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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Sod off then Bert
We've hit the target. That thread was getting difficult to read so here is a new one

EDIT - forgot a question - what is the thing you dislike most about yourself?
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:39, 245 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Psychochomps guide to make a thread interesting
1: Go to news website at random
2: post link
3: Ask people if they want to bring back hanging

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1297742/Happy-slapping-killers-detained-combined-years--walk-free-months.html
(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)

"Bring back National Service" etc.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)

speaking of news
what does everyone think of the repealing of the 24 hour drinking laws?
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Stupid

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)

why?

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)

because it's made fuck all difference anyway
and repealing it means wasting money that could be better used elsewhere

they should repeal the smoking ban though
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)

hell no!
I love going to the pub and not coming out stinking
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:04, Reply)

I don't smoke (cigarettes) and I still want it to go back to how it was
I never found that my clothes particularly smelt after going to the pub.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)

it always made me feel a bit vomitous
when I got home. Also, people who smoke in restaurants/cafes, etc when I'm eating, they can fuck off. Oh wait, they have to now - yay
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)

that's just rude though
I never did that even when I smoked and you could smoke inside.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)

I love the smoking ban
when I used to work behind the bar my clothes and hair would stink at the end of the night and even my contact lenses would have a fine film on them, it was horrible.

And I agree with cougar, people at the next table lighting up after a meal while you're still eating are just disgusting.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

The smoking ban is awesome
At uni I used to come home from a night out and spray Febreeze on my dreads to get the smoke-stank out.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)

I was just calling you stupid.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)

oh, fair enough
carry on
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)

meh

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)

I don't really know them to be honest, what are they doing?
I want your version of events though, and maybe Compys, rather than a reputable news source. I hate basing my opinion on stuff I see in the news, it's always one sided.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)

they are banning alcohol for 24 hours
and insisting we drink toilet water instead. Not just toilet water but the toilet water of immigrants!
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Oh, I'm not to bothered by that then, to be honest.
You see, I don't use alchole as a crutch, and get tired by 10:30 and want to go home, the conversation is normally pittering out by then anyway and besides, Prime Minster's Question Time starts around then, and I hear some student is going to ask a really hard-cutting question like "What do you think of the _illigal_ war in afganistan that _you_ said we should all do? You know, the one that you said would be.... blah blah".
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Prime Minster's Question's is on a wednesday lunch time.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)

You're thinking of "Question time"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)

I like to think someone out there, a mental patient or something, thinks he's the PM...
... and he's in a loony-hospital with a studio set up like PMQT, because shattering the illusion will break him (ala first epps of house last season).
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)

They're getting rid of the law that says every 24 hours everyone in Somerset has to stop
and down a yard of cider in one go. Anyone breaching the laws is put to death.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Does kropenbourg count? I like the elderflower and pear ones.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:02, Reply)

There's a 24 hour bar in Waterloo
I shall miss fucking with their heads after a night shift and walking in at 5am for a pint and some crisps.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:56, Reply)

It's a good idea
Because as a nation we're fuckwits and can't cope with such freedom
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:58, Reply)

I thought it was a good idea
because the amount of people binge drinking until 6am is ridiculous, but Wiggy pointed out that now everyone will be piling out of the clubs again at 1am and fighting and such like.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Most of them continued to do that anyway

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

I thought that too

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)

yeah
nice we can all now watch an old man being beaten up - it's like happy slapping without the criminal record
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)

I love the bloke in canada who says he's moving.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)

yeah! fuck 300+ reply threads
my brain is small and cannot fit them all in
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)

my pale skin
HAHA not really, whywoulditellyouwhatihateaboutmyselflololstupid
(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)

To make me feel better - I can look down on everyone else then.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:45, Reply)

it's time for a good old-fashoned
emo-self-hate-fest
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:51, Reply)

do not want

(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)

too late!
*wallows in communal self-pity*
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:56, Reply)

eurgh, it's dripping all over my shoe!

(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Physical or personality wise?

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)

I dislike that you're so fat

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)

I like that you dislike that
F34R MY 1337 N3KK1D R0LL5!!
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)

If I meet you
I'm going to play "Guess how much loose change and bits of crisp are stuck in Kitty's rolls", and at the end of the night I'll get some sort of crane to hold you upside down and use a Dyson to HOOVER out your folds.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)

I bet that will tickle

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)

In places long forgotten
By man and God.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)

but not by my fetish fanbase

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:03, Reply)

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Either.
I am short (5'7'') which I dislike and I have a lack of willpower too. Not sure these are related though.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)

OK I dislike my corn beef colour skin tone
and my inability to let things go.

On the upside, I'm quite proud of my physical strength and my friends tell my I'm amusing. Although they could be lying.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)

raw or cooked corn beef?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:03, Reply)

raw.
If it's cold my skin goes all blue and pink and mottled.

Is cooked corn beef brown? I'm not brown, I'm never brown.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:04, Reply)

cooked = brown, lumpy & slightly oily

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)

oh in that case
cooked, definitely cooked
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)

my lack of discipline in getting things done
and instead arsing about here with all the other losers
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Physically, my metabolism
Mentally, that I doubt everything I do, everything I see and hear, and everything I am.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Hardly surprising...

(

thealternativefact, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:49, Reply)

Now I'm doubting what you mean by that
I think, and I may be wrong, that you think I'm lovely. That's what I want to believe, dear Clendrix.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:51, Reply)

You believe it then, my emo chum.

(

thealternativefact, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:56, Reply)

I shall try

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:57, Reply)

You're nice
BE TOLD.
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Except when he's being a twat, of course.
Or fucking emo.
(

thealternativefact, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Oh Clendrix
Have I been a twat to you?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Ok, I've been told!
thanks!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)

I doubt everything you do too
because you're shit
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I'm going to doubt the fuck out of you

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I'm going to ban you from the cupholder
Yeah. I went there
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)

You can try

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)

I'm ill again.
The memory of a weekend with your boobs is cheering me up, though.
(

thealternativefact, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)

STUPID FAMILY ! STUPID FUCKING FAMILY ! STUPID STUPID FUCKING FAMILY STUPID FUCKING.....
.... [ad infinium]
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:56, Reply)

I wish you'd have been there. You could have seen some expert retardery in action.
Did you have fun?
(

thealternativefact, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:58, Reply)

And expert gropery!
We missed you Gonz x
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Totally wish I could come, didn't get back home 'till 8:30/9ish and was shattered by then.
Gaz me whenever you're next down, and I'll make sure I got my Tux cleaned the day before.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:04, Reply)

Who was being retarded?

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:00, Reply)

It'd be the loooooooooooooongest gaz ever...

(

thealternativefact, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Best start now then, ey?
I'd love to know!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:02, Reply)

BCC: GONZ, thank you very much.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:03, Reply)

It was Clendrix

(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:03, Reply)

OH FUCK OFF YOU GIANT MINGE

(

thealternativefact, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:04, Reply)

I'll be honest, it wasn't as horrific as I thought it would be.
I normally feel about 5 inches tall at these things, this time I was at least a foot and a half.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)

My huge appetite
And my idleness.

But I love everything else because I'm well boss.
(Oh, my nose is a bit like an elbow, but hey ho...)
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Oh my God
Paint-mashing opportunity a-gogo.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Your nose is a button
straight from an Enid Blyton book.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:56, Reply)

My parents said something similar, but I assumed they were lying
Cheers like
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:00, Reply)

like Lois from Family Guy?
oh no, hers is like a sandwich. I hate my nose too. And my laughter induced double chin.

This thread is depressing.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:05, Reply)

it's maybe better to do things you do like about yourself
I like my hair. Um, that's about it
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Haha I think Lois has a fit nose!
I don't mind my laughter chin. It's only there when I'm hysterical.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

he's still here. watching. lurking. waiting.

(

SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)

..wanking

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)

sobbing

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:58, Reply)

screaming the lord's prayer

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)

I'm lazy
I hope to apply (and be given, obviously) for a PhD soon. The application process would be a whole bunch easier had I not slacked my way through my A levels and university. Plus of course, I'm signing up for 3 or 4 years of extremely hard graft. Do I want to? Should I try? Meh, a thousand times MEH I tell you.

Physically, I would love to be a bit taller and a bit less wibbly.

EDIT - oh yes, and my memory is shit too.
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:56, Reply)

I dislike my inability to decide whether I’m at the hugging stage with people I meet.
I’ll either not hug them at all and they’ll get all offended, or I’ll hug them and they’ll be all like ‘OMGEE I didn’t realise we were at the hugging stage in this friendship’, then I get all embarrassed and hide in a tree.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:57, Reply)

OMG THIS
I never know if it's appropriate after meeting someone once, or twice. I love hugs, but don't want to put a foot wrong, y'know? And then I end doing the 'going-in-for-a-hug, wait-they're-not-moving, now-they're leaning-the-wrong-way' awkward dance.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)

The worst bit is the side-kiss-cheek moment too
they go in for a kiss, you go in for a hug, you end up nutting them in the face hole!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:02, Reply)

oh I've done that
And some friends do two kisses, continental style.
Plus, are you supposed to actually kiss their cheek, or just air-kiss while your cheeks are touching? Some do it one way, some the other.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:03, Reply)

I know
I've yet to come to a conclusion as to you're supposed to air kiss or actually kiss. I might just start licking peoples faces, that way avoiding the whole mess, no one would come anywhere near me then!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Or, cup them slightly as you kiss/air-kiss

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Hahaha
I like this option.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

wait...
that's not a generally accepted greeting?
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Maybe in Manchester?

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:05, Reply)

I'll bear that in mind
if I'm ever unfortunate enough to have to go there
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Ditto!
:)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

also, I may give you a slight headbutting when/if we meet

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

I look forward to it sir!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

madam
*doffs cap*
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)

oi

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

*nuts*

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Arf!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

or when you are not
quite ready for the hug and end up doing an awkward side hug. And if you do hug, how hard do you hug? Some times I got for OTT manly pat on the back, it's the only way
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:05, Reply)

If I ever meet you I'm totally going to go in for hugging just one of your legs
to make it super extra awkward.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

ARGH!
social etiquette is so confusing
wait...are you some kind of dog, dogs hug legs
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)

I'm a kitty
we hug legs too.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:49, Reply)

just hug me, I won't mind

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:03, Reply)

But... but
then people wold have to TOUCH you. I don't think I could bring myself to do it
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:05, Reply)

did we not hug?
damn, I missed out
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:05, Reply)

We hugged
You totally loved it
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

I bet you did too
I'm great at hugging
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)

and headbutting?!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)

not really done enough to make a judgement as to my level of ability

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Lets just say ‘adequate’ for now then! :)

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)

it is certainly fit for my needs

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Cool, one man-hug it is

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:06, Reply)

this!
I like hugging friends, but you're never sure, even with old friends. Man, it's a minefield
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)

My oldest friend isn't a hugger
and she's really petite so I like to hug her and look down at the top of her head, knowing she hates it.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

One of my male friends HATES hugs
He actually runs away from them. I've also seen him throw a drunken friend who was insisting on a hug.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:11, Reply)

We are at the hugging stage.

(

thealternativefact, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:00, Reply)

I hoped so
To be honest even if we wern't I'd still hug you anyways! ;-)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)

:D

(

thealternativefact, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Yesterday I hugged my friend's mum hello but not goodbye
It was awkward
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)

See that is awkward too!
I think rules should be made or people should have to wear stickers outlining their preference.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:03, Reply)

BADGER IS AVAILABLE FOR HUGS AND GROPING

(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:04, Reply)

Noted!
*scribbles down for next meeting*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:06, Reply)

I think I saw you wearing that on a sandwich board in town

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

And do you kiss them on the left cheek first, on the right cheek first? two kisses or one? When you go in for the hug do you make the kiss sound or just kindda rub cheeks?
Is it creepy to sniff their hair and sigh? What if it's a bloke, (and you're a bloke), is that cool? How firm should your handshake be? If it's a long lingering hug and you get a stiffy, do you point it out or hope they don't notice? .... I wouldn't want to miss a potential, but I wouldn't want the embarassment if I'm wrong about this one. "bye", "Toodles", "love you", "catch you later".... what one do you use? Did they really say "Love you" or did I miss hear it? I'd hate to say "Love you too" and they didn't say that to begin with, I did that once at school to a teacher, lucky Dan was wearing his sister's socks that day so he got dissed more than me.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)

I hear ya gonz

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Sometimes when someone goes in for the kiss, I kindda bowel my head down so they kiss my forehead 'cus the only one who kisses me is my mum.
And that's fine for her, how it should be, but then the rare time someone else does it's like an automatic reaction to do that, and it all goes a bit weird for a little while.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Maybe there should be no more hugs
and only handshakes, although that is a new problem as you have the crushers and the people whose hands just seem to slide through yours. Then as a lady you have the issue of do you crush their hand back which seems to say 'I are mean businesses' or 'I are have testicles' or do you do the wishy-washy handshake which seems to say 'I heart kittums' or 'DON'T BREAK ME I'M FRAGILE'.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)

I fucking hate limp handshakes
I'm not a bone-crusher, but if someone gives me a limp handshake it means you have to do it back, which offends me.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I've been informed
I give good handshakes for a girl, but I'm not really sure what that means or if its a good thing!?!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)

beefy handshake every time
don't let them see weakness. But do stop squeezing if they are all limp handed and feel like their bones are going to crush
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)

I like the idea of going back 200 years, and the bloke gets down on his knee, takes his hand in hers, and kisses her on the [other side of the palm] bit.
Not much veration on that, rules are; No Slobbering; Peck not Kiss; left knee down; gental all the time.

Simple, unless it's raining or wet out.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)

See someone would always take it too far and end up
eating a hand or sticking it down the front of their trousers. Trufacts.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Can't really stick it down the front of his trousers, if he's on one knee and she's standing up, unless she's some sort of primate.
In which case, he's a sicko and it's best to realise this before you make company with them.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)

i misread
your misspelling of 'gentle' as 'genital'
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)

hah

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Exacta!
Its a minefield out there maaaaan!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:19, Reply)

There is no manual for this kind of thing that they hand out somewhere between being a kid and being a socially awquard teenager.
Sad Times.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)

i think some people must get a handbook
they always get these thing right and don't blush when almost strangers hug them.
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)

I should write some software or something that'll help for this.
*adds it to The Idea's Board*
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)

"... lucky Dan was wearing his sister's socks that day so he got dissed more than me."
This man is a genius.
(Cave Duck, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)

"It was dark, my sister was still asleep [he shared a room with her], couldn't turn the light on and I had my paper round"
he explained to us.

I ain't spoken to him for months, I might call him up, his nickname was "morgan" for at least 3 weeks.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)

If you ever dare hug me I'll get a restraining order.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Ha!
What makes you think I'd want to? Hmmmmmm...
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Oh nothing, I was just warning you of possible criminal action.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Fair enough
I haven't seen you for yonks anyways, I miss out on bash information by being aloof!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Well if you and your bloke ever happen to be in MK I will take you to one of the many wonderful chain bars.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:51, Reply)

I was the same at the bash
I thought a quick hug for the girls, handshake for the lads, before I was jumped on by BK for a massive man hug.

It felt good.
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Awww
Massive man hugs are fun!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

This is true

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)

wahey, a lady just asked if I was 18 and I said yeah and she's all "I think you could use one of these" and I'm like huh
and she handed me a card and offered to throw a sex toy party for me wtf
I guess I hate the fact that I look like I could use a sex toy party
(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Phew, I'm glad she said it
We've all been thinking that for ages.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:00, Reply)

hahaha twat
the card says "Enjoy a fun and taseteful presentation with your guests in the privacy of your own home."
Yes, because playing a game where you pass a double dildo around between your knees is considered "tasteful".
(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:02, Reply)

I heard there's one where you have to bite a biscuit into the shape of a penis
now that's tasteful.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)

you know, when it comes down to it, it's all vanilla
I'd like somebody to hand me a business card that says "For any fantasy" and I could have a party where everyone could get real freaky and feel ashamed, dirty and just a bit wrong when they left but secretly knew they loved it.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Go to a fetish club

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)

I don't even know where one is.
Is wearing leather a requirement?
(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)

depends on the fetish

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)

a nylon fetish would be odd
and slightly dangerous with all the static
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)

hahaha
I don't have a fetish I think?
I'm just saying that the shit these people tote around isn't anything secretive or special. Nothing out of the ordinary.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)

perhaps we need a b3ta sex toy bash

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:02, Reply)

I have a feeling BGB would host it

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:05, Reply)

And everything would end up lost inside TGB

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Including the house

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

like an Indian Burial Ground house

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)

No way!

(

girlinthehole, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)

see, she's excited about running it already

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)

"I'll cum to that"
/bert
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

I could use a sex toy party

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:02, Reply)

stubborness
and my huge behemoth like penis is just inconvenient.
(

SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)

The fact I'm rather chubby (i.e. fat fooker)
And the fact I'm too soft on others, I'll let people get away with pretty much anything, means I get burned a lot

Edit: Also, I can't stand it when people don't like me, I have to know why (as one b3tan has found out)
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:04, Reply)

I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a '64 Impala
(Cave Duck, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:07, Reply)

I'm disgusted by the rhyming of Impala with taller, baller and call her

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

He obviously prefers that car to using a trawler to get to work.

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

what an idiot
really enjoying Vast btw. Nice and chilled and interesting.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:11, Reply)

I'm glad you are
I loved the first album, so was a little hesitant when he veered towards acoustic stuff, but soon grew to love the new albums too.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Oddly enough my paternal grandfather was a trawlerman, as were many of the previous generations of that side of the family.

(Cave Duck, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I think we all know it's 'tall-uh' 'ball-uh' 'call-uh'

(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)

yeah, but Impala doesn't rhyme with them either

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I only like the remix of this

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

You scare me.

(

girlinthehole, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:15, Reply)

who sung this?
for srs.

not really.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I hate
being so forgetful. I have to write pretty much everything down. Can lead to annoying situations..
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

I get that. My epilepsy has fucked my short term memory. The flat & my office are littered with "to do" lists as a result

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)

are you covered in tattoos and post its like in Memento?

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Not yet. It's probably only a matter of time though.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Yeah
I'd genuinely say booze has had a fairly negative effect. The worst is when I forget something really important, and it's like "What the fuck, how could you forget THAT?"

And you just have to hold your hands up and say with zero explanation "I Forgot". Must be frustrating for others but I do make a lot of effort trying! I probably sometimes look like a workshy cunt.

Which I am.
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)

If everyone puts him on ignore then its as good as him deleting himself. No more attentiom seeking whiney posts from Bertie!
Just from anyone else having a crap day ,)
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)

What do I dislike about myself? Nothing, I'm freaking awesome. My mum says so!

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)

I agree with this post.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)

I say so too.
And I'm always right.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I agree with both of you. Yes.

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)

And don't you go giving him fights
He bloody loves them. Especially with you.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Can't be arsed today. I have a lovely job, nice new flat and a date with a pretty on sunday.

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)

You liking the new job then?
I'm glad.
And you always have dates with pretties, so what's new?
I'm wondering where in the country he's from ;)
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)

New job is aces, half day on my first day FTW. He might be the guy I told you about. Perhaps ,)

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)

*buys hat*
Don't worry, it's a fishing hat :P
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)

MOATY, IT'S ME GAZZA

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)

HAWAY GAZZA!
Can't I 'ave me fifteen minutes, man!
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:50, Reply)

GET YER TACKLE BOX AND YER POLES AND FOOK OFF GAZZA. ALREEEEET?

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:04, Reply)

REET, YER NOT GETTIN THIS SKOL NOW!!

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Lah lah lah, bert is gone, lah lah lah, bert is gone, lah-lah-laaaah, dah-da-da-daaaah.
Bert now has to fuck off for good, bert now has to fuck off with good, lah-lah-lah-lahhhhhhh.
So long, fair well, whatever will be, will be will bee, bert has fin-aly, fucked off for-ever-reeeee.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I hope so but suspect it won't be long until he's back under a different name. Anyway, enjoy it while it lasts

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Perhaps he's fishing for...
"OH NO Pleeeeeeeease don't go Bert, you're soooo wacki and funny and b3ta neeeeEEEeeeds you!!!"
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)

He looks left, he looks right, he's lined up the ball, he's going for it, He's Going For It ! HUT HUT HUT
Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Ted.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)

My lack of self esteem.
It's crippled me all my life and I can't see it changing unfortunately.
(

girlinthehole, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Same here, and my assertation, that's a bit shit.
I'm starting to passively agressivly stand up for myself these days though. I figure the main trick is to say you'll do something for someone then never awnsering the phone or texts from someone and then in a year's time hopefully they've forgotten.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)

*lack of self esteem highfives*

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)

I think most of us could join in this one
otherwise we wouldn't be here
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Yep.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Pfft!
And here I was thinking I was special : (
(

girlinthehole, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)

nope
we're not even special in our misery. /emos
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)

* hands tissue*

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Well you're all young and have time to change.
It's too late for me.

*assumes 'whoa is me' pose*
(

girlinthehole, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Gonz is so great, gonz is so great. Why is he so great? 'cus gonz is so great.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Ffs why? I've met one of you at least and there's no reason for self esteem issues.
When you can stop yourself from giving a fuck what other people-especially people you're never going to see again-think of you, you feel a damn sight better about yourself
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

that's true
not giving a fuck helps a lot
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:42, Reply)

but only sometimes

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

used to
I forced me to think more of myself. Think I might have gone slightly too far the other way....
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)

I'm similar
I was meant to be going out on Saturday night in some new shoes, new jeans, and a nice black shirt. When I was getting ready, I looked at myself in the mirror, and realised for the first time in months, I thought I looked alright.

Then my friend didn't show up, so the only other person who saw how 'good' I looked was the lady at the chinese.
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)

That sucks.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

I'm trying to be 'meh' about it
But I know for a fact if I did the same to her, she'd fucking murder me.
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I looked in the mirror and thought I looked shit and old
then the woman in Dunelm asked if I was over 25 or not when I bought scissors
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

I'd been a bit of a fat fucker for quite some time, and it's only really quite recently that I'm happy with how I look
the beard has helped definitely. I recommend growing one
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)

*grows beard*

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Holy Shit!
Roota with a beard
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Please remove this
I don't want to be recognised IRL
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Thanks mate
You know how it is being famous and that.
Farmfoods would be well annoyed with me.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

No worries

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)

I can't
Am unable to get past ridiculous bumfluff
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

it may come
I couldn't grow one till after I finished uni
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:42, Reply)

I'm old enough to have finished Uni
*sadface*
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)

still might happen for you

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Not sure it'd suit me anyway
If you have a look on my FB, you'll see multiple pictures of me with stupid bumfluff, and that's as far as it grows.
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Even when I lost loads of weight years ago I still had to get rat-arsed to approach men.

(

girlinthehole, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)

that would be the acid test of my confidence, but I've been with the mrs for 6 years, and my ex for 2 and a half before that
so it hasn't arisen. 6 years ago I would've been out of luck still I think.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

_{I would still have loved you}
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I'm not sure that would help me
but I could get a job in a circus
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)

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