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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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TRICK OR TREAT
motherfuckers!
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:03, 213 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Here, have a gobstopper.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:04, Reply)
mfmfmmfmfmfmmfff

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:04, Reply)
TRICK!
*Bring it on!*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:08, Reply)
pick a card
any card
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:14, Reply)
Barclaycard

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:18, Reply)
treat please :)

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:17, Reply)
*spits gobstopper*

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:18, Reply)
Here, have some cake.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:18, Reply)
excellent
thank you
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:20, Reply)
second hand gobstopper
not good enough for you?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:22, Reply)
never
they always taste of the same thing, spittle and sadness
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:23, Reply)
Mmmmm, spittle.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:25, Reply)
Always useful in certain situations.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:25, Reply)
Brilliant for adding enzymes to begin the digestion process.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:26, Reply)
That's disgusting.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:27, Reply)
And it happens every time you eat.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:29, Reply)
Isn't the human body horrible.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:30, Reply)
or yummy

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:33, Reply)
nope not usually

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:54, Reply)
also handy for curing the blind

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:29, Reply)
Both please I like the anxiety.
The witches is freaking awesome even if the cast is populated by trannies
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:22, Reply)
I've just had two young urban terrorists knock on my door
Giving it the the whole 'trick or treat' thing.

It was brilliant.

Firstly, they didn't know, when I asked them, if they were asking me a question or making a statement (they were probably about 4 years old).

Secondly, their mother who was with them was a proper yummy mummy, which resulted in some shit flirting on my part. 'How can someone as lovely looking as you have some ugly children (well, they were dressed as witches)' blah blah blah.

Long and the short of it, the mother is married to the kids father, based on that I said I couldn't get the kids anything.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:30, Reply)
Hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:32, Reply)
They were lucky.
I bought 10 Lamberts on Friday for the other kids that come knocking.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:33, Reply)
do boys find any opportunity to
flirt with girls? for goodness sake. Perhaps I should take some tips for flirting with boys
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:33, Reply)
I'm no point of reference
I'm single.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:33, Reply)
they don't notice

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:34, Reply)
We can turn any situation into a sexually tense hurricane

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:35, Reply)
A one-sided sexually tense hurricane.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:39, Reply)
Hurricanes are essentially circular
Perhaps a more apt synonym might be "bombardement".

As in "I bombarded her with cock gazzes and now I'm on a register."
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:45, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:04, Reply)
I have yet to meet any guy who became a sexually tense hurricane.
I think that says more about me than them.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:42, Reply)
I've only ever been a sexually tense Category Two storm around you.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:43, Reply)
not good enough to be a Four aye?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:45, Reply)
Shaddap.
I got my Saffir-Simpson scale muddled up.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:46, Reply)
Hehe!
Attempted compliment fail!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:49, Reply)
I must try harder.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:45, Reply)
Hey, it's better than a slight drop in barometric pressure.
Ok, yeah, meteorology isn't sexy.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:47, Reply)
something something a stormy front

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:47, Reply)
Check out the isobars on THAT!

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:48, Reply)
Now I've got the Orb's fluffy clouds in my head.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:49, Reply)
Little Fluffy Clouds!
Tune :)
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:52, Reply)
I'd get him in a high pressure zone

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:50, Reply)
Increasing relative humidity.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:52, Reply)
with an accompanying warm front

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:54, Reply)
You're a ten on my Beaufort Scale.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:56, Reply)
i forecast dry spells

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:58, Reply)
Innit.
More like a drought.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:59, Reply)
I sense an atmosphere in here.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:59, Reply)
I'm amazed no one has yet mentioned
hot 'periods'.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:05, Reply)
or wet patches

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:10, Reply)
Tomorrow, it'll be damp all day.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:12, Reply)
but all that sultry weather
Is good for growth
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:24, Reply)
There might be some depression.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:29, Reply)
+ in the high 30s

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:39, Reply)
Can we not say the mid-30's?
It'll be less of a depression then.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:41, Reply)
I hope David Cameron isn't reading this
Discriminating against children because their parents are married is wrong. Probably.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:36, Reply)
For far more years than I'd care to admit, I thought that phrase was "trickle treat".

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:49, Reply)
treacle treat
yum
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:50, Reply)
This has amused me more than is justifiable.
Although as a vegetarian in childhood I did think there was such a thing as ham-cheese.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:50, Reply)
that could be an unusual fetish

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:53, Reply)
Halloween can sod off
My facepaint won't come off and it currently looks like I have a kidney disease.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:53, Reply)
use shampoo
/expert
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:56, Reply)
It's more the fact my mates switched the facepaint with shoe polish and I was too off my tits to notice.
I did wonder why it stung so much.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:00, Reply)
ok, can't help you with that one
bad luck
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:04, Reply)
Shoe polish?
Were you at a halloween party, or recreating the black and white minstrel show?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:06, Reply)
Someone blacked up a couple of years ago here
an asian person. Made the national newspapers I believe
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:07, Reply)
Or a combination of the two?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:08, Reply)
I went as Lenny Henry.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:09, Reply)
You single as well?
Or the joke, 'Lenny Henry lost over 20 stone this week...
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:11, Reply)
No, my mate went as Dawn French.
Edit - despite that, that wouldn't really change anything given their recent seperation. So yes I am.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:12, Reply)
Did it take long for you both to get into character
Or are neither of you funny anyway, thus making it a lot easier?

OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooKaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:14, Reply)
It took ages.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:14, Reply)
Trick.
if you dare

Any little shit who knocks on my door this evening begging will get stabbed in the eye.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:54, Reply)
Harsh!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:55, Reply)
But fair
My doorbell hasn't stopped!

My mate rigged his doorbell to his laptop so it screams at them - fuck nows how, he's just clever like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:56, Reply)
I haven't had any come round
I reckon a dogs barking noise would be good
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:57, Reply)
Haven't had a single one yet.
/lives in a town centre
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:57, Reply)
That's a great idea. I have lent my pressure washer to someone other wise I would be using that out of the window on each little turd who comes near our flat.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:58, Reply)
It's nothing more than begging.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:57, Reply)
with threats

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:57, Reply)
True. My gf wouldn't let me put a sign on the door that said "Fuck off you begging little cunts".
Can't think why...
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:59, Reply)
It's only sweets.
I don't give money.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 18:58, Reply)
I'm expecting a brick through the window at any point
They blatantly know I'm here, I was leaning out the window smoking earlier.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:04, Reply)
Get some bricks yourself and throw them first.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:05, Reply)
definitely a bit harsh
it's only sweets. I wouldn't give them to anyone over a certain age obviously, but little children are usually alright enough
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:06, Reply)
It's begging and should be discouraged.
Next year I am going to soak some Mars bars in creosote and hand those out.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:07, Reply)
Hardly begging
more asking.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:07, Reply)
Disturbing people's evenings by knocking on their door to demand sweets when saying no will result in something unpleasant is not just "asking".
It should be illegal.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:09, Reply)
^This.
Unless the kids have a dead-fit mum
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:11, Reply)
They don't
I peeked through the curtains.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:12, Reply)
I take your point
maybe we get a different class of trick and treater. Usually they're just small kids with a group of parents who knock, wait a moment then leave if the door isn't answered, and who only want sweets.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:13, Reply)
Even that is bad enough.
How would you feel on another night of the year if your evening was disturbed by a knock at the door to find someone you don't know demanding something?
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:15, Reply)
What I'm saying is
I'm not bothered. Here it's not an issue obviously, but even at home, if we want we can ignore it, if not giving out a few sweets on ONE night of the year is hardly terrible. It's not a license to do what they want, nor is it very often.

Your point of any other night doesn't hold water. It's a fairly long standing tradition that doesn't happen on any other night.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:18, Reply)
We had them last Sunday, Friday night, last night and tonight.
It's not that longstanding either - it's an Americanism that has existed for about 30 years over here.

In Battered's Britain it will be illegal.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:22, Reply)
Well different POV
we only get them on one night here.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:26, Reply)
Reasonable people can disagree.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:27, Reply)
This is true
My mother just phoned so I enquired about trick or treaters to back my point up, and apparantly the stupid children lined both sides of a narrow country road so she almost ran them over. No loss to the gene pool there
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:33, Reply)
There would be a certain irony to child slaughter on Halloween.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:38, Reply)
Bring your daughter to the slaughter!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:40, Reply)
I'm pretty sure that's where the tradition
of masks evolved from,
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:59, Reply)
That's an idea, maybe debt collection agencies could send their heavies round on Hallowe'en with Scream masks and baseball bats.
It would lighten the arduous task of debt collection and make Hallowe'en a bit more exciting for householders. Especially the ones that live nearby and don't actually have any debts.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:19, Reply)
I've just had 3 more kids knocking at the door.
I didn't answer it, I just shouted through the glass, 'I'm on the sex offenders register, if I answer the door to you, I'll be in prison by this time tomorrow'
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:17, Reply)
POTD

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:17, Reply)
Cheers!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:26, Reply)
Hello Legless.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:27, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:28, Reply)
This will result in your door being kicked down tomorrow
and PEEDO being scrawled on your walls
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:19, Reply)
Cock it.
I've only just cleaned up after the last time.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:21, Reply)
See, this is why I like you.
EDIT - because you make remarks like this, not that you're on the register.
(berk, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:54, Reply)
Evening berk!
I'm going to eat my dinner now, but I'll be back later to mock you and hot-bloke!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:05, Reply)
One or two, that's fine
It's every two minutes, and they're banging on my windows. Only mothers with them, never dad's. Don't want to make a sweeping assumption, but...
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:11, Reply)
To be honest I don't get many.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:12, Reply)
Dads?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:13, Reply)
Yup them as well.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:14, Reply)
You rarely meet FILFs
but to be fair, I think the brats would put you off
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:23, Reply)
Just in case you were wondering.
Most blokes with kids don't have stretch marks.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:25, Reply)
For the dads it's all in the eyes
The look of someone who has been broken inside. Still wondering and hoping about what might have been.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:31, Reply)
alright dj
you still gigging it up on tuesday?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:34, Reply)
woo and indeed yay
Excited about it just a bit. For large values of bit.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:42, Reply)
excellent news
what time are you arriving in London?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:49, Reply)
not sure
Depends when I can escape from work. Want to meet up beforehand and have a drink or ten?
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:55, Reply)
Now I am newly moneyed up
this is possible. Let me know what time :)
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:57, Reply)
will do Amberlina

(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:02, Reply)
I'm in the attic
Listening to Deep Purple at a volume which is unlikely to help my Tinnitus.

I may have had some little scotes braying on my door, but I can't hear them.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:15, Reply)
Ask the kids if they've got any allergies.
Then give them something they can't eat.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:07, Reply)
shit, there's some at the door right now
*hides*
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:40, Reply)
Domestos is your friend in this situation.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:42, Reply)
Ach, I don't mind them.
I've been listening to Sunn O))) as it is Hallowe'en, and now listening to Goldie. S'all good.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:18, Reply)
Ooh!
Low were excellent by the way. Slint I didn't like quite so much.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:19, Reply)
The Low gig in Leeds is sold out now.
You don't like Slint? Fair enough. On a bit of a DnB tip tonight- got this track on. www.youtube.com/watch?v=izDtphAlEP8&feature=related

Stone cold classic. Perfect 90s junglism.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:23, Reply)
I want cake.
I don't often want cake but I do now.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:37, Reply)
i have welsh cakes
but I want a man
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:38, Reply)
I've more chance of getting cake.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:39, Reply)
well cake is nice

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:41, Reply)
Don't you mean nicer?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:41, Reply)
depends on the cake and the cock

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:45, Reply)
I'll tell you one thing.
You know where you are with cake.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:46, Reply)
Frustrated?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:47, Reply)
With some people......yes.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:48, Reply)
You need to pull a baker.
You'd be in clover then.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:50, Reply)
and all the cream
horns you could want
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:00, Reply)
Should have used the 'bun in the oven line!'

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:42, Reply)
unless you have supermarket caterpillar cake

(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:50, Reply)
I don't much like the supermarket caterpillar cake.
Too much icing, not enough cake.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:51, Reply)
I recently discovered that blue cake icing turns your poo green.
Have fun with that!
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:08, Reply)
is it a cake?
is it a creepy crawly?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:56, Reply)
the shops might still be open
what sort of cake would you like?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:38, Reply)
Can't be arsed to go to the shops.
I'm watching a zombie film.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:39, Reply)
You should have got a pick n mix at the cinema.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:44, Reply)
I was shocked this week
to find out my flatmate hasn't even heard of Evil Dead II let alone seen it. I just don't know him anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:45, Reply)
He should be dead to you.
Pun intended.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:47, Reply)
I take it from this
he has not heard of Evil Dead 3 either?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:58, Reply)
yep, knew nothing of that too
Quite frankly, I won't be able to look him in the eyes this evening.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:04, Reply)
School the punk.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:59, Reply)
Even after describing the chainsaw for a hand he wasn't convinced
But you're right though. He must be forced to watch it like Alex in A Clockwork Orange.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:11, Reply)
Currently on a train that's just left York
Will be late when I get back home. And in front of my parents and Rootatron last night I said, "Hooray for the gated community" meaning I wouldn't have any problems with trickle treaters ;) as I live in a flat on the river behind big iron gates. Except Roota thought I was non-sequitaring with, "Hooray for the gay community".

I personally think she's worried I'll one day leave her for someone who shares my love of Erasure.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:38, Reply)
That is always a possibility albeit a small one.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:40, Reply)
Oh L'amour

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:44, Reply)
Haha, that is really funny
I'm trying to hold in a train LOL. I... I think I love you.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:47, Reply)
Wins you no credibility at all

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:47, Reply)
I had no credibility to start with
EDIT: And for you to have said that suggests YOU know that song and who sung it.

You massive BUMDER.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:48, Reply)
Neither do I.
But that was very grim.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:51, Reply)
Thanks!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:52, Reply)
I'm flouncing about in my frock right now
Pretending to be the mighty gayers in Erasure.

Using my Hannah Montana hairbrush as a pretend microphone.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:53, Reply)
Did they cross-dress?
I never knew that.

YOU MASSIVE FAN.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:54, Reply)
I love how big an insult being a fan of Erasure or knowing anything about them has become
I approve thoroughly.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:59, Reply)
Evening mentioning the bands name makes you a fruit.
YOU FRUIT.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:04, Reply)
you said "fruit" because one of their b-sides was called Vitamin C
You colossal shirter.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:07, Reply)
Then there's the Communards
Over to you Jeff...
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:05, Reply)
Hey, Jeff, I was only having a laugh, right?
Jeff? JEFF?
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:32, Reply)
Don't worry Disappointed.
YOU (and only you) make me feel, mi-ighty real!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:39, Reply)
Well that's good
I'm pleased.

Blue Savannah is a smahing pop song though.

So is Small Town Boy.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:48, Reply)
If you love Summerville THAT much and are sick of me calling you a bandit then why don't you...
Go West! Life in peaceful there.
Go West! In the open air....
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:49, Reply)
We'll be together again...
Etc. For shirtlifters they really did write some good stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:53, Reply)
I regret questioning this in front of your poor parents.
Along with myself, they will now too wake up in the night, in turmoil, wondering just when you're going to drop that bombshell. The button fell out of my Scottish poppy. Can it be replaced, or are English poppy-middles incompatible?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:49, Reply)
well I'm an English / Scots hybrid
and you see how fucked up I am
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:52, Reply)
My poppy will be spashul.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:54, Reply)
Not that it's particularly relevant to this thread...
...but I just randomly met Janine Turner who used to play Maggie O'Connell on Norther Exposure. She was having breakfast at the next table over and we struck up a conversation, and she mentioned being an actress who played a pilot on an old TV series- and I suddenly recognized her. I think she was pleased that I knew her name off the top of my head.

And yes, she's still incredibly hot.
(I helped save b3ta! Wanderer, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:45, Reply)
I thought it was well fit the way her and Joel only used surnames with each other

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:53, Reply)
They made a very hot couple, for certain.
She's still damn gorgeous. Unfortunately she's also a conservative nutbar, but so it goes I guess...

And her daughter is a really nice kid. Overall a very pleasant moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Wanderer, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:09, Reply)
I am convinced that my 'train' was formerly the top deck of a double-decker bus in the 1970s.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:51, Reply)
*Sings*
Get on board! Get on board!
Come and join the Double Deckers.
Take a ticket for a journey,
On our double decker London bus.
Ring the bell (ding! ding!),
Toot the horn (honk! honk!),
When you ride with the Double Deckers.
Fun and laughter is what we're after,
On our double double double decker bus
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:53, Reply)
Melvyn Hayes
Unadulterated gaying from Jeff.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:55, Reply)
I'm not having a good night on here am I?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:56, Reply)
well it's not bad for a
coming out night
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:56, Reply)
*claps*
Bravo!

But seriously, I'd rather clunge than cock.

And I think using words like 'clunge' is a sure-fire way to pull.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:58, Reply)

lh (assless, blue sequined)
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:00, Reply)
Perhaps
You might care to give us all an example of how using the word "clunge" could assist in pulling techniques.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:17, Reply)
Well nothing else has worked in a while.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:39, Reply)
A lad who works for me
Claims to have had a whole lot of action by approaching girls and saying "I like your hat."
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:50, Reply)
Does he actually like hats, or is that just his 'line'?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:53, Reply)
Other than weddings
I can't think of many social occasions I'd be invited to where hats are worn.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:58, Reply)
I've done something similar
When I didn't have 42 years of dissolute lifestyle etched upon my face.

I used to walk up to to women and say "Nice Wig."

"It's me reel fuckin' hair yer knobcheese."

"Sorry luv"

Got me a couple of shags, but this was Gloucester.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:00, Reply)
I've had that in my head since boarding!
Our kids used to call me Tiger off the Double Deckers as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:55, Reply)
they were quite nice chocolate bars

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:58, Reply)
Urgh! hated double deckers.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:58, Reply)
Innit

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:00, Reply)
I've not had a double-decker chocolate bar in years.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:59, Reply)
I've only ever had the mini ones

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:00, Reply)
Too much going on
And didn't they contain flies?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 19:59, Reply)
:S
I did have to eat a bird right after
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:01, Reply)
can't believe you missed out the spider

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:01, Reply)
I totally swallowed a fly in St Andrews today

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:03, Reply)
Urgh a Scottish fly ?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:04, Reply)
Ew yeah it was and all

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:05, Reply)
she's swallowed worse

(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:08, Reply)
Like your lies about your sexuality?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:10, Reply)
her tears in the dead of night
as she wonders when the blow will fall
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:10, Reply)
Necking bottles of gin and crying at the kitchen table
knowing that someday he'll 'surprise' her with Take That tickets.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:42, Reply)
Jesus have you been drinking?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 22:09, Reply)
I avoided the trick or treaters by going out for a curry
by literally minutes - they were about 4 houses down from mine as I pulled out. SCORE!

I don't have any sweets anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:04, Reply)
The withdrawal method.
Risky, but it has been known to work.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 20:40, Reply)

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