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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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 Bloody hell!
	Bloody hell!I haven't been awake and functioning properly this early in a long time! I wasn't aware nine o'clock even existed any more. But it's only because I have cell biology exam at two that I desperately need to do some more revision for.
So, erm. Question. What's the oddest/most public place you've had a wank?
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 8:55, 145 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
 I have a friend who claims to have had a wank in a Chinook in Afghanistan
	I have a friend who claims to have had a wank in a Chinook in AfghanistanI don't believe him.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 8:57, Reply)
 Wembley Stadium
	Wembley Stadiumwhen I was 14, England Schoolboys vs some forrins. Those cheerleaders were hot!
Yes the cheerleaders, not the school boys and I was 14 so not a paedo. Mind you I'd do it again, 16s legal right?
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:07, Reply)
 Hospital
	HospitalI was stuck in hospital with a broken leg, and completely unable to sleep on my back with a mahoosive plaster of paris leg cast on. I also had the raging horn from, well, not wanking for a week. Sadly no fit nurses came over to give me a hand.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:10, Reply)
 When I was in hospital for 12 days
	When I was in hospital for 12 dayson day three the nurses couldn't keep their hands off my cock. Granted they were holding it tight to try and stop the blood flow whilst cutting all the clots out of my pubes but I still feel it counts as a threesome with two female nurses.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:17, Reply)
 I think I may have missed this story...
	I think I may have missed this story...Sounds horrific and quite fun at the same time.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:19, Reply)
 See my profile
	See my profile4th most popular story entitled "I lost over 5 pints and bled for 19 hours FROM MY COCK!!!!"
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:24, Reply)
 Bloody hell
	Bloody hellI do remember reading it, now that I see it again, but I'm still sitting with crossed legs.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:29, Reply)
 Best time of my life
	Best time of my lifeI had a (rather shit) girlfriend at the time. I like to think I cheated on her.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:31, Reply)
 Just read the story and feel dizzy at the thought of it.
	Just read the story and feel dizzy at the thought of it.I think you have every right to claim a 'nursey threesome'.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:15, Reply)
 That totally counts
	That totally countsAnd I'm glad you've got your 'ejaculating blood' thing under control.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:19, Reply)
 lying stretched across the work ladies bathroom sinks
	lying stretched across the work ladies bathroom sinksi dont know why either
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:12, Reply)
 Hmmmm, something about "cell"ing wank stories?
	Hmmmm, something about "cell"ing wank stories?I don't know, I'm not feeling very inspired today.
Some sort of default comment about you being easy or something.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:18, Reply)
 You're doing alright down there.
	You're doing alright down there.It's just me you don't make any effort with is it? Fine. Be like that.
*flounces*
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:22, Reply)
 Oh Em Gee!
	Oh Em Gee!It's girl who might tell you about a time she touched her fanny!
ENGAGE PANDERTRON!

(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:19, Reply)
 Part of me thinks I should've trademarked this image
	Part of me thinks I should've trademarked this imageBut seeing Al use it means I'm now FAMOUS on the INTERNET.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:23, Reply)
 I like the way you're trying to take credit
	I like the way you're trying to take creditFor the image that I made.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:26, Reply)
 will have something to say about that
	will have something to say about thathere's a safe link cgi.ebay.co.uk/Panda-Z-Volume-2-New-DVD-/360216134868?cmd=ViewItem&pt=UK_CDsDVDs_DVDs_DVDs_GL&hash=item53de8e04d4
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:30, Reply)
 Reported Attack Site
	Reported Attack SiteBut yes, I stole the image from a Google Image search for 'Panda Robot', then added the text.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:31, Reply)
 
	"This web page at www.ezhobi.com.tw has been reported as an attack page and has been blocked based on your security preferences."
Why would you send me there? Why? *sobs*
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:32, Reply)
 There's no comeback to that image.
	There's no comeback to that image.I would post it whenever you say something creepy but the NHS has limited Bandwidth.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:24, Reply)
 Ok, I would think it's pretty obvious
	Ok, I would think it's pretty obviousbut I've never had a wank in a public place. I don't even like kissing in public places, it's so unappealing for everyone else to have to see.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:22, Reply)
 A quick kiss is fine.
	A quick kiss is fine.But when they're trying to eat each others tonsils in the middle of the corridor and I'm late for maths, it makes me want to punch some fucking lights out.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:24, Reply)
 I don't like excessive PDAs either
	I don't like excessive PDAs eitherAlthough a quick, sly boob/bum grope is fine.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:26, Reply)
 I agree with both of these
	I agree with both of theseI don't mind showing a bit of affection in public, but it's the dry humping that I really hate. I also have some friends who will be all giggly and soppy with each other all the time and I fucking hate that.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:28, Reply)
 I hate that too, and try to curtail the Lady if she gets a bit like that with me around friends
	I hate that too, and try to curtail the Lady if she gets a bit like that with me around friendsI haven't seen much overt public sex since I left Liverpool, the Krazy House often had people fingerbanging under the stairs.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:33, Reply)
 Yeah, the ones that act like they're alone
	Yeah, the ones that act like they're aloneEven when they're with a group of mates, or even worse, a couple of other people and everyone just feels awkward and ignored.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:37, Reply)
 that's all it boils down to really,
	that's all it boils down to really,if they're fawning over each other, they're not paying me enough attention!
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:41, Reply)
 Cos we're both awesome
	Cos we're both awesomeAnd brilliant dancers with excellent dress sense? Yep.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:47, Reply)
 But she's the slightly kooky one
	But she's the slightly kooky onewhile you're the easy one who goes with all the guys down back alleys?
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:48, Reply)
 Does that make Al
	Does that make AlThe nerdy one with glasses, but who's actually smoking hot when she takes her glasses off and lets her hair down?
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:55, Reply)
 Al is blatantly the fat friend
	Al is blatantly the fat friendThat we keep around cos we feel sorry for him and he makes us feels thin.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:01, Reply)
 It was too easy, I couldn't NOT strikethrough
	It was too easy, I couldn't NOT strikethroughI shall be nice from now on.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:01, Reply)
 I agree with this
	I agree with thisand I am slightly mortified when I think back to an incident as a teenager when there was full on finger action going on in a shitty nightclub in Hove.
I think the youth of today don't do enough fingering. It's straight from kissing to full sex and all the problems that go with it.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:29, Reply)
 Sorry Kitty
	Sorry KittyIt's too early in the morning, it was the first thing that popped into my head.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:21, Reply)
 Haha
	HahaIt was either that or what song would you choreograoph a striptease to? And then I realised that I was the only girl here at the time, so this one would probably get more replies.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:25, Reply)
 I'm currently working on a pole routine for my beginners
	I'm currently working on a pole routine for my beginnersbut they're mostly trendies so I'm doing it to Alexandra Burke's broken heels song.
Next time it's NIN though. That'll learn them up.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:30, Reply)
 I've got so many songs I can't wait to try dancing to once I have my own pole.
	I've got so many songs I can't wait to try dancing to once I have my own pole.Bloody trendies. I don't even know who Alexandra Burke is. Get them on the NIN.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:35, Reply)
 Closer? Physical? Sunspots?
	Closer? Physical? Sunspots?Or will you be mean and go for Big Man With A Gun?
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:35, Reply)
 my friend was telling me about Trent's new band thing
	my friend was telling me about Trent's new band thinghe's writing the music and his wife is singing. Apparently she's really hot and awesome. This means he's less likely to fall in love with me if we ever meet.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:54, Reply)
 How To Destroy Angels
	How To Destroy AngelsCheck their website for an AMAZING music video. Yes, Mariqueen's incredibly hot, and has a beautiful voice.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:55, Reply)
 My grandfather (a general)
	My grandfather (a general)told my father that if you ever apologise, that means you are weak.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:35, Reply)
 True
	TrueThat's why Gordon Browns side lost. He should never have said sorry to that bigoted woman.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:51, Reply)
 I know a guy
	I know a guywho got CAUGHT wanking in a bus stop after a night out. I don't think he's ever lived it down.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:18, Reply)
 A guy in our maths class
	A guy in our maths classlets call him John Uren because that who it was got caught wanking under his maths book at the back of the classroom. Thankfully for us the teacher made it quite clear that she had caught him wanking and we all made sure he never lived it down.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:30, Reply)
 My loony ex
	My loony extossed me off on the Gatwick Express.
I can't believe I'm admitting this.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:32, Reply)
 It's still better than
	It's still better thanbeing tossed off the Gatwick Express. That would hurt.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:33, Reply)
 My loony ex used to go in to clothes stores
	My loony ex used to go in to clothes storespick out stuff she and dress up then drag me in to the change room, fuck me then put it all back on the hangers. It entirely possible that a London B3tan has worn clothes Christened with my own holy water.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:38, Reply)
 Never in public
	Never in publicper se, but when I was flying to the USA I snuck in to the toilets and, erm, well, I'm sure you can guess. It's not the mile high club if it's just self abuse though.
what? I felt like one!
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:37, Reply)
 Mrs T had one on a night flight...
	Mrs T had one on a night flight......under her blanket. I watched and felt my own pressure building and snuck off to the loo to knock one out.
She called me 'a big poof' for not doing it next to her and did not accept my excuse that it is harder for a chap to clean up the aftermath.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:50, Reply)
 To be honest
	To be honestI think you did the gentlemanly thing. The unpleasant stickiness that would ensue would be awful to walk through customs with.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:53, Reply)
 I was more worried that I would fall asleep...
	I was more worried that I would fall asleep......immediately after releasing the love-custard and wake to find I had not put the 'lad' away, and that my fellow passengers were waiting to get off. (In the disembark sense rather than me getting bukkaked.)
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:10, Reply)
 Glastonbury
	Glastonbury...in a tent....
...that wasn't mine.
I was a bit 'confused' at the time. (And The Throwing Muses had just played.)
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)
 I can imagine the scene.
	I can imagine the scene.'Well, they were a load of old wank - hmmm, that gives me an idea'
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:48, Reply)
 After that I spent a few hours...
	After that I spent a few hours......at eye level peering through the glass of a popcorn making machine pretending it was a volcano. The whirr of the motor and the sound of corn popping was the most interesting thing I had ever heard.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:05, Reply)
 In the bogs of an Intercity train, but i suppose everyone's done that.
	In the bogs of an Intercity train, but i suppose everyone's done that.In some bushes whilst camping out, overlooking some stunning Loch Lomond scenery. I had taken a load of whizz and simply couldn't get to sleep without offloading some filthy yoghurt.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:49, Reply)
 "but i suppose everyone's done that."
	"but i suppose everyone's done that."No, no they have not. Train loos are disgusting!
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:52, Reply)
 No
	Notrain toilets ARE disgusting. But then, I've pretended to nip out for a wee in the middle of lectures and had one in the toilets then. Student teaching block toilets aren't that amazing either...
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:54, Reply)
 They're not THAT bad
	They're not THAT badMy shame was overwhelmed by the smell of shit and piss, so that was a bonus
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:57, Reply)
 ZOMG!
	ZOMG!I totally could have, this one lass was giving me all the signs (bar flashing me her clunge), but I was with a lady back home at the time, so didn't even flirt back. The lady back home broke up with me two weeks after I got back...
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:12, Reply)
 When I was 19 I got hit on by the most beautiful Egyptian man when I was on holiday
	When I was 19 I got hit on by the most beautiful Egyptian man when I was on holidaybut I declined for the same reason. When I got back I found out my boyfriend had used the week I was away to shag other women in my bed.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:21, Reply)
 Absolutely gutting, isn't it?
	Absolutely gutting, isn't it?Having the moral high-ground is all well and good, but you could have been having awesome sex with a forrin.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:26, Reply)
 I know!
	I know!And he was a masseuse, so he had magic hands. He was slightly morally questionable though as he offered to waive the massage fee if I kissed him. Still, he had the bluest eyes I've ever seen *sigh*
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)
 The 'merican girl in my instance had eyes too
	The 'merican girl in my instance had eyes tooDunno what colour mind, she had a cracking body with a perfect set of boobs, a truly infectious laugh and was quite tactile.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:30, Reply)
 I'm still glad I didn't cheat though
	I'm still glad I didn't cheat thoughbecause then I would be just as bad as him. Except he did it in my bed, which added massive insult to injury. Cunt.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:31, Reply)
 I had to look behind me then, even though the likelihood of you having come to Manchester,
	I had to look behind me then, even though the likelihood of you having come to Manchester,found my office, climbed on the roof, located my window and starting wanking, is quite slim.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:26, Reply)
 So...
	So...Your office is in Manchester and the window to it can be located from the roof?
I'm slowly closing the net around you...
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:28, Reply)
 Not as slim as you'd think.
	Not as slim as you'd think.You don't know what he's like. I think the term is 'dedicated to his art'.
(, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:33, Reply)
 Toilets at work.
	Toilets at work.I used to have a manager who I couldn't stand, so when she told me via a third party that she wanted to see me, I would go for a two finger salute. When she asked where I was I would just tell her that I was round the building looking for her.
I awarded myself extra points for turning up looking hot and disheveled, and an extra life if I shook her hand.
Made the day go well.
(, Sat 29 May 2010, 18:52, Reply)
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