This morning I pooed al fresco
It was liberating. And also very cold.

What have you done today that you haven't done for, Hmmmm, how long has it been, almost two years to the day.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:08, 154 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Where?
Whyyyy???

Today I woke up with red puffy eyes like as if I'd been crying.
Haven't done that for just over 5 years.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:14, Reply)

Who is this Al Fresco?
Is he an Italian cousin?
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:16, Reply)

I read that as 'At Tesco'

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:17, Reply)

Really?
are you still welcome at the bus stop?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:16, Reply)

I once took a poo on a garage forcourt, true story.
Right in the middle of it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:21, Reply)

That's much better than both my stories
Two years ago was on a rugby pitch on the way home as I was very drunk couldn't walk the next two miles without having a poo, and this morning was in the doorway of a derelict nursing home I was working on.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:23, Reply)

are you "The phantom shitter of old London town"?
parp
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:24, Reply)

Oh goodness me no
I've never had an outdoor poo in London Town.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:27, Reply)

I once did a poo at Pauls.
True dat!
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)

My mate Paul has never got any bog paper at his place
useless sod
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:23, Reply)

My mate has been two full calender years without a properly functioning toilet at his house.
You have to fill the cistern from a bucket if you want to flush.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:24, Reply)

My nephew went round to my aunty's and she gave him a glossy magazine to wipe his arse with
Witch
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:25, Reply)

That's like using Izal.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Bumripper!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:28, Reply)

enconomy shit tickets

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:29, Reply)

Tracing paper

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

or find a convenient rugby pitch.
I wouldnt know whether to drop my guts on the try line between the posts, or right in the middle. By the time I had decided I would have shit myself.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:27, Reply)

I was near the corner flag

(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:27, Reply)

does he have a yellow pages?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:28, Reply)

No he had normal toilet paper

(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)

I know YOU'RE not coming, Oh Scummy Al
but what time is everyone getting there tonight? I'm still in bed.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:25, Reply)

Are you alone?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Unfortunately so.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:28, Reply)

Well then
you should be wanking.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)

About 6:30 7 ish,
gaz me your number and I'll send you a text when I'm on my way.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:34, Reply)

smoooooooth

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:38, Reply)

That's how I get b3tans numbers,
I should use it in an answer to this weeks /qotw.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:39, Reply)

You really should
because then you can send a saucy text later and pretend it was 'The Drink'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:41, Reply)

I now have 6 b3tan phone numbers
5 are girls and one is wormulus.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:44, Reply)

that sounds like quite the party

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:48, Reply)

and now lampito is invited.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:51, Reply)

Sounds like a scene from Family Guy

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:51, Reply)

I've had to delete all but one because I do mass drunk texting

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:52, Reply)

I have:
Al, Tourettes, Enzyme (though it may be wrong, I got it while drunk from Tourettes), Applebite, Coast of Yemen and AA.

Quite a motley crew.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:55, Reply)

You should give me applebites tonight
she'd love that.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:00, Reply)

Mememememememe!

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:05, Reply)

I don't have yours :(
Don't have many manc numbers!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:09, Reply)

Oh I thought you meant facebook buddies.
Sorry, I got confused.
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:12, Reply)

I have many b3tan facebooksers :)

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:13, Reply)

I don't have you on facebook
but I think I know which one you are. Mind if I add you?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Smoother!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:41, Reply)

That was to you, BITCH
I know who Chompy is. I'm just not adding him.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:42, Reply)

I know you fucker!
I still thought it was smoother than his!!!
Yeah, fucking add me, see if I care! :P
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:43, Reply)

I'm collecting b3tans.
I have Al, which is like a shiny, cause he has to ADD YOU. zOMG. You get minus points for AA.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:44, Reply)

Everybody has Al.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:48, Reply)

+ had

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:49, Reply)

It took me 2 requests and 6 months to get him on my facebook, but god damn it, I got him in the end.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:52, Reply)

I was easy wasn't I Gonz?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:54, Reply)

Damn straight skippy.
Just the way I like it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:55, Reply)

I'm on the wrong side of 20s now, I just don't have the time ahead of me for all this 'chase' bollocks.
I hate all the mind games, "Oooo, She 'poked' me, what did she mean by that? Did she see my status update asking for "*HUGZ*" and felt sorrt for me? I hope she doesn't just feel sorry for me, I thought she liked me, why doesn't she like me? Oh god, why did she have to 'poke' me?" and "Does she have that stalker thinggy that tells her when I look at her pictures for hours in end, maybe I can tell her that it was open in another browser window, I can only use that excuse once." and "What did she mean by 'I had dinner tonight, fish fingers' ? Oh god, she really _does_ hate my guts =("
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:03, Reply)

You don't want women to feel sorry for you.
Unless it's for something cool like cancer.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:05, Reply)

Amen brutha
*hugs and pokes with a fishy singer*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:10, Reply)

I don't
I have AA and Roooooooooota, that is all.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:57, Reply)

You're a discerning gent

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:01, Reply)

That I am
Mummy says I'm special
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:02, Reply)

I don't :-(
and probably never will. I can dream though.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:05, Reply)

Ha ha,
is that because my privacy settings are low enough for you to stalk me without being my friend?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:43, Reply)

Got it in one ;)
Do you even know which one I am?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:46, Reply)

I know what you look like but have no idea what your name is.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Awesome.
I'll put a mask on in my profile pic and send you threatening messages.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Around 7ish, I think.
Look out for a good looking bloke, I'll probably be standing next to him.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:50, Reply)

I took the day off becuse I cant face the lack of sun
been a while since that happened
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:27, Reply)

MTFU!
Or move to Africa.
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:29, Reply)

Im saving up next years holiday so i can go to the canaries or azores

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

I'm going to Tenerife in February and Greece in August.
*smugs*
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Im at home with a natural light
until my debts are paid
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Well I'm going to Elevenerife then
smug mare
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:32, Reply)

You know what's even smugger.
I hate hot weather.
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:45, Reply)

haha, i do too
I'd be like Miss Havisham.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:52, Reply)

I once had explosive diarrhoea
in the bin cupboard of a block of council flats round the back of Old Street station. It was about 7:15am, an emergency pit (or more appropriately 'shit') stop on my way to work. I had to spend the rest of day 'commando' as I had to use my boxers as lavatory paper.

So if anyone on here happens to be the janitor there, I'm sorry. It looked like a fucking war zone when I was through.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:29, Reply)

Brilliant

(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

I was no more than 5 seconds away
from crapping myself - and there was about 3 pints of it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:34, Reply)

It's always bad news..
...wWhen you measure your tummy-rubbish by the pint rather than the length/girth.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:46, Reply)

Not good times,
were you better afterwords?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Immeasurably so.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Good Christ alive on a bike.
That is epic.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:33, Reply)

I've recently been told I've got IBS
My biggest fear is being caught short in public.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Ooo! nasty.
Can't you control it with your diet?
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Or a cork?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:34, Reply)

fuck off!
Maybe that's what you were doing with the Frazzles...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:36, Reply)

It's possible
it is difficult to insert a corn snack up someones bottom though.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:45, Reply)

That's why there were all crushed in my arsepocket

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:55, Reply)

Well I've been told to keep a diary to see what triggers it
But I know my favourite things are factors, as is always the bloody way.
Also the very things that help me lose weight (Quorn, beans, mushy peas etc) ALL make it very 'irritable'. In fact it's positively furious.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:35, Reply)

I read that as
My favourite things are tractors, and I thought, I love Tractors!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:40, Reply)

I like urban tractors with buckets and diggers.
I dunno much about country ones with lawnmowers on them and that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:44, Reply)

Urban Tractors?
Do you mean JCBs*



other manufactures of excavator are available
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:45, Reply)

Er yeah, that type.
But they're still tractors, right?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:47, Reply)

I like the ones with numbers on.
I saw a 106, 107 and 320... all in the same day once.

True story.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:52, Reply)

I never saw numbers...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:55, Reply)

I wouldn't worry
you're not that much shorter than me
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:33, Reply)

carry bog roll with you at all times
or those kleenex mini packs with aloe vera
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:35, Reply)

Hastily-stolen bog-roll will do the trick ;)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:37, Reply)

How is it that you remember the day two years ago that you last pooed al fresco?
Hmm?
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:34, Reply)

I rarely poo outdoors
Hence even though it was two years ago I sticks in my mind.

I don't often fall over for no good reason, but one day about halfway through April 2003 I fell over for no apparent reason on the pavement in Nelson, New Zealand.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:41, Reply)

A good point well made.
I just wouldn't remember stuff like that.

*reminder to smoke less*
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:44, Reply)

last time I fell over for no reason was absurd
was down in cornwall on a camping weekend with a bunch of guys from work. one irish guy had a bunch of hurling sticks (clubs?) and we were giving it a go. I was running fell pelt over flat ground with short grass and then suddenly I totally stacked it. Big audience, and when I looked there was no reason for me to fall. Nothing to trip on, ground was almost totally flat...

quite painful, but also quite hilarious
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:51, Reply)

I don't think I have ever pooed outside
Am I missing out?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:52, Reply)

You're still young and have lots of time.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:55, Reply)

Indeed
Maybe I should start taking more risks... eating a three-course meal and then going mountain climbing all day... stuff like that!?!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:57, Reply)

me neither
Don't worry love. We're still hardcore.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:57, Reply)

if thats what it takes to be hardcore I'm not so sure I want to be

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:00, Reply)

Hooooray!
*high fives*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:01, Reply)

*pops collar*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:02, Reply)

*ushers*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:02, Reply)

*Nelly's*

(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:05, Reply)

*Snoops*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:10, Reply)

*Fonzs*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:11, Reply)

Aeeeeeeeeeeeee

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:14, Reply)

Oh and while you're on the subject of poos and toilet stuff
I think you may have fixed the leak in our bathroom... since your jiggery-pokery in the toilet cistern it appears not to be leaking... so well done Plumber Al! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:55, Reply)

Gold star for cleaning it with bleach and bogbrush please?
All that male wee had left a 'film'.
(And I also did a small pretend not even there really poo)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Awww thank you lovely!
I cleaned it the next day, it was still a fearful sight, I think Hayley had vommed in the night - Nooooooo! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:02, Reply)

Was that your brother's GF?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:05, Reply)

Nope that was Ellie
She vommed on our bathroom mat which has since been binned. Hayley apparently got up around about 5.00am and vommed in our toilet... and Becky in the bucket... that's three!! Blimey!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:13, Reply)

These girls just can't hold their booze
not like me and Roots! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:16, Reply)

I wish I'd not held mine!
I wish I'd spilled it everywhere but down my drunken gullet.
I might have behaved better then.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:23, Reply)

Ah you were fine
You didn't vom and you were highly entertaining! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:24, Reply)

I fear I'm t-h-i-s close to being called
'a bit of a character'.
And everyone knows that means 'twat'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:29, Reply)

Except in this case 'a twat'
means 'all round good egg and cool person who is fun to be around'.


TO THE PANDERTRON!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:32, Reply)

Yay
And I can do one-person synchronised swimming on a laminate floor.
I mean that's cool, right?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:34, Reply)

Your interpretative dance
to Steps was one of the highlights of my evening
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Thank you for using the correct term

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:40, Reply)

Nah you're great lovely
Not a bit of a character at all, just super! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:35, Reply)

I like your house in the air ever so much
I felt happy as soon as I walked in
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:41, Reply)

Its the picture with the hearts in the hall way that does that
its full of lurve!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:47, Reply)

Nah
It's you two.
*smushes*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:50, Reply)

Awwww thanks!
See that's why you're nice. You're allowed in the house again! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:51, Reply)

Am I allowed in again?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:52, Reply)

Yes indeedy
You're more than welcome! I'll get you doughnuts next time too.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:57, Reply)

Woooo
now I don't have to feel guilty about sneaking into your bedroom earlier.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:58, Reply)

phew

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:52, Reply)

Erm, me and PJM pured a bucket of vom into the shower too
but we proper rinsed it. I hope.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:07, Reply)

Nice
Ah the pink house of vom... delightful
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:14, Reply)

OUR HOUSE IS PURPLE!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:23, Reply)

It's like living in fucking Balamory.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:23, Reply)

Sorry
Our house is purple! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:26, Reply)

Kid British remix?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:24, Reply)

What can I say
once I've fiddled with your ballcock, your lumps tend to stop dripping
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:00, Reply)

You da man!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:02, Reply)

I once got caught short on the motorway when I lived in Manchester and had to commute.
I stopped off at an industrial estate and ran into a factory, but I was too shy to say, 'hey can I use your loo because I'm going to shit myself', so I asked for directions which the chap took 10 minutes to explain. Then I asked to use the loo. I took ages and when I came out for some reason I asked if he knew where I could get a cup of tea round there.(I think I was just making small talk to ease my embarrasment). He offered to make me a cup which was a bit creepy so I ran off.
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:40, Reply)

that was nice of them

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:45, Reply)

It was early morning and no-one about apart from these two guys in the factory.
And I'm a laydeee!
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:50, Reply)

Superb, very relevant
Last night my wife was on the toilet when i was overcome with what felt like the beginnings of food poisoning, I paced and sweated for about 30 seconds and to cut a long story short, I had to shit in a carrier bag.

I have done this just once before, in very similar circumstances. An alfresco shite is a very underrated experience. In fact, it is one of the plus points I quote when I am 'bigging up' camping.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 14:48, Reply)

It's easier when there is something to lean against
like a tree, or a wall, or Roota.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:01, Reply)

Oh my God
You shit those Frazzles into my pocket while we were on the decking, didn't you???
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:03, Reply)

Al has unique anal shapage

( thealternativefact, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:06, Reply)

10 points for 'shapage'!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:07, Reply)

And a bonus 2000 points for Norks

(Bazongaloid, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:13, Reply)

2010 points to spend - woohoo!

( thealternativefact, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:13, Reply)

sha see
( Maladicta, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 18:05, Reply)

There is also something very satisfying about burying it.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:02, Reply)

Ha! Quote of the day
"to cut a long story short, I had to shit in a carrier bag."

Do you remember the drunken old gentleman from "the fast show" who would ramble incoherently and then pipe up with "fingerless gloves were essential" or "a range of interesting cheeses"? Your quote reminds me of that.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:03, Reply)

I once used a Christian newspaper to wip my arse with

not out of any real spite*, but just because it was the only thing to hand.

Am I going to hell?

*ok some spite
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:08, Reply)

I once bought some weed wrapped in a page from the bible
It was good weed purchased, from some rasta bloke at Glastonbury.

He'd pull a lump out of his giant bag, take a page out of his bible and then wrap it up.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 15:45, Reply)

I read your subject line
in Lilly Allen's voice.
( Sunburn Go on.... It's character building!, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 16:10, Reply)