New thread
Enough of fatties talking about being fat.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-10890098

If this was a suicide bomber it is possibly the worst act of terror ever and I find it very funny.

What are you shit at?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 15:52, 107 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

losing weight


just to set the tone for the thread. Just for you Pyschochomp
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 15:53, Reply)

why would they take responsibility for a failed terrorist attack
these people are stupid
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 15:56, Reply)

this
they're basically saying 'yeah, we're out to get you, but don't worry because we're shit at it'.
(berk, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 15:58, Reply)

BUT NEXT TIME WE'LL BE BETTER

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I think it really says something when the crew thinks it's been involved in a collision

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Or a "big wave"
hahahaha, I love stuff like this.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:07, Reply)

If they claim for pretty much everything that could be an attack, then they can bring attention to their cause.
Even a failed attempt is an attempt that should be taken very seriously, costing a lot of money for the athorties as every avenue needs to be explored.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:11, Reply)

starting new threads
OH NO WAIT THAT'S YOU.

Anyway...back to work.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 15:59, Reply)

haha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I enjoyed your Wall status.
Just saying.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:01, Reply)

hello Kitty O'Hara
photos of you are hard to come by
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:02, Reply)

by over

sorry Kitty. I want you badly, really I do.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:03, Reply)

that was what I was implying, silly

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:03, Reply)

cooking roasts
which is a touch because i cant stand the fucking things
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Roasts are EASY
it's all about the timing and the preperation.
It's a lot better if you're drinking throughout in my experience.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:11, Reply)

True.
Even easier if you make a flow-chart and pin it to the fridge.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:14, Reply)

the most important thing is having two ovens

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:25, Reply)

You could cook a roast FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!
and then invite us round for it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:15, Reply)

^ this
make it roast lamb or beef please
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:17, Reply)

Doing anything with my day
I've been lying out in the garden listening to Sprawl II (which is incredible) and Bad Boys (which is incredibly bad).
I cleaned the hob last night, at least that was something.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:04, Reply)

staying away from mentals and not biting.
Who was talking about the expendables the other day? Empire give it three stars.....
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:04, Reply)

empire can fuck off

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:08, Reply)

They say
it's not quite the film it could be. Still three stars from Empire is pretty good. Cannot wait to see it!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Empire Records was quite good

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:11, Reply)

MY NAME'S NOT FUCKEN WARREN

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:12, Reply)

I think it should be Mark
spelt with a c
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:14, Reply)

yeah ace film
I long for a drum kit in my office.

If I had an office.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:13, Reply)

you're shit at not biting?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:12, Reply)

shut up, Meg

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:15, Reply)

How long have you got?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:15, Reply)

44 minutes
or you could gaz me but don't expect a reply until tomorrow at the earliest.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:16, Reply)

44 minutes
make it quick
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:17, Reply)

commitment, not taking my clothes off,
Keeping my own secrets, video games, football, team work, writing to time, not procrastinating, singing, not talking, having a long attention span, being nice...to name a few.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:22, Reply)

You appeared to be good at drinking with strangers when I met you.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Oh, I'm brilliant at that.
I used the entire weekend to prove my skill in that area.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:26, Reply)

stop putting yourself down
I know of at least one thing you're good at, and that's looking a bit like the girl I lost my virginity to some 11 years ago

see?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:26, Reply)

I don't look anything like her.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:27, Reply)

short, mousey blonde hair
slender figure, when I saw your profile pic I was like 'OMG she reminds me of xxxxx'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Maybe its just that picture then.
And I don't usually look much like the one on my profile. Unless you mean my fb, in which case, don't bother trying to add me.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:31, Reply)

haha!
No, I've never seen you on FB, and I don't add B3tans.

The girl in the picture has changed a bit in the last decade, back then she was much more like you, in that she was 19, and your B3ta profile photo shows your pants/arse, which reminded me off the lap dance she gave me in front of her boyfriend at the time
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Ah, now she sounds more like me.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:35, Reply)

You added me, you cunt.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Aug 2010, 18:00, Reply)

That girl is wearing clothes and therefore looks nothing like AfD

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:27, Reply)

This.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:29, Reply)

I'm shit at guitar
but it hasn't stopped me yet.
( Peej, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:15, Reply)

I still want to fuck your, now pregnant, wife
and/or daughter, as well as your unborn child
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Join the queue
we can fit you in at around 2030 (year not time)
( Peej, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:24, Reply)

I doubt your daughter
could fit all of me 'in'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Nahh
This one is worse, surely?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:19, Reply)

I want to know what the chap was doing
that resulted in an injury to his hand
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Ahahaha, oh dear
I'm not at all well today, and that made me laugh so hard I was genuinely nearly sick. AA, you're a bad boy.
(berk, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:24, Reply)

I do my best

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:29, Reply)

That is fantastic.
He hid explosives up his own arsehole, but when he detonated himself, his own body protected the intended target from the blast.

Absolute class.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Brings a whole new meaning
to 'explosive diarrhoea', that's for sure.
(berk, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:28, Reply)

I'm shit at reading signs
I can never tell when a girl's attracted to me, or just being nice. This works both ways, when i was single I was never sure if a hot girl was attracted to me, so didn't make any moves, but also I wasn't sure if the munters were just being nice, therefore me politely declining their advances would prove unnecessary embarrassment.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:28, Reply)

^ this, many times
A bloke pretty much has to put his cock in my hand before I'll realise I'm being hit on. That actually happened once. I was completely oblivious up until then...
(berk, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Oddly, the most forward someone has been to me
Was when a guy said "Look, I know you're not gay, and I'm enjoying having this chat, but are you at least curious? Because I'd like to suck your dick."
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Did you let him?

(berk, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:44, Reply)

No
But it was a massive ego boost.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Feigning interest in other people's lives or possessions, and small talk.
Thinking further than (say) a month or two into the future. Which ws why teachers and careers advisors didn't like me much.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:52, Reply)