Threadrush!
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7585500/Family-on-42000-a-year-benefits-because-they-are-better-off-unemployed.html

This is what is currently upsetting my friends via the afternoon email circular.

What's your take?

Alternatively, been sent anything decent via email recently?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:13, 118 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

An Ice Cream van just turned up at the office.
I have never seen so many grumpy people suddenly smile.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:17, Reply)

I'm surprised we haven't had the one round here
it's normally out at the first hint of sunshine
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:18, Reply)

You should get an icecream cone

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:18, Reply)

I spent all my change on lunch :(

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Offer goods and services by way of trade for ice-cream
You know what I'm talking about
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Is your misspelling of 'privileges' an in-joke?
I do hope so.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:29, Reply)

It was
But I've suddenly realised it's not funny
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:42, Reply)

What did you have for lunch?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:32, Reply)

A salad.
edit: does that count as one of your questions?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:35, Reply)

No.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Then you owe me some more questions.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:55, Reply)

I think I should go around there and have angry sex with all of them
even the car and house.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Even the children?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Depends if they've got disabilities or not

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:20, Reply)

One of them has slightly dodgy skin.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I only fuck kids if their legs are facing back to front so when they try and run away they actually jog towards me

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Most bizarre thing
I've read today
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:33, Reply)

...so far
I belive Donkeygums is here for the rest of the day
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Good news.
I am a big supporter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:49, Reply)

That's because you are man-bra.
you hold boobs. for justice.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:50, Reply)

It makes me a bit annoyed
but more with a system that allows and facilitates it than with the people who take advantage
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:18, Reply)

They should both be killed and their children boiled for glue

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:18, Reply)

I love how NakedApe has followed a rational and well-reasoned answer from Amberl
with this
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:20, Reply)

there is no room for rationality and reason in today's society
extreme violence is the only answer
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:21, Reply)

*points Vipros in direction of Michael McIntrye*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:22, Reply)

*advances, menacingly hitting a lead pipe into hand*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:23, Reply)

*gets popcorn*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Ooh I'd watch as well

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Get in line sista *snaps*
Sorry, I decided this thread was a bit too masculine and needed to be more fabulous
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:36, Reply)

this place is at least 7 times more gay with you around
I hope you are proud
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Surely there must be dedicated bumders somewhere in Off Topic?
EDIT: yes, yes I am
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:37, Reply)

not sure about OT
other than Monty (un)naturally
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:40, Reply)

So I'm actually the most fabulous man in the (chat)room?
It's been a while since I could say that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:44, Reply)

I bet he's proud
girlfriend *hand on hip*
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:38, Reply)

menacingly mincingly
a lead pipe engorged member
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:30, Reply)

you have Venezuelan bum disease

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:33, Reply)

So first you bumrape me,
and now I have this to deal with as a consequence as well?

You really are a bounder, old boy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:39, Reply)

in my defence
you look like a woman from behind
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Not just ANY woman, though:
'the roughest you've seen this year'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:43, Reply)

that's going some
you should see some of the "women" one of my mates goes out with...

I have no doubt that you are a better looking woman then them, and I don't know what you look like.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Either way is good
As long as he suffers
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I thought Amberl's comment was stupid
By that reckoning in a country where rape is not illegal, the state is more responsible for night time park bummings than the bummers themselves.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:22, Reply)

it's because their mothers didn't hug them

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:23, Reply)

but their randy uncles sure did.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:31, Reply)

But those people aren't doing anything illegal
so it isn't like rape at all which is illegal. They're milking a system. They're disgusting wastes of space and absolute scum but they're simply taking advantage of a pre-existing system
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:28, Reply)

This sounds like collaboration to me...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:29, Reply)

collaboration?
Are you accusing the family above of being French?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:33, Reply)

"I like this"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Vichy bastards.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:40, Reply)

This is exactly the argument used by the MPs who fiddled their expenses

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Cheeky
I was replying to your deleted message Amberl!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:45, Reply)

It struck me as too long/serious
but if you want it- here it is. Unedited:

The point I'm making is it's not illegal. Which means that if the system did not exist that provided these people with a lifestyle well in excess of what others earn working hard then we wouldn't have a problem. It's pretty simple. There will always be those who cannot work- and they should be looked after properly. There will always be those who *will* not work- and they should be provided for, but to a minimum standard with incentives provided for getting back into the work system.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:47, Reply)

People who will not work should be left to starve, they made their choice.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:54, Reply)

10/10

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Meh cheaper than putting 7 kids into care.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:21, Reply)

the thing that most gets to me is that they spend £2k on christmas presents
assuming that is equally spread between 9, it's over £200 each.

I never got anywhere near that spent on me!

Why didn't my parents go on benefits. the dumb bastards!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:23, Reply)

I'm assuming your parents weren't retards.
And were quite capable of making over £15,000 a year each.
(this is worked out on the stuff they wouldn't be entitled to if they worked, they'd still get child benefit, carers allowance and disability benefit)
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:27, Reply)

well, dad was a lawyer
and mum didn't work...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:29, Reply)

That explains the smug

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:36, Reply)

But not the chinflange

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:37, Reply)

to clarify
he worked for the CPS, so we didn't actually have much money. and what we did have he spent on boats. rubbish ones.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Ha, my father did much the same.
He also squandered THOUSANDS on near-identical striped shirts, and at one point we discovered he had something like 20 coats.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:51, Reply)

mine changed car too often to be sensible
fair play to him though, his job was stressful as fuck. He left criminal defence and we moved to devon 20 odd years ago. He probably would've died from stress if we hadn't.

Still the paycut from private firm criminal solicitor in Uxbridge to CPS in Devon must have been a hell of a shock.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:56, Reply)

7 doomed children £42000/year
1 large sack £7
2 concrete blocks £26

The prevention of more children being taken into care, priceless
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:24, Reply)

10/10

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Double validation, I feel all dead warm inside
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:31, Reply)

What you do, you get him to get a stiffy and to stand at the bottom middle of a bridge.
Then you get two bricks and some string, attach them, both strings being attached to the middle of the bridge, and the bricks at each end. Drop them so they swing down in an arch and meet in the middle, just at the height of his penis.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Take the kids from them and give them to childless middle class couples.
Who can turn them into valued members of society.
Then evict the parents and review their benefits.

(Answer courtesy of The Daily Mail: A Solution.)
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:27, Reply)

I think I should rate every response on here out of 10 for retardedness.
8/10
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I think I deserve a 10
for seriousness on the internet :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:30, Reply)

I demand the retained 2 for failed irony.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I wouldn't want to take any of those kids.
Genetics will out.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Gas the lot of them.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Yeah, what a shower.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Sit down everyone, I'll explain why this isn't reported in good newspapers.
1) It's source is closer magazine
2) It combines benefits they would get anyway with ones they get for not working.
3) Take away those and it's more like £28,000 for 9 people to live on. Or £60 per person per week.
4) I wouldn't be suprised if one or both of the parents are either mentaly ill or retarded.
5) It's deliberatly inflamatory.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:43, Reply)

so the Telegraph gets some of its articles from Closer?
oh dear...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:47, Reply)

You're making assumptions that you have no proof of.

If people will not work on purpose they should be left to starve. they made the choice to not provide for themselves.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:47, Reply)

There is evidence for every single one of those points in that article.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:48, Reply)

There is no mention of mental illness
the man is capable of working, but he decided one day he copuldn't be arsed anymore, ergo tey have decided to not support themsleves we should not support them. They are using their children as a shield which makes them scum. And they are Welsh.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:53, Reply)

See below.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Exactly.
Point 4 proven by number of kids. You've got to be mental to want that many.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I was thinking more like the quote.
"don't feel bad about being subsidised by people who are working."
That massive lack of empathy could indicate something along the autistic spectrum or any number of other mental/development problems.

Yeah that's right, I just diagnosed autism online.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Or he could just be a complete shithead.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:55, Reply)

It was the wife who said it.
either way, I think in such a bizarre situation the possibility of mental illness should have been at least investigated in the article.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:57, Reply)

There is no suggestion that they are QOTWs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:56, Reply)

I reckon it's more of an attitude problem rather than autisim.
That they themselves were bought up in a family that sponges off the state, so they think it's acceptable to the general population. She even claims that she wants to get away from living in a council estate, but they apparently don't want to put any of the effort involved. Some of the kids will rebel against such an attitude, but most of their kids will probably do the same thing.

The reason why The Telegraph have picked up on this is because (1) the reporter can't think up something to write about and his wife mentioned it and (2) a lot of people think it's indictive of the times we live in.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:59, Reply)

actually I'm one of seven :)
And yes my parents work (though my mother is currently a housewife she is writing her second novel, and my dad is a teacher.)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:52, Reply)

From this I conclude that you are Catholic and a pedo, I dare you to prove me wrong!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:56, Reply)

It must be nice
having a box for every person
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:59, Reply)

I like to keep my prejudices nicely filed away, makes them easier to find in emergencies online

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:01, Reply)

No, I gave up checking my email a looong time ago.
I do have to email a lecturer to explain why I gave up going to his lectures. I'm claiming the illness that made me bedridden for a week and pretty damn ill another week after that. And then that I was too lazy to come to the last one.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:47, Reply)

really?
my lecturers didn't give a shit if you didn't go

it's your loss if you fail
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:48, Reply)

That's because whenever you did attend,
you were holding the rest of the class back with your retarded questions. Also some of the female students objected to your chronic B.O.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:53, Reply)

B.O. hard on
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:55, Reply)

one of the welsh girls on my course
was noted on several occasions to be manually pleasing herself during lectures.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:02, Reply)

I don't know about that
you wouldn't believe how fucking dim some of the (other) people studying for an MEng in Civil Engineering are.

it boggled the mind

also, I mostly sat next to the girl who became my current long-term gf. I'm sure she would've mentioned a BO issue. or just not gone near me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:01, Reply)

She won't shut up about it to me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:02, Reply)

that's your mum
and she is talking about you
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:02, Reply)

You're going out with my mum?
Good luck mate, she's a lezzer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:04, Reply)

I knew it!
bet she's got one arm as well, and has done a stint inside.

you're Jade Goody's uglier brother.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:04, Reply)

I am marrying the girl I sat next to at Uni this summer
yey for surviving the post uni cull.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:02, Reply)

we got together at the end of uni
my ex fell victim to the cull.

it was a "hold on, we won't be seeing each other once the course is over" moment
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:03, Reply)

It's one half of one lecture blocks out of one bit of this year
that's unlikely to make me fail. Although my first year counts, I'd been to every single one that term before missing them. And I was genuinely ill for two weeks.

I don't think I'll fail this year. I am intending to beast the exams and get a first, but if I work to the standard I have all year, I'll hopefully get a 2:1.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I haven't checked my email in 3 weeks
I'm getting messages asking if I'm dead from my tutor :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Reply answering 'yes, inside'
then paste in some Emo lyrics - you'll be let off the skiving and sent on a course. Sorted.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Wish I could
He's an oldfashioned sort of tutor so he'd just give me a wallop round the head with his cane instead
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:12, Reply)

I've had verious debates with mates and stuff about a Parenting Lisance.
My view is that all families should be able to get an increase in benfits on the bassis of passing yearly examination. Some of my mate's views are sterialisation until they can prove they can provide for their family. Some of my mate's views that the whole idea is wrong.

This is a great book about the whole thing: www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2004/apr/18/politicalbooks.generalfiction
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Meh, there will always be doll scum
but there wont always be Double Decker chocolate bars. Man I love Double Deckers....
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:59, Reply)

they are only good if they have been chilled in the fridge
double deckers too
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:02, Reply)

double deckers space dockers
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Ha!
Benefits with extra Hypothermia (or is it Hyperthermia?). Either way, Double Deckers rock my sad little world.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:06, Reply)

It's the former.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:09, Reply)

It's all Greek to me

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Doll scum?
Barbies dressed as chavs?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:04, Reply)

Is it "dole"? I thought that was a make of bread
ah well, it's been a 12 years since I was on it
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:08, Reply)

No, that's LOAF.

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 17:43, Reply)

i had to double check to make sure i wasn't reading the daily mail.

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:02, Reply)

it was in the Daily Mail as well

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:27, Reply)