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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'm a bad person
I just made a comment on a friends facebook status saying she wished her friend felt better suggesting chocolate and cock. Little did I know said friends mother had just died. I actually feel a bit bad on the internet about this.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:51, 137 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
I think this will make you feel better
www.vuvuzela-time.co.uk/
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:52, Reply)
It's like having a beehive in my computer
I'm going to stick to Miley.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)
MileyBird
it's made me proper LOL

still, if all else fails you could, I don't know, apologise?
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Oh I did straight away
I'm not a heartless bastard in real life.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)
wh....what?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:59, Reply)
Nah bollocks
I hope your dog gets a sore paw and walks with a limp for a few hours and then licks it for a while and then gets better.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:00, Reply)
I hope your ballsack starts to seperate from your body but then they heal up nicely

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:05, Reply)
I hope you get an itchy minge as you're walking down a busy street
and you don't want to scratch it in public so you end up walking about two blocks squirming and moving your legs in funny direction trying to make it stop prickling before you final just give in and duck into a alley and adjust your underwear.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:09, Reply)
oh my god I hate it when that happens after a wax

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:14, Reply)
*makes a mental note to hang around alleyways 2 blocks away from waxing parlours*

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:22, Reply)
why would you want to watch a girl not scratching her minge?
that's what most girls are doing most of the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:33, Reply)
No
I want to watch girls shoving their hands down their pants. Probably easier if I just browse the internet a while.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:37, Reply)
I hope you find a hundred on the ground and as you bend to pick it up you realise you can't straighten your back
and the bill flies away before you can pick it up and all you can do is watch it float in the wind and frown
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:20, Reply)
we don't have hundreds
so it'd be one of yours which is worth what? £4? hardly worth the bother of bending down
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)
one day *shakes fist*

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:24, Reply)
bwahahaha
*twirls moustache*
*swirls cape*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:32, Reply)
*shoots you in the face*

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:36, Reply)
that's just mean

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:37, Reply)
Send a chocolate cock to the funeral.
She will see the funny side.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)
I felt bad for suggesting I shagged your mum up the poopipe via facebook
I got over it though. I'm sure you will too.


seriously however: would that person find that sort of thing funny under normal conditions? if so, I don't think you have anything to worry about.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)
Probably
I did recently suggest she checked how hot her coffee was by dipping her cock in it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:57, Reply)
pfft

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:58, Reply)
Seeing that would have made me smile after my dad died. Everyone was too afraid to be normal and were being weird instead
I think you did a good thing.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:58, Reply)
that was my view as well

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:59, Reply)
She deleted my comment
I'm not even facebook friends with her friend.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:00, Reply)
Ahh, I thought you knew her. Give it some time, then send her a chocolate cock. She'll appreciate the sentiment

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:01, Reply)
Now I want a chocolate cock
as well as a Tunnock's Tea Cake.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:59, Reply)
*squirts chocolate sauce down his pants*

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:00, Reply)
but do you have a Tunnock's Tea Cake on standby as well?

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:01, Reply)
*panics*
For you, I'll find one!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:02, Reply)
*wiggles bottle of chocolate sauce and winks*

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:17, Reply)
om nom nom

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:27, Reply)
*eyes cross*

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:40, Reply)
one of my friends posted with something like "just when you think life can't get any shitter.."
and I put 'cheer up emo kid' on it, but it turned out his mother had tried to kill herself at the weekend. He did call me a bitch afterwards though. Still, people should make it clear if they're upset about something real or something lame like Twilight.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:59, Reply)
Or stop putting vague status updates.
Specify what you're upset/stressed/emo about!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:01, Reply)
I'm of teh opinion that people shouldn't post cryptic things on facebook
if they are genuinely sad. Loads of my relatives died last year and funnily enough I didn't mention it on here or facebook.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:01, Reply)
Exactly.
When will people learn that Facebook is for the mundane, trite and trivial comments that no one actually cares about?
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:02, Reply)
Didn't you announce your wedding to Catface on there?
*hides*
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:07, Reply)
Facebook is for the mundane, trite and trivial comments that no one actually cares about?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:08, Reply)
Exactly.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:13, Reply)
totally agree with this
the internet isn't the place for genuine emotion

except ANGER!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:03, Reply)
were they in a cult?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:11, Reply)
they were in The Cult
responsible for such hits as She Sells Sanctuary and Rain
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:12, Reply)
"There's a revol-oooooo-shun..."

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:18, Reply)
I'm excited about seeing them at Sonisphere

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:20, Reply)
Just before Iggy and the Stooges too!
*jealous*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:27, Reply)
CAR INSURANCE

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)
I'm tempted to make a big sign for the Alice Cooper set
that says "IF IT WEREN'T FOR CHRIS MOYLES, YOU WOULD BE THE SHITTEST BREAKFAST SHOW RADIO DJ!"
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:31, Reply)
I hate when people post "some people should watch what they're saying" or similar
and then when people ask who it's about they go "oh I can't tell you" or "I'll message you".

IT'S SO ANNOYING
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:12, Reply)
If they're going to be a silly cunt, then they deserve to get the piss taken.

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:02, Reply)
That's pretty bad
but she might be sick of people walking on eggshells around her.
Plus you're not exactly going to make her feel worse.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:00, Reply)
Unless her mum died eating chocolate cocks

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:02, Reply)
Choked to death on the creamy filling.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:03, Reply)
But what a way to go

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:04, Reply)
Oh man, that's how I want to go. Creamy filling running down my chin.

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:08, Reply)
*lowers newspaper*

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:08, Reply)
Eugh god, I can't believe you're going tonight when you weren't even invited.

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:12, Reply)
hahaha
non sequential, love it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:13, Reply)
Don't worry I'll barely talk to you.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:15, Reply)
Barely or avoid my gaze at all costs?

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:25, Reply)
I will say hello and try to be nice
then give up and go talk to someone who doesn't hate me.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:25, Reply)
HAHAHAHAH
Good luck with that.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:27, Reply)
It'll probably end up being someone giving out metros on the street.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)
Aw now you're just trying to fill in for Kaol.
Needs more tramp juice.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:30, Reply)
Please dont

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:36, Reply)
ok then

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:39, Reply)
happy to oblige

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:08, Reply)
Proffers chin

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:12, Reply)
*Smashes you in the face with an oversized chocolate eclair*

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:15, Reply)
*spluffs*
it's like all my dreams come true!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:20, Reply)
Oh...jeez....now I'm gonna...
*convulses, collapses, grinning inanely with a damp crotch*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post760483
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:22, Reply)
Great, now you've created an infinite loop of the two of us Gushing

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:23, Reply)
the universe may as well just end now

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:30, Reply)
Wha? What did I do to deseve that? Vipros was giving me the good stuff

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:25, Reply)
no wait
this'll work
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:26, Reply)
You wanted choclatey-creamy goodness on your face
I was obliging!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:26, Reply)
If you like
While you're dazed and covered in cream, we can bosh one out on your slightly-concussed face?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)
But Vipros was doing it perfectly well and you barged in and Oh oh oh I'm so mad I could scream

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:36, Reply)
*hangs head*
Was just trying to help
*drops remains of oversized chocolate eclair*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:38, Reply)
awww I has a sad for you!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:52, Reply)
Pfft

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:56, Reply)
what a way to go.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:03, Reply)
A way to go, what?

(Cave Duck, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:07, Reply)
Do you understand how this nested reply thing works?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:10, Reply)
what a way to go

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:11, Reply)
go away

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:11, Reply)
what way?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:11, Reply)
wayay man

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:13, Reply)
Who sung this?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:16, Reply)
you're a loser
that's who.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)
*high fives*
NICE!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:22, Reply)
This meme is taking off.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:24, Reply)
by taking off do you mean
largely being ignored?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:27, Reply)
It pisses you off
so I count that as a success.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)
of all the inane things you do
trying to force this into a meme is the least annoying.

It's lame. More specifically, you're lame.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:30, Reply)
your reply in this very thread made the whole thing worthwhile

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:32, Reply)
I try and make the best of a bad situation.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:37, Reply)
I've noticed

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:40, Reply)
Yeah. Do you understand what a massive cunt you are?

(Cave Duck, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:16, Reply)
This one is definitely going on my profile

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:26, Reply)
oh al, if only there was a song lyric to sum up how devastated you must feel.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)
I'll bet that celebrated cockney poet and gimpy leg man Ian Dury has something that will touch my soul
Either that or Green Day
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:29, Reply)
Cockney?
Do you understand what an ignorant cunt you are?
(Cave Duck, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:59, Reply)
Who sung this?

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)
Don't encourage him.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:30, Reply)
don't help him!
GOD!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:31, Reply)
Wait, who shouldn't I be helping?

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:37, Reply)
Psychochimp

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:41, Reply)

i u
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:43, Reply)
I did that one once a while ago
He got angry.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:51, Reply)
keep that one in reserve then

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:54, Reply)
Oi, you called my friend a cunt
I like you
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:35, Reply)
ouch
However in other news, I am now on the bus to london.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:23, Reply)
What are the wheels doing?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:25, Reply)
Who sung this?

(Cave Duck, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:27, Reply)
:D

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:29, Reply)
I hate you for making me laugh with that

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:27, Reply)
Three of them are going round and round
the forth is going FWAP! FWAP! FWAP! FWAP! FWAP!

The babies are screaming and the driver is going "OH GOD NO WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)
Don't sweat that.
At such times any distraction can be welcome. Even the chance to rail against an unfeeling remark. And a shag is definitely diverting.
And after all, you recommended two well proven means of comfort.
Even bet she will not take it amiss. Even more chance she will realise you posted unknowingly.

Of course, best to leave the country for a few weeks just in case.
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)
Hey Al, add Amber1 to facebook and perve at her pics, that's what I've been doing for the last few minutes
Totally would with those shapely boobs
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:34, Reply)
I did that a couple of weeks ago
the one of her in the blue dress is rather fine.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:35, Reply)
HOW DARE YOU BOTH HAVE A FRIEND ON FACEBOOK THAT I AM NOT FRIENDS WITH.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:38, Reply)
you're missing out
she's like the best facebook friend ever
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:40, Reply)
HOW DARE YOU HAVE BETTER PLANS THAN TO SHARE YOUR HOT WIFE WITH ME AND BECKY!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:42, Reply)
I've told you already, they're not better.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:45, Reply)
Yeah I know
You'd have to go a long way to get better than me, becky and Clendrix, even with the massive negative that is the presence of Pyschochomp.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:47, Reply)
This is going to be one of the most depressing nights of my life.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:51, Reply)
I hope you go to KFC on your way home

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:53, Reply)
I'm going to cause a passenger incident

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:54, Reply)
Ladies and Gentlemen
the train to Milton Keynes has been delayed due to the presence of soggy chips and a half eaten wing on the track.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:00, Reply)
Well FUCK YOU, buddy.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:53, Reply)
at least I got mentioned.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:54, Reply)
ALL ATTENTION IS GOOD ATTENTION

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:59, Reply)
Oh man, I KNOW RITE?

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:57, Reply)
chocolate and cock are a fine combination
although I'm not sure about both at the same time - I suspect cock does not improve the taste of chocolate
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:36, Reply)
Chocolate and cock
Would go a long way to making me feel better right about now.
(lympicita_ie, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 16:30, Reply)

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