Morning
Anyone had shingles?
What do they start like?
I'm a hypochondriac so please tread carefully. I am susceptible to the merest suggestion.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 8:48, 80 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OMG! YOU HAVE SHINGLES.
I just know it.
( girlinthehole, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 8:56, Reply)

I know. I'm going to die aren't I?
Especially as I have The Cat Aids too :(
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:01, Reply)

You can't die.
Then I'll be the only member of the B3ta 'bite me' club. *sad face*
( girlinthehole, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:05, Reply)

All the more bites for you
*totally sadface*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:17, Reply)

Is my invitation null and void? Did I take too long to decide?

(TheColonel, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Not me but
My mate phil had them. Said he started achey like flu then got herpes all over his body.

Good luck!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 24 Nov 2009, 8:57, Reply)

Herpes!
I've got perviness disease now!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:18, Reply)

my dad had them
and two years later he died

These two events are not connected,
( Peej, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 8:59, Reply)

Are you sure?
Are you sure?
Are you sure?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:10, Reply)

Yes, I'm sure down deep inside
You're the one that I want.
(you are the one i want want), o, o, oo, honey.
( Peej, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:12, Reply)

No need to pussyfoot
I know I'm not long for this world...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:21, Reply)

That's a shame really
you seem so nice. Still, if this lief has taught me anything it's that nice people often die while total cunts seem to hang around forever.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:22, Reply)

I'm absolutely lovely
So it's only fitting that I die tragically young.
I'm sneezing and shivering now. I think it's The Consumption.
Get me a bathchair and some cross-stitch to occupy me.
Tell my suitors and callers that I'm indisposed.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:25, Reply)

Quick Nurse!
She's having an attack of the vapours!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:28, Reply)

My dad got stung by one of those huge cyprus bees, half an hour later, he was dead, 10 minuites after that the news was posted on a website of mine, an hour after that I found out about the whole thing.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:26, Reply)

GO GO SOCIAL NETWORKS !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:27, Reply)

Is that true?
My aunty is allergic to wasps. She keeps getting stung but not dying. Anyone else would be dead by now. A nice person.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:33, Reply)

Yup, I wasn't there, but that's what I hear.
There are a couple of stories about what exactly happened, but that one seems to be the most consistant. The website stuff is all 100% true, properly fucked me up, the site took me 2 years to make (it was an on-going project), and I can't look at it now, but can't take it down eaither. I just make sure it's running.

It set off his second heart-attack, and as he was in cyprus, the ambulance took 2 hours to arrive.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Still, he managed to see his dreams come true out there, for the most part.
Not everything, but his olive trees and the opening of a good friend's shop.

It's a shame that some bastard cut the trees down two months later.

They named a street after him.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Oh god sorry for being flippant
I'm not sorry for wishing the wasps would do for my aunty though. On predictive text, aunty is cunty
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:58, Reply)

Heh, didn't even notice you being flippent =)
They're fucking huge, they're only found in north cyprus (as far as I can tell), about the size of a thumb with two body-sections.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 11:07, Reply)

My boss had them and he's a cunt.
I like to think the two are connected.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:02, Reply)

So you've got shingles too?
You absolute cunt!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:19, Reply)

I'm not the boss of me.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:54, Reply)

My mrs had them in her teens
tingly sensations all over one side of the body might be an indicator too.

They can be pretty bad, give you permanent nerve damage and possibly blindness.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:11, Reply)

I heard they can lead to being punched in the eye by your hirsute boyfriend too.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:14, Reply)

damn straight

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:17, Reply)

My eyes are very tired
I'm assuming this is early onset blindness
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:20, Reply)

I think it's more likely to be eye cancer

(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:22, Reply)

Or my brain tumour

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:22, Reply)

No, that will just cause you unbearable pain
it doesn't affect your sight until the end. ER has shown this to be true.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Come into the light Albert
My life and my sight are ebbing
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:31, Reply)

*adopts strong expression*
Don't fret dear, the doctors say you'll be fine.

Nurse, should the back of her head be weeping like that?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:35, Reply)

this reminds me of the bit in The Wasp Factory
with the brain full of maggots or whatever it is.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:37, Reply)

It reminds me of Fanny by Gaslight

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:46, Reply)

It reminds me of Clunge by the Electric Lamp

(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:49, Reply)

One of your favourite albums.
You have the t-shirt
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:51, Reply)

I got my clunge signed by them and everything

(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:54, Reply)

They start with a whiney, irritating voice...
And go downhill from there.

Yep, you're going to die!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:38, Reply)

Cheeky cunt
My voice sounds like singing. Really common singing.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 9:47, Reply)

A herpes virus walks into a pub.
It's a well-known shingles bar.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:02, Reply)

A joke best delivered
in a Sean Connery voice.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:04, Reply)

^ definitely this
I like it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:17, Reply)

A joke best not delivered at all, if we're being honest.

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:21, Reply)

I was being kind.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:51, Reply)

Two bacteria walk into a bar
The barman says, "we don't serve bacteria here" and they say "but we work here - we're staph!"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:29, Reply)

I've been to brighton...
I wouldn't recommend it, it hurt my feet...
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Climie hates shingle
Climie hates shale
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:34, Reply)

I've got lovely lovely codine.
Nyom nyom nyom, but it's not really sorting the pain, just making me not care so much.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:28, Reply)

That reminds me of a colleague's description of giving birth.
It went something like this: "I was on gas and air. That didn't make the pain any less, but it did make it hilarious."
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:29, Reply)

You should put it up your bottom
it will work better. Have you tried gazzing the mods about your pain? I hear they can sort any kind of shit out.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:29, Reply)

While looking at how to turn MST into fast-release, I found out about booty-bopping.
Although I'm not one to turn down an enema, I couldn't convince my flatmates to administer it.

Disclaimer: I wish for it to be known that I do not enjoy things going up my bottom, except prehaps a cheeky finger or tounge during fornication.
I do not look down upon... those who are shaking and crying due to lack of opiats, and are just looking for that sweet-sweet first high, and are chasing it to the point of considering getting a job in a second-rate phamacey so they can say 'oh dear, I dont know what happened, I thought those boxes were empty, I just chucked them out' and then going through the bins at midnight. They are people just as much as me and you..... but it just isn't my cup of tea.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:35, Reply)

I can't take codine
Drugs really knock me sideways.
I like Feminax. On an empty stomach. Mmm, warm blankets.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:36, Reply)

I've not had that one.
Is it like your torso is getting a hug from a hot water bottle covered in a cashmir fleece while a clean non-poo'ing pug sits on your lap?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Almost
But the canine in question is a labrador puppy. Asleep.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:44, Reply)

Awesome =D
I love labradors, well, I love the majority of dogs, but if someone told me to "Think of a dog", labrador would be the first one that comes into my head. They're dog-dogs, if that makes sense.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:49, Reply)

They're the default of dogs.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:49, Reply)

They're the only dogs I'm never ever afraid of.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:56, Reply)

that's because they are the best dogs
my parents have had two. They were both the best dogs ever.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 11:07, Reply)

My friend had two and gave them away
I'm not as keen to babysit her kids now.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 11:16, Reply)

In this book....
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Curious_Incident_of_the_Dog_in_the_Night-time

They say dogs only have three emotions "Excited", "Sad", "happy", "Angry", and that's why they're the best animal. (I think that's right).

It's one of my favorite books.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Ah, I love that book too.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 11:16, Reply)

it is good
read it in about 2 hours I think. Strange how some books grip you.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 11:18, Reply)

The official book of /OT
What with the autisms and everything.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 11:38, Reply)

If the rash spreads around your body...
...and then meets in the middle you will suffer a slow and painful death.

And I know because I am a Doctor.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 12:14, Reply)

I think it's fading
Maybe it's mange.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 12:18, Reply)