Proper Morning Thread
Just how annoying are your neighbours, and have you had any revenge on them for their twattish ways?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 8:43, 152 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My neighbour is a lovely old lady who I live right over the other side of the house from.
My landlady lives next door and she's wonderful. My neighbour at my old place was a fucking miserable BITCH we nick-named Hag-bag Evil Edith and she'd glare at us from her living room window. Not just us, but complete strangers too, visitors she'd never seen before, policemen and bin men alike.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 8:52, Reply)

As for revenge...
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post590017#post590020
It wasn't just glaring. She claimed I'd record loops of sound off the telly and play them back on repeat through the connecting wall all night. I could only wish I'd have thought of doing that. She called in the council to put noise meters in her house because my acoustic guitar playing was louder than her tv would go. The guy from the council actually did that 'crazy crazy cuckoo' motion, circling fingers by the temples and all that.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 8:55, Reply)

It was only is discussion with my ex-housemate last year
it occured to me that my mate who lived there before me and I used to get caned and stay up until 4am writing beats, when he lived there anyway. That'd probably explain her looped music complaint. And the walls were terribly thin. And I think she just liked having something to whine about.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:22, Reply)

When someone moved in to the house on the other side of her
she immediately branded them 'gypsies' even though they were lovely christian charity workers. She'd bang on their door at all hours and complain they were parked slightly in the way of her garage and she couldn't get her car out, even though she only ever took her old sick-coloured Micra out on Tuesdays to go shopping. She made their life a misery until they eventually moved out, leaving a hand-made poster in the window stating 'Anyone moving in please ask lady at number 30 for rules on parking and living here'. Man, she almost melted. It was there for two months.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:35, Reply)

If you're up until 4am off your face and writing beats
don't you think she had a point?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Probably.
That was a year or two before I moved in though. I was mostly well-behaved when I lived there.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I've got lovely immediate neighbours.
But the mongs who live out the back. GRRRR!
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 8:54, Reply)

No revenge on them
Just upsets me when I hear them taking a wee wee out of the first floor window. Spattering onto the grass outside, the noise is something that haunts me.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 8:59, Reply)

one of my neighbours is a woman in late middle-age
aside from not being able to shut her up when you get talking to her, she is pleasant and helpful. The other side are the quietest students on the planet.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 8:59, Reply)

Maybe they're all dead

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:05, Reply)

they are awfully animate for dead people.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:13, Reply)

ZOMBIES!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Zombies?
Edit - Damn!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I live in a huge building but there's only two of us on the top floor
and the other guy is very nice, although the flowers and stuff on his terrace make my empty flower pots look really shoddy so I'm trying to grow sunflowers at the moment. Will is trying to grow cannabis seeds *sigh*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:02, Reply)

If they grow, make sure you get rid of any males asap

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Aren't the female ones the illegal ones?
I've told him if he starts cultivating cannabis I'm leaving him. He didn't seem that bothered.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Yes, Unless he wants to make rope, the male ones are entirely useless.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:39, Reply)

I can make a hemp corset :D
WIN.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:40, Reply)

A bit like the human race.
rope babies
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:43, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Bollocks.
I'd like to see 'chicks' starting WWII. No fucking way.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)

"Oh Hi england, how are you doing? Yeah', it's me france. Listen, I know you saw German using our airspace last week but it meant nothing, it was only way I could get the bitch to shut up..."
"... I'm sorry america, but I'm using my airspace, it's just not convenient at the moment, yeah', maybe next time, sure thing, catch you later ! "
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

'Ciao! Mwah! Mwah!'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Last August we had a BBQ to celebrate mine and Ms Foxtrot's birthday
As we were sat in the garden we were increasingly aware of one of the houses behind ours cranking up the volume, first of conversation, and then the stereo as the day wore on and the kids went to bed. And they had AWFUL music taste. I swear I heard Oasis at one point. And I live in a civilized area. I'd like to tell you that we assembled a colossal sound system to bombard them with some CombiChrist or Mastodon, but I was worried about upsetting the neighbours.

Sorry, is this QOTW?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:04, Reply)

last summer
a house a few doors up had a party in the back garden. The music was probably the loudest I have heard outside a club or gig, at 1:30am and went from screaming death metal to hardcore shit techno followed by a rousing singalong with a recording of "The Wheels on the Bus"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Alright, you win
Say no to drugs, kids
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:21, Reply)

it was baffling
I'm amazed they didn't get shouted at given that I've been told off for sitting in the garden with friends, laughing at normal conversational level at about 10pm.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:29, Reply)

I do odd jobs for my 93 year old neighbour
and she bakes me apple pie.

The old witch that lives below me however is a concentrated ball of spite and misery so intent on complaining she says that she can hear the people 2 floors above her walking around...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:05, Reply)

There's only one "e" in intent
You're really trying to prove a point here, aren't you?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Darth Monty foxcunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:08, Reply)

Oh I like that :-)

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:10, Reply)

It does have a nice ring to it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Mmmmm, foxcunt.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Like a little ginger dog vadge

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:22, Reply)

'she can here '
She can fucking 'HERE'?????



See me. If you don't buck up your ideas your parents will have to be informed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:11, Reply)

yeah that was pretty bad, I claim lack of caffination and crippling undiagnosed dyslexia and mongolisation
*dribbles*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Right, Monty, where are you from?
I ask because if you're a Northerner it completely kippers NakedApe's argument from yesterday
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Quiet you, anyway monty's a decent law abiding Londoner/grammargruppenfuher

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:17, Reply)

At least one of you lot can spell
Maybe it's area-specific. Where are you from?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I use to be able to spell very well.
I don't know what happened. I think I got lazy and old.
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Apparently the receptors in your nose degrade with age.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Every fucking thing on my body is degrading.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Mine sure have.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:30, Reply)

*coughs*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:25, Reply)

?

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:27, Reply)

You've NEVER been able to spell, I'll be bound.
In other words, you are telling a 'Jimmy Hill itchy chin reck-on'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:29, Reply)

I have!!!!!
My grammer has always been a bit iffy but my spelling use to be a hell of a lot better. I blame spell check and my impending alzhiemers.
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:33, Reply)

'GRAMMAR'
'ALZHEIMERS'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Hey! you're lucky I only got one letter wrong on alzheimers.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:39, Reply)

Alzheimers = menopause.
*See yesterday*
Morning all!
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I was going to do this
but I didn't want to spoil your fun
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:46, Reply)

You are most kind.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:48, Reply)

How DARE you?
I was born in Nottingham due my father working at the University there, over the next few years I lived in Lincoln, Windsor, Cheltenham and finally Winchester where I lived for ten years before moving to London. My family are border Scots, however.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Right, so Monty is just as Northern as me
as I was also born in Nottingham of Yorkshire heritage. So it's official. You Southerners are grammar mongs
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Don't tar me with your northern brush, young man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:30, Reply)

it's pronounced broosh up here

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:37, Reply)

I'm sure it is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Not to be confused with brash.
Pronounced ignorant.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:43, Reply)

or brioche
pronounced delicious
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I like the young part

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:41, Reply)

We heard that about you.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Excellent comeback :-)
I genuinely like being referred to as "young", even in jest/sarcasm/open mockery
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:48, Reply)

How old are you?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Old enough.
*dirty old lady grin*
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Mmmmm, gummy.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

31
Are you going to tell me to fuck off?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:12, Reply)

I will if it'll help.
I'm 34. I still feel about 25.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I've never felt, or acted, my age
I'm clinging to the fact that Ms Foxtrot looks about 21 and gets ID'd everywhere she goes

Not EVERYwhere. Pubs, an' that.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:32, Reply)

I fix my neighbour's computer
and he trims our hedges and helps fix our car. What a twat.

*edit* Our old Neighbour was a twat. He used to beat his girlfriend up, we got our revenge by calling the police every time we heard her screaming. They would come and stop it, she would leave, she would come back, it would all happen again.
( Peej, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:05, Reply)

I am the bad neighbour.
For about 6 years I was utterly convinced that my flat was almost 100% soundproof. Then new people moved in upstairs who speedily disabused me of this notion (they then moved out after a few months). So the midnight-6am full volume scratching sessions every weekend must have been hell for a good few people.

Luckily I think they're all scared of me, so I am left to my own nefarious devices once again these days.

HOWEVER: terribly sad news I've just heard;
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8633175.stm

Lest we forget: www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFQQeUNaZtc&feature=related
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Well at least he didn't get shot.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:11, Reply)

You're right.
Slow, lingering, agonising cancer FTW.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Yes but he did have time to say goodbye to all his family and friends and died in their loving care.
I know which I would choose.
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:20, Reply)

I'd rather take a bullet, niggah.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:23, Reply)

I can just imagine you saying that in a very clipped posh voice.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:24, Reply)

That can be arranged...

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:28, Reply)

never heard of them
Local pub band were they?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Yup, from Wigan.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:31, Reply)

A couple who used to live nect door, cut one of my beloved trees down.
So I threatened them with solicitors and grave consequences.

I settled for £150 which was fine. I was going to cut it down myself anyway. I am the annoying neighbour.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Calm enough to post now.
Just to expand a little.

A nice man bought the wasteland behind our house. He built a lovely 4 bedroom detached house and partially landscaped the garden. It was a substantial improvement. He was away on business quite often and his wife decided she didn’t like having neighbours who never spoke to her. Of course we didn’t. She had 8 foot fences and a solid 6 foot gate outside of which she rarely ventured.

Eventually he gave in and sold the place. To the Autistic Society. And that’s when it started. My wife is no nimby but wasn’t looking forward to the place being full of noisy hooting mongs. I was a little more positive and told her to wait and see. I was wrong.

There are 4 fairly low function autists living there now. Gargles With Cats so named due to his idiosyncratic method of communication. That is exactly what he sounds like. We then have screaming Bob who does just that. Jettison boy throws everything he can get his hands on into our back garden, regardless of whether anyone is in the garden. he also rips his books into confetti and throws them from his bedroom window. The last one is Droolian. He’s fine.

The icing on the biscuit was when the staff apologised after the latest sleepless night. Apparently the place was supposed to be filled with high functioning autisitic adults who simply needed help with everyday living but could hold down jobs. Real care in the community of which I approve totally. However as no other property was available it was filled with the kids they wanted out of their larger home as they were too disruptive.

Anyhow, revenge? Come summer I am going to buy a couple of kilos of imported blue sweeties and chuck them over the fence for the kids enjoyment. Tartrazine for the win.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Porky, you bastard. "hooting mongs"
I'm in a meeting at the moment, and I have just produced a tea geyser, and had to explain that I just coughed.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:34, Reply)

My work here is done.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:39, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:35, Reply)

'the icing on the biscuit', eh?
Remember - 'don't put all your chickens in one basket before you come to them'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:35, Reply)

I was thinking of a B3ta approved activity tbh.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Ah, takes me back to Eton.....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Eton?
Good Lord. Dotheboys or Jedburgh not good enough?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:42, Reply)

'Fraid not, old stick.
Pater simply insisted.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Damn tradition. Damn. It. All. To. Hell.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:52, Reply)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Gosh you are a posh one aren't you.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:53, Reply)

More so than I let on.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I once had a KFC (yes, I know!) in the US
which came with 'biscuits'.

Said items turned out to be a bit like savoury scones. As an accompaniment to fried chicken. WTF?

/tangent

At least they didn't have icing on.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Sgones or scoanes?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Scone
rhymes with gone, when it's a foodstuff.

And it rhymes with moon when it's a town.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:44, Reply)

This is 100% correct, in every way
*steals stone*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Oi, bring that back, you southern thief!
Mind you, we could always dig the real one out of its hiding place...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:46, Reply)

So when does it rhyme with moan?

( Peej, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:20, Reply)

The former. The latter is nasty lower-middle-class 'Hyacinth Bucket' pikiness.
Goes with crocheted lavatory paper covers and The Daily Express.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:44, Reply)

And light pulls in amusing novelty shapes.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:46, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/board/10014263
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Were they made from chicken lips?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I believe
they may have had hen's teeth in them.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:44, Reply)

I'm a good neighbour,
because I'm generally a nice person.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:31, Reply)

^this is the problem with QOTW
the neverending lies.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I'm glad to see my excellent zing about you got on the popular page.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I don't recall this zing and upon checking I dont recognise it
I'm enjoying Lampito's excellent zing about you though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

it doesn't make sense out of context,
read this
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post701751
(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I don't get it
but I'm sure it's very witty.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I'll break it down and get rid of any confusing words
1) Porky lips: I managed to annoy a fat ugly woman though
2) you: Details please?
3) Me: He refused to give her details when she asked.

It's quite similar to the how do you keep an idiot in suspense joke. I'll explain that one later.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:11, Reply)

This is all undermining your claim to being a nice person spectacularly

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:15, Reply)

SHE STARTED IT

(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Maybe so
But she teaches pole-dancing, so I'm going to side with her
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Neighbours are mostly fine
except one lot who have a chavvy 20 y/o son, who is mostly fine, except for when all his thick chavvy mates turn up in a chavaclade of noisey modded novas and saxos and block my drive and act like they're in South Central LA (not rural somerset).
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Oops I spilt my box of nails, oh well I'll clear them up later...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I find roofing nails
are particularly effective damaging to car tyres, because they're short and stubby with a large head.

(no penis jokes please)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Considered it
but with working tyres they will eventually fuck off
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Chavalcade!
*steals*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I have a few of them..."Chavalanche"
err...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:05, Reply)

i think i'm the annoying one
or more importantly, our household is the annoying household. we like to come in late and play loud metal while talking shit in the back yard.
you'd fuckin hate me :D
i'm the one with the guitar but no tuner.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I read that as
'taking a shit in the back yard'

That wouldn't really make for neighbourly harmony.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)

well no, but i did once shit in a bag in someone elses' tent
it was a festival. don't fuckin judge me.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:53, Reply)

But that's ok
It was in a bag.

Had it been in a sleeping bag, it would be different.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:57, Reply)

i like that logic
it makes me feel better about my misdeeds. i think next time i do somethig horrendous, i'll engage you to provide me with a customer-facing workaround *argh qotw flashback*
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

OK, you're on
*thinks outside the box*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I dreamt about you last night
Your post was getting sent to my address for some reason and so I was trying to find out on b3ta what your real address was so I could forward it on.

Most odd.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:48, Reply)

you dreamt about me?
jesus.
i'm sorry. i'm sure i did somethign horrendous. dream pete can be a twat. i tried to tell him.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I had a carrot thrown through my window once, by a neighbour.
For playing my music too loud. Cunt.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)

haha
comedy retaliation right there
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Dutch bastards

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:49, Reply)

The old 'West Country hand-grenade', eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:52, Reply)

It could have been a turnip.
Much worse.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:54, Reply)

racist

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Bloody root vegetables.
Moving into our neighbourhood.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Eating our swans and killing our Princesses

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:06, Reply)

it was in the westcountry
it would have been a swede. don't get me started.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:56, Reply)

And in Scotland
it would have been a neep.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:57, Reply)

In scotland it would be a deep fried skag baby

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

mmmm crispy skag baby
*drools*
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

With one eye gouged out

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:06, Reply)

a swede?!
You could have been killed!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Pumpkin?
Could have caused an international incident.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:08, Reply)

How many fucking times
There's no such thing as a swede in Cornwall, there's just two different types of turnip.
( Peej, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Good morning all!
I'm starting late after hours fighting with lastminute to get my money back, and I haven't finished yet. Avoid them if possible.

To answer the question, my neighbour comes back from partying around 4am on Sats and Suns and puts the music VERY loud, weaking me up.

I told her off once.

The door of my letterbox dissapear right after that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:05, Reply)

You should do the following:
Take one paper bag. Find a freshly laid dog turd and place it in the bag.

Place the bag on your neighbour's doorstep. Strike a match and set fire to the bag.

Ring the doorbell.

Run.

The natural reaction to a burning bag on one's doorstep is to stamp on it to extinguish it...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Mine wouldn't be
Mine would be to kick it.
( Peej, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:23, Reply)

With a suitably sloppy dog shit
the result would be the same.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:26, Reply)

I live in a flat
and her dor is next to mine in the same aisle. I was going to suffer the bad smell for ages.

I need something more cunning, like calling the police.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:29, Reply)

On one side of the house:
b3ta.com/questions/letterstheywillneverread/post654165
and on the other side of the house:
b3ta.com/questions/letterstheywillneverread/post654239

Though in both cases, things seem to have calmed down over the last few weeks. I wonder whether this is down to them all going on holiday and being stranded on the Continent or in the States.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:15, Reply)

A pearoast about a previous neighbour of mine
www.b3ta.com/questions/neighbours/post531339
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 10:25, Reply)

My neighbors are pretty cool.
We don't really party together, but occaasionally I have the students across the way over for drinks and food as they're good for a laugh.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 21 Apr 2010, 17:05, Reply)