol' onto everything.

"I bought some bread lol"

Is your life so pathetic that the act of buying bread makes you burst into uncontrollable laughter?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:42, Reply)
Oh well
You missed your chance there, didn't you!

Good point Ducky.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:43, Reply)
I gauge your laughter
my how many exclamation points you add after haha.

*hugs lab and blows nose on his sleeve*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:44, Reply)
Ducky
That's my view as well, although I imagine that in this age of pre-date emails and texts that the, ahem, buildup can already have taken place!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:44, Reply)
I quite like sex on the first date.
But that's probably just because I'm a slag.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:45, Reply)
TGB
On Easter weekend, I'm still down to be in the UAE.

It's looking less and less likely that I'll be able to wriggle out of it.

Fuckers.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:46, Reply)
Lusty
I would definitley sleep with you on a first date

Duckie that sucks :(
Edinburgh in the Hoggmobile it is then! Lab if you're naughty you're going to find yourself left at a service station somewhere in the middle of nowhere
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:46, Reply)
Lab
True, and that goes some way to explaining the first date tension I had with the current Mrs Duck.

Just because I'm a big tease though, I let the tension build for another few weeks before succumbing to it. Trust me, it's thorougly worth it...
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:48, Reply)
Sex
I can get a good idea of whether or not there is potential with somebody after an evening with them. There's one thing that I wish were easier to find out though: Whether or not somebody is boring in bed.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:48, Reply)
Would you dump someone if
they were fun to be with but shocking in bed?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:50, Reply)
TGB
I actually drove to Edinburgh last Friday from Warwick. It's not a bad drive at all - 3.5hrs to the border, then about an hour and a quarter to Edinburgh.

The A702 is an awesome driving road.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:51, Reply)
Never been in that situation
But I have been put off the idea of getting into a relationship with somebody because they were shocking in bed.

:edit: Amen to the A702 duckie. Probably my favourite road.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:51, Reply)
You can, to a degree,
improve peoples bedroom behaviour. But only to a degree.

I won't be able to make teh edinburgh bash.

Partly due to the credit crunch.

But mainly due to getting engaged, needing to save for the wedding, needing my bathroom redone and needing a new boiler. Plus I owe lots of money for the holiday I just had.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:52, Reply)
I'll be good Badger!
*whispers* we can steal Ducky's car!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:53, Reply)
Hooray for the internet
It took me thirty seconds to determine that the song stuck in my head was The Tunics, "A Winter's Tale".
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:54, Reply)
Al
In my experience that works best when you're exploring new things together otherwise it just feels like you're coercing them into trying stuff. At least in my experience.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:54, Reply)
Sex gets better with someone the better you know them
However, I have dated someone very good looking but terrible in bed. I gave it time to improve but it didn't.

The terrible sex was symptomatic of them being pretty unimaginative and vacant as a person.

I walked.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:55, Reply)
Lab
I must be a sad person, because buying bread makes me laugh, it's the price of the damn stuff you know!

Noooo Ducky, that's not good, we want you to come to the Edinbash!

I'm not boring in bed V. I tell jokes! That is if I'm not using my mouth for something else
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:55, Reply)
^this
:edit: No PJMs post. I'm too slow =[

:edit2: Dok strangely enough I've had sex before where we were sort of having a conversation at the same time. Very strange.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:55, Reply)
V
Did the conversation go:

"Oh yeah, you like that?"
"Hmm, it's ok I guess"
"Oh, well, how about THIS!"
"Better, that's better, but..."
"But...what?"
"Could we try you inside me now?"
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:01, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:03, Reply)
No
It was entirely unrelated to sex. Believe it or not though we did have fantastic sex and lots of it. Perhaps that's how we ended up in conversation - having sex had just become our default state!

:edit: *stops talking about this anymore as he feels like he's looking like he's trying to show off*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:03, Reply)
A conversation at the same time as sex?
That's multi-tasking... What the heck were you talking about?

*thrusts*

How do you fancy Italian tonight?

*thrusts*

Hmm.... Sounds good to me, the place up the road does a great canneloni

*thrusts*

I could go a chinese...

*thrusts*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:04, Reply)
V
Sort of having a converstion, how does that work? Was it one sided?

That's the one Lab, I can honestly say I've never had a conversation like that while having sex!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:04, Reply)
HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Im back from work!

How are you all my lovelies?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:05, Reply)
PJM
I honestly can't remember. It happened on several occasions though. If I'm not mistaken it was going on for a few weeks without us even clocking that it was a bit odd...
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:06, Reply)
@Capt
I wouldn't say it was odd.... I'm impressed.

When I'm entertaining a lady I tend to want to keep my mind focussed on the job so to speak.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:08, Reply)
I gag my men
the less said by them the better.

Hey VC
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:09, Reply)
TGB
now you're talking. Miss.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:10, Reply)
I know what you mean
None of the things that qualify the sex we had as great happened during that period. Wasn't boring though!

:edit: TGB I'm at work and now I'm all flustered !
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:10, Reply)
Was that
the sex or the talking V?

Hi VC had a good day there in the future?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:11, Reply)
TGB
The gag's pretty unnecessary. They can't get a word in edgeways over your constant yakking anyway ;)
(Bert Monkeysex2 loves teh cock, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:12, Reply)
yeah It was okay
Fucking hot though.

And I was stupid enough to eat a Chilli pizza on a dare. it had tiny red chillies chopped up and put on top. Then tabasco sauce. then green chillies chopped up and put on top. and then garnished with persian fetta.

it was FUCKING ACE!!! I won the dare :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:13, Reply)
Dok
I guess the sex wasn't boring because we were talking. Can't remember how good the sex was when we were chatting during it but regardless of whether it was good or bad it couldn't have been boring.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:13, Reply)
Bedtime conversation...
can be an opener to great sex...

Doesn't work the other way though.

*spluffs*

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:13, Reply)
Chilli pizza?
*Drools*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:14, Reply)
TGB
But how do your men whisper suitably dirty sayings to you at the appropriate moment?

Edit: PJM - I've never found that. For some reason, the post-sex haze always makes me really chatty, which is weird because I'm normally a man of few words.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:14, Reply)
they send them via text beforehand
and I read them periodically throughout the sexehtiem
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:15, Reply)
I don't need to duckie
I'm much more primal than that. *growls*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:15, Reply)
I guess I walked in at the wrong time
but I'm going to jump in anyways.

I wouldn't know okay I do but I think sex would be pretty boring if you didn't speak to each other at all.

I mean even if you're whispering sweet nothings in their ears, that's gotta be better then going

*thrust* *thrust* *grunt* *groan* *thrust* *spluffs*
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:17, Reply)
I wondered why I felt strangely drawn to this thread...

Then after a quick read I discover the topic is sex...and talking.

Throw in a pint of cider and a chinese and you have my four favourite things!

I haven't quite mangaged to do all 4 at the same time yet...but a few times in very quick succession...
(I helped save b3ta! Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:18, Reply)
I duno
In my experience non-verbal communication is the best type for sex. Once you get going anyway. A bit of chat in foreplay is alright.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:19, Reply)
Poof!
Long time no see :)

Hmm having sex whilst drinking cider... *makes note*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:20, Reply)
Pooflake
Eat sweet and sour noodles off their naked body?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:22, Reply)
Talking during sex
Wouldn't the following be a turn off though?:

"Are you ok?"
"I'm not hurting you am I?"
"Am I doing it right?"
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:22, Reply)
speaking of Cider
have any of you ever had "Henry of Harcourt" cider (or one of their other kinds of cider known as Perry)????
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:23, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHA
Pooflake came third again!

Scarpes winning story was well deserved though.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:24, Reply)
Also I hear that men don't like
being told to do it harder and faster.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:24, Reply)
Perry
is cider made from pears.

Lethal stuff, sends you blind (probably).
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:24, Reply)
Art' noon
So, it appears that I have missed:
internet dating and the propensity for women who do it to be very accommodating;
shagging on a first date;
conversations during sex;
som,e stuff about the Edinbash, and
txt spk, lol

Yes?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:24, Reply)
Lab
Oh god!

I've had that one before - 'Are you OK? You look like you're in pain...'

It doesn't exactly keep the mood going.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:25, Reply)
"Are you in pain?"
"No, I'm pulling stupid fucking faces because I'm about ready to..."

*Gurns*

*spluff*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:26, Reply)
school days?
*snores*
Haven't we had school related stuff before. School was fucking shit. Oh no wait I got told I was all fat and bloated and had to endure five days of idiots slowly ebbing away at my self confidence until it became so bad I had a breakdown in the kitchen and had to move somewhere else. ha ha fucking ha
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:26, Reply)
TGB
Can't agree with that one.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:26, Reply)
TGB, I don't mind a lady offering encouraging constructive criticism
Hi DG, you've pretty much summed it up!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:28, Reply)
/is sad
I don't want to go back to school.

it's too hot. :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:29, Reply)
Well I didn't say it
I just heard from male friends they didn't like it. *shrugs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:30, Reply)
Oh fuck. Not schooldays
I hated school. Why the fuck would I want to reminisce about being stuck in a room with a bunch of people I fucking despised most of the time, who used to kick the shit out of me whenever or shout stuff at me till I finaly cracked and got sent to the couniceler? Please, anything but school stories.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:31, Reply)
V
I know where you're coming from.

I can honestly say I have never had boring sex, oh and talking while on the job is a prerequisite!

Chilli Pizza VC, Bleurgh, I cant stand chillis on a pizza. Pizza is one of the two things that should remain chilli free, the other is beer.

Perry on the other hand is Full Of Win!

My schooldays were crap, or at least that's how I care to remember them. I was the only Scotsman in my year!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:36, Reply)
@TGB
They also don't like it if you tell them to "Stop being a gay boy and fuck me harder."

Apparently it makes them feel less of a man. :(
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:38, Reply)
haha
I so want to say that now Lusty :p
*evils*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:39, Reply)
Doktor
Normally - I hate spicy food - of any kind.

I just wanted to prove that just cos I don't like it doesn't mean I won't eat it. the two chefs who were working tonight were doubled up in pain but I have iron guts and my tummy didn't hurt once.

And I love Perry. Tis my favourite of ciders.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:39, Reply)
School
Hmm... Mixed experiences really. "shit" and "underachieving".

Why do people who I didn't associate with in a teenager now want to be my "friends" on Facebook? I do wish they'd fuck off large.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:39, Reply)
Because PJM
Facebook is a competition and you need to have the most friends to win so start adding everyone you have ever met, old people you went to school with, your parents friends, the cleaning lady from your job 5 years ago etc etc
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:41, Reply)
I don't mind being told
what to do during sex. What I find difficult is when she expects me to say things. My mind immediately goes blank.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:43, Reply)
And there's also
the fact that most people are cunts in highschool then *some* of them grow up into decent people who feel remorse for their cunty actions.

However I'm going with TGB's suggestion as the most likely :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:43, Reply)
Lusty & Badger
Stop now please, my side are sore and the other people in my office are looking at me funny.

VC, I dring Perry at beer festivals, it makes me go all drunk very quickly. Then I just sit and wibble for a bit, nothing new there then, and start all over again drinking it. I always say that I'm never drinking it again the next day!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:44, Reply)
@Kitty
That's very true. I know of two monumental cunts who've grown out of it an apologised.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:46, Reply)
You just wait until tomorrow VC
you'll be shitting through the eye of a needle and wishing you had put the wet wipes in the fridge.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:46, Reply)
*Waltzes in*
*does victory dance*

*waltzes out*
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:48, Reply)
oh wow
Am I Kitty now??? gosh.

Perry surprisingly doesn't get me that drunk because I have to drink it slowly otherwise I get very wobbly very fast. well okay I guess that's a contradiction - but what I'm saying is I know how to drink it so I dont get myself into trouble.
Vodka on the other hand.... oh the stories I have of me and vodka... i'm slightly ashamed of most of them

EDIT : Al - the reason it didn't hurt is because I drank half a bottle of full cream milk over the course of eating my slices of pizza. so I'm hoping it won't hurt on the way out. It's worked before for me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:48, Reply)
Weirdly I have just remembered
about an "insult off" I once had during sex. Sadly he won by calling me a spunkguzzler which made me dissolve into unconrollable laughter.

TGB recommends laughing during sex.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:53, Reply)
TGB
You win my prize for best sex ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:55, Reply)
You can't be kitty
there is already a kitty on the board and this will get too confusing.

Sorry.

Does anyone else think that "Chad" is a cunt, or is it just me being unreasonable?
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:56, Reply)
Vampy
What about that?

Chad?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:57, Reply)
@Kitty/vampy/etc
Put some loo roll in the fridge overnight.

@TGB that's hilarious... I couldn't keep a straight face in a mid-coitus insult-off.

I remember telling one lady that I needed the loo mid sex. She replied "you can't get up and go just yet". I retorted with "why not, you're in the gents right now!" (true story).

*edit*

Who the heck is "chad"?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:57, Reply)
HI BITCHES!
I had to go to Cambridge this morning.
And now I'm going for lunch.
I'll be back this afternoon.
Thanks for all the comments on the comic :)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:58, Reply)
Never gotten into trouble
because of being drunk. Not ever, not even once!*

Badger you're at it again, sorry got to go, laughing too much.


*May contain traces of lie!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:58, Reply)
thank god
I got confused looking at that - I thought there was another kitty.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:59, Reply)
Clendrix!
*snogs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:59, Reply)
Badger!
*gropes*

I see everything is abnormal on here, as usual.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:02, Reply)
HI Drixy, kaol!
How are you both!

and okay /puts loo roll in the fridge.
I'm sure I'll be fine though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:05, Reply)
alright clendrix
Come here often darlin?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:05, Reply)
I come every time I'm here
:)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:06, Reply)
Chad is a long time member
who suddenly reappeared last week and posted loads and loads about how bad the government was and just generally got a bit annoying, and today he has already posted three not very funny stories.

I just wondered if anyone else had noticed hte proliferation of his posts and thought that he came across as a bit of a twat.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:07, Reply)
drixy
we already knew that.

come over here. australia's a better place to come :p
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:08, Reply)
Well hello there
Drixy, Al, and Kaol.

Vampyrecat, I think I will call you Vamp, just to stop any confusion.

Al, Chad? What on gods green earth are you talking about man?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:08, Reply)
Obviously
Al is talking about Chad.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:11, Reply)
Oh Chad.
I like his eighty-foot penis.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:14, Reply)
Dok
it's all good man.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:14, Reply)
Eight foot penis you say?
www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1257738&id=505412481
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:16, Reply)
I just read Chad's posts in the new QOTW
I was hoping for something terrible, something ire-raising or reaction-provoking.

Nope.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:16, Reply)
Interesting
Despite by as corrupt as Chad, Somalia and Mynnmar, Tonga has 98% literacy.

That shits all over our statistics.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:18, Reply)
My first thought was of
Chad but then I remembered none of you are losers like me who've actually watched High School Musical.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:18, Reply)
I would definitely fuck him

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:21, Reply)
no but don't worry
I watched all the star wars movies in a two day marathon.

so I'm a different kind of loser.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:21, Reply)
I've been meaning to do that VC
Only in the West Country: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/somerset/7857873.stm
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:24, Reply)
I probably shouldn't have said anything
there is nothing really in your face annoying, I've just been developing a slowly growing dislike for the guy since he started ranting last week.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:29, Reply)
V
It's a real life Postman Pat and his black and white cat!

God Star Wars, I really don't want to sit through those films again, but I know I'll have to soon.

The 8' penis makes me giggle, I don't know why it just does.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:30, Reply)
Cap'n!
That's bloody awesome! I love that!
/bookmarks.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:30, Reply)
Bring on the trumpets!
I have jelly snakes and sweets now! nom nom nom
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:41, Reply)
VC
The pussy or my cock?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:42, Reply)
well both
but let's just go with the pussy for now. :)
we can wait until later to go with your cock if you want *wink*
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:43, Reply)
Actually
Tonga is not as corrupt as Chad and Somalia. It's less corrupt than Russia, but more corrupt than Pakistan.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:43, Reply)
VC
Yay!

FWIW I'll be changing that album back to being private some time soon. Just made it public to share with some colleagues that I don't have on facebook and you lot. You're free to go download my cock though.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:45, Reply)
Now now VC
we know you don't swing that way, so don't start getting Captain V's hopes up. He's a sensitive lad and he'll only get upset.

He cried for a month last time lusty gave him a hug.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:46, Reply)
yayness
I made the best of page. Hasn't happened for a while, I thought I was going to have to remove myself from the genepool to be on the safe side.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:48, Reply)
I know what way she swings Al
She only claims swing that way because she doesn't want to upset other boys by letting them know that the only man that can satisfy her is me!*

*May contain traces of truth*

*Weren't expecting that were ya?!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:49, Reply)
Bring on the trumpets!
V, that's OK I'll not download your cock, I don't think it would fit down the intertubes anyway!

Also I saw it earlier, you naughty boy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:49, Reply)
I cried for a month when lusty gave me a hug
Well I say cried I mean masturbated furiously over a photo of her
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:49, Reply)
Hi there.
I'm back now, you can all have a sigh of relief.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:49, Reply)
oh yeah good point
V theres something you should know.
/shuffles foot and looks at ground.

I'm a 5'4 lesbian who is unfortunately not your walk in blow job

I'm sorry!!!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:49, Reply)
@al
He's not the only man I've made cry after a hug.

:(
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:51, Reply)
this thread is depressing me
I have no-one to make sexitime with

*frustrates*

*explodes*

Apologies for the mess

*wipes b3tans down*
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:52, Reply)
VC
I'm shocked and upset.

You're only 5'4"?! That can't be normal!

:edit: Neither do I trial, neither do I =[
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:52, Reply)
Er...
I'd offer, DJ, but I don't wanna face the crushing disappointment of being turned down...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:53, Reply)
Captain V
Sadly I need a facebook login to see your 8 foot cock. And I've never seen the point.
EDIT: of an 8 foot cock that is. Where would you put it?
doesn't see point of facebook either
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:53, Reply)
That might work, not 100% certain though
photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2062/209/124/505412481/n505412481_1257738_7080.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:55, Reply)
DJ
Al's about somewhere, I'm sure he'd like sexytiem!

Lusty, you didn't make me cry.

HeHe walk in blow job, yet another thing to make me laugh in the office.

EDIT Welcome back Kaol.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:56, Reply)
I'm surprised
djtrailprice is a smokin' hot fella. I would have thought the layeez would have been falling over themselves to get at him.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:56, Reply)
I can't look at facebook at work :(
I'm on a jelly sweet high *buzzes around office*

buzzz buzzzzzzzz
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:57, Reply)
sighs
yes it's true. it's all true!

And 5'4 is perfectly normal thank you. it's just on the short side of average. /sniffs.

EDIT: one of the guys at work called me that before he found out I'm apparently a flaming ghey.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:57, Reply)
DJ also has mighty fine thighs
*winks at DJ*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:59, Reply)
clearly the answer is
for myself, al and cap'n v to have a 3 way session followed by fisticuffs: the winner is declared to be officially Not Gay.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:59, Reply)
Mmmmmm
he does doesn't he.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:00, Reply)
I like that suggestion dj

*hopes he'll be declared not gay afterwards*
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:00, Reply)
I have no one either
But, much to the distress of my parents, I don't really care at the moment.

I have my health, my mind, and some great friends. That's enough for me.

Sorry:

health penis
mind spankbank
friends prolapse-inducing rubber cocks
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:01, Reply)
well at least
you're happy. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:01, Reply)
Al
I'll just beat you both up afterwards to become the ultimate not gay person who had sex with men but is not gay.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:03, Reply)
funniest thing
I've read today
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:07, Reply)
glad the suggestion is appealing
I got the idea from Captain V's sig thing (I might have to buy that t-shirt).

If my thighs are getting so much attention I might have to attend the next bash in shorts... maybe my kilt even.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:05, Reply)
Hmmm...
I worry about you, V.

Also, I don't think you'd be able to beat me up afterwards, if we were to have intimate liaisons... Which could be a problem for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:05, Reply)
Lab
Al and V may help instead of the prolapse-inducing rubber cocks.

Vamp, so your flaming? Is that like Ghost Rider?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:06, Reply)
I knew stopping jiu jitsu was a bad idea

(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:06, Reply)
I'm sorry
but the idea of Captain V being able to take anybody in an actual fight has quite amused me!
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:07, Reply)
Kaol
I thought that the two of you had had intimate relations already, hence V being in the family way with your child?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:07, Reply)
Dok
But... that'd be homosexual, and I don't like men in that way. They all smell and are ugly and hairy and mean.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:07, Reply)
ahah
well I'm pretty open about myself.
I don't see the point in lying - i am who I am and if people don't like it then they're probably not worth my time anyway! :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:11, Reply)
@dj
You have to come to my leaving bash in a kilt.

*rubs thighs*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:12, Reply)
I'm tempted
To go to the Edinburger bash in a kilt, so long as a 'no kilt-lifting' truce is firmly established!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:14, Reply)
Afternoon Oat ears!
Been a while since I dropped by to say hullo. Glad to see that the tone was well and truely lowered before I'd even arrived. How kind...

I trust you are all well?
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:14, Reply)
@lusty
Hmmmmm, I don't know. Last time I wore it in public south of the border I got assaulted. Violated even. And not in a good way, by a complete stranger.





I'm not convincing anyone here am I?

EDIT: yes, I am a supporter of Lab's no lifting truce - that needs to be instantiated!
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:15, Reply)
So...
On a non-sexual note, this afternoon I'm eating throat-sweets and listening to Iron Maiden.
What're you guys listening to today?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:16, Reply)
yup yup
all's well here. how about yourself? I don't believe we've met. I'm vamp. :)

EDIT : Kaol - I'm eating chocolate and listening to Missy Higgins. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:16, Reply)
Hello Colonel!
Kaol, I've been listening to random songs, and now i've switched to my 'Awesome' playlist. Current song is One Minute Silence - Pig until proven Cop
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:18, Reply)
I have no idea who
Missy Higgins is.
Sounds like a tennis player!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:18, Reply)
I'm listening to Triple J
The best radio station in australia. Whats good is that because I'm listening to it in the middle of the night, you actually hear better music than the stuff that gets played during the day.

I'm considering eating an orange, but i've ben biting my nails and peeling will be tricky. Plus it's gone a bit soft.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:18, Reply)
Lab
That's never going to happen. There will be much kilt lifting, it's the shirt lifting I'm worried about!

Vamp, I'm the same, there is no point in pretending to be something you're not in order to get people to like you.

EDIT Kaol, I'm not listening to anything.

*cries*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:18, Reply)
Missy HIggins is brilliant
I've heard she's also a big gaybo now. Is that true?
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:20, Reply)
Hey Lab!
How tricks?
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:20, Reply)
I pretend to be a geordie
so people will like me.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:21, Reply)
ahah I dunno
I think she's bisexual.

either way her voice is husky and sexy and I fucking loves it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:21, Reply)
I'm alreet thanks Colonel
How are you? Been up to owt interesting?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:23, Reply)
I'm still here
I'm just not prancing around in my "I'm not gay" t-shirt.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:27, Reply)
I can't listen to music
And browse OT on my phone at the same time. Unless I use the built-in browser but it's awful.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:28, Reply)
The Light In Chains
You need some RAMMAGE my dear boy.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:28, Reply)
Nowt much,
although it transpires I'll be moving back daahn saahf in a couple of months (at least 6 months before I wanted to...) No more manchester for me...
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:30, Reply)
Where abouts down south Colonel?
And hello!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:43, Reply)
Ethel
What's RAMMAGE?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:49, Reply)
Chains
I think he means memory.

Colonel, you're coming bach down here then, when & where?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:52, Reply)
RAM
Random Access Memory.
it's what allows your pc/laptop to watch movies/play games/listen to music.
Basically the more ram the better it runs.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:52, Reply)
Hey TGB/Dok
I'll be moving back to Bristol at the end of April by the looks of things... They guys in my band (who I also live with) have decided that they want to move back there, so I have little choice if I'm to keep the band going.

:(

The good news is that Senorita Santiago lives there so I get more frequent sexehteims

:)
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:00, Reply)
Woo
My geekiness has ventriloquism also!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:00, Reply)
@Colonel S haha
I am sure she would love knowing she was also named after your friends cock :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:02, Reply)
hey ethel!
get your hand out of my butt! i DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR VENTRILOQUISM PUPPET ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:03, Reply)
Colonel
Well at least something good would come of it.

Red, I just thought it was wierd that Vamp and myself responded to it at the same time. Great minds and all that jazz!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:04, Reply)
Difficult to add RAM
To a mobile phone.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:06, Reply)
She wouldn't mind*,
it certainly was/presumably still is, a magnificent piece of human biology!

*not that I'm planning on telling her!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:07, Reply)
Herr
I have two hands ;)

LiC

True. What one is it?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:08, Reply)
And I was quite
enjoying being manipulated Red.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:11, Reply)
LG Viewty
I quite like it now I have Opera Mini and an 8 Gb card with my tunes on. But the software won't allow music at the same time as a 3rd party app (the browser).
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:18, Reply)
i'm not
let me goooooooooo.

DOKTOR! SAVE ME!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:21, Reply)
I'm at work so can't look....
but is there a porno called Robocock because if not I am going to make it as I have just found a stupid amount of tinfoil ina cupboard
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:22, Reply)
Make me a tinfoil suit!
GO!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:23, Reply)
so you can be
the shiniest serial killer in all the land?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:24, Reply)
Probably TGB
I know Anne Summers used to do a chrome marital aid called 'Robocock'.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:25, Reply)
"marital aid"
Sounds so much more civilised than "big shiny dildo"
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:27, Reply)
Yeah.
Plus I could clean the blood off by going through a car-wash.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:29, Reply)
I'm sure there is already a Robocock...
I may even have seen it but memory fails me yet again...
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:30, Reply)
Afternoon all
you know they have a chrome Rampant rabbit now too?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:32, Reply)
*pulls Reds hand out of Vamps bottom*
There you go M'Lady.

Shiny Kaol, that just brings thought of Dr Who and Blakes 7 to my mind.

Lab why where you looking at big shiny dildos?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:32, Reply)
Kaol
when you've done that - you can put a potato in it and bake it too!
WIN!

EDIT: Thank you doktor!!!! Much obliged!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:34, Reply)
A chrome one? oooooh
I have a purple one :D
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:34, Reply)
Question is Dok
Why weren't you?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:34, Reply)
Lab
was looking at them when we were discussing which new one I should get :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:36, Reply)
Maybe
Because I have I big shiny nob?

Dildos amaze me, I've seen them with lights and things in them, why? It's not like anybody can see then when they are in use!

I've also been dragged round an erotic fair by a friend so that I could give her advice on which one to buy!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:37, Reply)
Hactually
It was way before then, don't know if they still sell them.

And no, I'm not going to check.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:38, Reply)
I bet you'll look later
I'm going to text you repeatedly later until you do
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:39, Reply)
Fine
I'll check when I'm at home!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:39, Reply)
Dildos
I thing that the big glass ones look kinda cool!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:42, Reply)
I bought a friend a robo cock for her 16th
Her Mum was disappointed for her on the grounds of it "being a bit small"
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:42, Reply)
I seem to remember them being small
Well, small compared to your average dildo*

*14" long, in case you're wondering.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:43, Reply)
I swear
That's a lot bigger than the typical size of an Ann Summers' dildo. I think the robo cock was pretty much the size of a typical fleshy cock.

Their other dildos, iirc, are usually between 8" and 12"
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:44, Reply)
Yes V
I was exaggerating for comedy purposes.

However, I'm willing to bet that the average dildo length is longer than the average penis length.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:45, Reply)
Ah right
Well the actual size of them is significantly but the useable size generally seems to be within the realms of possibility even if it is a bit larger smaller than you'd find in my trousers.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:47, Reply)
@ Dok
I always wondered about the ones with lights in... I mean, with all the in, out, in, out, wouldn't it be really bad for and epileptic?!

Same goes for glow in the dark condoms...
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:47, Reply)
The actual
penetration length tends to fall between 5 and 8" for vibrators. Dildos tend to have much longer insertion lengths, with some up to a scary 12"!. I think that one was called the big dong or some such. It was slightly scary looking.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:50, Reply)
Colonel
I've never thought about it in that way, And some of them even flash?

OK Ladies, tell us, what is the attraction of dildos with lights and other strange attachment?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:50, Reply)
Willy sized
you know you can get a kit and model it on a real life penis! I'm not sure about putting in lights and making it move though... :/
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:50, Reply)
TGB
Has given me and Lab a good trumping (snigger) on female sex toy knowledge it seems.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:51, Reply)
I'd be willing to model for one of those
mold your own willy things. I've not met anyone that wants one yet though.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:52, Reply)
Lights seem a bit pointless
Mine has a fantastic ripple effect that goes up and down the shaft and it's all about the little rabbit ears that hit the clit *drifts off happily*

V your homework is to read up more on dildos and vibrators
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:52, Reply)
lights
It has to be pretty, to detract from the fact that its just an 8/14 inch peice of plastic your putyting into yourself! Hahaha!
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:52, Reply)
Weekrist
That would be Life Casting, I've been looking it up today for different reasons. The final cast would be in some kind of silicon though, not plaster.

Well unless you liked it rough.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:53, Reply)
I've always fancied modeling my own willy
And using it as a paperweight or something. Couldn't really use it at work though and I don't have much paper at home.

Any other suggestions for what I could use it for?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:53, Reply)
V
You could anally pleasure youreslf with it!

Having never put anything plastic into myself, in that way, I wouldn't know about being distracted.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:55, Reply)
a door stop?

anywho I'm off to bed you group of poptarts!

toodle pip!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:55, Reply)
Coming soon to MTV
Pimp My Cock!

Watch as Xzibit makes some lucky students dreams come true as the boys from West Coast Customs transform their boring bone into a pimpin' pole!

Highlights from Season One include:

* Go faster stripes!
* Spinners!
* Embedded flat screen televisions!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:55, Reply)
Spinners
would add a dangerous twist to blowjobs.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:57, Reply)
Night Vamp
Oh the TV sounds like fun, put it right at the base and you could watch porn while getting a blow job.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:57, Reply)
Lab
That's genius.

Dok, the idea of anally pleasuring myself with my own cock confuses me. I think a doorstop is a much better idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:58, Reply)
V
A bottle stop.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:59, Reply)
You're gonna shaft yourself with a doorstep?
*shakes head slowly*

Strange boy...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:59, Reply)
Kaol
You're a bad man. Office lolling isn't good.

:edit: And fuck you and your insults to my tackle Clenders! *scowls*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:00, Reply)
V
It would be a rubber imitation of your own cock.

Hi Drixy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:00, Reply)
Clendrix
You win my Post Of The Day Award for making me laugh like a mong.
Well done :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:01, Reply)
An award from Kaol
A hello from Dok
A 'fuck you' from V

*happies*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:02, Reply)
Dok
It's more the principles of it than the practicalities.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:02, Reply)
And have a motorboating from me!
*motorboats*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:04, Reply)
Well V...
Would you rather it was your own, or mine?
It's all about perspective.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:05, Reply)
*glees*
This is great :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:06, Reply)
V
At least you'd know where it had been!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:08, Reply)
Hmmmm
I suppose it'd be nice to know what it feels like to have me inside you.

I'll have to think about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:08, Reply)
It'd be great having a cast of your willy
instead of a handle on each of the doors in your house... You could invite friends over and watch them feel dirty when they try to leave :D
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:11, Reply)
Not really V
There is a completely different set of sensation involved.

Or so I've been told!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:11, Reply)
I so want to so that now
*dreams of all the cool things his house will have*

:edit: Dok that's what I've heard too but that's usually comparing vibrator to penis rather than penis to moulding of same penis. I think we need empirical tests. Who wants to sleep with me and then try out a dildo shaped like my cock?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:11, Reply)
Hey look you two
If V bothers coming to my birthday *sobs* there better not be any funny business on the sofa bed!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:11, Reply)
Ok...
I've been a little bit sick in my mouth.
Let's change the subject.
Er...

What's everyone up to tonight?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:12, Reply)
Kaol
Tonight I'll have wood! In my hands!

EDIT V not me!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:13, Reply)
@ Kaol
I may mold* my penis.

More likely to mould my penis though.

(Edit: I'm not going to change it but it appears I have spelling fail. Not sure if I make sense or sound like a babbling fool now though)
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:14, Reply)
TGB
I'm almost certainly coming. I'll probably attend your birthday too - I really doubt we'll get another skiing trip organised mostly because I'm the driving force in getting anything done and I've too much else to do at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:15, Reply)
oh so I'm second choice am I
the easy option! *sulks*

Wait... did I just call myself easy...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:16, Reply)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:17, Reply)
Well I guess I Am really
*winks at V, gropes his moulding*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:17, Reply)
*sighs*
There shall be no "funny business".
He might cry a lot, but no laughing, I assure you.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:18, Reply)
Yes Badger
Yes you did, you silly Mustelid.

OK folks see you later I'm going home.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:18, Reply)
Kaol
I didn't think we were going to tell anybody that I cry after sex! *sads*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:19, Reply)
Shut your mouth.
*slaps*

EDIT: That should sound like "Shart yer maaaaaaaf".
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:21, Reply)
*enjoys*
*ejaculates*

*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:22, Reply)
*points and laughs*

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:23, Reply)
Guitar lesson tonight!
*scareds*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:26, Reply)
Oooh,
Guitar lesson!
Cool :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:31, Reply)
*plays air guitar*
*rocks out*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:38, Reply)
At least the litttle teaching man can't laugh at me.
If he does, I can switch him off.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:43, Reply)
has everyone
gone home except you and me Clendrix? *waggles eyebrows*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:52, Reply)
Oh hurray!
That's got rid of those twats.
Let's get up to mischief.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:52, Reply)
I've made some candles
from wax moulds of V's penis. They should give at least 10 minutes worth of light...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:55, Reply)
Oh, fuck you!
I'm here 'til six.
*frowns*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:55, Reply)
TGB
Damn you badger. So mean =[
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:58, Reply)
Oops!
Hello twat darling :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:58, Reply)
I'm sorry V
I promise I'll make it up to you
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:59, Reply)
*sighs*
If only I wasn't secretly in love with you...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:59, Reply)
If only, eh?
*sighs*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 17:00, Reply)
Thank you badger
*is excited about something secret*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 17:01, Reply)
Clendrix
I'm openly in love with you *snogs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 17:01, Reply)
Openness and Secrets!
*glees*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 17:04, Reply)
We have just been watching
some weird thing on youtube about the junior christian bible group or some such. It was weird. *scared*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 17:14, Reply)
Have you seen the footage
of those two criminals handcuffed together and running away from plod?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 17:16, Reply)
Is that the one with the lamppost?
*giggles*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 17:18, Reply)
woo hometime
see you later my sexy b3tan lovelies :)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 17:18, Reply)
Yes...
Byeeeeeeeeee!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 17:19, Reply)
Ah!
The lamp post!
I loved that :D

EDIT: Oh fine, leave me here on my own then, in the cold. FINE.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 17:21, Reply)
I'm here.
*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 17:26, Reply)
Oh, ok then!
So... When you here 'til?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 17:27, Reply)
Dunno...
when I send myself home.

Might stay til 6pm.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 17:29, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1