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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I hate coming out of a meeting to find that all the threads have got shitloads of replies
makes it much harder to swing the conversation round so it's about me.

What are you having for lunch?

Mine's moroccan chicken soup
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:39, 123 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Moroccan Cous Cous salad
From Tesco.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:40, Reply)
I'm eating the fear of some Manc bastards.

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:41, Reply)
care to elaborate?

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:42, Reply)
The guys who now own my flat are based in manchester.
"Sam" (won't give me her surname) just had me quoting laws at her and criminal and civil liability for half an hour. She's talking to her manager.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:44, Reply)
bastards
can't believe she won't give her surname
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:47, Reply)
Hell she's just a phone monkey,
I wouldn't have had such a go at her if she had returned my call pre 5pm yesterday, like she promised, but she went home instead.
I fucking guilt tripped her to fuck for that, "do you know how hard it is to hear you've gone home when I haven't got a home to go to"
rofl
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:49, Reply)
that is a great bit of guilt tripping :-)
it's not that hard not to be a shit phone monkey really
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:51, Reply)
one of our clients put in an email that I was a credit to the company the other day
so you can be a good little phone monkey if you try.

I just wish he'd CCd it to the boss so I don't have to print it out and put it on my wall in the hope that someone will notice.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)
just forward it to your boss

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)
I thought about but that seems a bit lame
although one of our top profile (alleged) murderers did directly tell the boss that he thought I was wonderful and asked if I was a solicitor when I am but a mere pencil pusher.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:08, Reply)
I just called back to speak to the manager
she's at lunch and wont be back for another hour.
Then they asked how I got hold of them in the first place. Like they're admitting "omg, I don't want to deal with this shit, why aren't we anonymous."
fucking cunts.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:11, Reply)
do you just want your stuff back or do you want to fight them for monies and shiz?

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:15, Reply)
I have given them the ultimatum to either let me back in tonight
and continue to reside there until the 26th of next month, which is 5 months into a 6 month contract. And I will sign a "notice requiring possession" which lets them legally evict me without notice from midnight 27th. Or I unleash legal hell, which will delay the sale of the property past the 26th.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:19, Reply)
And cost them more than it's worth just in fees.

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:20, Reply)
Sounds like you're going through shit
You have my sympathies, I fucking hate cunty landlords.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:22, Reply)
If I wasn't so angry it would almost be fun.
I'm now putting in a Freedom of information request for all emails containing my name and all recorded conversations between me and them.

It'll cost me a tenner but it's a fucking pain in their arse.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:26, Reply)
FoI requests are a massive pain for them.
Are you getting advice from anyone? CAB might be worth a chat (although they were shit when I had landlord hell), plus the lovely rachelswipe helped me out loads!
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)
Yeah, CAB and Shelter have helped
and Rswipe's been helpful but she's on holiday so I can't make her kick the door down.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:32, Reply)
Ah of course she is :)
I hope you can get what you're asking for quickly.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:33, Reply)
Not if they keep fobbing me off,
I'm tempted to start a twitter to give live updates of who when where I talk to and what they say.

Probably not legal though.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:34, Reply)
I think if you make them aware
At the start of each conversation that it will be recorded and broadcast, you might be ok.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)
Each conversation in and out of my desk phone is recorded,
I haven't told them this but because I hear a "this conversation may be recorded" message their side, I'm allowed... sort of.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)
haha that made me lol

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)
I am about to have a load of cheese I recently found in somebody's flat

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:51, Reply)
I hope you die of AIDS

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)
sounds like he'll probably get gout first

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)
Had that once. Fucking hurt.

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)
was it from misappropriated Waitrose cheese?

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:17, Reply)
No. A bottle of late bottle vintage port I was given for Christmas. I consumed the lot in one evening on top of a load of red wine.

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:23, Reply)
can you get AIDS from cheese?

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)
just an egg and cress sandwich
But I've had no bread since Saturday so it was bliss.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:41, Reply)
I'm not.
I've only just had breakfast.

I'M SO BORED.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:42, Reply)
Get a job!

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:43, Reply)
Got one.
Next shift isn't til Friday.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:44, Reply)
Very good

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:46, Reply)
Still bored though.

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:47, Reply)
Get a hobby!

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)
I have several!
I just can't do any at the moment. No pole access, boy in turkey, no money for fabric...
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:15, Reply)
No pole access because the boy's in turkey ;)
Any nice walks you can go on? Try to learn a language online? Become a camgirl?
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:17, Reply)
Cheeky.
Yes, but that's all I've been doing anyway. Interesting suggestion, I do want to learn Finnish. And a what now?
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:21, Reply)
Cam girl?
It was a jokey suggestion, but a cam girl is someone who does rude things on webcam, which guys pay to have access to.
Try finding some websites that'll help you learn Finnish. Even if you only get the basics in your time off, it'll be worth it.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:23, Reply)
books?

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)
make 1000 origami cranes
I've made one so far. It's fucking hard.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)
digging Vast, got hold of some last night
I like the old and the newer stuff
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:44, Reply)
S'good, isn't it?
First album and 'April' are crackin'!
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:45, Reply)
that's what I found
there was a gap in my collection which needed filling by something like that
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:46, Reply)
I'm happy to have helped fill your gap

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)
despite the dodgy name
'touched' is one of my favourite ever songs
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)
'Dirty Hole' for me

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)
christ
could we get any more suggestive here?
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:12, Reply)
'You're too young for me'?

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:13, Reply)
When I'm bored
I like to google things like where to go next on holiday, or what car will I be buying in a few months, or what bass guitar.

Sometimes not only passes the time but provides motivation. Sometimes mind..

The answers of course are Tuscany, a VW Polo and a white Fender J-Bass..
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:44, Reply)
I've been stuck at home for a month now.
I've actually run out of things to do on the internet.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:45, Reply)
Hari-kari it is then....

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:47, Reply)
Give it another week or so.

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:48, Reply)
you're up early

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)
I know.
I might as well go back to bed, it's probably more exciting.
I'll be fine once my pole gets here, but that's another week yet.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)
did you see my rant about my pole student?
I had them going back from the chair last night, I was holding them and everything, but she fucking screamed and let go. She then said she was going to faint from the pain. Drama much?!
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)
No I didn't.
Fucking hell, what a pussy. Tell her to grow a pair. If she's like that now,imagine what she'll be like with superman, or teddybear, or brass monkey... Or essentially ANY KIND of intermediate/advanced move. She needs to MTFU.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:08, Reply)
I mentioned superman.
None of the others complain even though they all feel the same pain. She just stops in the middle and then whines that she can't do it. She's put her facebook status as "I never want to do that again EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!". Grrrr.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:10, Reply)
Superman sounds worse than it is,
It's the noise as you slide down the pole that's so delightful.
Ha, I would be so tempted to comment "Well don't bother coming back then"

Is it weird that I sort of enjoy the pain in a non-weird way, cos then I know I'm making progress.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)
I think that's kind of how I feel
It hurts but if I can get through it I know it'll be better next time. If it doesn't hurt it usually means you're not doing it as well as you should be.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:19, Reply)
Yeah, exactly.
And with some things, you need the pain, because it tells you you're ready to move onto the next part of the move - like teddybear. Once your arm wrecks, you know you're grip is tight enough to lift up your legs.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:23, Reply)
yeah hopefully one day I'll actually be able to do it!!

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)
you need a project
perhaps you could write all my lesson plans for me? I've been avoiding them for days
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)
I have one, but he's in turkey til Saturday.
I want to start making my own clothes again, so once my wges come in I'm going to go get a pattern and some cheap fabric and start playing.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)
or if you are broke
find things in charity shops and modify
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:11, Reply)
Ooo, interesting suggestion,
I might go and have a look in town later. Where I live has nothing but charity shops, pubs and hairdressers.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:16, Reply)
did this yesterday wondering which bands I might be able to see
by coincidence the Levellers were playing last night in Greenwich so I was able to get a ticket & go. Result.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:48, Reply)
Start making your dinner now

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:56, Reply)
I'm not allowed to cook when I'm at home.

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)
Why?

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:10, Reply)
Dunno.
Mother just likes to do all the cooking, doesn't let anyone else have a look-in. I can't even make my own meals if I come in late.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:11, Reply)
Wow

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:12, Reply)
Yeah.
And it's not like I'm going to burn the house down or poison everyone or anything, I'm actually a pretty good cook.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:19, Reply)
I've had two ham and cheese rolls
And my thread didn't have loads of replies, you thread-jacking bugger!

*humphs*
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:44, Reply)
it appeared as I was writing mine!
sorry!
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:45, Reply)
Ah, OK.

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)
I'm going to fucking KFC cos I'm a fucking maverick right and I don't play by your fucking rules yeah?
FUCK
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:45, Reply)
you're not Maverick.
I'm Maverick. You can be Iceman.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:58, Reply)
Lobster.
And the finest wines known to humanity.
And a rice krispie bun.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:47, Reply)
I bet it's one of those £3 ASDA Lobsters
that's killing the shellfish industry. And cheap LIDL wine. You charlatan.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:54, Reply)
He got the rice krispy bun
from Fortnum and Mason though.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:57, Reply)
i've not decided
perhaps some supernoodles, or hotdog sausages. I'm classy,me
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:48, Reply)
have both together

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:53, Reply)
that's some kerazy thinking there

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:57, Reply)
parma ham baguette.

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:48, Reply)
who-o-oa
livin' dangerously there
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:50, Reply)
life in the fast lane

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:52, Reply)
surely make you lose your mind

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:54, Reply)
My work have accidentally been given a buffet we didn't order
so I'm filling my pockets with samosas, bhajis, sandwiches, mini toad in the holes and cakes.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:50, Reply)

pockets arsehole
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:53, Reply)
Officelol

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:54, Reply)
they taste better that way

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)
I wish things like that happened in my office.
or the free fruit thing, I want free fruit.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:56, Reply)
Oh there's fruit too
little skewers with kiwi and melon on them, and sugar-coated grapes. It's just not as easy to squeeze them up my poop chute
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:57, Reply)
Surely the grapes would be quite at home
with the haemorrhoids?
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:01, Reply)
I've never had haemorrhoids
because my backside has always been unbelievably tight
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)
Nah, that can't be right
I've had them but people are forever calling me a tight arse.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)
At my job last summer
There was a biscuit cupboard which was always kept well stocked, and a 'fancy biscuit' cupboard, which were only meant for clients. No-one seemed to heed this rule.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:03, Reply)
I hear Bruce Willis is set to play you in the film
and we were meant to be together
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:10, Reply)
rye bread with smoked salmon and philly.

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:54, Reply)
nice
not had any smoked salmon since the hebrides. they know how to smoke a salmon up there. fucking lovely.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)
I treat myself once a week : )

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:58, Reply)
Especially if it's proper wild salmon
and not the farmed kind, with white fat in the flesh.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:58, Reply)
I'll give you some white fat in your flesh

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:01, Reply)
Sounds like an offer
I can't refuse.

But I think I will anyway.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)
that just makes it all the sweeter
when I do eventually slip my length into your hairy, scottish hole
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)
I've been watching Seaside Rescue in the hope of seeing you
it hasn't happened yet.

Mine's reheated pasta bake, which is pretty nom. I have to wait 6 mins before I can eat it though.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:54, Reply)
I don't think they tend to go to beaches I surf at
and I haven't needed rescuing yet
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)
are you never tempted to strap a shark fin to you back and go snorkelling?

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:57, Reply)
would you believe that it has never occurred to me?
snorkelling amongst waves is tricky as well
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)
just hold your breath then
Please do it. Please film it.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)
^this

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)
I've swam in a pool with my mohiccan up
And gurgling the Jaws theme underwater.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:08, Reply)
hahaha

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:13, Reply)
haha Zoidberg
woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:20, Reply)
I bought a BMT from Subway, before realising I wasn't hungry, so that's in my drawer
But my sweet tooth rules my body, so currently I'm eating skittles.

And this is amusing me greatly
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)
for some reason when I read 'moroccan' I thought of 'Pocahontas'
Not sure about lunch yet.

I'm a very sad kitty this morning, the concert I was going to go to alone was sold out when I went to buy the ticket yesterday.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:12, Reply)
scrambled eggs on toast with parma ham.
mmmmmmmm
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:23, Reply)
I have just had a suitably MASSIVE LUNCH
Having run out of bread at home, I went down to the refectory to buy a baguette and found out they were selling them at half-price. So naturally I did the sensible thing and had two.
(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

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