Evening/Morning/Afternoon All
(depending on where you all are)

Have been reading (but too scared to post) for a few years now - aparently OffTopic is the place to be - the other half has raved about it but somehow now seems to be the time to dip one's toe in the water....

So I apologise for the not knowing too much about the established hierarchy etc...
(Baile_Atha_Cliath is new to this b3ta nonsense, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 1:38, 80 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Welcome.
You won't find this place a hive of activity at weekends I'm afraid. Not until around 7pm GMT on Sunday.

Damn those people and their pesky real lives.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 23 Jan 2010, 1:42, Reply)

7pm Sunday
When everyone suddenly recovers from the hangovers after repeated liver-punishment on Friday/Sat evening...
(Baile_Atha_Cliath is new to this b3ta nonsense, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 1:52, Reply)

Pretty much.
A few pointers...

Vipros is terribly smug and likes croissants and weed.
Althegeordie is an awful penis and our resident loveable cunt.
Monty Boyce loves David Bowie.
Beckyjsbx does stuff with animals.
Psychochomp is a professional paperclip salesman.
Devil-in-Tights is married to Flim-flam. He's a frustrated actor; she's just too bouncy for her own good.
Big-girls-blouse has a new dog.
Roota is Scouse but we don't hold that against her.
Kristine and the Resident Loon are Merkin; see above.
Gonz is Gonz and obsessed by dogs and food.
Me and my missus aren't here often enough, really.
Clendrix has fantasic norks.
Linebreaks are frowned upon, but we don't care.

That's for starters; you can fill in the blanks as you go along.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 23 Jan 2010, 2:01, Reply)

We go at a slower pace than /talk
In order to put more thought into our answers
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 6:48, Reply)

I'm not a blank, you cunt!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I am blank most of the time
at least until I've had coffee.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Oh man, they had loads of dogs in the dog shop yesterday.
I wanted to put them all into one big pen, sit down in the middle of all of them and oh man, I'd have been the happiest man alive, if just for a moment. In fact, I think I was anyway, just watching them through the glass.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Thank you
If people ask first, I might let them hold it against me.
*insert Sid James*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:34, Reply)

:D
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aj7D65SFOhM
( weaver., Sat 23 Jan 2010, 20:35, Reply)

Morning
I find it pleasant here. I read more than post, but I feel very welcome.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Sat 23 Jan 2010, 8:09, Reply)

Hi newbie.
I don't have a new dog. My parents have a new dog which I talk about a lot.

I have cats which according to CHCB makes me emotionally retarded which is rich coming from her as she's marrying a catface.
( girlinthehole, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Hahaha!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I'm always surprised how quiet it is here at weekends
I suppose that might be a good thing.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Hello new person
It's nice here. Very relaxed. And yeah, weekends mostly seem to be dead round these parts. though you might get a few people checking in with hangovers or suchlike (fucking sambuca....).
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Sambuca is to be avoided like the plague. It's not nice stuff (well, it is at the time, but you pay for it the next day).
(Baile_Atha_Cliath is new to this b3ta nonsense, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Unless
you drink it out of someone's navel.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Sadly
I know of quite a few people who may or maynot have partaken of this sort of thing on a works night out a few months back.

I was not one of them...
(Baile_Atha_Cliath is new to this b3ta nonsense, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Ugh, my head!
Hello new person. I've got girl hair. That's pretty much all that's interesting about me.

And i'm rather hungover, i'm actually writing this on my phone, because i can't move, it hurts.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Hangover...
Did the sambuca fairy mug you too?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Nope
But the lager fiend gave me a right kicking!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Heh
At least it wasn't the Vodka goblin. That fucker's got a mean left hook....
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I know
The cunt got me last weekend. Mixing it with fizzy Vimto, god why?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Vimto? That sounds unpleasant.
Why is it that when you mix vodka with something it seems to have a worst effect than if you just drink it straight, or with coke?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:44, Reply)

No idea...
Sadly it tasted OK!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I think it's a good thing that sambucca is umpleasent to drink, because otherwise, people would drink to much.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I actualy quite like the taste of Sambuca
I just don't like the waking up the morning after. Maybe thats where I'm going wrong. I should get like, aversive behaviour training to make me hate the stuff.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Or just stop sleeping?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:58, Reply)

This is proably the way forward.
Also, no sleep means more time to do stuff!
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:01, Reply)

ohmegosh ! ohmegosh ! Ballie !
Oh man, how are you doing? I can't believe you're posting on here finally, never mind now, you're here now.

I'm not entirely sure who you are, but you seem like the kind of person who'll put on his/her left shoe on after putting on the right and take them off in the oppersite order at the end of the night, and quite frankly, that's the kind of person a guy like me can get along with.

I've not read the rest of this thread, if you haven't told us all everythign about yourself (but not that, we only just meet, can't be giving up that kind of info on a first thread).
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I have just been looking at my profile
and discovered that I've posted 400 stories to QOTW - obviously that also includes threads I've started on OT.

I didn't realise I'd been that prolific, especially as I hardly ever post these days.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I looked at mine yesterday
I've started almost 900 and posted almost 14000 replies. I'm a big loser.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:01, Reply)

i will be 7 in b3ta years
in just over a month.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:50, Reply)

MORNIN ALL!!!!! WAKE UP! *bash bash bash*
I wasn't going to pop in here but I had to log into my computer to tell Gonz about the chicken scratching on Satuarday Kitchen!

(I too am obsessed by food)

Hello new person :)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Morning people
I had my favourite coat stolen last night and to make matters worse, wrote a really grammatically retarded status update about it on Facebook. For I am a mong.

With line breaks.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:07, Reply)

i bought a coat yesterday
and it makes me look cool. Probably. I've not written a Facebook update on it yet, though. You guys get to hear first
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I feel honoured :)

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:34, Reply)

What kind of coat?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Full length navy Combie
That I inherited through a couple of generations. Probably fairly expensive. I'm hoping someone just picked up the wrong one last night and takes it back, there was a plethora of big navy coats at that place.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Do you mean Crombie?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:40, Reply)

Damn my spastic hands
I do indeed.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:43, Reply)

So, you look like Captain Jack Harkness?
Saviour of Dr Who for the gay crowd.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:46, Reply)

But gayer
According to the missus anyway.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:51, Reply)

:(
I thought you were going to describe some arsewipe modern coat, and I could say "Shut up, at least it wasn't a Crombie!"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:44, Reply)

:(
Sadly not. Still, I had my wallet, keys and phone on my person so still got all of them. Now I'm off out for bagels :)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Enjoy dude

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Sorry to hear about that.
The coat that is. We all make grammatically retarded status updates.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 14:48, Reply)

you're maginally less likely to be
called a cunt for no reason round here
which is mostly a good thing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:23, Reply)

That's right but only on weekends
Weekends are being nice times, we recharge our batteries ready for the hurlyburly of the week.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Wow
That's a lot to take in....

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone, even you Gonz!
(Baile_Atha_Cliath is new to this b3ta nonsense, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 11:57, Reply)

I probably missed it, but who is your other half?
also, there's not really a hierarchy. it's more of a jumbled heap.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Other Half
He isn't on here - more of a lurking menace...
(Baile_Atha_Cliath is new to this b3ta nonsense, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:23, Reply)

ooOO
we're being WATCHED!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:32, Reply)

*puts clothes on*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:45, Reply)

*lowers binoculars*
*pulls up trousers*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 17:50, Reply)

As you can see, you can start a thread, but you can't control it
Other tips include:
Never ever ever take insults personally.
Don't go moody if you get no replies, we may all be having a simultaneous dump.

Have fun.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:08, Reply)

How do you pronounce your name?
I know what it means, but my uncle was the one who taught me, and he also told me Wales was Crimroo in Welsh...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:12, Reply)

I don't know what it means
but was too polite to ask.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:13, Reply)

It's Irish for Dublin
It's Irish for Dublin I think.
Well that's what my uncle said. And he said literally translated it means Blackpool. But I'm sure the new person will piss him/herelf and put me straight

Right, gtg, grandad's birthday and I'm not dressed!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Cheers Roots

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Dublin
Does indeed translate to "black pool" and is the Irish for my hometown.
(Baile_Atha_Cliath is new to this b3ta nonsense, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Can you tell me how to pronounce it?
Ta like :)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Quick Lesson
Sort of: Bal-yeh Awe-hah Clee-ah

Does make more sense in an Irish accent ;-)
(Baile_Atha_Cliath is new to this b3ta nonsense, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Thanks
I'm awfully glad it's not bal-atter-clatt...

I've just burnt my left nip on the hairdrier :)
I leant forward to F5 and the nozzle got me.
And me dad's on his way and I'm not ready and I'm wasting my time here as usual.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:41, Reply)

POIDH

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Oh aye yeah!
Go and run!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:50, Reply)

5 facts about you now
or I turn on you.
(PsychoChomp, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Baile's quaking, Chompy...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Baile-Me...
Ohhh, um....

I'm a girly - with the bits to prove it
I hate boybands
I have something of an odd sense of humour
I can't spell to save my life
and I spend far too much time at work, when I should be out enjoying myself.

Will that do?
(Baile_Atha_Cliath is new to this b3ta nonsense, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Chompy owns your arse now
You should never tell him anything
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:47, Reply)

This is very true.
That was her first mistake.
(PsychoChomp, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Yes, welcome to offtopic,
it's fun.
(PsychoChomp, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Good morning. It's 5.10am here
and I too am hungover but couldn't sleep.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Greetings BAC
Welcome to QOTWOT. This place is inhabited mostly by people who are understimulated at work (and the odd unemployed person). Sooner or later, we gradually drift off to the graveyard known as the interesting job and post less.

OffTopic is what you make of it. The only tip I'll offer is to just be yourself.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Yes
but I would still be here in the evening even if my job was interesting.
I promise.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Welcome!
I used to be here a lot but now I have a job so I don't watch so much Jeremy Kyle or post here as much.

Most people here are lovely.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 23 Jan 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Failte.
Welcome to the land of the lost where the talk is mostly about griddle-pans and food, breasts, how Bono/Bowie is shite, inebriation plans and insulting each other in new and creative ways.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 17:42, Reply)

You spell of tubes

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 18:31, Reply)

Welcome/yosoko
I'm usually last to post as my daytime is most peoples night time.
(knackerz is skinning up, Sun 24 Jan 2010, 2:46, Reply)