I'm in a good mood today.
There is a bottle of red wine with my name on it in the boot of the car for this evening.

I will be having a lovely walk after work with my mother and the dogs and it will soon be bash time.

Try and rain on my parade if you dare.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:20, 190 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

i have been in work since 7am
my bum is stiff from walking 6.5 miles home after some vodkas last night. i have a 2 hour BD meeting now, for which i am utterly unprepared. then i have a long day of appeasing boring clients. then i have a personal training session at 8pm. only then, at 9.30pm, do i get to go out.

if that much misery doesn't piss on your chips, i don't know what will, old buddy old pal!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:29, Reply)

Did you walk home in your bum-toning trainers?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:32, Reply)

yes!
pain. much pain.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I did loads of stomach-crunching pole stuff last night
and now it hurts to sit. I love post-workout muscle pain, it feels like validation.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:23, Reply)

i like it at the time
i hate it the morning after when i can't even put my bra on without agony!

i have been doing sit ups with a medicine ball i bought. why did i reject the 5kg one as being too light? you can't tell these things online. now i have a massive 8kg one that i can barely lift, never mind do sit-ups with.

i think it's actually trying to kill me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:31, Reply)

but think how awesome you'll feel when you can lift it with ease!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:41, Reply)

true true
sigh
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Yes well you're young enough to do all that and still want to go out.
I'd be going to bed at 9.30.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:36, Reply)

I wish I could
Tonight is the last night my brother is here. We've been doing things every evening, and I'm so tired. However, tonight we're going to Rusholme for a curry. And I need to pack and do the laundry at some point too.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:38, Reply)

Mmmmm curry.
We're going to try the tapas bar near me on Saturday.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:39, Reply)

Oh, nice
I have to go there with you and try it. Oh, yes, and know that you eat chicken, you can have proper paella as well.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:43, Reply)

Only free range chicken so I wouldn't eat chicken in a restaurant.
I don't know where it comes from.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:49, Reply)

I only buy free range too
It tastes nicer and fills you up quicker.

Maybe you can ask at the restaurant. When I order fish I always ask if it's responsibly sourced.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:51, Reply)

I can't see restaurants using f/range chicken. It would be too expensive.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Good restaurants would
if people asked for it. The same as with fish, they didn't use to do it, but when people started asking for good fish they had to provide it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:58, Reply)

LoLZ.
Call me cynical but......
"Is that free range chicken in your dishes?"
"Of course madam."
Cut to kitchen.
"Is that free range chicken?" Guffaw.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Innit.
Like London's 'halal' chicken shops - found in numerous occasions to be selling chicken with PORK FAT injected into it to increase weight...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Halal doesn't mean no pork fat
it means no blood, doesn't it?

Usually they are very proud if they have free range or responsibly sourced fish, and can show you the labels or stamps to prove it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Halal means no pork at all.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I believe the point is if you're after halal, having pork as part of the product is somewhat counterproductive

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:43, Reply)

counterproductive
is a very mild way of saying "you and your family will all burn in hell forever". you should have been around to assist in drafting the bible and the koran, you could have saved a lot of problems in the long-term with that sort of rational thinking.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:49, Reply)

It's not a sin
if they don't know they are doing it, so they wouldn't go to hell. The ones selling the chicken, though...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I still retain my mad drafting skillz

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:01, Reply)

It seems I was wrong
I thought they were two different things:

1. Food has to be Halal - animals that weren't dead before slaughtering, and without blood
2. Can't eat pork.

But no, Halal includes both and more:
mideastfood.about.com/od/middleeasternfood101/a/halalfoods.htm
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:50, Reply)

have you been to that tapas bar
el gato negro - it's not sowerby bridge, but just before it (ripponden, i think)? was on tv a few months ago.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:32, Reply)

It's national poetry day,
so I thought that I would say,
That writing in rhyme,
takes a hell of a time,
So I think I'll stick with prose.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:29, Reply)

shan't!
I'm still in a good mood. It's a nice day and I'm going to be spending it out of the office. Albeit in Weston-super-Mare :-/

I've been made aware that the stupid handbag thing on facebook is to raise awareness for breast cancer same as that pants things last year (which I had entirely forgotten about and at any rate only vaguely knew it was about breast cancer anyway)

My question to you is this: obviously breast cancer is a terrible thing and women (and men to some extent) need to be aware of it and to check themselves, but I put forward that posting a cryptic message on facebook is not a very good way of doing it. Surely something more to the point like BREAST CANCER: FUCKING CHECK YOURSELF YOU SPASTIC! would be more effective.

What do you think?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:29, Reply)

It was very good last year
as it made the news, and a lot of stupid women who wouldn't visit the doctor but who spend tons of hours on facebook got to know about it and maybe some of them did check themselves.

It's like with kids, they learn quickly and happier if it's with a little game.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:35, Reply)

*shrugs*
It's harmless fun.

The facebook posts, not breast cancer.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:38, Reply)

www.cracked.com/article_18775_5-popular-safety-measures-that-dont-make-you-any-safer.html
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:03, Reply)

I reckon we should start one for Prostate Cancer
Men can get breast cancer, but we're not allowed to enter the breast cancer charity run thing. Terribly sexist in my opinion.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:03, Reply)

you only want to enter so you can watch lots of boobs jogging up and down.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:10, Reply)

I don't need to run to do that
Behold, THE INTERNET!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:11, Reply)

I'm surprised you leave the house

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:23, Reply)

It's a daily struggle

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Well, this is the first time I knew it was anything to do with breast cancer
It was just stupid and confusing, and made you think folk were having sex on the sideboard or coffee table.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:28, Reply)

I think we should all say breast cancer again and again
that'll show them
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:35, Reply)

It's good to see you so happy
How is your mum doing back to the reality, after such a long holiday?

Just one thing, don't call the rain. It looks like it's going to come anyway.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:32, Reply)

She's going back to Tenerife at the end of this month for a couple of weeks.
My sister is moving into her new flat and my mum is going to help her settle in.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:37, Reply)

She doesn't have a bad life, does she?
I wish I could go to Tenerife as often as she does.

So, are you going to be looking after your dad again? We need a farewell bash at the end of November, as I'll be going on holidays and then straight down to The South.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:39, Reply)

Well let me know when and I'll come over : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:40, Reply)

Ok
I'm still deciding if I want to do only one with work & friends or if I'll have time for two.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:42, Reply)

The next few days are going to be LOVELY and no mistaking it.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:40, Reply)

It looks like it!
I'm on a barge trip this weekend around Milton Keynes, and it seems that the weather is going to be lovely. Yey!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Keep an eye out for Chompy.
He'll be the rapey looking one hiding living under a bridge.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Kind of LARP 'trolling', right?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:46, Reply)

It is real life to him.
And he takes it very seriously.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:48, Reply)

He disapointed me once
I was going to meet him and he didn't even call. He's not the rapey he says he is on here.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:46, Reply)

He's fucking great.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Is that ironic?
Or you really like him that much?
Or maybe you mean he's great as a rapey?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:50, Reply)

No irony, he's an excellent fellow.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Stop hitting on me

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Not 'til you 'give up the booty'

I feel sick now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:12, Reply)

I feel sick too.
Well done again.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I know I'm shit
in my defence I was moving house that weekend.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:57, Reply)

Oh, well
I forgive you then :)

We were pretty busy all weekend too, so wouldn't have had time for much apart from a beer or something like that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:59, Reply)

Thanks, did you have a good time at woburn?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:00, Reply)

I walked Woburn a couple of weeks ago, gorgeous.
We also did Brickhill which you mentioned, bloody lovely around there.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:06, Reply)

I have many fond memories of falling off my bike in brickhill woods.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:07, Reply)

falling off my being the in of
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Woburn was nice
The oyster festival wasn't. There was only one stand selling oysters at £15 for 6 oysters, a pint of cheap stout and a little glass (200mil) of fizzy. Everything in that village is so expensive!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Ha ha, yes it's a bit of a rip off.
It's the premium you pay to pretend you're in middle England.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Buf
We paid £12 for a round of 3 pints!! Not even in London!

Of course, we had that round and went back to MK. So that's £15 taxi each way for an overpriced ale and 10 min in the funfair.

MK was lovely, though. A bit difficult to live in there if you don't have a car or a bike, but very pretty.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Ha, you should have just gone to the pubs,
they're cheaper than the stalls and usually do some oysters as well.

Mk is designed for the car but it's not that bad as long as you live nearish the center.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Oh, that was at the pub
we were told that they increase the prices during that weekend. We were so happy!

We have 2 friends in MK, both live near the center, but different centers, so it's a 30min bike ride to each other houses. Both have shops and a pub near their home, but if they want to meet, they need bikes or car.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Oh that sounds shit, it wasn't like that last year.
Stupid poshos in woburn.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Well, I'm not going again for sure
I can find lovely oysters in other places, for a reasonable price too.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:51, Reply)

^ i think this ^
is how most people react after their first (and last) trips to milton keynes.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:06, Reply)

The canal through Milton Keynes is totally lovely.
I've walked a fair portion of it - MK at its best.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:50, Reply)

The trip is a week long
The guys started on Monday and are sending lovely pictures. I'm jealous. I can only go Friday to Sunday, but maybe have to leave on Sat, as we have tons of things to do and we need the internet.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:52, Reply)

I'm only ten miles down the road from there.
Next time you come, I'll come and flash my tits say hi.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:54, Reply)

Well,
Next time is Friday.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:59, Reply)

I'm going to London tomorrow to see Mumford & Sons
which is considerably more interesting than going to Oxford to see The Magic Numbers which, up until yesterday, was what I was doing tomorrow.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:04, Reply)

I'd say they were both equally interesting.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:08, Reply)

What level of interesting-ness would you rate them at?

(Cave Duck, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Somewhere around the 'Marillion' mark.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:15, Reply)

I see.


In other news, I notice that Marillion's original singer is teaming up with Erik Estrada and the other bloke from that motor bike cop show to do a tour of Harry Ramsden's establishments.
(Cave Duck, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:22, Reply)

The pitiful, lonely existence of 'Fish' makes me feel very sad.
Not even CHiPS can cheer him up
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:26, Reply)

I don't know either, so I can't tell
But ok, I'll let you know next time we're around MK. Where do you live?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:15, Reply)

You didn't rate them live?
I saw them a few years ago and I thought they were alright. 7/10, I'd say.
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Has anybody else noticed that the so-fat-he-can't-even-reach-his-own-chin-to-shave lead singer
of The Magic Numbers sounds like South Park's Eric Cartman when he sings?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Why?

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:46, Reply)

High-pressure warm front moving in from the south.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:49, Reply)

Ooooo! lovely.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:51, Reply)

Positively balmy for this time of year.
news.bbc.co.uk/weather/forecast/2372?area=Todmorden
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Might go for a nice walk on Sunday then.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:54, Reply)

Bombs in Londonderry
Saudi princes beating their gay lovers to death in London hotels.
Ongoing violence in the Middle East.
And the Sun leads with getting Gamera or whatever back into X-Factor.

On the plus side, I have the afternoon off YAY but to run errands BOO.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:36, Reply)

Hahah, 'Gamera'?
Probably lose to Megalon in the next round anyway - or to Mecha-Godzilla in the live final...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:53, Reply)

I feel ill, overworked, skint, stressed and bored.
My house is a dilapidated tip, all my friends are cunts, I've got fuck all holiday left until 2011, I still have neither TV nor internet at home, and one of my turntables is broken.

Fie on you with your good mood, fie on you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:43, Reply)

Why are you always so upset?
You have a girlfriend now, haven't you? You can see your daughter without the crazy ex. I know for sure that your B3ta friends are not cunts.

Do you spend your day looking for reasons to be upset?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:46, Reply)

BGB specifically challenged us to rain on her parade.
I was merely following orders.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:47, Reply)

I see what you did there
Good work. You're unique at making people feel gray.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:48, Reply)

haha this is a totally sweet burn

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:05, Reply)

Sorry, I don't understand 'teen speak', what does this mean?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:07, Reply)

She insulted you in an amusing and subtle manner
which I found enjoyable
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:09, Reply)

I see, thank you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:09, Reply)

You've been served.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:10, Reply)

I prescribe.....
MOAR FUN WITH LADIES!
LESS DRUGS!
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:47, Reply)

BTW, I just realised
You made a STATEMENT OF THE WEEK. If I was you I'd sort it before Kitty comes over here and tells you off.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:48, Reply)

haha
I'll let her off as she made a suggestion that we try and ruin her good mood. My issue with Statement of The Week is that it doesn't inspire debate.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Ok, ok
I see that you can make excuses quickly just to let her off.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:32, Reply)

We all die alone and scared.
All of us.




:)
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:49, Reply)

And I'll probably be going before you lot : /

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:52, Reply)

I doubt that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:53, Reply)

I'll be there for you Monty.
At your bedside, holding your hand and making sure your morphine drip keeps flowing.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:56, Reply)

I'd presumed that Monty spends most nights on a morphine drip, whether in pain or not.

(Cave Duck, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:00, Reply)

I drink it in pints.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:06, Reply)

You are Marc Almond AICMFP.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Is there an award for most retch inducing post of the day?

(Cave Duck, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Excellent name
German Diarrhoea man.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I daren't.
Nor would I wish to as you seem to be one of the nicest, most sincere people on here.

I might just question whether the boot of your car is the best place to store red wine, though.
(Cave Duck, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:57, Reply)

It's only cheap wine. I doubt it would bugger up the flavour too much.
And thank you very much for the compliment.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 8:59, Reply)

I don't want to rain on your parade
I'm somewhat chirpier today because I've uncovered some crucial evidence that goes a long way to linking the suspect to the crime I'm investigating. What we call the 'smoking gun' evidence.

Oh, on that note, if you plan on committing any type of crime on t'internet, please log into your email account and fire off a few mails to your mates just before you start your nefarious acts. Please.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:10, Reply)

What's your job again?
You sound like someone from CSI.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:16, Reply)

He cleans the offices of an internet law firm.
When they've all gone home, he sits in the boss's chair and pretends to be an actual member of staff. It's all a bit sad really.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Oh
You can make me laugh too. You're full of surprises today, Monty.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:26, Reply)

I am an enthralling enigma.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:33, Reply)

He looks at free porn all day
then "judges" people
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:19, Reply)

All of the above is true
But I'm a digital forensic analyst, meaning I look through computers for evidence.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:21, Reply)

So that's quite CSI
are there so many crimes here to keep you busy? Maybe I'm mistranslating "crime" and you don't mean only killings.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:27, Reply)

I rarely do murder cases
They probably account for 5% of my casework. It's mostly paedo cases, drugs and fraud.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Mmmmm...
You must go home thinking rubbish of humans, with a job like that. What do you have to study to be a digital forensic analyst?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Computers obviously.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I don't tend to think about work after I leave
Most people who join studied some form of computer science, and as of the last few years you can get Masters degrees in computer forensics.

Me, I have a Philisophy degree, but landed the job because I'm awesome.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:35, Reply)

I have to work with criminals every day
I have become very cynical.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:49, Reply)

ooh that's exciting
we use guys like you all the time, you're WELL EXPENSIVE.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Not all companies charge the same ;)
Also, rates change depending if it's legal aid etc.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:29, Reply)

trudat
we mostly do appeals so ours are usually privately paying clients. But most of them are guilty so it's their own fault if they want to spend silly money appealing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:34, Reply)

We've done a few of those
Including one where their own solicitor effectively said "They're loaded, they'll throw money at you to get them off, so keep trying", despite us saying that the guy's as guilty as sin.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Lawyers eh, what lovely people doing the best for their clients.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:42, Reply)

For barristers it's all a game
Sometimes it's fun to watch how they act inside and then outside of court.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:44, Reply)

well fuck you too

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I'm glad you spotted that.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:51, Reply)

it's ok
next time you want legal advice and come crawling back over broken glass i'll just make sure i get it wrong.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I was going to start arguing that solicitors can't lie for their clients
and can't represent them if the client admits guilt, but I would have to start the sentence with "any honest solicitor" and knew I would get shot down immediately.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:53, Reply)

True dat
And thankfully no solicitor has ever asked us to lie in our reports, but we have been asked if we can draw some shaky conclusions from the evidence. They do this a lot, barristers too. If I say that there's a chance, an exceedingly remote chance, that X happened, there'll push that as hard into the Jury's mind as they can.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:55, Reply)

It's all about exploiting grey areas
any solicitor or barrister who asks you to lie is a dickhead
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Wilco
*emails Lab*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I don't think I could
I'm going for a pint tonight, someone told me I was thin last night, I've got a weekend of DIY and cycling up ahead, and possibly a massage.

Life is goood.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Boo hoo - I'm not able to drink beer tonight now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Is suicide an option?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:27, Reply)

It's always an option.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:29, Reply)

hello you
why no beers?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Greetings.
No beers because I am in a panic about my mother coming up on Saturday and my daughter coming round to my house.

My house is a drug-strewn tip: not a good look. I also feel ill.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:30, Reply)

very restrained
i am impressed.

just get the hoover out. you can borrow my shiny new dyson. job done!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:34, Reply)

That's a fair
enough excuse. I expect a Queen style cleaning video tomorrow please.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Now it's your turn
we're going out for beers tonight Swipey. Put on your dungarees, we're going to sparkle in Soho.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:37, Reply)

(i) sorry i have a date tonight with my personal trainer
followed by a pizza with my friend over in ealing

(ii) dungarees? are you mad? those aren't easy-access.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:39, Reply)

(i) That doesn't sound like "Yes"
(ii) Why on EARTH would you need easy access in Soho. Dyke.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:41, Reply)

"six little words
i'm not gay but i'll learn"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I'm not gay but I can be tricked

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I'm currently waiting for a girl who'll allow a bit of rumpy pumpy with me, and for her to ask me for a safe-word, so I can say "The the forth act of a mid summer night's dream in german".
I dreamed that up and woke myself up laughing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:20, Reply)

what happened to cafe girl?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:28, Reply)

You're too quick
Or I wrote too much. Next time I'll be faster.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:29, Reply)

I type all day every day
I'm faster than The Flash. It's one of my many pointless skills
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Never pointless
Didn't you see that chapter of Doctor Who with Dona Novel? (I'm not sure about the spelling)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I don't watch Dr Who, sorry!
Did she save the day by typing really quickly? Maybe I could be a superhero.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

She had a lot of pointless skills
One of them was typing. Slowly, during the series, it was proven that all those pointless skills (especially the typing) saved the Universe.

You should watch Doctor Who. It's great! I can't wait for the next Christmas special.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:59, Reply)

read gonzo's post again
that may be the answer right there.

did you find your maritime law stuff, or do you need me to do anything else?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:30, Reply)

I've emailed loads of stuff to the parents
and they've said they're going to look into it all and let me know if they want further help. I told them to get a copy of their contract as well so if they do I'll probably come knocking on your door again. Thanks for the help, it was really useful.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:32, Reply)

no worries my sweet
just gaz me up if you need anything innit!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:33, Reply)

I will, thanks.
I NEED MY FREE HOLIDAYS BACK
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I haven't had the guts to go back since the whole dad thing =(((((
I think I've moved on now though, found someone better to fasinate about.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:33, Reply)

it's me isn't it?
please let it be me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Maybe.... are you into traffic warden roll-play?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:38, Reply)

if you came near me dressed as one
i'd hit you with my car. does that count?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:39, Reply)

But when you go to park it afterwards, could you do it about 4 inches outside of the yellow lines on a saturday 10 minute before the parking timezone runs out?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:41, Reply)

if that would make you happy
i can do it twice.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Those are the best dreams
Leave you happy feeling for the day, don't they?

So is this girl the girlfriend you talked about in facebook? What about the café girl? What happened with her?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Woh', what girl on facebook?
See above about Cafe Girl.

I donno, I'm happy just sorting out my life at the moment, getting it all back on track. *Goes all shy and avoids questions*
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:35, Reply)

The one strolling your leg : )
I think you're doing very well at sorting your life. A job, a girl... before you know you'll have a mortage, a dog and half a dozen of Gonzitos.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:47, Reply)

One of my stupid customers is moaning they didn't get three items in their delivery
One was my fault
Two did leave the building and obviously transport fucked up by not offloading the damn things at the other end

I hate boxes.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:26, Reply)

careful you don't get fired

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:29, Reply)

: )

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:29, Reply)

whatevs LAAK

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Not so much raining on your parade
But I'm getting my hair cut this evening. For the the fist time in about 12 months.

I don't know what to have done.

If it looks shit, I could blame you I suppose?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Get a demi wave.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:36, Reply)

*Googles picture of Demi Moore waving*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:40, Reply)

get this
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:38, Reply)

That really is *shit*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Get this
It's how I imagine you look when your mum finds out you've been fucking dogs.

slog.thestranger.com/files/2007/06/BadHaircut.jpg
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Looks like he's been prepped for a lobotomy.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:44, Reply)

best technique for a lobotomy is to go through the eye sockets
no haircut needed.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Yeah, I saw that prog about the lobotomist who cured kids in america for behaving a bit wildly.
I was thinking more of planet of the apes type surgery.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Do you go to a human barber?
I imagine you sitting, waiting your turn, at a poodle parlour.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Poodle you say?
posts fav poodle picture EVVVAAAAR

Actually the link to that womans website scares me a little
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:47, Reply)

If I was that dog, I'd rip her throat out.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:53, Reply)

But the turtles must use their powers only for goo..
Sorry, my mistake. As you were.
(Cave Duck, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Geek pie
it's all the rage.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:47, Reply)