I just bought myself some things from Amazon
Two graphic novels by Garth Ennis to be a bit more forthcoming with details.

Have you treated yourself recently?

I'm bored, and couldn't be bothered to get involved with that 'female role model' thread because I skimmed it and saw no pics of boobs
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:25, 243 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I like breasts.
I treated myself to another For Dummies book.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Was that one of your more obscure puns?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 5 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I've seen a duvet cover and pillow set I want but it's £180,
I'm still thinking about it.
( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:29, Reply)

£180 for a duvet cover and pillow set?!
£8 in Asda living. Job done.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:31, Reply)

But it's lovely and will look ace in my bedroom.
I can't find anything else I like......and believe me I've looked.
( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:32, Reply)

It's £180 though!
And I bet if you wash it with other clothes it'll still end up gathering them all up by the time you take it out the washer, like a giant soggy knicker-thief.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:36, Reply)

I wash my bedding seperately.
I don't smoke, drink much or gamble. What else am I supposed to spend my money on.


www.yellowsunrise.co.uk/product.php/513/66/maharaja-duvet-cover-set
( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)

?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 5 May 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Tattoos?
A holiday?
Weaponry?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:39, Reply)

I've already got the money saved for my holiday.
My tattoo won't cost much.

And I have a kitchen knife.
( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)

My tattoos will cost thousands
But then I'm getting most of my body done at some point.

Not my bits though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Do your parents know this?

( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Which ones?
I think I've told both though
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:44, Reply)

That's ok then.
I haven't got mine done yet. I want to be in a good mood when I get it done.
( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

THIS IS THE FIRST I'VE HEARD ABOUT THIS MY LAD!
YOU'RE PERFECTLY FINE JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. I DON'T KNOW, FIRST YOU HAD YOUR TONGUE PIERCED BEHIND OUR BACKS, NOW THIS..........
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 5 May 2010, 17:50, Reply)

Cat food

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)

£180???? I hope it's made out of the finest material
eagle feathers and childrens tears perhaps?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Why do you hate JohntheDane?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:29, Reply)

They made disparaging remarks about my callused elbows
Oh, wait, who's JohntheDane?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Offtopics new internet lothario

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:33, Reply)

YOU SCARED HIM OFF NOW YOU BIG BULLY

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Not Scared Off
I'm still here, but thank you for the concern.
(JohntheDane, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Hello Mr Lothario

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Huh?
Sorry, what?
(JohntheDane, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:38, Reply)

I said hello
I waved too, but you can't see that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:39, Reply)

We're having a friendly dig at your attempt to get wank videos off /offtopic regulars
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post713990
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)

What the HELL?!
That's MY Pandatron image! I lent it to Kaol...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Don't blame me I didn't wheel it out.
You need to send a capslocked gaz I think.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

I don't think this laptop's keyboard could take my capslocked rage
Poor thing's straining now.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

It belongs to The B3ta Family now
*Demon Headmaster eyes*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

I watched that as a kid.
At least it's in good roaming hands now.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Did you watch Dark Season
with kate Winslett?
I haz it on DVD. Not as good as I remember...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:49, Reply)

Doesn't ring any bells
Did she get her norks out?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)

She was a chubby kid, you sick...
Alas, no.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

No one likes fatty bom-batty boobs

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

oh my god I had completely forgotten about The Demon Headmaster
that show/book was fucking amazing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:49, Reply)

My boss's boss looks like him
and my boss's boss's boss looks like the lil mole from the Tweenies.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)

One of my manager's faces resembles a fisted anus when he speaks
Well, not really, but imagining it makes meetings easier.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:53, Reply)

EW!!!!
Thanks Lab.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:55, Reply)

I met the son of the woman that wrote it at a stag do once.
INTERESTING FACT
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)

She wrote it at a stag do? Impressive
Yes, I'm a cock.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I officelolled
and now I'm ashamed
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Revel in the shame
You love it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:04, Reply)

He was on Dr Who recently

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Humphh!
I'd just finished typing up a dull-as-shite, rambling and barely coherent but spoof reply which came back with 'thread deleted by waffle brained lotherio'.
I am like an elephant you know.
(In that I have a long memory.)
(Not in that I stray off to the lands of my ancestors to die.)
So there.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 5 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Oh I see
Eh, when I started this thread his wasn't in an existent state as of yet.

And the "I agree with Kitty" remark was a searingly witty pastiche of Gordon and David saying "I agree with Nick". Maybe my razor sharp wit sliced that thread clean in half.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Maybe that's what happened.
but it's deleted now so kitty wont know how I've subtly ruined her facebook life
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Yes, she'll be blissfully unaware that you FB raped her

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Oh I didn't do that.
I put myself down as not attending to something she didn't invite me to.
Ahhhhhahahahaha I'm like an online terrorist.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Oh sick burn!
Bet she's still reeling!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)

She's probably got me on ignore now
Maybe I went too far this time...
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)

I don't know her well enough to be FB friends
Otherwise I'd do the same.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

I don't want it to turn into Kate's Party

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I was invited.
So ner ner ner
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

we can sit around eating cupcakes and talking about how much we all hate Psychochomp

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

As long as you're talking about me.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

It'll be just like tuesdays, only with more cake.
But now he's said this, maybe we should sit around eating cupcakes and discuss everything BUT Psychochomp.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:55, Reply)

in reality that is what will happen

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)

The icing on the cupcake pictured is a bit uneven
I would expect better.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:59, Reply)

I didn't make that one
but I'll email the person whose site I stole it off and add insult to the injury of my theft.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Are you thinking about starting it as a buisiness then?
My friend has just started one in london, I can put you in contact if you want, I'm sure she wont mind giving you some tips.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:03, Reply)

that would be really helpful, thanks!
We're looking into it but not sure where to start, so any advice would be appreciated.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:16, Reply)

I'll gaz you her contact details

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)

You are slowly becoming Kaol.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:26, Reply)

:(

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)

The insult goblin lurks
Sometimes for days on end, dark words and venom churning in his mind, coagulating into one perfect retort.

Without warning he reveals himself, his ire-dripping knobbled proboscis in hand, delivering a surgical strike of such precision as to slay God himself with his crafted insult.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Yup.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:54, Reply)

And then compare boobs and practice kissing
It's what happens at parties with girls involved. So I hear/strain to see through partially drawn curtains.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:54, Reply)

You forgot the pillow fights.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:55, Reply)

I'm usually spent by that point

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Is that when you fall off your ladder?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Yes
Then I phone those accident-at-work people and make a mint.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)

that actually made me do a little office snigger
I am upset that you're not coming to my cupcake party, I was going to make a special cupcake just for you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Move it to the sunday and I'll come.
but I, (like most of your friends) have better things to do that saturday.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

they don't have better things to do,
just things. *sobs*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)

dry your eyes mate
No offence like but weddings are big deals you can't cancel them for hardly anything.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:57, Reply)

it's true.
although some people have just put 'not attending' with no excuse given, which makes me think they don't like me and then I get upset and eat cupcakes which is why I'm a lolinternetfatty
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Some people hate people writing their excuse on the wall,
it's a mine field.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)

oh I don't mind, I just get paranoid when people just put 'not attending'
because I picture them sniggering and saying "Like I'm going to attend that hahahaha" and then sitting around with all the other people who aren't attending and laughing about how much they all hate me....

*more sobbing*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:19, Reply)

weirdo

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:30, Reply)

you're right.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)

I ordered from Amazon today
Avatar for the PSP and a "Burn Notice" book.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Amazon makes it too easy to buy things
I only went on to check an old address, then saw the latest collection of The Boys, so HAD to get it...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)

I find adding things to my wish list slows my buying down
it gives you a cool-off period to realise that you really don't need that shiney thing
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)

^This.

( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:44, Reply)

I only update my wishlist before my birthday and christmas
And try to stay off Amazon altogether.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Were you buying Preacher?
Edit: dammit, you already specified what you were buying in the subthread above. Now I feel even more irrelevant than usual. This must be what those n00bs feel like.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Sadly not
I love Preacher, but just have never got 'round to buying the set myself. The Boys is awesome though, check it out!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

I just knew that would appeal to you
thanks for reminding me I need to pick up my standing order this weekend.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Himjim!
I think it just came out, Amazon made a point of making me aware of it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Did you grab Herogasm too?
That was a quality side story. I might take a picture of the collection for you one day :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:10, Reply)

I've got all the collecteds so far
I did enjoy Herogasm!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:16, Reply)

I did. Last week. Loads of it.
Daughter claims she needs it for a module at Uni.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 5 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Best module ever!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:04, Reply)

I love how you say claims
like you're not even entertaining the idea of it being true
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Yes, well, let's say it's unlikely she'll be able to show me that essay.
Not that I've seen any work she claims to have done.
Do you think it's possible she sees uni as three years of pissing it up?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 5 May 2010, 16:13, Reply)

We just bought tickets to Pisa
£26 return, from Stansted. We'll spend a weekend in Pisa and Florence, in 2 weeks.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 5 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Spend 1 hour in pisa the rest in Florence
pisa is a dump.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

But it does have an excellent pizzeria where you buy pizza by the metre.
The nightlife involves sitting on the wall by the river. Not any stretch of the river, oh no - a particular stretch around Piazza Garibaldi.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:54, Reply)

IT SLIDES OFF THE TABLE THOUGH!!!

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:54, Reply)

That sounds like how I want to die

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:55, Reply)

We've been told that by several people now
That's why we'll see the tower, then get the train to Florence and spend the rest of the weekend there.

Any idea how the trains work in Italy? Is it cheaper to buy tickets in advance? And if so, how can I do it (the web page doesn't go that far)?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:10, Reply)

I went to Venice last year
so it was all water boats.

Try the lonely planet page for it, they're usually pretty helpful with things like that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:30, Reply)

We got a coach from Pisa airport to Florence
it was easy enough and by far the cheapest for the 8 of us.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:36, Reply)

That sounds like a good idea.
I need to do a bit of research on how to get to the Pisa Tower and then Florence. It should be cheaper than the train.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:55, Reply)

I want to go to Florence

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Well you can't

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:55, Reply)

I fucking can, you!
I'll bloody well go one of these days and that'll learn ye
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)

You show him.

( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)

+ your boobs

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:02, Reply)

just up to the first freckle...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Up? As in, working up from the bottom?
Underboob is seriously under appreciated.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:05, Reply)

I think underboob is more rude.
So I'd better not.
Remember the Wanna Fila advert?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:09, Reply)

No I don't
Why?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:10, Reply)

It was fit.
EDIT I could show it but people might say it's NSFW.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)

gaz it me then
Although I am at work, so might wait til I get home.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)

Ok, but you could look at it
It's only little.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Story of my life

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Then go
What's stopping you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Alright, PMA!!!
I will.
At some point.
But not on my own that's all.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:23, Reply)

I've been on holiday by myself
Twice now, in fact. It's not as bad as you might think. (Though I admit on the second occasion it was kind of odd not having a proper conversation with anybody for a week.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:25, Reply)

I love my own company,
But being a bird, I think people make the wrong assumptions, so I would feel a bit unsafe.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:28, Reply)

It's the same for me
I know it's a bit silly, as I've travelled for work on my own plenty of times and nothing bad happened ever. Going on my own to restaurants and clubs and didn't have any problem. But it's not the same, I don't know why, I feel unsafe too going on holidays on my own.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I see
I don't like traveling on my own either. Can't you find someone who wants to go with you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I might persuade the bf at some point.
Florence ain't going anywhere, I hope.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:28, Reply)

You never know
The Daleks might take it away.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:57, Reply)

New converse, jeans repair and new underwear.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

*starts warming up the Pandatron*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Don't get too excited.
Just everyday stuff rather than my usual lacy smut.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)

I predict a deluge of one-handed typers in
3...
2...
1...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Nah it's like shooting fish in a barrel when she's in this sort of mood.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)

What sort of mood?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Applebite mood 6a

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Somehow, I don't think the fact that there is a list is a joke.
And that one is...?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:04, Reply)

bored and after attention on a wednesday afternoon.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Do they all start off with "bored and after attention?"
Not everything I do is for attention you know. I was only answering the question.

Besides, I'm not bored, I'm writing my shopping list.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)

No, some start: as drunk and after attention

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

I've never been on here while drunk!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:23, Reply)

The list is for all your possible moods

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:25, Reply)

I would like to see this list.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I'll put it in excel and email it to you

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:33, Reply)

God you're so cool

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Our gaz agreement didn't last even half an hour.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Technically I didn't disagree with you

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:40, Reply)

That sounds like a disagreement.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:53, Reply)

you're right
touche
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 16:09, Reply)

You'd better.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:39, Reply)

sent to your hotmail.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 16:03, Reply)

I expect they're used to this from me by now.
It's become routine and dull.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)

I haven't been around here much recently
I'm pretty sure some teenage Doc Octopus girl talking about her knicks is enough to get some b3tans in a froth.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:00, Reply)

I'm not Doc Oc anymore, I have a different picture now.
And I'm not a teenager for much longer.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:02, Reply)

I just saw
That pic is even more likely to induce Pandatron-engaging comments.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)

I do my best.
I think its the picture that sums me up the best though.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Sums up your love for
red balloons, red curtains and giraffe men?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Precisely this.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:10, Reply)

You're weird
I've seen many odd fetishes, but yours would make even de Sade call for an exorcist.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)

You're only scratching the surface.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:13, Reply)

You like running your nails across formica?
The depravity is endless.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)

And down blackboards.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:19, Reply)

officeshudder

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)

And yet when I talk about buying underwear.............
everyone goes for lunch.
( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:00, Reply)

goes for
pukes up their
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)

: (

( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Don't be mean.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:03, Reply)

*Not* a Pandatron Question
but the scale on which Applebite is a 17 - what is its range?
(JohntheDane, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:13, Reply)

See Subject Line of My Post (Above)
...?
(JohntheDane, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)

Pandatron comes when invoked

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:17, Reply)

YOU CANNOT FIGHT THE PANDATRON
HE IS ALL POWERFUL!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)

ALL HAIL PANDATRON!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I bow
down before the greatness of the P'tron!
(JohntheDane, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Basically if you're nice to a woman on here then the Pandertron is engaged.
Because obviously you're after getting in her knickers. But it is a bit icky if you want to see pics of them and they are only just legal.
( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:52, Reply)

I'm nice to women on here and never engage the Pandatron
I r teh Gent.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:54, Reply)

That's because they all want to get in your knickers.

( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Oh blousie, you'll make me blush!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:56, Reply)

She loves it.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:16, Reply)

You're technically my sister though

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)

That's true.
You're one of the few male B3tans I refuse to imagine naked.
( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Me and Spakk, eh?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Haha!
Yup!
( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)

I don't imagine those two naked either
Although TGB's seen too much of one of them...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:08, Reply)

God, not Spak's ripped jeans.
*shudders*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Oh God, I'd suppressed that!
No, not that...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Oops, sorry.
I do a good job of suppressing the image usually but every now and again it pops out of nowhere and I get the urge to spoon my brain out.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I saw Labs bits
when he flashed me wearing a kilt
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:42, Reply)

It was unintentional
The boys were not looking their best.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:45, Reply)

*Yikes*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:46, Reply)

haha
Did you not wonder why I kept Yelling
"EL DIABLO!!!"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:54, Reply)

What the fuck is 'kelling'?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:54, Reply)

What are you talking about?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:59, Reply)

You sneaky ninja bastard

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 16:00, Reply)

El Diablo!

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:55, Reply)

A rare double-sighting of the Insult Goblin
Surely he will rest sated tonight.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:56, Reply)

I'm on fucking FIRE this afternoon.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 5 May 2010, 16:00, Reply)

You're a goddamn Insult Sniper, mate
Delivering scathing headshots from nowhere.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 16:01, Reply)

Am I on that list too?
*prays the answer is yes, so I can come to the birthday bash without fear*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)

You're safe.
I don't have rude thoughts about kids. I'm borrowing my nephew's lego for you to play with while the adults have fun.
( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Can I play with it too?
I love Lego!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I wouldn't go for lunch
I'd lissen upp keenleh
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:04, Reply)

*winks knowingly*

( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)

MY CHEST HURTS. AND MY TROUSERS.
HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Clean yourself up

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:45, Reply)

I booked a trip to London
for the sole purpose of getting hideously drunk with a bunch of people I barely know off the internet.

Proper, spur of the moment thing it was too, none of this sitting and mulling it over nonense for me, no siree.

All I need to do now is sell a kidney for the train fare down.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:04, Reply)

I'll buy your kidney - mine are pretty useless.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Can you hang on for a couple of months
Until the tickets are released?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)

They'll probably be working again in a couple of months.
At least, I hope they will.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Is this the one you told me about?
I ought to book an 'otel for that
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Yup.
We got the King's Cross Travelodge for £29, as it's handy for the station. Could be worth checking out.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)

stationarray of local prostitutes

Ok, that's a little unfair, the proximity of the station probably has practical applications as well...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:14, Reply)

I will have the missus in tow, so...
Nah, it's just nice to be able to come out of the station, cross the road, dump your stuff and fuck off out on the juice, with none of that tedious mucking about on the tube trying to find the whereabouts of your hotel in an unfamiliar area of town.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)

This is very true.
And fortunately there are at least two good boozers within a stone's throw of King's Cross (or more depending on one's stone-throwing ability).
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Linkys?
Looking for a decent venue; doesn't have to be Kings Cross but there are three requirements:

1: Decent beer
2: Noise levels condusive to carrying out a conversation. If I wanted to listen to loud music for a whole evening I'd stay home and turn the gramophone up.
3: Relative ease of findability for us country hicks.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:25, Reply)

The two closest to the station that fit those requirements are
The Euston Flyer (Fuller's), just on the main road outside, and probably visible from, the station front exit. Probably busy during the post-work rush, my main concern with that one is that your missus will live up to her screen name when you see the prices...

...and Mabel's Tavern (Shepherd Neame)is the next closest one. Probably quieter and a little cheaper - just off the main road but easy to find if you keep your eyes peeled.

Also, if you're heading towards Euston, The Doric Arch is built into the station itself. Nice place, will be busy but usually has an interesting selection of grown-up beer.

Seem to remember there's a couple of decent ones round Russell Square as well - I think the Lord John Russell and Skinner's Arms might have been among them, but there's a few in that immediate area and you can usually tell by a quick glance in the window whether they'll be any good.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Some of those look promising...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:47, Reply)

It depends how far you want to explore; those are obviously very close to the station
But if you feel like braving the transport, I'd suggest travelling a bit further - e.g., if you head towards the Marylebone High Street area, you'll find, among other things, two Sam Smith's pubs, The Dover Castle and Angel in the Fields.

Or in the opposite direction, Farringdon and Old Street are well served for good watering holes, Jerusalem Tavern, Wenlock Arms and Fountain Inn being my personal favourites. (NB Jerusalem closes at weekends)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:56, Reply)

The Doric Arch is my local, so you're risking an influx of the kind of mongs I turned to internet folks to get away from...

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Good point well made
Though sadly the case with most Central London pubs these days
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Nope, my non-internet friends only tend to hang out in that one.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 5 May 2010, 16:03, Reply)

My mistake, I was referring to the more general influx of mongs that seem to fetter most of the pubs I've wandered into in the centre
Though I'm tempted to go back to the Doric now and find out how many of them know you...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 5 May 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Ha ha.
I was thinking that may be a tad on the busy side to be honest but it's still a possibility.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 5 May 2010, 16:00, Reply)

There's a lovely Sam Smiths
near to Russell Square and easy walking distance from Kings X. I'll look it up.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 5 May 2010, 16:08, Reply)

I shall take a gander at that when I get home!
Cheers!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:14, Reply)

A quick check reveals that
yes, mucho cheapo rooms still available at a wide variety of London-based Trravelodge establishments

www.travelodge.co.uk/search_and_book/index.php?action=search&check_from=&locationCode=p5449&quickform=Y&location=london&checkInDate=22%2F10%2F2010&checkOutDate=23%2F10%2F2010&no_of_rooms=1&adults_1=1&children_1=0&adults_2=1&children_2=0&adults_3=1&children_3=0&adults_4=1&children_4=0
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 5 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Ooo lovely, cheers Dad!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Can I stay with you?
I promise my feet are warmer these days ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Hmm... I shall consider this request

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Yay!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:44, Reply)

I've spent all my money
And need a lovely man to take me out for a pint :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Careful now, the Pandatron's already been engaged once in this thread

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Hmm... I shall also consider this request

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Double Yay!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:44, Reply)

It won't be this weekend, as I'm busy
With the missus (again), going to Go Ape for a friend's birthday.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:46, Reply)

what??
Crazy missus? Oh dear. I'll get my own hotel room then
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:47, Reply)

It's all good now
We can share a twin, so long as you don't shit on the floor again.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:50, Reply)

I'd better buy some lino to put on the floor when she stays over.

( girlinthehole, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Restrict her to the bath, you'll be fine

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Lab are you coming oop north for that?
Would you like to ride in the car of awesome rather than drive your little shit box up there?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 5 May 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I was going to offer you a lift
But seeing as you've just insulted Banoffee, I shall have to cry.

Yes, I'd love a lift please, I promise I won't play with your cup holder for the whole journey
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Play with her what?
Never heard it called THAT before
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 5 May 2010, 16:01, Reply)

She loved how I manipulated the smooth, gliding action of her previously-unmolested cup holder.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 16:04, Reply)

You kept trying to stick bigger and bigger things in there though

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 5 May 2010, 16:05, Reply)

I wanted to test your boundaries
Make your eyes water
Show you who's boss
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 May 2010, 16:06, Reply)

I just bought myself a big bag of Seabrook Hot'N'Spicy Wasabi crisps
They are the don. I am going to spoil my appetite for dinner at this rate.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 5 May 2010, 16:24, Reply)