99% I agree with you
But you've got the 1% of those who are actually fookin talented. Like Diversity from the last series, and the gymnasts who were on there on saturday.

Beyond that, yes. Utter shite.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 9:44, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Men that can dance are shirters or vainglorious

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Or good at the sexual

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 9:55, Reply)

That has been my experience.

( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 9:57, Reply)

men who aren't scared to have a boogie
are adventurous in lots of ways
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Sir Ranolph Fiennes, the worlds greatest living explorer
is known as a rather clumsy dancer.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:00, Reply)

and rubbish at cunnilingus, I'll wager

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Certainly no good at playing the gusset piano
since his fingers dropped off.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:04, Reply)

GUSSET PIANO

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Why do you think he spends all his life up a mountain.

( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:07, Reply)

To make up for the lack of a-mountain?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:08, Reply)

a-mountin', surely?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Yes.
That was the thinly-veiled pun.

Having one of those mornings?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:16, Reply)

mornings lives
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:45, Reply)

But when he get's to the top -
he goes down.

I'll get me coat.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:17, Reply)

*coughs*
See below.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Wahey!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:03, Reply)

*sees below*
Good lord, is it supposed to be that shape?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I had a terrible accident with a mangle in the 1950s.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Yes, it's not so much a 'bell-end' as a 'plaice,' is it?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:46, Reply)

"I've got a massive Flatty"

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Vainglorious, maybe
But male dancing itself is not strictly the domain of the shirter. May I draw your attention to the mighty Rock Steady Crew, Dynamic Rockers, New York City Breakers etc etc.

I used to be pretty good myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:00, Reply)

good
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:03, Reply)

You got a purdy mouth, boy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Prince Ken Swift from the Rock Steady Crew is widely regarded
as the finest dancer in the b-boy style ever. He's the perfect build and his style combines a mastery of up-rocking and some of the most tasteful-on-beat floor moves of all time. He's never been beaten.

(I'm pretty much talking to myself here, I suspect)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:15, Reply)

B-boy?
Is that an actual thing, or have you suddenly developed a stutter when you type?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:18, Reply)

It's an actual thing.
What became known erroneously in the media as 'breakdancing'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:29, Reply)

No, no, we're all listening.
And it didn't sound at all gay.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Well, I have thrown some shapes in my time
I have even had the riddim poppin. I have busted moves and I have even been known to mash up de place. But I have never, not ever, been a bumsexual.

Or watched Glee
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I can be pretty vainglorious when I dance
Which, by the above criteria, conclusively proves I'm not a shirter
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Don't worry, because this means you're a riot in the sack.

( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I refer you, once again, to my absurdly hot girlfriend
which I think proves your point
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:10, Reply)

She might be hot and have low expectations.

( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:16, Reply)

low expectations no vagina
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Do you really think I'd date a woman with the anatomy of a Barbie doll
just because she's gorgeous, to deflect accusations of shirterism?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Ashley Cole married a woman with the voice of the Big Brother announcer
just because she was nice to look at, to deflect accusations of shirterism.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Most, most salient, old boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Good point
We have no proof that Cheryl Cole has a vagina. Someone get the Daily Mail on the case
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Of course she does.
Her cunt's called Ashley, innit?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Not any more
Don't you read Heat?!

PANICKED EDIT: NOR DO I
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:57, Reply)

TOO LATE
BUMDER ALERT

ATTENTION: WE HAVE A BUMDER IN THIS THREAD. BEHOLD THE BUMDER. ALL POSTERS ARE ADVISED TO PUT THEIR BACKS AGAINST THE NEAREST WALL IN THE INTERESTS OF SAFETY AND NOT BEING BUMMED.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Um...
THREAT THREAD

yes, that's all I've got
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Too bad it was ninja'ed before you had a chance to post that, really. Better luck next time.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:03, Reply)

DAMN YOUR FACE
I shall have my revenge, in an as-yet non-specific way
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I'll keep the cushion taped over my arse for the time being, then...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:25, Reply)

THEY'VE SPLIT UP????
OMG!!!!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Right on both counts
But I do get the impression that if I don't meet those expectations she'll let me know
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:30, Reply)

If he keeps gaying it up round here
he's going to be a riot, in a sack, in a fucking canal.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:16, Reply)

^TOTD

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Is that 'threat of the day'?
If so, what a fantastic concept - I very much look forward to us all trying to get that award each day, with an increasingly-disturbing series of statements of brutally violent intent.

Top hole!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:32, Reply)

'tis indeed
I thoroughly enjoyed your threat and feel this place has been a bit lacking in futile anger of late. Anyone who disagrees with me will be rogered forthwith with the itchy end of a marrow.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:36, Reply)

TOTD
we have a new champion
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:37, Reply)

But why would you watch 99% of a show just to hold out for the 1% that's good?
That's like watching the whole of fucking Titanic for the one scene where Kate Winslet gets her knockers out.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:07, Reply)

1hr 53 minutes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Glad someone looked that up
You've just saved me about three hours of my evening...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:18, Reply)

She flops them out in loads of films.
And they were in better shape in 'Hideous Kinky'
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:23, Reply)

This is very useful information.
Rest assured, I shall think of you in gratitude as I fast-forward through these films with my member throbbing in anticipation.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I think she gets her muff out in Jude as well.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:25, Reply)

She does indeed but it's terrifyingly hirsute. And Christopher Eccleston is dour and Northern in the very same scene.
Not worth it, to be honest.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Contemporaneously hairy - give an actress her due.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Well, it was set in the 19th century
I doubt that the concept of downstairs grooming had been invented then.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I would be prepared to suspend disbelief
If it had craftily cultivated into, say, the shape of a dinosaur
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Stegosaurus FTW!
Or a Triceratops. Imagine being confronted with a pubic recreation of massive horny plates?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:53, Reply)

'Pubic recreation' sounds like fun to me
A bit like a playground for those who are just sprouting grass on the wicket.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I'm set in the 19th Century.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Oh how wrong you are!
Boudoir razors have been popular since the back end of the 1800s. I've seen them in antique shops!
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:58, Reply)

i saw part of an interview with her
where she was talking about having to wear a cuntwig for that role (I believe the phrase was something along the lines of "a landing strip just wouldn't do")
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:43, Reply)

so she hired some American to hang on
what some Merkins will do for money
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:45, Reply)

ha!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I don't watch it normally
At the weekend there was a few people at mine while I was cooking, and they had it on. I only caught the gymnasts and the vomiting guy (who seems an absolute legend).

And I only found Diversity by flicking onto it last year. I'll admit, I then watched the next round to see if they were as funny, and they were.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I just wait for someone to post the awesome acts on Youtube

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Look up the vomiting guy
Absolutely genius.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:22, Reply)

But so so pointless, 3 minutes of diversion and then what?

a world vomiting tour?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:29, Reply)

I always think that about these acts that burp the national anthem and stuff
it's hardly going to stretch out to a full show.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:42, Reply)