You are allowed to banish from the earth forever one item of clothing: which do you choose?
Personally I am torn between Ugg Boots and Crocs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:36, 101 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'd go with crocs if I were you
Although Ugg boots are now worn by some of the most awful people, there was a time when they weren't. If you ignore the ridiculous price tag and that they look quite stupid, they are really quite comfortable and warm.

whereas Crocs have absolutely no merit whatsoever.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:40, Reply)

All the fat serfs round where I live wear Ugg boots.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:45, Reply)

all the rah-rah students round here wear them
the uniform is:
women: massive bleached hair, baggy top, tracksuit trousers or leggings, Ugg boots
men: rugger or polo top with popped collar, tracksuit trousers, flip flops.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Humans are ARGHFLUFFLEPOP

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:11, Reply)

They SO ARE Noel, they so are.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I think that's the noise my brain would make if it imploded.
I've seen that uniform around here, and it makes me want to break at least three clauses in the Human Rights Act.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:22, Reply)

FLIP-FLOPS!!!
Our rugger-types do that too.
Fucking January and I saw a tit wearing flip-flops. What's he proving??
Becuase his pink and brown rugby top with a popped collar is already negating his masculinity, that's for sure...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:25, Reply)

*gnashes teeth*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:26, Reply)

so true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Not from the earth
But I'd like to ban all the 'indy' twats who hijacked Led Zeppelin t-shirts from those who are actual fans.

I saw one I liked a while back, but was put off when this foppish cunt wandered over, picked it up, and announced it would go well with his new blazer. I could have killed him.

Kind of wish Monty was there instead of me, no-one would have got out alive, would have been rather entertaining.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Similarly
I'm the kind of guy who's been wearing Ramones t-shirts for about 15 years. (They pong a bit now)

However, in the past 5 years they have also been hijacked by the Indie crowd. I can't really wear them now. One time I did though and some cunt in the pub thought he'd be smart by questioning if I even know anything about the band (thinking I was some fashionista-type idiot).

"How much time do you have?" I said with raised eyebrow
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Before breaking a bottle round his head, and sodomising him?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Well yeah
that's my standard after-pub routine
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Ahh, I wondered where we'd met before...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I had a Bauhaus t-shirt when I was younger that I loved to wear.
My mum borrowed it and I was disgusted : (

Then recently I remembered my mum was about my age when she wore it :(
( girlinthehole, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I remember my mum borrowing my old Chilli Peppers hoody
and wearing it parent's evening at school. it had Suck My Kiss emblazoned across the back. That amused me somewhat
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:06, Reply)

* T Shirt Entitlement Monitor Spot Check*
Now Mr McCool, could you tell me please - Who produced the Pleasant Dreams album?
(Cave Duck, Thu 13 May 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Nazi uniforms that people wear to be edgy

(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Or that military type uniforms
you see Kasabian or The Libertines wearing..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)

They're nearly as bad as a rugger shirts
worn when not playing rugger. So, so bent.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Aye
Like this cunt, who does he think he is?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Or this one

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:47, Reply)

He's allowed
Lemmy is a god.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:49, Reply)

He is my principal role model in life.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Good.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Obvious post of the day

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Not a certain Mr.B then?

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:03, Reply)

He can't be his own role model
That'd just be silly
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:05, Reply)

It would be edgy
Or narcissistic
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:06, Reply)

oi
That's my dad you are slurring.......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 13 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Crocs are perhaps the single stupidest things ever invented
They serve no practical purpose in life, and I'd like to punch people who wear them.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Ugg boots
a thousand times over. I admit I haven't met everyone that wears genuine Ugg boots, to be fair, I suppose some of them might be ok and not little rich girls who got daddy to pay £100+ for something that's fuck ugly... but the vast majority you see are cheap Primark imitations worn by chavs and slappers, almost every single one of whom I would gladly set on fire.
Also, they cripple your feet and they look fucking ridiculous. And they were invented in Australia - who needs furry fucking boots in Australia?? The average temperature in great swathes of that place is only marginally less than the surface of the sun!
I admit that crocs also look damn silly but they're comfortable and nurses wear them. I'd rather get rid of footwear that chavs wear than footwear that nurses wear tbh.

aaaaand breathe
(berk, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I have proper Ugg boots.
I got them cheap on the net and only wear them in winter to keep my feet warm. Unfortunately this now makes me a cunt : (
( girlinthehole, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:48, Reply)

th s akes me
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:51, Reply)

You AGAIN!

( girlinthehole, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:58, Reply)

You can get better quality sheepskin boots driect from NZ
they are also cheaper.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:56, Reply)

They were directly from New Zealand and cheaper too.

( girlinthehole, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Ah, but REAL
Ugg boots are slightly different. I mean, still stupid looking and expensive obviously. But not worn by hate-filled tango-coloured trashbags.
(berk, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:02, Reply)

It's like wearing a cloud on your feet.

( girlinthehole, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:04, Reply)

They still fill
me with meh. They look like something that cavemen would wear, they're so clompy. Oh, and they seem to make people shuffle a lot. This only increases my rage.
(berk, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:06, Reply)

real ones are mostly worn by cunts these days as well

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Very
true. But you also live in Exeter I believe, which is a veritable Land of Cunty Rah Students. Especially in that new trendy shopping bit.
(berk, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:14, Reply)

indeed it is
that fucking Jack Wills shop (or whatever it is called) fills me with loathing and anger.

When I play gigs with the band the audience is often full of students. It's hard to stop myself from telling them how awful they are.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Tell them using the medium of song.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I'm going to suggest that tonight
"Carl", I will say "you need to write lyrics about how shit exeter students are"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:26, Reply)

The less obvious it is
the more smug and self-assured you can all be on stage when you play it. Either that or the lyrics should just be 'Exeter students dress like Gok Wan and should be horribly torn apart by a turbo-fan' screamed over and over while smooth folk rock rhythms and riffs are played out behind it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I like the second idea best

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)

It gets my vote.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:40, Reply)

real Uggs are worn by awful fucking rah-rah students
I loathe exeter uni students.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I loathe the type of students you describe
We should hurt them, let them know that they're in the wrong.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I own a pair of crocs.
I never wear them outside of the house. I got them because I slipped when barefoot and fell down the (wooden, steep) stairs in my house. Wait - I have worn them outside the house - I wore them in hospital instead of slippers and so I didn't have to stand in the manky hospital showers in my bare feet.
They do look like shit though.

I don't own Uggs but I do own sheepskin boots and they are the warmest, most cosy things ever, especially in my freezing, damp-ridden hovel. I wear them as slippers though, not as shoes. I fucking love sheepskin (no strikethroughs required).

I wouldn't ban any item of clothing because I'm not a fascist.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:49, Reply)

You should be killed and your body fed to rats.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:56, Reply)

You aren't the first person to tell me that.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:59, Reply)

At your last confession?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:09, Reply)

It will have to be the polo shirt
then I will never have to see another twat with a popped-collar
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:50, Reply)

All sportswear, not being used for playing sport in

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Jeans etc worn round the knees and held up by a belt and a prayer.
Just why?

Is it to give off a devil-may-care attitude of, aren't my underpants ace.
( girlinthehole, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:57, Reply)

This makes me angry
I just want to go after them with a nail gun, and nail the jeans to their back, so they won't be able to pull them down.

Cunts.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 May 2010, 9:59, Reply)

You have a
penis, here's an idea: I think it would be funny to go sneak up on people like that and give them a cheeky bumming - underpants alone are no protection against a determined hard-on. They might pull their jeans up then...
(berk, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:04, Reply)

While probably true...
No. Just no.

I'll leave the bumming to the Bumders.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I maintain
that this would provide excellent comedy value. Especially as the bumjean wearing idiots round here seem to be the homophobic type.
(berk, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Isn't that by Wings?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:58, Reply)

My 12 year old lad always tries to get away with wearing his jeans like this...
...always showing about 3 or 4 inches of boxers. Everytime I catch him he gets a wedgie. It's the only way he'll learn.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 13 May 2010, 10:26, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:40, Reply)

good parenting right there

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Fantastic

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 May 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Haha
If my kid ever brings home a boy with pants on show, that's what'll happen to him too.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 13 May 2010, 11:23, Reply)

this indeed
although funny when they fall down and the cunt falls over on their fucking face
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I hate those
lumberjack type shirts that fashionistas wear. Fucking bumders.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:06, Reply)

you are 15-20 years out of date with this comment

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:08, Reply)

He could be living in Norfolk

(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:09, Reply)

have they caught up that much?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Everyone has those sweep over fringes like a comb over which they spend all day flicking out of their face.
What's with that?
( girlinthehole, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:10, Reply)

They're emo
No one understands them.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:12, Reply)

No one understands the pain I'm going through but I manage to maintain a decent haircut.

( girlinthehole, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Heheh

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:16, Reply)

When I comb my mo' to one side
I look like Hitler.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I hate the birds nest look that's so popular now
with really choppy layers, the whole top layer is backcombed to within an inch of its life and the underneath layers are straight. It looks like a mullet put its fingers in an electric socket.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:39, Reply)

+1 for sports wear, Uggs & Crocs, and band t-shirts if you aren't a fan of the band
My missus works in New Look, so I potter around in there from time to time while waiting for her to finish. I have grown to hate the mens wear section (apart from their jeans), due to the vast quantities of neon shite therein. I swear the mannequins look like they were raped in a Highlighter factory.

Also, I hate anything with shoulderpads (girl clothes obviously, sequins and diamante accoutrement.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:16, Reply)

you didn't close your brackets!
God will kill one gerbil every minute until you close them!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Fucking cowboy hats.
Generally worn by girls who think they're very attractive and can dance fantastically but aren't and can't, who wear too much makeup and hang off shaved-headed blokes while pissed up on shots of sambuca. Madonna, you fucking unprecedented cuntbag.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I have literally never seen this.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I'm about four years behind
except there's one group of girls who regularly come around town dressed in this getup and they are just wrong. A pink cowboy hat! Have you even seen Brokeback Mountain?!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Juicy tracksuits
They should have 'arse' or 'slag' across the bum in glittery gothic script.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:26, Reply)

I hate Uggly Boots so much
and the way they make women walk - the Ugg Shuffle. It's so unattractive and in shopping centres it makes the most annoying shh shh sound. Plus it makes them walk like pigeons. Without the head bobbing obviously.

Apparently the fake uggs (or Fuggs haha) are really bad for your posture, ankles and back because they don't have the proper ankle support that the real ones do, which causes the pigeon footed spacker walk they all do.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:37, Reply)

the real ones don't have support either
they also wear really quickly on the soles, so if you have even a slight weirdness to your walk the sole gets worn at an angle, making matters worse.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Bet you wish you'd never bought them now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:59, Reply)

my brother had a pair back when they weren't ridiculously expensive and were worn by surfers
I only have one expensive pair of boots and they are those skull crushing ones
www.scorpioshoes.com/mens-2/boots-6/western-cowboy-43/caterpillar-vinson-p710476-mens-lengendary-rugged-10104-3256_zoom.jpg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 May 2010, 11:07, Reply)

'Pigeon footed spacker walk'
Yes. Oh yes. Although I always imagine it as the sound chav zombies would make..
(berk, Thu 13 May 2010, 11:07, Reply)

this needs to be included in the next Shaun of the Dead type film

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 13 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I'd ban...
bikini tops.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 13 May 2010, 10:55, Reply)

But...
boobs! Would you ban them for everyone or just people who you'd look at and think 'put it away for god's sake!'
(berk, Thu 13 May 2010, 11:06, Reply)

or does he mean ban them so that women on the beach are all topless

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 13 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Yes.

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 13 May 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Anything preceded by the word novelty.
Socks, ties, hats, all utter utter shite. If you require your clothes to make such bold statements about your personality, you don't have a personality. You are not a crazy whackster, you're just a little desperate for attention.
(Cave Duck, Thu 13 May 2010, 11:25, Reply)

oi!
I have a novelty dinosaur hat and it is awesome.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 13 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Well yeah, dinosaur adds gravitas, obviously.

(Cave Duck, Thu 13 May 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Low-rider jeans.
Not the half arse ones, the ones that create muffin tops and show off horrid bumcrack, shitty hag-tags and cellulite. No. Just no.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 13 May 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Skinny Jeans on men
If you want people to see your legs that badly, wear a damn pair of shorts.

With regards to the crocs thing, does anyone else remember a news story from some time ago about someone actually getting caught in an escalator because the tread on the bottom interlocked with the steps?

Edit: Croc escalator report

and Don't wear Ugg boots on a level crossing.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Thu 13 May 2010, 12:47, Reply)

This is brilliant!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 May 2010, 12:48, Reply)