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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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For Labia
New thread.

Q: What do you feel like complaining today? My train broke down on the way to work and I lost a whole hour of my very busy life.

AltQ: Why are you happy today? Remember that problem at work that was going to be solved with the help of an expert? I solved it yesterday, all by myself. I'm feeling proud and happy.

EDIT: And oh, yes, I'm on holidays from tomorrow!!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:17, 224 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Normal work shit
Q. 10 things to do which have been pushed back by another 10 things to do

Alt Q. A good night's kip!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)
I'm complaining
That I have a fair bit of work to do. I need to clear my workload before end of Friday, as I'm off on holiday then.
It's not entirely my fault that I've got a lot to do, some stuff got dumped in my lap Monday, but I have been a little on the lazy side recently...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)
Hmmm
You appear to be me! I too am off next week
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)
Where are you going?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)
To the wonders of Berwick*


*may not contain wonders
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)
I don't even know where that is.

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:31, Reply)
It's nearly Scotland.
I like it there.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)
Not as good as actual Scotland though

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)
Not as good, better
As its not in Scotland
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)
I like Scotland

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)
I fucking love Scotland.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)
not least because of the high quality of their black pudding

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)
It's all about packing lots of blood in there

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:54, Reply)
not to mention the 'munchy box'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:54, Reply)
I've never actually had one
Which makes me happy and sad in equal measures.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)
I like this

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)
So do I!
Had a cracking time every time I've been there. I was just trying (and failing) to be funny
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)
Exceedingly near Scotland
but not quite. Davros Grandad/Tourettes (.)(.) type territory!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)
In that case...
What are you doing here, man? Go to work, go, go, go!

(Not that I don't enjoy your company, but it's good for you)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)
I'd like to complain about everything....
Bitching and moaning and giving stern looks
Ranting and raving and throwing of books
Starting mean gossip about office flings
These are a few of my favourite things
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)
You should have gone for the full rather than abbreviated 'about'
Makes the whole thing fit better.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)
I'VE CHANGED IT ARE YOU HAPPY NOW

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)
Not particularly
But this has brought me that little bit closer.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)
I clicked I like this
Although I don't like the fact that you feel like complaining.

Nothing happy has happened to you recently?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)
No

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)
Not sure if like
-_-
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)
WELL YOU CAN FOOK ORF THEN

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT
Now I can imagine you stamping around an mini-city made of cardboard boxes screaming like Godzilla. :D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)
That would probably cheer me up
If only I could get my hands on a vast amount of cardboard boxes....
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)
Really shit remakes of songs from musicals
Alex the Fake Geordie's gay red bi-cycle
Songs of D Bowie, and
Jonathan King:
These are a few of life's terrible things.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)
Quick complaint:
For some reason, despite two weeks' blissfully restful holiday, I still have no motivation to work after coming back. Nothing changes.

But on the plus side: I managed to fix my bass amp the other day. I thought I'd have to pay some engineer £30 or more to tinker around with the electronics, until I popped the back off and realised the only problem was a wire had come loose from the power switch.

Plus I think I've found a buyer for the old bass I hardly ever play, which should free up the space and the money for me to buy one of these beauties.

(At least, it's a toss-up between that and one which might make Vipros jealous)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)
Vipros would be jealous of a guitar made with a croissant shaped body
I attempted to "paintashop" one but was distracted by...

Vip's cousin?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)
We could start a 'have you spotted Vipros' gallery
and take voyeuristic snaps of people enjoying croissants.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)
I would find that very amusing

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)
I have a friend called pete stillwell who has a face that looks like lots of different celebrities
so we have a facebook page called visions of stillwell for him. We could do one for you with croissants.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)
Really?
I wouldn't.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)
We could do one for you
visions of Monty - take snaps of people who look like this.

i.ytimg.com/vi/QACSo5xk3dE/0.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)
that's because you are a little bag of gloom

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)
BIG bag, please.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)
when I read your name now
I have visions of the uncle in Withnail and I
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:03, Reply)
I always imagine Withnail saying
"Monty, you terrible cunt!"
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)
haha!
Since recently I've become Withnail I can take on that role.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:29, Reply)
NEEDS MOAR BEARD
I suspect this feller merely aspires to be Vipros - see how he looks pleased with his massive croissant, yet insecure. He dreams of having a full, bushy beard in which he can catch massive crumbs from massive croissants, and of having a balcony on which he can sit to perform this feat.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)
This reminds me of Vipros
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wos2jhKhiCQ&feature=channel

You have to sit through the annoyingness to see what I mean though.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)
hard decision
I'd go with the latter though.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)
I was initially very tempted by the T-bird
(Not least of all because you'd been lusting after a Firebird for so long)
But then I tried one, and I had to admit I wasn't all that taken with it. Nice neck, nice big sound on the neck pickup, but I found the bridge pickup far too twangy and the access to the upper frets was awkward due to the body shape. By comparison the EB3/SG bass offered a better blend between the pickups and a more navigable neck. I will still insist on trying them side-by-side again before buying though!
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:43, Reply)
that's interesting
I'd like to play a firebird again just to remind myself how nice it was.

from what you say I'd probably go with the Epi though.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)
No it's not

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)
Unfortunately it's intrinsic to wiring of the male brain
If we weren't guitarists, we'd probably have ended up discussing the technical specs of some car, motorbike or hi-fi. Or electric croissant.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)
You are Nikki Sixx and I claim my free Heroin Diaries.

(Cave Duck, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)
I'll pretend I didn't read that.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)
I still haven't got that chair from the charity shop
they have until 11:30, then I'm just going swimming

I'm happy because I've actually got some work done.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)
that sounded like you were going to threaten them with something
did you mean to write 'then they're going swimming', like the mob would say?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:00, Reply)
those charity shop people
will be swimming with the crabs

Any boys on here with crabs who want to screw old ladies in charity shops?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)
Fasthosts are a bunch of cunts.
One of our websites has been down for a couple of months. Not a big deal it is a secondary site & not that important.

However I have been trying to get it sorted with Fasthosts who host the site on a shared server & they have lost the code. I am now having to get hold of the bloke who wrote it & he's working abroad for 6 months (I don't know where).

I want to get this site back up but they are being so unhelpful - they claim they can't even call me back & that they will have to respond by email.

I want to stamp on their Managing Director's testes. Repeatedly whilst raping him with rusty razor wire.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)
I'm £1.43 short of my last £10, not happy about that at all
And I'm very tired after last night.

Alt Q: It's payday tomorrow, woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:31, Reply)
Its pissing down with rain
So I sensibly wore lots of luminous safety gear and put extra flashing lights on my bike and person for the 11 mile commute this morning. It didn't stop a girl racer in a Ford Ka from plowing in the the hedge just inches from my back wheel when she decided to drive like a tit, realise she was about to kill me and slam her brakes on whilst speeding on a wet road. Thankfully her car was dented on the front wing and all along the side. I watched her get out, asked if she was injured and when she said "no" rode off. Perhaps I should put this in narrow escapes but its just pissed me off.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)
Oh
It's made me very upset. I hate cunt drivers. You should have taken her license number and tell her you were going to take her to court (even if you weren't going to) That'd make her think twice next time.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)
Dented front wong?
That's a write off in a shitty car like a KA
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)
hehe, front wong

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:43, Reply)
ha!
I like that far too much to change it.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)
:-D

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:46, Reply)
yeah but can you get entertainment from the phrase
"ploughing into the hedge"? Perhaps change hedge for bush?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:55, Reply)
That's great, I'm really pleased for you.
I'm quite happy today, I got another corset order in this morning and I'm currently working on a steel boned one for my friend. This will be the first one I've made for someone else without doing a fitting, so I'm using it to test out how feasible it will be for me to make them for strangers just from measurements.

I've also sorted out a photographer for my cupcake website :D
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)
sounds like things are going well
I'm proud
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)
one day this will all be ours
*gestures to Pridelands*
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)
Steel? How industrial
Also, are you dreaming of leaving your job to do two other jobs?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)
oh hell yes
I'm going to have an empire, just wait.

Dragon's Den is my thing. I'm going to be on Dragon's Den. I don't mean submitting an idea, I mean sitting in the chair and crushing people's dreams. And investing in stupid ones. I think if I decided to invest in someone I wouldn't be able to resist throwing the money into the air above them and then grabbing their hands so we could dance around together.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:03, Reply)
This might make me watch Dragon's Den again
I'd like to have an empire at some point, but seeing as I'm STILL WAITING for someone to get in touch about an interview, the dream is starting to dwindle slightly.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)
I'm all excited about my impending millionairess status
It's just a matter of time.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:18, Reply)
Have you made any cupcake inspired corsets or other way round?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)
My cupcake shop is going to be called Corsets & Cupcakes
and we're going to wear corsets if we get a shop. The logo is a cupcake with corset lacing on it :D

I've found some cupcake fabric as well so I'll be making one of them when I get paid again.

I'm all about the cross-marketing shiznit or whatever.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)
you would have a market amongst larp girls

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)
that's true
I was going to look into making medieval style ones, although I cannot work with velvet, it fucking moves!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:10, Reply)
I once tried to make one from velvety stuff
but it was stretchy. Also I hate velvet :(
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)
Oh good, it's evil stuff.
If you want one, let me know, I'm doing them really cheap at the moment because I'm practicing on getting the fittings right.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)
do you have pictures of one's you've done
I don't really have a corsety character right now, but I could always find an opportunity to wear one
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)
Oh, that's great
I'm looking forward to trying those cupcakes. I'd love a corset too, but I wouldn't know when to wear it. I'm very happy for you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)
I intend to make enough to wear every day
I want to make a plan black underbust one to wear over a shirt, I get annoying backache during the day because I'm sitting in front of a PC, it goes away when I wear a corset.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)
Cupcake website?!
Ooh, are you officially branching out now? Good luck, and well done :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)
Thanks!
Yup, we're going to get a website and hopefully start taking orders for birthday parties and stuff so that we can put more figures and estimates into our business plan to get a bank loan to get a premises. That's the bit I can't wait for, I want to make it all pin-up girl and fifties themed, mostly so I can dress up during the day.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:07, Reply)
Oh that'll be fantastic!
Best of luck, honey. I'll be incredible. Have you thought of a name?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:10, Reply)
Corsets & Cupcakes
I'm going to try and jump on the burlesque bandwagon
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)
In fact
Do you think your cupcake website will be up un running by the end of September? I'll probably be leaving Runcorn and it's costume to bring cakes the last day you're in a client's site. We could do with some of yours.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)
costume?
think you may mean customary
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:46, Reply)
Yes, probably
I don't know, but I'll trust you on this.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)
don't trust him
he has a beard.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:09, Reply)
I'd be happy to make some for you,
What flavours would you like?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:08, Reply)
I don't know yet
And I don't know how many I'll need. When do you need to know? And which flavours do you have?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:26, Reply)
I'm going to a cupcake party on the 17th,
oh and my friend you have a girl crush on has pictures of herself dressed as princess leia
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:57, Reply)
a cupcake party?
this sounds like a good thing. Unless it's a euphemism
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)
My mate sarah is going to make shit loads of cupcakes
and I'm going to eat maybe one then get drunk.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)
eat 10
then get drunk. The sugar rush should help
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)
I'm not really that into cakes

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)
that hurt, Chompy,
that hurt.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:09, Reply)
Oh I am so facestalking her.
And I can get away with it because I'm a girl. Ha!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:09, Reply)
I'm complaining about
Natwest sending my new card to my old house twice in as many weeks. It's not terribly inconvenient however I have also lost my credit card so online shopping has gone.

I'm happy about seeing an old friend later and Arsenal actually signing some defensive players.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)
You're not still trotting out this blatant lie
as a back-story behind your being so tight you that haven't donated to B3ta, are you?

Give it up, old boy - no-one's buying it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)
I wish it was a lie
I really want to download some stuff from Itunes but cant and want to have cool little face next to my name. Plus I've seen a beautiful new drum stool that I must have as my fat arse broke the last one.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)
I made another donation a few weeks ago, but haven't been given the choice of a new icon. Meh.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)
They don't bring new ones out very often

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)
Santander has cancelled my credit card
and I don't know why. I need to talk with them, but I hate those telephone calls.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)
I've taken PC's advice and written a strongly worded complaint email
to Natwest and also Sweetleaf grinder company and Vodafone. I am expecting vouchers galore!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)
I hope you get them
I wrote a complaint email to Arriva Trains Wales. I hope they give me something too.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)
What was wrong with your grinder?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)
more importantly than that
I opened up my tin with an untouched eighth in it last night to find that it may have gone a bit mouldy.

This upsets me. What would you do?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Mouldy? I have never seen that in my life. I have had weed thats far too dehydrated before but mouldy. I would say pick off the nastiness and give it a try. I can post you some brilliant stuff if you're desperate?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)
it was a bit damp when I got it, but thought sticking it in the tin on its own would be fine
it may not actually be mould I guess.

I don't know what the situation is round here at the moment, as I thought I had a fresh 1/8 waiting for me. I really don't want to have to throw a load of it away, but on the other hand I don't want to fuck my lungs up by smoking potential mould.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:55, Reply)
Post me some stuff I'm poor

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Gaz me your address I'll send you a a little soupcon.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)
Ha, thanks for the offer
but I'm living with my parents at the moment, not a great idea.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Get high with your olds!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)
For the last time, Ed
nobody want pictures of your "little soupcon"
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:03, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Do you need any medical advice?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)
Smoke it anyway - the THC is probably intact.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:56, Reply)
I had a cheeky number last night and it definitely worked
I'm more concerned with lung infections. I think I might get another 1/8 and mix the two, thus diluting the mould.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I am now intrigued by mouldy weed I am going to google it now. My mate was talking about crumbling a dried magic mushroom into a doob. I am annoyed I hadn't thought of that.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:00, Reply)
I don't think the active ingredients in shrooms work if you smoke them
I may be wrong

if you find anything useful about mouldy weed then gaz me. Can't search for it at work.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)
You know what you shouldn't do
dip spliffs in poppers wait till it dries then smoke it.

DO NOT RECOMMEND WOULD NOT TRY AGAIN
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:03, Reply)
Ugh you fucking barbarian.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)
It's amazing what seems like a good idea
at 430am after drinking a bottle of whisky smoking an epic amount of weed and eating an entire box of frosties.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)

have done this and just with cigs too. it's mental.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)
I've known people try mushroom bongs
Waste of fucking time. They claimed they worked but let's face it, it you're considering such a venture, chances are you've already eaten some, and therefore given enough suggestion a bong of arse-pubes would probably get you high.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:03, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

gazzing you now. I would bin that nasty shit dude!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:10, Reply)
damnit
I'm so skint, I really don't want to be throwing away a whole 1/8 :-(
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

read the gaz you should be ok. As long as your immune system isn't waek.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)
it's not generally weak
but I was ill a couple of weeks back and have got a cold, so I think I'd be best to chuck it.

As long as I can get some more easily enough.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)
don't risk it

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:18, Reply)
I don't think I will
it's come at a really shit time though. I'm skint, and there is a bank holiday coming up.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)
perhaps you could emulate the golden old days
and just drink instead?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)
small quantities don't help me sleep though
and I don't want to get hammered if I have to work the next day
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)
so get hammered on the Sunday
and sleep late on the Monday. You might wake up with no hangover.

Or if you don't want to drink much, don't sleep and just have a film marathon instead
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)
The thread for the middle chamber just gave up in less than 24 hours.
Now I smoke a lot but that is ridiculous.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:54, Reply)
I'm neither happy nor feeling like I want to complain
I'm worried that we won't get a decent spot for our veritable tent village, but Oxfield's pretty large.

I guess I could complain about my awful friends. I feel like Monty. My friends are running a sweepstake on when I'll fuck my ex. As you all know I'm a paragon of chastity and NEVER make stupid decisions, my slot is "Never."

I'm happy as my cat loves me.

EDIT: Blah blah blah dull.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)
Hahaha
Well, is your ex awful or are you still friends?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)
He's awful, but I'm friends with his lot.
I don't mind him, but he has something big against me. For some reason.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)
Did you punch him in the face?
sorry I can't help myself today
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:43, Reply)
Strangely, he's one of my only boyfriends I've not inflicted with physical harm
Seeing as I (accidently) shot one in the leg and slapped another.

He's probably the most worthy of harm out of them.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)
If he's awful
and you remember that, then you should win the bet.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)
Oh of course, I'm planning on winning this bet.
I've got to start making myself feel good in some way.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:50, Reply)
if you feel you could benefit from my life coaching service
then feel free to ask
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)
Man the fuck up, stop complaining,
no matter how shit things are you won't be as bad as your flatmates.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:52, Reply)
well, there is that element of it
but there's so much more besides.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)
Be smug?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:54, Reply)
that comes as a product of succesfully completeing the course

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:56, Reply)
I think I'll continue Councelling by Surly Turk
and 3am smokes in the garden.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:57, Reply)
well, my door is always open

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:00, Reply)

door rectum
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)
I knew that was coming
I just didn't know whether it'd be anus, rectum, sphincter...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)
^ gayest ever post on B3ta

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)
I will bear that in mind :)
Thank you.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)
Move over Monty
Your crown for most boring post needs to be passed on
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)
I never claim to be interesting :(

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)
What this needs
is to be phrased like a well-known and utterly shit song from a shit musical film (ideally starring Julie Andrews) - then it'd be brilliant.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:49, Reply)
I no rite!!!!!1111!!one!
Also needs moar cat
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:50, Reply)
If you look carefully, there's references to felines in my boring post :)

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)
Hang on a second...
cat moaning CHECK
crazy ex CHECK

You just need MASSIVE DRUGS and you could be Monty
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:56, Reply)
"I feel like Monty"
My sister has been telling my mum I'm on Massive Drugs. It's quite amusing actually, she almost believes it.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:58, Reply)
That's charming of them

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)
I don't complain about my friends, do I?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)
only because you don't have any

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)
I have some made-up ones.
They're really cool guys actually, so IN YOUR FACE.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:57, Reply)
I imagine you stealing mannequins
and dressing them up, sat round a table.. maybe smoking MASSIVE DRUGS
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)
'Anyone else want any of this? No? OK then'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)
ha. I like this

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)
I'm disappointed
that no-one seems to have noticed "my slot is never". SLOT.

Sew it shut, that'll do the trick.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:20, Reply)
Well if you're going to do it anyway,
then conspire with one particular friend, get them to enter into the sweepstakes and then split the winnings.

However, I do strongly advise not sleeping with him, the FIFA playing wanksock.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)
I hate it here
I'm being really lame and wishing my life away, when normally I'm a trooper.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:44, Reply)
Normally you're farting like a trooper, you mean.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)
I prefer the term 'parping like an accordion'

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:56, Reply)
But accordions don't parp.
Parping like a cracked tuba?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:58, Reply)
They DO parp
"parp, parp, paaaarp, parp parp parp, parp, paaaaarp"
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)
especially when they eat beans and pop

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)
Exactly

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)
what's wrong scouse?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:55, Reply)
Just being emo
Hate my job, no motivation, trying to maintain a veneer of enthusiasm so that I get a good reference when I try to escape next year, I wish I was still schlepping about with the bf.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:00, Reply)
Well I hate my job and I don't have a BF
so I am the most pathetic loser. In your face and shuttit

Well until Wooks gets here...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)
I keep reminding myself of the positives
Like: I don't have leukaemia and I have a boyfriend.
I just seem to have got off my bus at the Doldrums stop this morning.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:03, Reply)
I have a job I hate, no one to love me and I live with my mum
Game. Set. Match
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)
I have no job, no-one to love, I'm broke
and just ran out of gin.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:08, Reply)
I have 70cl of Gin and 15 cans of cider
and still wouldn't mind throwing myself onto the pointy end of a fence.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)
even though all the above is true
I'm still pretty cheerful considering. I'd like all those things, but I'm not bothered about them
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)
You're a better person than me.
Though anyone could have told you that :D
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)
lies :)
I'm not a good person in the least. As I said yesterday I am reminding myself more and more of Withnail
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:18, Reply)
I've never seen that
Kept meaning to, and to drink along. Deathdeathdeath.

And as I always say, no one is a good person.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)
I'm still trying to persuade people
to play the drinking game to that. I reckon I could keep up if I skipped the cider etc
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)
Joseph Gordon Levitt + Withnail and I?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:28, Reply)
we would be so drunk
though I will refuse to drink either lighter fluid or vinegar (in place of lighter fluid)
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)
OH LAMPITO !
I thought you stopped this silly nonsence with getting wrecked on a regular basis and sleeping with guys who you don't even like and taking .

You're KILLING YOURSELF, Lampito, with your life of debortchory.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:26, Reply)
I get wrecked once every 2 weeks, and my ex was only a momentary lapse
I'm getting BETTER, Gonz. Hope your guts feel better soon, too.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:28, Reply)
Thank you ! I hope they will be fixed soon too, or at least, for a little while.
I have some treatment next week which should jolt thinks back into order.

As for the life of drink and boys, I'm only saying that 'cus, well, I'm trolling. It makes no differance to me if you drink so much you thoroughly disgrace yourself and end up in a police cell on your back with two legs akimbo in the air doing a Kinga-from-big-brother with a £4.99 bottle of ASDA vodka.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:39, Reply)
Oh TGB, TGB look!
this is my new favourite Gonzism - debortchory.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:28, Reply)
I love you, TGB.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)
Gutted, TGB, GUTTED.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)
I don't think you mean that

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)
Beneath my gruff, manly exterior
beats the heart of a tremulous romantic poet, in thrall to courtly love and to the beauty and wonder of nature: the tiny beads of dew in a morning flower, a babbling brook, the sweet song of the nightingale...

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day Mother Shipton's Cave?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:39, Reply)
Monty you massive cunt!
/fulfilling script obligations
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:44, Reply)
It could be worse.
You could live with MY mum.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)
*sigh*

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)
LOVE YOU

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)
Why next year?
Just apply for some jobs now.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)
I should stay here and appear to be stable and successful until it's time to relocate to another city.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)
Well start applying for jobs in the new city then.
The year's nearly over, I saw christmas decorations for sale on Saturday.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)
yeah but generally, think of the time span of applying, being interviewed, and (if you get the job) having to start
it would be too soon.
I can't move until next year and I don't know where yet.
So I should shut up and get awn with it.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)
christmas decorations already? are you kidding?

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:08, Reply)
sorry love
post holiday blues suck!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:18, Reply)
I NEVER get them normally!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:20, Reply)
it must have been a fucking epic holiday then!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)
It was poyfect.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:28, Reply)
I'm happy that I've gotten all my study done.
I'm unhappy because I need to book another docs appointment to get the asthma diagnosis confirmed.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)
I'm actually quite happy today
I'm going to make some glacier mint vodka, and finish a short story for the first time in ages.

I'm pissed off a tiny bit because the cold has attacked my lungs, and if the last two years are an accurate representation, I'll be in hospital in two days time hacking my lungs up
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:10, Reply)
oh dear.
positive thinking! hopefully you'll be okay. Lots of rest and fluids.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)
happens every Easter, summer and Christmas
usually a week in hospital wheezing like an old women because my asthma turns to bronchitis
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)
Shit I do hope not.
I was up at 4am today, woken up by my inability to swallow without agony. So I stood in the kitchen gargling warm salt water, until I accidentally swallowed some and retched repeatedly.


Today's 'Strikethrough Challenge'. You have 3 minutes.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)
too easy :(

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)
obligatory post.
salt water semen
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)
Just inside the allotted 3 minutes too. Well done you.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)
anytime :)

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)
Who is the patron saint of lungs?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:23, Reply)
St Bernadine of Siena apparantly

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:24, Reply)
That contains a name with negative connotations

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:54, Reply)
I saw a band in the papers called St Jude the other day.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)
He gets everywhere
Me and my mate are on Judewatch.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:54, Reply)
I like the sound of the vodka, explain please

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:29, Reply)
One mo and I'll link you to the relevant thread
and then if you like I'll gaz you the details

b3ta.com/talk/6932373#post6932454
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)
I feel like my balls are in my guts and they're being tendorised by someone who's never touched a pair before. OH WOE IS ME, gutted and aww didums, never mind, they'll be better in a couple of weeks at most.
I'm happy in general because aside my guts, everything is coming up gonz-street. I think, I donno, some things are great, some things are shit, but the great outweighs the shit, so that's good enough for me.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)
You need to adjust your wanking technique, young man.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:22, Reply)

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