So it appears that I'm an old perv
You're all nodding, aren't you?


Well, I awoke from a pleasant dream this morning, but was slightly confused. Y'see, as part of my imaginary unconscious life, I'd walked into a room where a naked girl was lying in bed. I didn't recognise her, but I subsequently awoke, remembering her face. Anyway, in the dream, said girl was most unmodest about her unclothed state, and some fun ensued. You don't need to know any more about that bit. Make it up yourself.

Fast forward to this morning, at work. I'd all but forgotten about the dream, until in walked one of our research students. The 1/100 subdivision of a pound sterling then succumbed to the force of gravity. I'd been dreaming about one of our students. Naked.

This amused me, but at the same time made me feel like a dirty old man. And I've not really been able to look her in the eye today without chuckling and feeling slightly embarrassed.

so, what did you all dream of last night?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:21, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I dont really remember
At some point it involved an evil organisation stealing the hands free set for my phone, and this being a very bad thing, but thats all that comes to mind
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:23, Reply)

That my teenage son
had to have his leg amputated because he'd fractured his ankle. But then he was fitted with one of those sleek carbon fibre prosthetic limbs like that athlete has. Then he complained that it was too fast and he kept running in circles.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:28, Reply)

At the weekend I dreamt that a b3tan (not CHCB) found out about an affair I was having with a b3tan.
I then woke up next to a different b3tan. Very confusing.
( Captain V, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:28, Reply)

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
you're not supposed to tell people about us
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:29, Reply)

It wasn't us
I don't know whether or not I want to say as in my dream the b3tan that discovered it was very angry :(

Apparently Kaol knows you're going to marry me but has no idea whether or not I'm going to marry you.
( Captain V, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:30, Reply)

I'm not going to marry you
unless you grow to human height
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:32, Reply)

Wrong
I'm not growing anymore and Kaol's precognitions are never wrong.
( Captain V, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:32, Reply)

Ahem
use of names?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:39, Reply)

Nothing to see here
Move along
( Captain V, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:40, Reply)

YOU STUPID MIDGET CUNT!
FUCK YOU!
( Cawl, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:42, Reply)

hahahahah

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Awwww man
Why do you hate me James?
( Captain V, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Because you're a terrible prick.
You're RUINING MY LIFE.
( Cawl, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Is he an awful penis?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Yes.
He revealed my true-name ONLINE.
I'm gonna sue him.
( Cawl, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:52, Reply)

Even better than that
just squash him next time you see him.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:55, Reply)

Nah.
I don't wanna get the juice on my gloves.

Did you hear that he gave Vitamin C swine flu?
( Cawl, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:57, Reply)

Next time he sees me I'll be a zombie gnome
=D
( Captain V, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:57, Reply)

You'll have doubled your IQ,
AND you'll smell better?
This is good news.
( Cawl, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:04, Reply)

Tart!

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:29, Reply)

V
Could you be any more vague?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Male b3tan discovers my affair with a female b3tan
I woke up next to CHCB. That's as specific as I'm getting for now.
( Captain V, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:34, Reply)

ha was it Kaol
finding out you were having an affair with Mel?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Very no
No offense to Mel, she's lovely, but no.
( Captain V, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:38, Reply)

Well
Thanks for learing that up.

The only new info was the one thing I kinda knew anyway.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Ah well.

( Captain V, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:37, Reply)

ahhhhh
now I know why you were so reluctant to wake up this weekend.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 16:17, Reply)

i dream about posting :(((
sometimes i check in the morning to see if it was real or not. sad fucking times
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:29, Reply)

Yes K2, you are a dirty old man!
I very rairly remember my dream, exept for the recurring ones that I have and they are very strange indeed!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:32, Reply)

Are they dreams where you turn purple on the lawn?

( Captain V, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:33, Reply)

I wish
That would be a far more pleasant dream, and a lot less strange.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:37, Reply)

I dreamt
I invented a new sex toy for women.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Was it called the "althegeordie"?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:35, Reply)

no
this was something women would want to use
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:37, Reply)

But all women
Secretly want to use Al, and a number of men as well.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:38, Reply)

Mostly men with hair though

( Captain V, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:39, Reply)

Oh no he didn't!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:39, Reply)

Sometimes
I'm glad I'm going bald.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:43, Reply)

That's so hurtful

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Surely Al
It would depend on what I wanted to use you for?

How about cleaning my house?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:46, Reply)

I love the smell of Pledge
and with Cillit BANG, those messy jobs take half the time.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Then please come round
I've got animals that could do with a clean as well.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:51, Reply)

I always misread the label as "clit bang"

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:53, Reply)

BANG!
and your clit is gone.

They sell a lot in Saudi Arabia because of that confusion.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:54, Reply)

Stop it
I'm trying not to laugh and have to explain this in my office!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:02, Reply)

Sorry
I thought that was relatively witty for me.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:07, Reply)

It was
That's why I was chortling here.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:24, Reply)

Tru Dat

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:39, Reply)

As long as I don't have to keep buying batteries then I'l order one.

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:36, Reply)

You'll be OK
It'll be powered by a 1.3 litre petrol engine from a Morris Marina.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:37, Reply)

I only have
1.8 TC engines
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:40, Reply)

Even beter then.

(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Pull a plug lead
and it'll run really roughly, possibly enhancing the pleasurable experience!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Caves
and Shadow, from American Gods. I was Laura; and I had maggots in me.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:40, Reply)

I had a very vivid dream
That I was camping in a weird caravan park in central london, when all of a sudden the Chinese government decided to take over the world and irradicate all other races in the process.

Much of it is hazy and was viewed as if it was shot on a cam corder like Cloverfield, but i vividly remember hiding out in a bomb proof train station untill they sent a helicopter in, with a huge hose spraying petrol everywhere, and burned the place down to de gwound.

Somehow I managed to escape and woke up just as I was seeking refuge in a forest, only to be confronted by comoflaged military types trying to fight back against the swarming Chinese hoards.

So surreal and had excelent special effects... Wonder what it means?
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:42, Reply)

It means
You're fucked. You will be eaten by people wanting a chinese take-away.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:45, Reply)

You are Steven Seagal
AICMFP
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Haha if only!

(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:46, Reply)

I dreamt I was in an abandoned shopping mall, with over-grown plants everywhere.
There was a tyranasrous on the roof and it stuck it's bigger-than-me nail through the glass roof and a cat jumped on it, he then ate the cat.

It was awesome and scary at the same time.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:55, Reply)

oh man you have the best dreams
i had one about a t-rex the other day i was feeding it grass from the top of my shed
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:59, Reply)

Hah, I wish they would hurry up and make Jurrasic Park.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:07, Reply)

someone wants to pull their fucking finger out

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:08, Reply)

I'm somewhat surprised
at the lack of sex and nudity in these dreams.

I can't be the only one, surely?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:56, Reply)

My mrs had a rude dream last night
but it was about me and someone else, and she wasn't very happy.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:58, Reply)

That's no good
If there's a dream to be had about you shagging another woman, surely you're the one who needs to be dreaming it!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:59, Reply)

Someone else = his bike

( Captain V, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:02, Reply)

I wake up with the smell of WD40 in my nostrils

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:06, Reply)

ive had a dream about an ex cheating a few times
woke up with the right arse and i couldnt work out why i was so mardy with him. poor cunt didnt do owt
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:00, Reply)

i'm reading Dune at the moment
so I dreamt of raising an army of Fremen.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 13:56, Reply)

Hmmm...
That's pretty lame.
( Cawl, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:05, Reply)

I'm playing Left 4 Dead at the mo
so my dreams are filled with screaming hordes of rabid zombies. I rather enjoy them... Especially when I've got the shotgun.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 14:04, Reply)