Weekend thread
What are you cunts up to?

Alt Q for those who have no life: how many of you pee sitting down?

Alt Q 2: do gentlemen prefer blondes? I know not many gents really come on these boards, but you may have met one once and asked him his sexual preference
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 13:55, 95 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

i have nothing to do all weekend but look after degus
I always pee sitting down
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 13:58, Reply)

yay for degus!
there were some in the pet shop on Wednesday, they're like giant copies of my gerbils, they're awesome.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:07, Reply)

they rule
although the 4 little ones are pretty naughty
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:37, Reply)

I have two rats, one is naughty and the other is awesome.
The naughty one bites all the time and is really nasty. The other one is dead chilled. He's a bloke though so that's probably why. I have to try and give them flea treatment tonight and it says to spray it on and then comb it off half an hour later. Have you ever tried combing a rat that wants to eat your eyeballs?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:50, Reply)

haha no!
just tried to give antibiotics to a cross dwarf hamster. Good luck
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Doing nothing aside from going to the pub tomorrow.
But I stand to have a piss.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 13:59, Reply)

I'm going to a burlesque night tonight
should be fun, boobs and that.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:01, Reply)

As a bloke I usualy piss standing up.
Unless i'm paraletic drunk, in which case I sit down, totaly avoids unwanted splashes.

And I'm off to london tomorrow :D
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:02, Reply)

I'm sweating cobs
The vagrants of Liverpool are having terrible trouble appreciating my parasol.

Fannily enough, I pee sitting down.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:05, Reply)

If I feel better
then Lawns Play, and possibly pub tonight. Tomorrow I might go to Brighton, and Sunday not much idea.

Alt Q: always
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I'm catching up on my corset orders
and doing college work, so nothing particularly exciting.

I pee sitting down. I was once offered a cone thing at a festival for the girls' urinals, but when she explained how to use it I handed it back and left. Most undignified!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Yes
I fell foul of one of those things at Leeds. I was approaching the realms of 'truly off my tits' and couldn't face the queues or smell of the portaloos, so toddled off to the urinals.
There's only a certain input-output those things will allow, and I exceeded it.
(berk, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:23, Reply)

hahaha
I'm imagining the panic rising with level of pee in the funnel.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Dear God
you have no idea. Shrieking 'stop, STOP!' at your own vee-jay-jay whilst simultaneously unable to muster the necessary muscle control does not a pretty spectacle make.

Then I figured wee is sterile, so the bits I'd pissed on were probably cleaner than the rest of me at that point.
(berk, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Its only sterile when its inside your body.
When it goes through your lower urinary tract and leaves your body, its no cleaner than washing in vomit.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Fewer
chunks though, and not as sticky.

I did wash my hands, I'll have you know!
(berk, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I think your signature needs to be changed

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Why?
in the lab I work in, science does not equal wee, or knowledge thereof.
(berk, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:46, Reply)

You don't use wee in your lab?
FAKE SCIENCE I TELLS YOU.

Sorry I thought insterility of urine was a common fact.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:00, Reply)

But vomit is sterile right?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Vomit is perfectly cromulent

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:39, Reply)

How's you?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Skint but good thanks, I'm seeing your bff this evening
How was slayer?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Fucking amazing
they played the whole of Seasons in the Abyss which I wasn't expecting at all. Three songs into the show though, they had to stop the gig as someone must have really hurt themselves in the audience and they had to get an ambulance to stretcher them out of the building. The crowd was really good about it, everyone just stood and waited.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:50, Reply)

damn
I've never used one, but I liked the idea. Peeing by a tree sounds way better than portaloos.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:41, Reply)

They're absolutely fine
to use as long as you don't piss like a firehose. Then they're really not.
(berk, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:43, Reply)

it was the whole stance that went against my grain
all the girls in the urinals were standing sort of bow legged and semi squatting, trying to direct a funnel of pee into the trough, I came over all Bree from Desperate Housewives.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:46, Reply)

it does sound somewhat undignified
perhaps one could still use the portaloo, but not have to sit on the seat, that would be an advantage in itself
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:58, Reply)

I'm going to see Rage in Finsbury Park
Anyone else going?
( Peej, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:10, Reply)

Fuck you, with your ticket and your gig and your sunshine.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I have a hot wife too

( Peej, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:17, Reply)

I pee sitting down.
I tried standing up to pee once when I was four but it didn't go well.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:11, Reply)

Maybe you dropped your keys in the loo

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I've even looked there.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

I dropped my phone in the loo once.
It was in my back pocket and as I pulled my jeans down it slipped out and went plop. As there was no pee in there I did retrieve it but it still didn't work ever again.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:51, Reply)

it Al
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:56, Reply)

hmmm probably going to see that bloke tonight
then probably going to get drunk
depending upon how hungover I am I may mow the lawn tomorrow
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:13, Reply)

I'm seeing Rent
and trying to finish a shitload of assignments while sweating out a flu.

(and peeing sitting down, although I've been trying to teach myself to do it standing. The last bit's the tricky part!)
(Lieutenant Colonel Oblivious brought to you by intravenous sugar, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Travelin' down tup London Town tomorrow
For a friend's wedding. I'm DJing it too, so will try not to get too hammered.

I mostly pee standing, unless I need to poo.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Wedding
189 miles away, sigh.

Alt Q: Standing, sitting when drunk and in the middle of the night when I don't want to put the light on. I might invent a glow in the dark loo.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:20, Reply)

just paint your todger with neons
and let it point the way
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I find my that with my hands it's the target that eludes me.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I regret to say
they've already been invented
(berk, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I'm soooooo tempted to get one of these for my nephew.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:30, Reply)

We used to have one
they are very good.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:36, Reply)

It's good, but...
I really want the entire bowl to be made of a phosperescant material, so it looks like a ghost bog.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

paint it with glow in the dark paint

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

it would wash off where you wee'd on it
which might look pretty cool. Hey! how about one which uses that global hypercolour paint!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:50, Reply)

This could be horrid

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:03, Reply)

You could get
a little UV lamp instead, it makes wee fluoresce. Or something. I can't imagine it would be all that good for you though, exposing your nethers to UV..
(berk, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:49, Reply)

if you drink enough red bull
it goes fluorescent anyway.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Friend is down for the weekend
Pub tonight
Beer festival followed by more drinking tomorrow
Recover Sunday
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:37, Reply)

I'm walking to a friend's house tomorrow and possibly getting a little mashed and playing Rock Band.
I'm still off the beer and loving it. Sunday is chill time. I prefer brunettes. I often pee sitting down because I'm a terrible shot and it's quite comfortable.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:38, Reply)

re. alt q 2
I doubt it, I have hair of the somewhat bright yellow-white persuasion and I'm not exactly swarmed by gentlemen. Mind you, face like a slapped arse doesn't help
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Haha!
Blondes do nothing for me. Men or women.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:46, Reply)

we just spend the whole time
panicking about suncream and wearing hats when the sun comes out
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

There was an article in a weekly mag about a women who got vit D deficiency by wearing too much sunscreen all the time.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)

another thing to worry about!
vitamins are for losers though!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Sun cream is for losers, I refuse to waer it because of Baz Lurhman
I'd rather get skin cancer and then bum him and give him cancer in his arse.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:58, Reply)

*is a loser*
I currently have 5 different sun creams
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:01, Reply)

I don't like blonde men
I can't think of any grown men with really blonde hair.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I had white blonde hair when I was little
now mousey brown/blonde and utterly dull.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:51, Reply)

my natural hair colour is mousey brown
but it hasn't been that colour since I was about 13. It's currently red and purple.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Like a bloody bruise...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:53, Reply)

mine started that colour
and never changed, it's a bit odd
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)

you're lucky
it's such a pretty colour. Mine was like that until 11, then it darkened to dark-blonde
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Oh FFS. Searching google for blonde men without safe search leads to several penises

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:53, Reply)

You fucking love it.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:55, Reply)

I doubt it, OT women are hawt

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

i sneaked in without being checked for hawtness
don't dob me in!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:49, Reply)

You become hawt by virtue of being here.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:50, Reply)

awesome

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:51, Reply)

innit!

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

[citation needed]

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:53, Reply)

*ignores*

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:55, Reply)

*flicks Vs at BGB and she'll never know*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Blond, brunette, black anything but ginger
you know what they say: rusty roof, stinky garage.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:48, Reply)

haha
I've never heard that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

dear god
I say that at least once a week on here. do you not pay any attention?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Haha my weekend just started.
No ops today, so I'll make up the time next week.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

i generally piss sitting down, and i'm a bloke.
Infinitely more civilised, why should the ladies get all the perks?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Girl

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:56, Reply)

A girl, with a non pissy floor.
My functioning alcoholism means i'm up for a waz more often than normal folk. The more gin, the less accuracy.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Gin is best of all the alcoholic depressants

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Do you ever tuck your cock bewteen your legs and dance in front of the mirror singing "I'm every woman"?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:57, Reply)

NO!
It's usually 'You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) ' by Dead or Alive.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:59, Reply)

This would involve cock out surely?

Wait is there a gif od you somewhere on the internet? Meatspaz, meatspritz, meatspin...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:00, Reply)

The cock comes out during the chorus.

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)

1. Mixing some recordings in the hope of making them listenable, so my band might finally have something decent to show after 6 years playing together
2. I usually pee standing up, having a penis and all. Though sometimes I find myself peeing sitting down, for instance if I sit down to take a poo and it turns out just to be a particularly hefty pocket of wind, I decide I might as well take a pee while I'm down there.

3. I don't think I count as a gentleman, and the only person I've met who claimed to be a gentleman was, in fact, a twat. However, to answer your question as someone who would like to be thought of as a gentleman one day: I don't know. I'm really not sure what my preference is these days, though my two main sleb crushes are blonde, so perhaps those with aspirations to gentlemanliness have a slight but statistically not-that-significant tendenct towards blondes.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Being a dad
I sometimes pee sitting down, usually just after a fervent wank, because it takes longer for the pee to come out.

I'm not fussed about hair colour, physique, or even gender anymore
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:23, Reply)

i hear that boys with morning wood
have to pee sitting down so they can tuck their willies downwards to avoid peeing in their own eyes.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:26, Reply)

this is true
either that or do a handstand
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)

It's not so much 'sitting down'
as hovering your arse over the toilet bowl with your head in your knees, aiming your veritable oak tree downwards and hoping in the name of all that is sacred and profane that you can successfully micturate without accidentally rubbing your helmet on the inside of the khazi or, worse, missing completely and pissing in your own face.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:28, Reply)

good description

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:28, Reply)

we ladies hover in public toilets
it's great for toning the thighs and bum.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:37, Reply)

toning the thighs and bum any midget rapists who are hiding in the cistern
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Hahahahahahahaha

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:42, Reply)

that is an unlikely scenario
however, getting someone else's pee all over your bum is not.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Depends what sort of parties you go to, really.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)

"those girls get pissed on in parties"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Gaaah, mental block!
What's that from?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:50, Reply)

My qotw answer last week
And I've brought it up here before.
It's the best advice my dad ever gave me.

b3ta.com/questions/goodadvice/post730402
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:52, Reply)

Hahaha
That is brilliant advice, I thought I remembered it from somewhere.

I'd like to think your dad went along to those girls' parties and found a moment to burst in an urinate all over them before taking a polaroid and scarpering into the night. Just to prove a point and make sure his daughter was brung up proper like.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)

he was more likely to burst into MY room and nick my shirts
cos they were ironed by my mum, and his weren't, and we were the same size, and I was lezzy then.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Nope, can't do that
it gets caught on the inside of the bowl :C
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:29, Reply)