As I'm sure none of you know, I'll fill you in
My (now ex)housemate lost his job last week. He was already looking at moving away in the next few months, meaning I'd have time to sort out somewhere else to live. Irritatingly, this was brought forward due to a stupid disciplinary at work. Basically, they were going to blame every single issue of the last 3 months on him, because he's been promoted to one of the supervisors.

He decided he was so confident he was going to get sacked, he wasn't even going to show up for the disciplinary. This has pissed me off no end, as he basically gave up. I've been in his position before, but I still had the guts to show up, and managed to keep my job after making my position clear.

Ah well, either way, he's fucked off back to his Mum's now leaving me with all the bills. Luckily my parents have found a possible lodger for me, I'm meeting him tonight. We've already agreed rent & bills, so as long as he's not a complete tosser, I'm going to ask him to move in.

My question is this, what questions should I ask him? I've already going to ask about if he's a smoker, if he's a militant christian, and if he's a vegetarian. Any others?

As ridiculous as you like, I want to fully get to know the lad.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:43, 59 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Do you prefer to give or receive?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Do you like Bono?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Ask if he's got a long term girlfriend,
you may have an extra person around.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:47, Reply)

That's just sensible

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:48, Reply)

^This with nobs on
there's nothing quite like being made to feel unwelcome in your own flat because your flatmate wants to play house with his girlfriend.

Grrr.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Or coming home to the sounds of her
screaming the fucking house down EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN DAY
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Sexeh screaming or argument screaming?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Loud girls are loud what ever they're doing.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Really?
the one in the boot of my car seems to have shut up
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:03, Reply)

ask whether he likes to put an unnatural amount of grated cheese on all his meals
that was the last straw with my housemate.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Ha! A past housemate had a pop at me for doing that.

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I think it was everything else that he did first
which made it so bad that everything he did annoyed me after that. He turned me into a psycho, I was yelling at him for eating cheese!!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:10, Reply)

plus it was my cheese

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Bastard
thank gawd I live on my own now, nobody can steal my cheese. Ewwwww
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:16, Reply)

He used to drink a pint of milk every morning as well
even if there was only a pint in the fridge. It was usually my milk as he never went shopping.

No coffee and no cereal makes Kitty something something
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Go crazy?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

On a scale of one to a hundred, how much does your shit stink?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Does he need to buy
Scholl Odour-Eaters in bulk?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Do you tend to masturbate at inappropriate times in appropriate places
and would they mind if you did?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Is there an appropriate place
for inappropriately timed wanking?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:54, Reply)

How does he feel about David Bowie
particularly the "Young Americans" period. Also, does he think that the "Berlin Trilogy" are sonic architecture, or Brian Eno wanking on a synthesiser?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:50, Reply)

If he does love Bowie
ask if he knows Monty from the fanclub meetings
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:52, Reply)

just show him that picture of you in your profile (the sexy one of you in a skirt)
and see if he still wants to move in
if he does, don't let him
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Do you cross dress?
If not, why not?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Breasts or minge?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Favourite film/band/comedian - this could tell you a lot

Also pink or brown?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:53, Reply)

he might not like
snooker
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:57, Reply)

he might not like
shit american female pop artist or heroin
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:00, Reply)

he might not like
Mr Kipling's Fondant Fancies
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Casually mention"b3ta"
and see if he notices it - could be a good indicator of whether or not you'll share the same sense of humour...
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Ha! Ask what colour a CDC should be.
if he says anything other than "Magenta", he's gonna be a nightmare.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:06, Reply)

He might even (*shock! horror!*) ask what a CDC is.
In which case a swift kick in the nuts is surely the only answer.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I suppose there are such people out there who wouldn't know
*shudders*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:13, Reply)

CDC = Center for Disease Control????

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:36, Reply)

or draw one on his face
and tell him to look in a mirror.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:14, Reply)

How would you feel if you popped down to the cornershop
and came back to find a Romanian family making themselves at home in your flat?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:05, Reply)

but the guy might be Romanian
and take offence.

Although asking him if he reads the Daily Mail seriously or ironically should be a top question.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Definitely.
Because by the time he's moved into the room and put up his posters of Melanie Philips and Samantha Cameron, it's probably too late.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I noticed they call her
SamCam. Too many syllables in Samantha Cameron.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:25, Reply)

OMG some woman's pregnant! ARGH!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:27, Reply)

SamCam?
Christ, it's like a nickname for a Page 3 girl...but then let's face it, Nicholas Sarkozy probably only won the last election because his missus was hotter than Ségolène Royal...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:27, Reply)

tell him this joke:
what's the difference between hitler and paula radcliff?

hitler tried to finish the race
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Or, since it caused so much consternation yesterday:
What is the correct pronunciation of "scone"?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:15, Reply)

to rhyme with "gone", shurely?
Although I missed the kerfuffle yesterday, it would appear. What was the eventual winner?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:16, Reply)

"Scoon"
Apparently. (Something to do with it being named after a place whose name is spelt "Scone" but pronounced "Scoon.")

With "sconn" in second place.

My suggestion of that it was pronounced "throatwarbler mangrove" was ignored on account of it being puerile and unhelpful, and Monty was very disparaging about any individuals who pronounce it to rhyme with "cone."
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:18, Reply)

they practically lynched me
when I questioned the pronunciation of meme.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:20, Reply)

"Memmy," wasn't it?
(Or is that just the frontman from the retarded version of Motorhead?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I say it "con", but I read it "own"
i'm a freak
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:18, Reply)

ask him
if he'd ever shag a screamer. unless you have a handy deaf ear or are particularly into aural voyeurism.

but more importantly, ask him how often he washes his clothes and bedding - having lived with both extremes of this, i am not sure which is worse. the squatting pigeon whom i had in my flat for 3 weeks that turned into 9 months (without paying rent, never do your best friend a favour and say her sister can come and stay...) used my washing machine almost nightly. but then i lived with another girl who didn't wash her bedding for the three whole years. it was grey/brown by the end, and it had started off cream.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Have you thought of advertising for a girlie houseperson?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Didn't have time to advertise
I had 3 weeks to get everything sorted.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Have you got a hot younger sister?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:27, Reply)

^this
But what do you do if he says "Yes"?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Ask if she's easy.
Sorry, I mean over sixteen.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Better if you ask 'does she look over sixteen'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Pop your cock out
and put one leg up on the chair. Then just ask him,

"Well?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I don't think any christian thinks they are themselves militant.
even the ones who who burn you at the stake for being a witch.

Don't ask any questions, just stare at him from the other side of the kitchen table. After a minute or two, just say "Where's the body then?"
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:36, Reply)

The table is tempting
But I'm thinking more a question like "...Do you like cake?"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I read that as
"bum you at the stake for being a witch".
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:52, Reply)