That last thread seems to have died.
Who do you wish would just fucking die?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 11:49, 67 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Leslie Niel..
Oh.
(Cave Duck, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Almost everyone.
Particularly everyone who failed to notice my lovingly-crafted picture of you a couple of threads back.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Crafted?
You mean it wasn't real?

*disappointed*
(Cave Duck, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I didn't see that. Who is it in the picture?

Excellent skillz there, by the way.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Gary Oldman, of course!

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Ah, how foolish of me not to have guessed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 11:56, Reply)

All life is precious Monty
nah, just kidding. Can I just say "Most people on TV"?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Mugabe
Kim Jong Ill
(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 11:53, Reply)

No, Kim Jong In Fairly Good Health, sadly.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 11:55, Reply)

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Not enough people noticed my FB status of .....
"Ohmegosh France, did you hear what US was saying about you at the garla? It would make even Sweeden blush. That sag, I thought she was our.... oh shit, she's coming.... Hay US, how are you doing? I love what you've done with your hair, but no, seriously, how was your trip with UK to the middle east? Did you have a good time? Must run darling, *air kiss*, see you soon."

I thought it was really funny =(
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:12, Reply)

I did
I didn't know what it was about. I just read the newspaper and understood. I think it's very funny, Gonzo.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Whoever wrote the last episode of Dexter.
It was just *so* obvious they'd turn the bird he's been knocking around with into a love interest. Zzzzzzzzzzz.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Cancer joys other cat

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Ooof

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Sol Campbell, enraged by Barry from Eastenders hurtful comment to him earlier today, which totally really happened, might boot it (into touch).

(Cave Duck, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:02, Reply)

I find it strange you find it hard to believe someone would say something to a football player.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Because you're somebody off the internet
and therefore feeble, cowardly and a liar. Whereas Sol Campbell is a big, strong, intimidating football player and nobody would ever dare say anything to him.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Even though he's a big gay, Barry still didn't give him any lip

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:11, Reply)

This is true.
Although I'm not sure about intimidating - he was wearing knee high leather boots.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:12, Reply)

I find it strange that an offtopicer was outside his mums basement.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:10, Reply)

You have to remember that Barry is common as muck
and thus prone to such behaviour.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:09, Reply)

I really can't believe you would hope that the cat falls down between two fences and can't climb out...
... longing for the hypothermia to come so the sweet oblivion takes over before the hunger turns to pains and the pain of abandonment by god turns into acceptance of fait.

That when the winter thores and the british summer hits, the ice cube encased cat turns into a kabab and his children notice a smell that turns into a reek... leading to further investigation, with the result being a maggot filled carcus of a cat and a child's lost of innocence.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:11, Reply)

There's a guy on my street
that leaves his cat out overnight. Last night it got down to -4. I'm calling the RSPCA on him.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:15, Reply)

You bod, dobbing him in, you'd get bare beats for that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:20, Reply)

I am chipper now that the heating has been restored.
Therefore, everyone has a stay of execution for now.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 29 Nov 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I'm chipper too
they got us a portable heating fan thingy, and temperature has just reached 16.5C

I'm going home in 3h too.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:22, Reply)

The Scissor Sisters
and that chap from Razorlight.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Excellent choices.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:32, Reply)

myself
i just managed to "reply to all" instead of "reply". so now the whole of my department knows my choices for the departmental christmas lunch and got to read my witticisms about them.

they were not very witty.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:10, Reply)

So what are you having?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:11, Reply)

goats cheese and wild mushroom mille-something
and a herb pancake with vegetables and tomato sauce. and chocolate cheesecake, but i won't eat that. in fact, i intend to be so smashed that i won't be eating any of it.

everyone else seems to be having something horrible involving duck. there is also bacon and lancashire cheese marauding around as well as the usual roast suspects.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:13, Reply)

And just how did you manage to turn your order into an e-mail of immense amusement?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:14, Reply)

well i didn't
therein lies the problem. nobody will have read it anyway, i'm pretty sure of that!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:16, Reply)

So
You don't really need to die just now, do you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:18, Reply)

well
it would mean i don't have to deal with all the work on my desk!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:21, Reply)

You can fake a cold
or take holidays and actually take them, you know? like in not working take them.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:25, Reply)

oooh no, i'm far too anal for that!
i hate having to hand my files to anyone else! i'll just have to MTFU and crack on with it...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Somebody ought to write a soap opera
about you.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:11, Reply)

me
am collecting disastrous stories of friends and FOAFs with intention of turning same into best-selling "fictitious" diary and film franchise or similar.

oh wait. been done?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Make sure to include a HILARIOUS love triangle
involving you, the hapless, insecure and somewhat clumsy, yet endearing heroine, the nice but shy guy who's too awkward to make a move and the rakish boss who makes you think he's a nice guy but is really a total dick.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:18, Reply)

And she should
write about her underwear all the time too.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:20, Reply)

i'll do it
me rite gud
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:15, Reply)

this sounds great, you're very funny
we will need to do some very in-depth interviewing though, i'll need to check out your technique.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:23, Reply)

You're so agressive
I don't want anyone to die. Well, anyone is especial, of course people has to die,otherwise it'd be impossible to live on this planet anymore, but I wouldn't want to have to choose one person to die.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:17, Reply)

I wouldn't want to have to choose one.
It'd be too difficult. I'd like a list I can just keep adding names to.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:19, Reply)

You're so nasty
Glad you don't rule the world.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:21, Reply)

One day, Aber, one day...
I should really get back to work on my Doomsday Device.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:33, Reply)

Knobheads

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:22, Reply)

What about flibberty-giberts?

(Cave Duck, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Ah no, they're ok

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Being the massive emo that I am
I'd have to say...... Chris Moyles, the fat fucking unfunny cunt.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:26, Reply)

I think everyone that doesn't fancy me should die.
Then me and the Asian Asda checkout guy who gave me the eye the other day can rule the world.
( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Was it from the packed lunch his Mum had made for him?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 29 Nov 2010, 16:43, Reply)

One of my mates,
so I can have a go on his girlfriend and then say "it's the grief dat did it"
(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Stalking Wiggy on FB doesn't make him your mate.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Ha ha, no not him
and we're totally mates after I let him know about the Haiku secrets.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:43, Reply)

I don't know about no Haiku secrets

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Ha ha, that was one of my better offtopic moments.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Well, I either know and have forgotten
Or am completely unaware. I do like Haikus though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:47, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post694220#post694236
(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Ah I remember
Mighty fine work too dude!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Iain Paisley

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:41, Reply)

The man's an entertainer, leave him alone

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:48, Reply)

nah it's his haircut I don't like

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I wouldn't wish you on Iain Paisley
was a favoured saying of my teachers at school. I must have been very irritating :(
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 12:56, Reply)