Bored of that now.
Cast your mind back to the early days of the internet.
Now imagine that we're back there and this question is acceptable again.

A/S/L????
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:50, 94 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'll start 26/m/Milton Keynes.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:51, Reply)

24/m/London
OMG no way we shud totaly m33t up n hav sex
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:52, Reply)

25/M/Caithness
Wanna cyber?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:52, Reply)

No, I'm not gay.
In fact I'm putting everyone who answers as "m" on ignore.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:53, Reply)

About time too

PSYCHOCHOMP IS A BENDER.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:54, Reply)

You will be very lonely and only have men pretending to be women left to talk to

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:55, Reply)

oh man I totally remember woah back in the day when I was like 13 and my friend and I were all up on AOL chat
cause that was the cool thing and some person was all "wanna cyber?" and we're like whats that, okay, and they were all "sit on my face" and we look at each other like wtf and why would we do that
oh man, innocence lost
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:26, Reply)

May have been me

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:31, Reply)

29/M/London
EDIT: OR AM I?!?!?!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:53, Reply)

I didn't think you were that old.
but it is possible.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:54, Reply)

14/F/an 18th birthday party

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Pffft!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Do you wanna be in my gang?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:54, Reply)

He's about to give his finger a good sniff there.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:06, Reply)

21/Pedo/stcicky fingers

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:55, Reply)

34/M/Milton Keynes.
Wanna fuck?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:53, Reply)

No,
are you really in MK or are you lying online?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Ten miles as the crow flies.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:55, Reply)

f
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Why crows?
Are other birds renound for their inability to fly in a straight line?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Fucking pigeons are always weaving around.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:58, Reply)

drunk basterds
It's all that tramp shit they eat
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

you really are
my favourite poster today
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Very kind, I really should be working
in fact I have a meeting right now, later!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:03, Reply)

but
it is normally those thieving magpie bastards round MK...........
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I don't remeber this,
although my first experiences of the internet involved googling foreign words for ladies naughty bits in order to get around the schools filters.

Anyway 28/m/Laandan
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:54, Reply)

ha
guy in my class used to gather all the foreign language dictionaries solely for that purpose
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

14.5/F/An 18YO Birthday Party
*edit* Fuck bindun!

Anyways 28/M/Cornwall
( Peej, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:55, Reply)

slow




replying
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Some of us do a tiny bit of work
whilst spending their whole day on B3ta. I also made the newbie error of replying before I read.
( Peej, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Introduction of the "I am working with the suggestion the other party is not" argument

always ends in shittyness
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:58, Reply)

yeh well YM

( Peej, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Just a friendly warning
and my Mum isn't working today she's on the late shift with Denise and Crystal
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:02, Reply)

No such thing as a friendly warning, you are now my mortal internet enemy.
I shall not rest until you are bought to justice.

HONDAACCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD
( Peej, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:04, Reply)

18/M/Dad's car
Wanna lift?

edit - Ballsacks
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

28/m/Exeter
I win
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

You lose at Exeter because you have a popped collar and mini

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:01, Reply)

no
because I don't go to uni here.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:02, Reply)

32/F/Liverpool
Wanna go twocking?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

32F?
Sounds like you are quite well endowed!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:02, Reply)

I was once a 30E

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:04, Reply)

One of my mates
has a thing for 'skinny birds with big tits'.

That sounds just up his street!

(Notwithstanding the fact that he's happily married with a kid these days)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Most blokes do.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:24, Reply)

27/f/thattherelondon

(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

You don't live in London anymore!
You live with the biggest collection of books I have ever seen in my life.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Ah yes. But I still work here. I can see the Goodge St tramps from my window.
And that picture was taken after a good 1/3 of the books had already been shelved and were thus out of shot.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Since we're back before any of this stuff became stale
5/f/a holiday resort in portugal ... then a shallow grave
(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

There's a maddie joke section of the fail archive.
Thought you should know.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:58, Reply)

You're the one who said old shit like a/s/l was acceptable.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:02, Reply)

How many people have you fucked that you met off the internet and how long did it take after meeting them?

( Peej, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

One, and about two hours.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:03, Reply)

You promised you'd never tell!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:05, Reply)

*waggles eyebrows*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:07, Reply)

define met off the internet?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:09, Reply)

It's like "met on the Internet" but with poor grammar
But yes someone you first spoke to on the Internet and later met in real life.
( Peej, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Well 5 then,
but a couple were either friends of friends or on my course at uni. I just spoke to them first on the internet.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Four
and Weeks
(bill, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Are we including those from punternet ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Shit, I can't do this
*tries*

51/M/Luton
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:00, Reply)

This could only be more depressing if the middle letter was H

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Why?
Have I made a faux pas? What would H mean? Oh god, I know nothing about the way you youffs speak.

Don't laugh at me.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I'm guessing the H would mean you have both.

( Peej, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Would that be so bad?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:19, Reply)

depends
Dante Hicks: Hey, whatcha rent? "Best of Both Worlds"?
Randal Graves: Hermaphroditic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box. Beautiful chicks with dicks that put mine to shame.
Dante Hicks: And you rented this?
Randal Graves: Hey, I like to expand my horizons.
( Peej, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:25, Reply)

It's my birthday on Saturday
I'll be 25. Send cake
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:05, Reply)

I'm twenty three now but will I live to see twenty four, the way things are going, I don't know.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Is that Coolio???

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:08, Reply)

yes yes yes

(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Yeah', I guess the song is quite coolio.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Julio

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:16, Reply)

I'm going to the park later with my mum to hopefully see some dogs because I spent 4 hours studying the Japanise Food Menu, including making documentation as to what exactly I wanted.
And at the end of the four hours, I made a desision to not make a desision and got some noodles from the chinese across the road, I may have had two mouth fulls and then went to bed, I didn't want any food, but normal people eat food, and I wanted to be normal, so I got them.

I had about 15 things to do this week, I achieved none of them.

Maybe tonight I'll have some japanise foods instead with my mum, so I can show her what 'good' sushi is all about.

//edit//
I started looking at the menu, studying it, at about 5ish, and I finished at about 9ish.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:24, Reply)

I'm still scared of sushi

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Sushi is awesome.
It's got a bad rep because people equate all sushi with raw fish, when really it's a very minor part of it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:26, Reply)

32/M/Zummerzet
North Zummerzet to be precise
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:09, Reply)

27/m/chichester
There. Do you feel you know me better now?! No! Because no one does HAHAHAHHAHAHA
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:12, Reply)

my grandparents live in chichester

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:14, Reply)

i've lived here for a very long time
i may finally be getting out this year
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:15, Reply)

good luck

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:20, Reply)

cheers!

(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:23, Reply)

27/F/Frahn Rahl

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:21, Reply)

39/M/Office.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:24, Reply)

28/M/London
But I don't think this question was ever acceptable!
(bill, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:25, Reply)

oh dear
I think it might be the 2nd time I have ever typed this number in relation to myself but here goes!
Recently 40/F/Milton Keynes (but live elsewhere in lovely Leighton be Buggered))
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Leighton Bastard you mean.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:52, Reply)

ha
you must have tried to drive through it then...
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:16, Reply)

Often
Thank Christ for the A505.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Sadly and most infuriatingly
I get caught up in school run traffic and it takes me 20 minutes to get to the A5 some days...
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 15:46, Reply)

35/M/Cambridge
(and reckon I could give The Empress a run for her money on the library front)
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:03, Reply)

21/M/Macclesfield
Ha, you're all really old.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Fuck off you embryo

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Fossil

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 17:00, Reply)

107/F/In a world of pain

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:11, Reply)

bored WITH

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 16:13, Reply)

39/M/Marbella
Am I too late to get into the hot sex action?
( broadsword, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 17:04, Reply)