Monday Thread


My work-life balance has too much work in it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 7:49, 113 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So does mine
I've worked all weekend and I'm back there now.

Morning arse fuckers.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 8:23, Reply)

howdy cunts
I just went for a run and so am all hot and sweaty but feeling good - haven't gone for a run in ages.

Now on to homework!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 8:25, Reply)

Morning LiC, Becky
I read in a paper the other day a suggestion that the whole world should move to a two day week. Then we'd have more leisure time, and would produce stuff at a much lower rate so our global carbon emissions would reduce and we'd all live happily ever after.

I don't think it would really work, but I'd be willing to give it a go. For the same salary, of course.

Edit - and hello to you too V-cat.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 8:27, Reply)

morning K2
sounds like a good plan to me!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 8:30, Reply)

Morning you Twinkies!
K2 that sounds like a real good plan, when's the trial run?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 8:36, Reply)

The problem with the two day working week plan
is these countries with their work ethics which wouldn't allow them to work so little as it would be dishonourable or something.

So they'd be producing at a huge rate compared to the likes of the UK, which I'm sure would be quite happy to sit on its collective arse for 5/7 of the time (plus holidays, of course). So the plan would only work if everyone obeyed the rules. And that would require some sort of UN resolution or the like. And enforcement of sorts.

Damn.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 8:41, Reply)

it's amazing
how virtuous I feel after running. Normally I am very lazy but now I feel like I can tackle anything :D

How are you Dok? /huggles
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 8:48, Reply)

Well K2
Vote me into power, I'll make it happen!

Vampy, I'm a bit sad due to the fact that I couldn't go to Badgers bash on Saturday :( But other than that I'm OK, spending four days with my girlfriend at the end of the week :)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 8:51, Reply)

Dok Minge, you'd have to be
President of the United States and Kingdoms of Earth.

Think you could handle it?

Remember though - no dodgy claims for second houses, just because you're looking in to see your parents from time to time.

/topical
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 8:54, Reply)

omg I need to get my mind out of the gutter
I read that as "no Doggy claims"
and then wondered why you'd want to claim a dog.

And then my mind went horrible and now I need alcohol to drown out the images.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 8:57, Reply)

Doggy
only means one thing to me... :-)



It's an affectionate term for a domesticated canine. What did you think I meant?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:05, Reply)

K2
I think I can handle that, I'm a well balance person, I can handle anyoneanything.

Pinpage My story about god.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:06, Reply)

Pssst!
Dok!

"band" banned
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:08, Reply)

K2
lets not go into what I thought you meant.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:08, Reply)

Pssst Kaol
Pun.

How was the bash?

EDIT Vampy, I think I know what you meant.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:10, Reply)

Moaning bitches
How we diddlin'?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:10, Reply)

@V-cat
Given that you are not a lover of teh cock, it's not really an issue! :-)

I must go and work now, peoples. See you all later.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:12, Reply)

Is it?
Oh!
Haha!

The bash was fun, lots of drinking, but everyone was on pretty good behaviour.
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:12, Reply)

Morning Red
I'm not diddling, that's for the weekend.

Pssst Kaol, changed anyway.

EDIT Good behaviour, I don't believe that!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:13, Reply)

Also
pinpage pimpage
Pin page is what I do to get people on the b3tamap.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:14, Reply)

Or Lights
You stick your pin in my 'I like this'.

Now everybody stop it, it's Monday morning and I've had very little sexsleep.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:16, Reply)

Morning all
My weekend was excellent. I kicked arse at mario kart and now own some Tesco value aviators that make me look cool.
( Captain V, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:21, Reply)

Morning
What are Jade Goody's kids getting for Easter?






Their inheritance.
(username1, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:23, Reply)

TVA's for the win!
Haha!
Style over being able to see.
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:24, Reply)

And on a more serious note
Doesn't Gordon Brown have some slightly more pressing issues to attend to (like, y'know, running a country) than whoring himself for publicity over the death of a D-list celebrity?
(username1, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:24, Reply)

As well as
conversation over giving a shit what direction you're driving in!
( Captain V, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:26, Reply)

I heard
you had your face drawn on in your sleep in permanent marker - that true?

Dok - i'll stop when you do :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:27, Reply)

V
How permanent is permanent?

VC - he was fully awake.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Morning everyone!
I hope you all had a smashing weekend. Mine was practical but unfulfilling (sp?).
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Vampy
Well I'll stop when you do.

I only stop when the ladies ask me ;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:29, Reply)

Morning Captain Catface
Did you get your username back then?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:30, Reply)

Lmao
Dok - I'll stop when everyone else does.

EDIT: guess he did Lic
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:34, Reply)

VC
Duckie is right - I was awake at the time and not even all that pissed...

@Duckie It came off pretty easily actually. It was harder to get it off my arms than my face (although I forgot to wash the cock off).

I looked a bit special Saturday night.

:edit: @LiC Yep, Kaol got bored of having it.
( Captain V, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:36, Reply)

Haha!
"black pen spawned out of nowhere"?
My damn pocket, thank-you-very-much.
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:38, Reply)

aha
I love that photo! it's fantastic!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:38, Reply)

V
Yes you do look a bit special in that picture.

Well Vampy I don't think I'll ever stop then!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:39, Reply)

Top tip
You want nail varnish remover, or acetone, to remove permanent marker from skin.

Much less painful than scrubbing it with a nail brush or something ;)

*has been drawn on far too many times*
(username1, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:39, Reply)

OR
spray Hairspray onto it - it'll thin the ink right out and then you can wipe it off and sculpt your arm hair.

could almost become a new fashion industry - sculpted arm hair.

dok - I think someone might get jealous
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:41, Reply)

Fortunately it came off as easily as a mild scrubbing with a flanel
I'm glad I hadn't been drawn on with the dyes they use for slides like the retard that was on Kaol's degree course. He had a cock on his arm for a month or something...
( Captain V, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:41, Reply)

Yeah V
That would have been retarbed!

Vampy, who? Why?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Yes!
A guy on my course was in a practical with me, and decided to draw a CDC on his arm. With Carbol Fuchsin stain. Which soaks into the actual cells.

Yep, he had a cock on his arm for a couple of months.
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:46, Reply)

I sprayed someone's hair with tarmac marking paint once
They couldn't wash it out so had to shave their hair off. At which point they discovered their entire scalp was dyed yellow.

Stayed yellow for quite a while as well. Turns out it's fairly permanent stuff, fuck knows what the chemicals did to their brain!
(username1, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Awww
I just got a call from the vet I worked with yesterday and she said she thinks I coped really well working in the hospital and I'm awesome :) We had to seperate some kittens who were all joined together still by the umbilical cord 3 days after birth. Some are going to make it, others not so much :(

How nice is that!
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Morning all...
Blimey, it's busy this morning. The civil servants must be in extra clueless mode today.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:50, Reply)

Hi Becky
That's very nice, a heartwarming story, I like that. :)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:50, Reply)

wow
I think the worst I've ever had was these special inks I was using in art for my manga - they stained my hands so badly I had rainbow hands for a month!

EDIT: aww becks, that's luffly. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Vampy
You should have drank them, then you could have poopped a rainbow.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 9:57, Reply)

how do you know I didn't Dok?
ey?

for the record I actually didn't drink them at all.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Am I reading it wrong
Or are several people quite pleased that not all of the kittens are going to make it?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Haha!
I kinda am.
Natural selection.
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:08, Reply)

Chains
No we're please that some of them will make it. Dead kittums make me sads :(
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:08, Reply)

Gargh no
course not.

I'm studying and skim reading between chapters.

Missed the bit about dead kittums. :(

/prepares state funeral.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Dear Off Topic,
Tell me about Bristol.
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:13, Reply)

Kaol
It's hell on earth.

They talk with a funny accent there!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Oh :(
That's not the kinda thing I wanted to hear...

Anything good about it?
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:19, Reply)

Bristol's really nice, ignore Dok
What did you want to know? I lived there for a bit a few years ago.
(username1, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:22, Reply)

Well, I'm
Looking at going back to uni, and Bristol University does the course I wanna do.

So just wondering "what it's like" as a town, really! I've never been there, so thought I'd try and find out from you guys.
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:26, Reply)

The SS Great Britian?
I didn't get arrested walking through the docks dressed as a WWII German Para carrying a bayonet and an unloaded P38.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:27, Reply)

It's a nice town
Bristol Uni has slightly too many posh cunts, but a lot of good unis are like that so I wouldn't let it put you off.

As for the city, I really like it: friendly locals, good and varied nightlife and culture in general, easy to get about, fairly cheap taxis compared to a lot of cities, close to the countryside if you want to get out for a day. And the weather seems to be usually pretty good.

I'm actually thinking of moving back there myself at the moment!
(username1, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:30, Reply)

You must be very strong Dok
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P-38_Lightning
( Captain V, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:30, Reply)

I had a dream yesterday.
I was in a room with lots of B3tans playing music and they wouldn't let me put my music on.

Kaol came over and kissed me on the forehead in a brotherly way. It was lovely : )
( girlinthehole, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:33, Reply)

Hey BGB
11months...pregnant?
( Captain V, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:34, Reply)

@Captain.
Nooooooo!

Forced celibacy.
( girlinthehole, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:35, Reply)

Is that like forced rhubarb?
(username1, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:37, Reply)

Sounds good Username, thanks!
I'd be doing a PGCE, so not going for the whole "pissed up student life" thing, I did that on my degree.

That's awesome BGB, haha!
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:37, Reply)

V
Did you not know I'm Superman!

Hi BGB, Nasty B3tan not letting you put your music on.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Ouchies BGB
I don't dare to work out how long I suffered enforced celibacy for.
( Captain V, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:41, Reply)

Kaol
You're want to become a teacher?

DID You look at the Institute of Education here in London?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Yep!
I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I think it's a good idea.
Had a chat about it with one of my mates yesterday which kinda sealed the deal, he made some good points.

Problem with London is that I don't really wanna teach there, haha! If I was living there, I'd have to do placements there.
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:45, Reply)

Don't listen to him Kaol
He clearly can't be trusted if he thinks you should be allowed around children let alone teaching them.
( Captain V, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Hahaha!
Fair point :p

Nah, t'was good to talk about it with him.

I think getting the hell out of Essex will do me good too.
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:49, Reply)

Well Kaol
Who am I to stop anybody doing what they want to do. Go for it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:52, Reply)

wow
Kaol - Come to aus! You'd make an awesome teacher.

wait. What were you planning to teach?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Not even in the current chav culture
I can't see "Knife Skills and Studies" in the curriculum!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:59, Reply)

Biology :p
So... Biology, Human Biology and Environmental Biology.

Oz is too hot for me :p

So, yeah, "dissection-knife skills"....
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 10:59, Reply)

egad
you'd be vying to position of favourite teacher if you did! I love biology! studying final year biology right now :D Brilliant subject.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 11:02, Reply)

Biology is awesome.
And I've got a BSc in it, so I wouldn't need to do subject-specific training.
And it'd only be a year at uni.
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 11:03, Reply)

go for it
seriously - you'd be awesome at it.

I wish I got to do dissections this year - last year we did a rat and a brain and a heart and an eyeball, covering alimentary, nervous, circulatory systems and throwing in ocular importance and cell substance.

this year we dissect a leaf :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 11:05, Reply)

A leaf?
That's fucking shite!

When I was at uni my list included:
Shark
Squid
Pig
Locust
Rat
Cow parts
Beetles
Fish

Er... Lots of other stuff too.
Oh, starfish! They're cool!
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 11:08, Reply)

yeah well i'm hoping
that we get to do mice or something - at the moment we're just going over the basics which I know, and then we're moving on to Immunology and Genetics.

Would love to do starfish.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 11:10, Reply)

*waits for "doing your starfish" comments*
Oh, we did something on liver parasites in mice, it was awesome!
I don't like genetics that much, but immunology is awesome, 'cos you get to play with parasite-host interactions.
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 11:13, Reply)

Did you get to dissect live starfish?
If you cut them up each part grows back into a new starfish doesn't it? Pretty cool!
(username1, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 11:15, Reply)

On friday
we're doing our own pracs with fresh sheep liver and Hydrochloric acid to observe Catalase.

EDIT: I love genetics and immunology - find both fascinating that a simple glitch in our system can cause all kinds of havoc or even benefit us and that a miniscule bug can kill us if there are enough of it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 11:17, Reply)

Bored Now
But not by the biology talk, I like biology.

Cutting things up is fun.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Nah,
It's not "nice" to cut up live animals :p

Er... The starfish thing... If you break a leg off one, it'll regrow a new leg. The leg you snapped off will die.

If you break off a leg with a chunk of the "body" (the central section), it'll grow into a new starfish, and the original will regrow a leg.

Coolest thing is sponges. If you break one down to individual cells, then pass it through a mono-cellular sieve, then leave the resulting paste in a bucket of seawater with dissolved nutrients, the whole thing will re-organise itself back into a whole sponge.
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 11:20, Reply)

gargh
this is why I love biology.
Study of life. Absolutely beautiful.

EDIT: Somebody hand me the hat.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 11:22, Reply)

There you go Vampy
Have a lovely clean hat.

The last one was kinda funky.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 12:01, Reply)

FUCKING BULLSHIT
We've just been informed we're not getting a payrise this year citing "Current economic conditions". I'll bet we don't get our bonus either. We didn't get one last year due to the NHS Connecting for Health contract being such a money drain. It's a good bet the directors still get their payrise and bonus though, the greedy fucking pigs.

I know I should be grateful for the fact I still have a job but this is still a major kick in the teeth.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 12:03, Reply)

piston
that sucks. Majorly.
Have a hug.

/hugs.
I'm sorry I don't really know what else I can do or say - I've never been in that position. so this is all I can do which shows that I feel bad for you.

/hugs again and takes off hat
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Afternoon, shitbags
How are we all?

Saturday's bash was a laugh, lovely to meet LiC and Garbagefan for the first time. Thankfully the pen did come out in the wash.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 12:07, Reply)

Lab
I'm just fine and dandy thanks :D
Finished my biology and psychology homework so am now free for the rest of the night
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Piston
We won't get pay rises or bonuses here either :(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Hey Lab!
Have you heard "Not So Pretty Now" on the NIN/JA site?
Good to see you on Saturday, glad the pen came off!
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Hi VC!
Tough break Piston, that sucks :(

Kaol, yes I have, and the proper studio version of Non-Entity. Awesome!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Excellent!
I assumed you'd've done, but I thought I'd check :p

45 minutes 'til lunch... *yawns*
( Cawl, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Tell me about it
I'm wondering whether "alternative employment" is maybe a good idea. Working for a company whose name happens to rhyme with jujitsu is not fun sometimes.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 12:18, Reply)

tell them to fuck off
they're not very good in aus either apparently - there's a few branches of the company whose name rhymes with jiujitsu and they're not very well run either.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 12:20, Reply)

And now
I'm am off to bed. I'm tired as fuck.

Love you all.
/huggles everyone until they're slightly aroused and uncomfortable
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Is Fuck tired?
No wonder I'm not getting any if it is :(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 12:45, Reply)

Fuck's always tired
just last week he told me he couldn't even be fucked anymore.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:18, Reply)

God it's quiet round here at lunchbreak time
Never knew Fuck to be tired, but that's just me.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:34, Reply)

So piston
are you saying that they're all fat?

Are you implying that they've all waddled down to burger king to order a skipful of lard? That's mean, that is.

Maybe you ought to look at yourself before you make unmitigated pre-judgements, I bet you're not so perfect yourself. Are you?

Give me a snog, you sexy fucker.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Could be worse
You could be tired as buggery.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:50, Reply)

Me?
I have but a small belly. Useful for balancing pints on.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 14:03, Reply)

Lies
Everyone on the internet is fat, they're only on the internet because nobody wants to be their friend in real life.
(username1, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 14:09, Reply)

You're right!
I'm too fat, but it wasn't always this way. I blame uni.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 14:21, Reply)

I'm actually incredibly attractive
So attractive that when I attend bashes I'm required to wear a fat-suit and fake beard to prevent outbreaks of spontaneous public nudity.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 14:21, Reply)

LiC
You're not lying, on QOTW, on the internet, are you?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 23 Mar 2009, 14:25, Reply)

But Chains
That still didn't stop Cap V did it?

I've been drinking heavily since just to try and erase the memories.
(bill, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 14:25, Reply)

Chains
Now why would you say that when you know it's me you're describing.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 14:28, Reply)

Bill
Some sights can never be unseen. I'm pretty sure he showed his cock to everyone.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 14:34, Reply)

Anyone else about?
Either teh cock scared everyone off, or my phone is not properly reloading the page...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 15:49, Reply)

Crikey
Worst. HSH. Ever.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 17:25, Reply)