So, I drove home from Uxbridge last night
and in order to get onto the dual carriageway, I needed to get up some back roads as the town centre was gridlocked. On doing this, driving very gingerly, I encountered a guy in a Lexus sat sideways on the street. I helped him get going again and returned to my car, where I saw a Corsa madly spinning his wheels and then rolling back down the hill. As he had another go, I pulled out in front and smugly rode the clutch all the way up without any problems.

Now, I know we're not used to this kind of weather this far South, but I was still taught how to drive in snowy weather by my instructor. Low gear, low revs, just enough power to keep the engine from stalling. I have also read how most of the people on here seem to know how to drive in the snow, too.

So my question is, does spending time on the internet facilitate the kind of intelligence that stops you from joining the "MOAR POWAH!" school of snow driving? How does anybody think that booting the throttle is going to stop your wheels spinning in icy conditions?
( Kroney, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:28, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hahah you went to Uxbridge.
Why would you do that?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:30, Reply)

I work there
:(
( Kroney, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:32, Reply)

this inability to drive on snow is a symptom of a much wider problem
here it is.

Think of how stupid the average person is. Then remember that half of people are more stupid than that.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:31, Reply)

I saw a car last night
with snow chains on the tyres - not something I've seen in Britain before. Obviously in Canada everyone has them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:33, Reply)

I'm pretty sure we don't need them here
and they'll just contribute to fucking up our roads
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:34, Reply)

I think
they're actually illegal here.
( Kroney, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:36, Reply)

In the Rocky and Sierra Mountains where they get a LOT of snow,
on osme of the mountain passes there are big signs that light up during snow storms stating that chains or four wheel drive is required to go any further. They are not kiding either as they have cops checking out the cars. (Chains work realluy well but you have to learn to drive with them as important things such as turning are a lot different).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:29, Reply)

That depends how you work out the average

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:35, Reply)

root mean square

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:36, Reply)

I suspect median

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:37, Reply)

HE SHOULD HAVE SPECIFIED THAT!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:38, Reply)

this makes more sense
given that negative IQs are unusual
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:38, Reply)

They're impossible,
gahd.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:44, Reply)

I'm going to start imagining you as Napolean Dynamite

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:45, Reply)

They're in no way impossible
Five minutes trawling QOTW is all the research you need to prove this.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:02, Reply)

Alas
I think most of that half call me up for tech support.
( Kroney, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:35, Reply)

The trick is to do that "grrrrrrrrrrr grrrrrrrr Grrrrrrrrrr GRRRRRRRRR grrrrrr grrrrrrrrrr" thing when you drive.
Rather than the "GRRRRRRRR eeeeEEEEE GRRRRRRRR eeeeeEEEE" thing, but then when you start going down hill, you need to do the "rrrr rrrr rrrr rrrr" thing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:34, Reply)

last night I made pork and sage meatballs
in a sauce that was essentially a large thick bloody mary.

whizzed up chopped tomatoes, onion, garlic, worcester sauce, a small peach habaerno chilli, cayenne, paprika, mushroom, courgette and vodka

it was great
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:36, Reply)

Cor! That sounds ace!

( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:37, Reply)

That sounds good, did you have any carbs with it?
Did you wizz it up corse'ley or thin'ley?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:50, Reply)

whizzed the tomatoes to a thinnish liquid, but cooked it with the meatballs in until it was thick
and had wholewheat fusilli (pasta spirals)

and sprinkled with a load of parmesan
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:52, Reply)

It's 3am
and I'm looking through my cupboards to see what pasta noms I can make!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:54, Reply)

sounds good !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:12, Reply)

To be honest,
I've never had to drive in snow and although I probably wouldn't know how to as a technicality, I reckon I'd do alright.
Driving skills is common sense - even when it rains here, drivers suddenly start speeding up (they think their car will get less wet or something if they speed), never mind that the rainfall makes the roads slick and the drainage is appalling.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:36, Reply)

As long as you don't drive like a prick
you won't have any problems. Same with driving in the rain, there's nothing wrong with doing motorway speeds when it's wet, you've just got to be careful.

Unfortunately it would appear most people are too stupid to realise that controlling over a ton of metal at high speed can quickly go very wrong if you let it.
( Kroney, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:41, Reply)

Exactly.
During inclement weather out here, everyone suddenly becomes Mr. BoyRacer (chav style). Last week when it rained like fuckery, there were more accidents than there's been in a month.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:43, Reply)

My car is shit in snow and ice.
I have no idea how to drive in these conditions other than take it slow and grip the wheel like a vice.

I may have resorted to more power when I tried to park up the hill near my house and couldn't get anywhere. I ended up reversing out of my street and parking in the pub car park further down the road.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:37, Reply)

Never slow down
when going up a hill on snow covered roads! (You don't need to drive really fast, just keep a constant speed and don't try to all of a sudden speed up either).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:32, Reply)

You're back East, right?
Hope you're safe and warm and the weather isn't affecting you too much!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Yeah, in Vermont
Thanks for the wishes. I just wish we got some of the snow but it all went south of us. Shitty winter so far, only about an inch or two of snow at my house (more inthe mountains, but still not much).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:48, Reply)

Hahahaha!
And if you did get the snow, you'd be cursing like fuck about having to shovel it out of your driveway!
No snow days for you then, I guess?
We got rain tonight. Ohhhhhhh, rain......
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Most things don't shut down for
snow up here. It is just something you deal with (or else move to Florida for the winter). Shoveling isn't so bad and I do have a snow blower I use when we get more than 6 or 8 inches of snow. You are right though, I do piss and moan about it every time we get a real snow.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:02, Reply)

I once drove 11 hours to the Alps
and when I got to the bottom of the very dark mountain it was shitting it down with snow, I thna had to nurse my little car up 40km of mountain roads in 3 inches of snow in the dark and made it woo!

However the carpark was at the top of a hill and after 5 wheel spinning attempts I slid backwards into a snowdrift, which is where I left the car over night as I'd had enough!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:43, Reply)

my car
being made by Italians is remarkably shit in cold weather (and also warm weather, and rain, and sleet, fog, mild mists, cool spring, warm autumns, sunshine, darkness) which means to stop it constantly stalling until the choke and fuel pipes decide to work properly I have to rev it to buggery, combine that with snow and ice and my Cunto is slightly less useful than anal rape
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Good advice
except don't you mean HIGH gear, low revs?

Because I'm lazy, my car is an automatic. Selecting the 'winter' mode makes it start off in 3rd gear and dulls the throttle response.

Also, I do plenty of testing of cars at a winter test centre in Swedish Lapland. We never go lower than 3rd gear at any point.

You can get away with it in slippery conditions because there's only a fraction of the normal rolling resistance.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:58, Reply)

BMW Drivers

What is the correct etiquette when a BMW driver cannot get up a hill and just sits there blocking the road spinning his rear 255 road tyres. Do you,

1. Wait patiently until he gives up and pulls over.
2. Offer to tow him up the hill.
3. Drive up the wrong side of the road, stop along side him, mouth 'Wanker' and drive off.

I went for option 3.
( Vambo, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 13:24, Reply)