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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Broken Superman wants me to send Roota a picture of my cock
All votes will be counted and possibly ignored
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:22, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
do it
or I'll get you with my laser-pointer eyes
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:23, Reply)
I'm surprised you can type, hands as sweaty as they are.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:25, Reply)
who are these people DiT?
what do they want from us?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:26, Reply)
They're LOLWAKI, Vipros.
It's a new dawn.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:29, Reply)
great
two things I hate more than almost everything else. change, and dawn.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:29, Reply)
Kaol?

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:44, Reply)
naturally he can consistently be found hovering around the top of the charts

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:48, Reply)
as opposed to tedious
and superior?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:30, Reply)
I suppose someone else being superior to you must be rather tedious

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:33, Reply)
everybody is superior to me
it makes me cry at night
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:34, Reply)
then all is right with the world

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:38, Reply)
Wow, that's really clever.
Why don't you keep encouraging people to send girls pictures of their cocks, online?
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:35, Reply)
will do
if anybody was stupid enough to think that I was seriously suggesting he do that, well then they're just daft
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:36, Reply)
Of course I don't think that you were being serious.
Just saying that it's quite weird for you to be joking about sending a girl a picture of a cock while she's not around. It comes off as a bit stalkerish. Especially if you're new 'round here.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:38, Reply)
Ah, that's not how it was meant
the guy was being a bit weird and stalker-y to that other girl, I just wanted to tip him over the edge into the realms of full-blown internet weirdom. Apologies for any offence caused, particularly if she actually does get a photo of his cock in her mailbox
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:42, Reply)
She'd fucking love it.
Maybe.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:43, Reply)
Then everybody's happy
where did that thing go? Somebody wrote something and I replied to it, but now it's gone?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:44, Reply)
They'll have deleted it, I reckon.
This has confused me on many occasions.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:45, Reply)
buggeration
somebody said that I should ignore you, I clicked 'I like this' and everything
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:46, Reply)
WHO SAID THAT I SHOULD BE IGNORED?
I'm excellent online, me.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:48, Reply)
I'm all about polar opposites today.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:50, Reply)
Again, that was me.
Don't ignore DiT, he's the backbone of our entire civilisation.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:49, Reply)
then why the deletion?
are you trying to ruin my first proper day here? Are you?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:51, Reply)
It didn't work as well as I'd hoped
and he got in before me. If I delete I try to delete really quickly so noone notices.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:56, Reply)
Fucking spot on.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:52, Reply)
I can assure you
That my cock is going nowhere. I opened up the thread as a joke. That being the point of the board... no?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:43, Reply)
No
no jokes here. You disgust me. I'm so angry I could almost crush a paper cup
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:45, Reply)
YOU MUSN'T
if you do they'll have to chop down another rainforest to make more
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:46, Reply)
I think we're being frowned upon
for posting too much and trying too hard to be 'humourous', let's just let them have their little wobble and we'll all get over it with handjobs and viennetta
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:46, Reply)
post as much as you like
you're right about the trying too hard bit though

vienetta and handjobs however, are exactly the language you need to be speaking
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:46, Reply)
got a bit carried away with myself there
this whole being new thing is a little terrifying if I'm honest
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:47, Reply)
What?
We can't have people posting whatever they like whenever they like. What do you think this is? A democracy?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:48, Reply)
good point
YOU WILL SAY NOTHING!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:50, Reply)
It's a slippery slope
Before you know it people will be talking about football.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:09, Reply)
I enjoyed it while it lasted
(Did you see Rooney stamping on that other player last night? Scandalous)
(TheColonel, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:26, Reply)
Surely
the two in combination would be counter-productive?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:49, Reply)
you have a lot to learn my boy!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:50, Reply)
I'm not asking you to teach me
However nicely you ask
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:53, Reply)
I wasn't offering
I'm not a good teacher. no patience
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:54, Reply)
My bad.
I linked the main question up to Off Topic yesterday and since then we've been invaded by inbreds.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:30, Reply)
Send this one back please
He is really really really annoying.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:34, Reply)
This isn't just some catalogue of doom where you can send things back if they don't fit.
Besides, let them be. They're making you and me look fucking great.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:35, Reply)
Too true
Normally I'm completely shit on this, but I may even reach the popular page with people like him on board.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:39, Reply)
Bitter bastards
Aren't you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:41, Reply)
in what way was that bitter?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:42, Reply)
Not you
The others. Again, a joke
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:44, Reply)
*sigh*
I know it wasn't aimed at me
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:46, Reply)
This is though
You're a limping fucknut

HA
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:49, Reply)
I'm not limping
yet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:50, Reply)
Ugh
I give up
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:52, Reply)
VICTORY

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:53, Reply)
a pyrrhic one at best

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:55, Reply)
Someone likes the Manic Street Preachers

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:56, Reply)
ha
I really fucking hate the manic street preachers
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:58, Reply)
No-one uses the word "phyrric"
Except the Manic Street Preachers, and people who really like the Manic Street Preachers. It's been proven by clever scientists
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:02, Reply)
I didn't even know they had a song/album with the word in it

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:03, Reply)
the limp has mostly gone
I looked like a right fucking cretin when it happened though. Strolling along minding my own business and then:

SMACK!
Me: "ARGH FOR FUCK'S SAKE! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!"
Strangers: "mumble mumble"
Me: *limps off up the road, gasping and reeling*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:52, Reply)
Stop reliving it on here
I can't take any more laughing!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:53, Reply)
I'm glad someone is getting pleasure from my pain
it's like that time last year when you and I got together with those whips and spiked paddles....

*nostalges*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:55, Reply)
This guy particularly
seems like he needs a little lie-down, and maybe a cuddle
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:42, Reply)
Me or Darth?
I'm just enjoying myself.

The oppressed always kick downward.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:48, Reply)
Bartleby has already experienced my noobiness this morning
Thanks to his advice I have learned not to apologise for anything ever again

Evil laugh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:50, Reply)
I see
I did mean you, you seemed to be getting a little worked-up, and we all know that the internet isn't the place for serious business
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:50, Reply)
Sockpuppet, straight out of the box.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:52, Reply)
Someone Gaz the mods!

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:56, Reply)
eh?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:56, Reply)
You're a second account for a regular user.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:00, Reply)
I can assure you that this is my only account
but I've been a lurker for yeeeears
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:01, Reply)
This is R and R for me

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:55, Reply)
I've got a massive cock

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:27, Reply)
I'm so glad that redexes for me.
I also hope that it is supposed to, that being the joke.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:31, Reply)
Looks like you've got filtering, whereever you are
Nope, the image is completely SFW.

I'll stick it on imageshack.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:32, Reply)
it's a good one :-)

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:32, Reply)
Although older than time itself.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:34, Reply)
Yeah, I've got that as a coaster
Seriously. A friend got it for me as a 30th birthday present. I can see it right now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:41, Reply)
I'd like to see some kind of steeple chase involving these

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:34, Reply)
You mean guys riding large cocks?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:56, Reply)
WHAT THE FUCK!
I LOL'd, I must say.
My inbox remains cock-free...

I feel special now. I've been away all morning and there's a full-scale Cock-gate going on upon my return!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:57, Reply)
you've already got mine...

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:59, Reply)
Ssshhh

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:15, Reply)
You have men fighting over you.......................ON THE INTERNET.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 12:59, Reply)

over
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:02, Reply)
I've made it, BGB, I've finally made it!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:14, Reply)
They'll have to get past me first.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:17, Reply)
No chance

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:21, Reply)
What exactly does getting past you constitute?
Cos I'm not particularly agile
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:29, Reply)
THIS WAS ALL HIS IDEA
Sending people pictures of my cock is more of a third date thing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:04, Reply)
You suave bastard!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:06, Reply)
Pfffft
apologies to you, roota, and anyone else who doesn't want me encouraging cock photos online
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:06, Reply)
Busted
I am absolved of blame and accusations of sex-pestery

IN MY MIND
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:07, Reply)
I couldn't give a shite
I'll award marks for originality though
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:14, Reply)
You mean like dressing up one's cock
like some kind of filthy cockpuppet?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:16, Reply)
unless you are referring to Bert
then that has already been done. you will never top Hitlercock
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:17, Reply)
The name suggests
that I'd be better off not trying
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:18, Reply)
you'd be right there

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:19, Reply)
It was bound to happen eventually

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:21, Reply)
small office lol
at the remeberance of "Knitler"
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:31, Reply)
Yes
Or maybe putting scenery along it and making it look like the arizona dessert
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:22, Reply)
Arizona dessert?
Like some hideous cock cheesecake? In Arizona?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:23, Reply)
Aw balls!
I really try to never make that mistake.
Dessert it is. Points for cheesecake. But not knobcheese, please.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:24, Reply)
Ah
Mascarpone is expensive
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:30, Reply)
Pffft.
Cock done up like a Joshua Tree. Ooops, that would be Bono.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:36, Reply)
ten points

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 13:37, Reply)

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