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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I challenge you
if Off Topic can get this thread over 5600 replies I will delete the Bert Monkeysex account and be gone forever.

DO IT
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:37, 21 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Ok

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:43, Reply)
are you sure this is a wise course of action?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:45, Reply)
why not?
I'm encouraging you all to break what may be an OT record (has a thread ever gone over 500 before?)
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:46, Reply)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:48, Reply)
It has?
Bugger. What's the highest it's ever gone before?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:49, Reply)
you wanna trawl through them all to find out?
really?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:50, Reply)
Nope
just wondering whether anybody knows off the top of their head the highest it's ever gone
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:51, Reply)
I think it was in the 500s
and it was only a couple of months ago
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:52, Reply)
I'll edit to 600 then
no point in me leaving for no good reason
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:53, Reply)
You do seem really bored here

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:54, Reply)
and no one likes him

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:54, Reply)
Some of us have been very nice and fair towards him
But I think he prefers having sticks poked through the bars of his cage
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:57, Reply)
I totally do
I get off on it
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)
I'm sure the old HSH threads
often got to 400 quite easily.

Bert is incredibly boring. He tries to be abrasive to hide it
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)
totally true, dat
I'm scared in case one of you scratches beneath my incredibly shallow exterior and reveals that there is absolutely nothing underneath
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:56, Reply)
This is the only truthful thing you have ever posted on OT
I think we should all give Bert a big round of applause for his break through. It makes a really nice change from all the dull breakdowns
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:57, Reply)
fuck off, you fat, meatball-headed, droopy-cunted
mingebag
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)
I really am
I'm just here because I have nothing better to do right now.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)
But you criticised Becky for that earlier
Maybe you should watch some old films.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:03, Reply)
I criticised Becky for spending her every weekend alone
not for being bored at work
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)
But you know she didn't spend her weekend alone
So all she did was post on a Monday while bored on her way to her new job.

I'm not suggesting you leave, but you're as much of a mong as the rest of us.
Do you really want to leave?

'Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name, and they're not really glad you came but they'll mostly tolerate you and give you the petty arguments you need to get you through the day.'
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)
I have another account
so I won't actually be leaving, I'll just be killing off my sad, trollish account.

I am better than most of you.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)
Is this a ploy to get Bert to heavily contribute to getting over the magic 600
Thus effectively kicking himself off?
Because I like that idea
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)
I'm happy to help

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:10, Reply)
haha I like this

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:11, Reply)
This is it
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post733817
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)
Oh, no!
But I don't want you to go... so... I shouldn't be writing here, should I?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)
no please continue

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:57, Reply)

sadly, I have another account that doesn't really use OT, so I will still be on B3ta, or at least, the better half of me will be
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:58, Reply)
I've just taken you off ignore
so I am torn.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:57, Reply)
shut up, chompy

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:58, Reply)
doesn't work anymore, I'm too busy feeling sorry for you

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:02, Reply)
shut up, chompy

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:03, Reply)
do you need a hug?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)
shut up, chompy

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)
It's ok Bert do you want to talk about your attention seeking problem?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:08, Reply)
Shut up, Chompy

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:10, Reply)
Annoying, certainly. Predictable, often, Boring, seldom
what the fuck is wrong with you Bert?
Man up you homme.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:20, Reply)
that wasn't me, dipshit

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:23, Reply)
Oh yeah
Edit - still applies though, man up!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)
shut up, chompy

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)
skills

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)
Hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)
boobs

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:58, Reply)
boobs!!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:58, Reply)
Boobs!
It won't let me post an identical one so I have to keep modifying it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)
BOOBS

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)
BOOBS

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)
BOOBS

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)
BOOBS

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)
touche
Boobs McKenzie!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)
flange

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:58, Reply)
I like boobs

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:58, Reply)
they're ok

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)
They're fantastic

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)
What?! 'OK'?
They're AWESOME. You secretly know this, but you're just downplaying it to be cool.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)
B3ta ladies all have epic breasts
not that I've been looking, of course not *runs*
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)
it's true
I'm also blase about food and cats.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:08, Reply)
Cats I can take or leave
Food is lovely, and boobs are AWESOME.
Stop trying to be kooky and admit that boobs rock.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)
cats are actually shit though

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)
I agree
They are inherently shite.

Could be worse though, could be celery
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:10, Reply)
NOOOOOOOO!
At the weekend I dreamt about my cat that died at easter. As I woke up I felt the bed move like a little body had jumped up and was walking up towards me.

Opened my eyes, nothing there. Spooky but nice.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)
They don't like you

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)
Is that why your nipples harden whenever you see me?
They're enraged by my presence?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:01, Reply)
yes lab

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:02, Reply)
I like that we're clearing the air between us today
Very mature of us I reckon.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:02, Reply)
Clearing the air of all the obstacles that try come between us?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)
You're my sister
Don't be disgusting. I do love you though, and I'd beat up any boy who makes you cry (unless I find it funny or they're, like, really strong).
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)
I like how every man ever is contained in those parentheses

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)
Some men I find funny AND they're strong.
Which means, if they make you cry, I beat you up.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:18, Reply)
pft
I'd like to see you try
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:19, Reply)
You wouldn't see it
I'm like a ninja, me.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:21, Reply)
I'll just make sure I am standing behind a BBQ at all times

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)
Damn you,vile woman!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:29, Reply)
seems like sexual tension to me

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)
Quick question
Do I ask the mods to delete the account, or post something so sickeningly offensive they delete it once and for all?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)
Your banter has been sickeningly offensive from day 1.

(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)
Not true
I was the Gonzo of Off Topic back in my day

(in that I was retarded and daft, that is)
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)
Clear out your gaz folders
Post your password up so that someone can change it (you won't know who). Done.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:11, Reply)
Don't be silly
no one ever gazzes Bert
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:13, Reply)
Nearly 3000 in my archive
mostly from adoring fans and admirers

adoring fans and admirers complete and utter fucking mongs
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:15, Reply)
So gazzing yourself then?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:16, Reply)
the very height of what qualifies as wit on Off Topic^^^
'no, you are'
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:16, Reply)
Isn't that essentially your tactic when dealing with bobbypires?

(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:23, Reply)
Not at all
my tactic there is to repeat the same thing over and over, he actually comes out with some pretty amusing insults when he's provoked
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)
Fuck you Bert

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)
shut up, chompy

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:42, Reply)
there there I get it
you've had you're daughter all weekend who idolises you and now she has gone back, you're feeling a bit glum and as you probably weren't raised particularly well you never learnt the difference between 'good attention' and 'bad attention'. Hence the attention seeking posts and desperate attempts to shock. Now do you want a hug or not?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)
Excellent psychobabble there, chompy
but not entirely accurate.

No, ta.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)
Shut up Bert

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)
K

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)
Aha!
So it was you who took my account last time!

I always thought it was Kaol
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)
Nope, I never did
Probably would have done though.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:17, Reply)
nah, think I'll post porn on /board

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:18, Reply)
It is my pleasure to take part

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:13, Reply)
Someone post this on /talk to help hit the target

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:27, Reply)
I don't want to see you go, so I'm not going to add to this thread

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)
I leave you all for 1/2 an hour
and you've still not reached your target, get on with it!
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:34, Reply)
can everyone play?

(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)
Bert says we are sensitive round these parts.
Just thought I'd confirm this.
My parts are, indeed, sensitive.
Thank you.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)
done

(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)
ta.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)
hooray

(Dr. Geoff Honkington woof, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:58, Reply)
Why would anyone care?

(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)
fuck off

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)
Crap. We still need more than 100 more before he goes.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)
this thread is getting rather difficult to read but worse persevering with I think

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)
I don't think you should go.
Ever.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)
No

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)
No.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)
No-nah

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)
no no

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)
THERE'S

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)
NO

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)
LIMIT !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)
I could probably set up a script to do this.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)
TECHNO!

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)
TECHNO!

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)
TECHNO!

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)
TECHNO!

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)
See ya!

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)
Go on then

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:35, Reply)

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