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(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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I've just had to deal with a woman
whose name is genuinely Rohini Contractor. Have you ever had to deal with someone whose name sounds like a type of snake?
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:25, 124 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*Sigh*
I just don't know, Monty Boyce, I just don't not at all. It used to be all so clear, my life was mapped out ahead of me, and now this happens and it brings everything into question.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:26, Reply)

I work with someone called Monty Python

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Does he have a silly walk?

(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

No he doesn't exist, I made him up.
I'm sorry everyone.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Oh, I didn't guess that
I was wondering if his girlfriend might have been called Anna Conda.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

One of my customers is called
Charlie Farley
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)

*blows raspberry*

(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

What!
It's a trufact!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I knew a bloke called
Terry Christmas.

Which is of course not a snake, but I think it's a humorous name.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

A lass at work has the surname 'Blades'
She looked unimpressed when I said that it was awesome and I was going to steal it.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Labia Blades?
Sounds painful
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

It's Chompy's worst fear
When he's out a-rapin'
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Did you see in the news yesterday
some couple had called their kid Cole Sellar.

Coal cellar! FFS.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

My monthly mention of Evangelos Mangos is due

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

My dad knew a bloke called Percy Vere.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

A doctor at work is called Manmeet.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

MANMEET dammit. That's hilarious.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

It fucking is.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

My sister knew a girl called Lyn Orr
Her clothes were always very soft.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

my favourite one ever as it reminds me of bottom
is Dick Richards. My friends boss.
(

SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I know of someone called Willie Dick
I'm on a roll here.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

possibly the best name ever

(

SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Or the customer with the surname 'Seenapongipit'
TRUE
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

My uncle used to tell me all about his first girlfriend, Teresa Green.
I always thought he was winding me up, until I met Teresa at a family party. She had got married and, brilliantly, kept her maiden name - I assume for the LULZ at such occasions.

Rumours of his second girlfriend, Ophelia Balls, remain unfounded.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I often make myself laugh just by saying 'Ophelia Nutts'

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I know a Teresa Green, but it was a married name,
and people called her tish.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I knew a Theresa Green too.

(

girlinthehole, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I genuinely used to work in a college with a Mike Hunt
Not Michael, Mike.
(

Peej, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:38, Reply)

There was a guy at my school called Wayne King.

(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

And there's a local guy here called Wayne Kerr

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I win

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

What about Luxporn Boonprasopthanachot?

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

No thanks, I'm not hungry.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

She really exists

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Sounds like a Thai name

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

She's from Bangkok
Her sister's called Luxbaworn
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Score 1 point for Labs
A lot of Thais go by their childhood nicknames, even if they're not flattering. It'd be like saying "Hi, I'm Little Pig" or "Pleased to meet you, I'm Crabface."
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Haha, I would have been 'Martian' or 'Foal'

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Oh dear
"Stick", "Minx" or "Number Three" over here.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I now wish your name was Minnie
Fuck it, I'm going to call you Minnie from now on.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Haha minx!

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I would have been 'Raiden'
Or 'Mistake'.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

raiden?

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

From Mortal Kombat
It rhymes with my real name.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

You were really really cool as a kid, weren't you?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I have a cousin whose name rhymes with Raiden
He was such a cunt of a kid.
Little ginger crying cunt who was always stealing from me and battering me then crying his eyes out whenever I got the courage to retaliate.
He's a lovely fella now.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Well, you know my real name, is it that?
Only I'm not ginger, and arguably not a cunt.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

yeah it's that

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Spelt the same?
I met a guy who's got the same name, but spells it with an 'e' at the end, not an 'a'. Totally different, and clearly inferior spelling to the proper name. There's a Saint with my name too.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Oh yes, he has the 'e' too.

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Clearly inferior
It's probably what made him a ginger cunt.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Not at all
I just don't want to put some of the insulting nicknames in case you guys taunt me with them, and re-open old wounds.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Awwwww
go on.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Well, highly original
But my name also rhymes with 'Gaydon'.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Labs real name is
Fairmaiden
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Hhhahahaha

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Gollum.
Sad times.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

You've accepted it though
Probably had no choice in it, I admit.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:19, Reply)

If people were feeling kind they'd call me Smeagol instead.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

And the American guy Randy Bumgardner. I shit you not!

(

SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Mrs Addison - more offspring of snake, really.
Also there's a biography of Ian Dury written by Richard Balls. I don't think his parents thought that one through.
(Cave Duck, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

When I worked in Life Assurance I would add funny names to my funny name list
Probably unethical and possibly illegal, but it helped numb what was a very dull job.

Some people had obviously changed their name by deed poll, like a man called "Monkeywrench Loading-Bay", but some you couldnt tell, like a joint policy for a man and wife whose christian names were "Lancelot" and "Princess".

There were so many "Ronal McDonalds" it stopped being funny.
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

www.whoateallthepies.tv/kuntz.jpg
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Oh, I forgot.
I know a Euan Kerr.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

One of my American colleagues
Randy Teat
(

M o D, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

In my primary school class
We had Bankey, Janki, Waheeda and Aseeda. They didn't get bullied or anything.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Just when I needed him most, I remembered

(Cave Duck, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Good morning Monty!
I don't know anyone with a funny name, so I'm just going to say instead that I am very happy today because
I'M FREEEEEEEEE! I'M FUCKING FREEEEEE!!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

We all thought you charged
/bringing back the playground insults
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I usually do,
But I'm in such a good mood today I might put an offer on.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Bogof

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Free of what? You've been out of uni for ages.
Oh, silly me, are you having one of your weekend sales to get some new Johns?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Parents and sibling just left for a week.
Free house darling! And a fully functional pole in my dining room. It's like almost all my dreams have come true at once.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Surprised you called me darling
After I insinuated you were a working girl, but cheers!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Anytime. :D

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I like you
You can stay.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Have her scrubbed and sent to my tent

(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Every women wants a "fully functional pole" these days.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Anything but full working order just doesn't cut it anymore I'm afraid Gonz.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I have the same on Monday
For two weeks. Except the pole in the dining room, I am distinctly lacking in a pole in the dining room. I can't even think of what I'm going to do with such freedom except smoke in the house. I've become boring.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Greetings.
You're like a sweary John Inman.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Only not quite as camp I hope.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Not quite.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

There's a BBC presenter (gardening, I think) called Gay Search
but I'm not typing that into Google at work to find a picture.
(Cave Duck, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Yes there is, I'm at home so I went ahead and searched it.
www.nucan.co.uk/search.jpg
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

If you're not busy, then you could check to see if there's a Dutch politician called Tiny Kox
But whatever else you do, make sure you don't have some terrible accident today which might lead to the police having to investigate and possibly feel the need to check your computer.
(Cave Duck, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiny_Kox
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I've sent post to Dong Mingazhu before
As well as Sarah Pitchfork, which I actually think is the best surname ever
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Porntip Stallion

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I am, yes.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

We have a customer called
Hamish Macsporran
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Please no, you lie?

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

ahem
www.macsporran.co.uk/
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Oh you git

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

That
is one of our customers
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

who, Mr O.U. Gitt?

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:14, Reply)

si!

(Halfy By light alone, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I used to have a lecturer at Uni called
Randy Fleisch, which he insisted on pronouncing as an 'e' rather than an 'i' sound.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

A mate at uni changed his name to Rory Borealis
and has kept it to this day.
(

Peej, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Those crazy students.
What will they get up to next?
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Probably something either Wacky or Zany
They just can't help themselves.
(

Peej, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Was he the wackiest wackster in wacky town?

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:15, Reply)

~~wack~~ twat x3
(

Peej, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

No
But I have had dealings with a lady called Whadia Banjo! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:30, Reply)

alright treacle,

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:30, Reply)

I am reading that in a cockney accent
I hope that is accurate!

How are you sir?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I'm alright thanks, good weekend coming up at least.
How are you?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Oooh what are you doing?
I'm good ta, knackered this week but good good good! :)

I saw Dylan Moran in a tiny theatre on Wednesday night and he was groovy-cool!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Going to a hot tub house party tomorrow and having a bbq on sunday,
if the weather is nice.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:48, Reply)

A hot tub house party?
That sounds like a recipe for disaster!

BBQ, BYOB, HT, BCG, LOR!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Flimpett!

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Ello darhlin!
Awwwwwight?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I'm on a fed-up today, but it'll pass I'm sure
how you been?
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Ah i see from above you've been having a swingin' time!

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:36, Reply)

The swingin'est!?!
*swings*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Awww really? Why's that lovely?
Don't be fed-up, have a bagel or a Tunnocks or summit! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Tonight I'm going to have fun making pretend curry and pretend naan bread

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Ooooh pretend you say?
Will you be sitting in your garden with a tiny plastic teapot and a big floppy hat while you enjoy you pretend dinner?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I'm going to make a bready figure from Smash mash.

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:43, Reply)

WOW!
You should be on Masterchef! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:46, Reply)

i've already made 'pizza' and 'garlic' 'bread' in a similar fashion

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Hehehehe
I need you to make me dinner one time! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:53, Reply)

On a table made of dried noodles

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:56, Reply)

At my company
there's a Sandie Beaver. But apparently (according to cracked.com), there's an American military type called, including rank, Sergeant Major Max Fightmaster.
(

Kroney, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:48, Reply)

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