Three guys just knocked on our door to tell us there was an unconscious man in our front yard.
We called the ambulance and everything. Turned out he was very, very, very drunk but he started breathing okay and the ambulance car turned up and sorted him out. Five years ago someone overdosed on the pavement outside my house and I had to do the same phone-ambulance-cover-with-blanket stuff. Don't know if she lived though. But my house is like a magnet for the unconscious.

In other exciting news today: catfaceceilidhbaby is a girl. Girl geek quotient ++
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:09, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

what if she rebels against you and becomes...
...bom bom booooooom...

a non geek? Or a Normal?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:13, Reply)

I'll take away her pocket money and ground her 'til she learns Python.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:14, Reply)

^
This
(CheatingRabbit, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 19:54, Reply)

Or
until she learns to translate between two or more foreign languages without thinking in English.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 20:14, Reply)

they're trying to prepare you for when your sprog is old enough to be bad

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:18, Reply)

This is very true

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:20, Reply)

I know. That's why I said it.
Now I'm gonna put my hands up, they're playing my song, the butterflies fly away. Noddin' my head like yeah, movin' my hips like yeah.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:29, Reply)

replyin' to yer post
like yeah
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:30, Reply)

That's No. 1 of the 7 things I hate about you.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:30, Reply)

don't stop there, please enlighten me

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:39, Reply)

I'm only kidding, I couldn't really hate you
It's just internet banter right?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:44, Reply)

well I figured, I was just curious to see what other things you had to list as lolwacky as you are

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:57, Reply)

There's no need to be mean.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:58, Reply)

are you feeling okay?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 20:06, Reply)

Wooo, a girl, the best babies are girls.
I was one once.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:22, Reply)

OMG! Me too!

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:23, Reply)

That is beyond coincidence!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:25, Reply)

Are you two sure you're not related?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:27, Reply)

We must be...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:29, Reply)

I'll bet you've both got vaginas as well.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:31, Reply)

OMG! You as well?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:34, Reply)

VAGINAS ALL ROUND!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:35, Reply)

I thought they were more kind of slit shaped
and only became round when things were going through them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:50, Reply)

How refreshingly literal

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:54, Reply)

Well, yes
but I don't like to talk about it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:35, Reply)

*imagines catface in a dress*

( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:23, Reply)

The best thing is
there is now going to be a baby girl who is bigger than catface.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:24, Reply)

I can't wait until she realises it's wrong to use her pen to draw on the wall...but it's OK to draw on Dad.
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:30, Reply)

I shall be encouraging this at every opportunity
through the medium of "learning by example"
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:35, Reply)

We should totally hire out Beekers for the job of marker pen tester.
/weekend reference.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:42, Reply)

aw, bless 'im

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:43, Reply)

Hmmm...baby with a monocle. I like this.

( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:46, Reply)

It would be rather classy.
Then they could dress baby up in a little dinner jacket, sit her on their knee and pretend she's Lord Charles. The long winter nights would just fly by.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:49, Reply)

I slept for ten hours last night.
This is a Very Long Time for me.
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:52, Reply)

I didn't.
Went to bed at 3.30, got up at 9.30. I am absolutely fucked. Damn people for turning up on the doorstep for fun weekends.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:53, Reply)

Did Clueless Bill actually successfully get a bus this time?

( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:55, Reply)

Well, I left him at the bus station in Newcastle at 1.15 this afternoon
And I haven't had a phone call, so I'm assuming that yes, he did.

Bless him. Public transport mishaps all the way - his train back into Morpeth yesterday was delayed because of a suspected bomb on the platform!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:56, Reply)

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaaaaa
At Morpeth?
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaaaaaaaa...Spak probably left his sleeping bag on the platform.
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 19:00, Reply)

At Newcastle.
It turned out that it was just somebody's abandoned suitcase.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 19:09, Reply)

Bloody Beekers.
Lazy bastard.
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 19:14, Reply)

Between the lot of us
we can create a trail of luggage all the way from Morpeth to London.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 20:12, Reply)

CHCB could sit one on each knee.
Double act!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:53, Reply)

I'm going to make an awesome Dad
Why it was only this morning that CHCB was telling me off for proclaiming "I make sexy children." That's right all you paedophiles... my children are sexy as fuck.
( Captain V, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:58, Reply)

You will be a father to look up to.
Until she turns three. Then I'm afraid that you're gonna need a stool to stand on.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 19:00, Reply)

Best post EVAH!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 19:03, Reply)

Boo for him but yay for catfacecelidhgirl
What are you going to call her?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:31, Reply)

My vote is for
Catfaceceilidhgirl
( djtrialprice, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:33, Reply)

I second this motion

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:34, Reply)

I third it
but only because I'm fuming that catfaceceilidhbabe didn't catch on round here.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:42, Reply)

Maddy.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:35, Reply)

Is that because she already answers to it?
Has she got a funny coloured eye too?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:36, Reply)

And an aversion to tapas.
If it was a boy we were thinking of the name Baby P.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:38, Reply)

Well thank God it's a girl
Because me and my mate Mark are calling our boy Baby P.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:41, Reply)

My suggestions
Katrina Felicity or Kaylee Hannah

Surely you lot can do better than this.

Oh, and felicitations!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 20:11, Reply)

Congratulations!!
There's enough blokes in the world. A crackhouse baby girl is going to be awesome.
( girlinthehole, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:56, Reply)

Congrats on the kid
Had something similar happen when I was walking to lecture once. Saw someone unconcious on their front path by the main road. After waking them they said they were on a bar crawl and "me mate will be back inaower." Called police, left my name and then went to lecture. Never did get a follow-up call
( Jinxy13 is hating the S key, right about now., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 19:40, Reply)

Congrats
And scan poidh
(CheatingRabbit, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 19:57, Reply)

When I worked for the NHS
I found a man from the, ahem, 'secure' ward, in a bush. He had attempted suicide by cutting his wrists with a broken saucer. 2 days later he tried to hold up the WVS shop with a piece of broken saucer. Seems a broken saucer was his M.O.

And WOO, of course.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 20:29, Reply)