I think my musical career has just hit a new low
The singer I've been jamming with these last few months has, I'm already aware, dubious taste in pop music. However, she has a superb voice and the songs she writes are good, so I've given her the benefit of the doubt.

I just received an email from her suggesting a cover we could try to fill time on a set we've got to play in a few weeks' time. The suggestion? Christina fucking Aguliliera*.

Trouble is I'd rather not just say 'no,' without at least having an alternative suggestion. Anyone got any ideas for something that suits a slighly sultry female voice but is a bit less fucking contrived?

*_{I won't dignify it by looking up the correct spelling.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:47, 98 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Black Velvet - Alannah Myles

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Get on!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:50, Reply)

OK!
*gets on*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 13:11, Reply)

NEAR THE TOP
I reckon it should pick an Aguilera song and actually play the fucker, the elitist prick.

It's not like she's called requested something truly offensive like Westlife.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Haha!
Maybe she means it as a bit of a joke. I mean it's still out of order, but you know...

We used to do a miserable acoustic version of Mickey by Toni Basil, and it went down quite well.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:49, Reply)

it's supposed to be ironic innit

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:50, Reply)

No. It really isn't.
I've already been asked, in all seriousness, to look up for the chords for songs by Béyonce and Lady Gaga in the past. Fortunately she forgot all about those suggestions and I made no mention of them.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Chris Daughtry
did an awesome acoustic version of Pokerface

Yes I like Chris Daughtry, no I'm not ashamed as my music taste gets a hell of a lot worse
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:53, Reply)

You're safe as I've never heard of Chris Daughtry
But you might be onto something there. Equipped with nought but an acoustic guitar, there's probably something to be said for working this pile of crap into a respectable acoustic version.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:55, Reply)

his is on youtube
check-check-check it out now!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Hmmm
It's certainly an improvement on the original. Perhaps it's time to get creative.

(Only fair, I guess; I've been trying to convince my blues band that Goldfrapp's Strict Machine could be turned into a really good blues-rock number, but they're still not having any of it.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Yeah, that could work
I love cover versions when they are in a different style and showcase a good song. This is why I really fucking hate Florence and the Machines version of You Got the Love, it's just a shit version of the original, and I'm sure she could have come up with a better way of arranging it to suit her style and it would have been good.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:13, Reply)

I've been working on a cover of "Killed by Death" done in the style of Neil Diamond.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:13, Reply)

And a version of "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson
in the style of Johnny Cash's "When the Man Comes Around".
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I like the idea of doing an acoustic Motorhead number
I don't know if she'll have heard "Damage Case" before...

Trouble with my blues band is that all the covers we used to play were just replications of the original. Our guitarist is an absolute leg-end, and plays them superbly, but he seems to be averse to screwing around with them. I wanted to get on the piano and do a jazz-style version of "The Wind Cries Mary," but he turned his nose up at it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:15, Reply)

sabbath's 'paranoid' works really well as an acoustic number
but maybe not with a female singer
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Ahhhh've, had, the time of my liiiiife...

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

The dirty dancing soundtrack
is all of the awesome
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

It makes me moist.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

You're always moist

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:58, Reply)

It's a gift.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Must come in handy cleaning windows

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:43, Reply)

*squeegees*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:44, Reply)

No, that was
Alanis Morrisette
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

B*witched.
Sheer unadulterated class.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I'm seriously considering suggesting "C'est la Vie" now that you've said that

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Is THAT irony?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Yes.
I think it could be good fun. She might disagree.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:05, Reply)

How about
doing a Jeff Buckley number? Something like Lilac Wine or Last Goodbye? Both quite sultry and the latter shows off a fair range of vocal techniques. I always wondered what they would sound like with a female vocalist.

P.S. I don't really mind Xtina tbh. I think she sings pretty well.

P.P.S. I will stand corrected on the fact that Lilac Wine is a 'Jeff Buckley number'.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Katie Melua
did lilac wine, it's very pretty.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:39, Reply)

i like a couple of aguileria songs
she's a touch warbly but the songs themselves are ok
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:52, Reply)

love will tear us apart
the swans do a great version
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Twisted by Skunk Anansie.
We used to do a lush acoustic cover of it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:54, Reply)

anything by them would be a good vocal test of a singer
she has an amazing voice
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

I was just getting all nostalgic about that album.
Amazon here we come.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:58, Reply)

i am rather surprised she never had a follow up solo career
she was a great singer and had a striking look. i reckon with the right management she could have been a female Seal, only you know, good.
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

S s
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:00, Reply)

arf arf

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Aw, I like Seal.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:02, Reply)

no you don't
no one does

not really
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I do like Heidi Klum though.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:05, Reply)

her last album was SHIT

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Great tits though.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Bit of random trivia for you
My parents' next door neighbour's daughter is currently managing a singer who is the girlfriend of Skunk Anansie's (former?) drummer. Trufax.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

hahaha

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:58, Reply)

By chance my band ended up at the same venue as said singer one night
Apparently this drummer feller was very impressed with our drummer.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

So
you and Skin are close then, huh?
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Alas not
Said neighbour's daughter was not sufficiently impressed to offer to manage my band as well. Methinks it could be some time before any of these connections bear fruit, let alone before I get to hang around with lots of famous types.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Sucks.
I just noticed your sig, which reminded me of being about 8.

How is Pelemar these days?
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I'm relieved that someone else other than IMDB remembers that one!
(I spent ages trying to convince Roota it existed last week.) I was also kind of surprised to find out it was filmed in West London, as my memories of it suggested it was really Welsh. But then I suppose they did call the dragon 'Gorwen.'
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Odd.
I thought it was Welsh, too. Weren't the kids Welsh? Or am I just imagining that?
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Is it possible
that they imported a load of Welsh kids to a school somewhere in the depths of Acton and just set the place up to make it look more Welsh? (You know, just scattered some lumps of coal and leeks around the place?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Well, yeah. I guess.
Improbable though. Maybe this was before a time when Wales had TV studios. You know, like, 20 years ago.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:24, Reply)

total eclipse of the heart

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

No.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:10, Reply)

barbie girl
it's an undiscovered classic
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Yes.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:10, Reply)

'still alive' by jonathon coulton

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:58, Reply)

This!

(bill, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Oh, rather!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:57, Reply)

PS I love you

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:00, Reply)

I um...don't know what to say...
This is...all very sudden...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:09, Reply)

don't say anything
just bend over
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Ok, but turn the lights off first

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Pure and Simple by Hear'say.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:01, Reply)

I saw them do that live.
They were fucking amazing.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Hahaha

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:03, Reply)

google nouvelle vague
they do a great line in covers, although their singer is french which definitely helps
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Isn't their singer
French mentalist-experimentalist Camille? Her solo stuff's really quite good.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:06, Reply)

dunno
i'll have to look into it now
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I was just thinking that

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Serious one here.
Toxic by Britney Spears. Brilliantly-written pop classic and great fun for the bassist.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:04, Reply)

my suggestions are serious!

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Love sensation by Lolita Holloway

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:10, Reply)

anything by Concrete Blonde
fucking superb band with a great female singer
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:18, Reply)

We’re no strangers to love,
You know the rules and so do I.
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of,
You wouldn't get this from any other guy.

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling,
Gotta make you understand…
(bill, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Please this one?

(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:24, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOU8GIRUd_g
(bill, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Something by Joni Mitchell?
Like "Carey" from the album Blue?

Perhaps a spot of Blondie, everybody loves that Hanging on the Telephone number..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:26, Reply)

I hate Blondie

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I love Blondie

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I love breasts....

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:46, Reply)

I love Blondie and breasts

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:46, Reply)

I love Blondie's breasts.

(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 13:22, Reply)

How can anyone hate Blondie?

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:51, Reply)

like this
*exists*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Ella Fitzgerald - 'At Last'
But do it in a twangy, slide-guitar way.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Ah man, that song
I have Etta James doing it.
My friends were going to have that as their first dance and then changed it to 'Something'. Duh.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:42, Reply)

The Etta James version is brilliant.
Maybe do it in a N-Dubz stylee.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Na-na-naaaaaiieeeee

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Oooh...
Might be an excuse for me to get the resonator out.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Storm Large, 8 Miles Wide
Seriously.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Was that the follow up to "River Deep, Mountain High"?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Cracking tune

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 13:14, Reply)

what do you make of the latest Puscifer stuff?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Stormy High by Black Mountain
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGyeJvK65QE&feature=related
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:58, Reply)

Pink
"Sober"
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Speedway have a whicked cover of Genie in a Bottle.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 13:40, Reply)