what a gift
my thoughtful great grandma thought it was a great idea to buy me chewing gum for my 12th birhtday. last minute obviously because she left the price on: 98p.
well my moment of revenge came wen she sat in a chair while my nan was cutting her hair. my nan went to the toilet an i grabbed the hair gel an gave her a mohican. funnily enuff i used to much an she had to have it cut out at the hair dressers. she also got a tub of hair gel with the 99p sticker on for xmas. to show what a thoughtful great grandchild i was an how i was willing to spend one more penny on her.
(torture bunny lives under the kitchen sink, Tue 3 Jan 2006, 20:35, Reply)

Not me but the twunt who gave me my present this year...
Not living in the same country as any of my family,I tend to grt only on present evry year.

This is at my mates birthday party where we do a secret santa. Everyone brings a present, they all get numbered, and you pull a number out of a hat.

I brought a very small remote controled mini, about an inch and a half long. Very cool.

What did I get, a carrier bag containing; Two disposible biros, a packet of tooth picks, some of those little cottem wool buds on sticks you clean your ears with, a brillo pad and a pritt stick.

What pissed me off was I pulled the number for the remote controled mini out the hat, but they wouldn't let me have as it was my present.

ARSE
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Tue 3 Jan 2006, 20:02, Reply)

No Panic
Just done my xmas shopping, no panicing come christmas for me
(loquis, Tue 3 Jan 2006, 17:20, Reply)

Paniiiic
once missed out on what promised to be a hot nookie session due to lack of fucksocks. Next day, stocked up on Durex. Didnt get any for another 11 months. ARSE!
( Ralph farts in your general direction, Tue 3 Jan 2006, 16:03, Reply)

Desperation?
I bought this girl I like one of these, thinking I was being cute.



She burned my house down! :-(
(Minty Hit, Tue 3 Jan 2006, 15:06, Reply)

looking as if in sheer panic and desperation
(but actually rather bladdered) myself and the hottest girlie in the office asked the Audi dealer opposite the Ritz if I could order an A8 in pink in time for christmas.
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Tue 3 Jan 2006, 14:21, Reply)

Hob Nobs
I went out for some biscuits earlier and ended up buying 30 quids worth of hardcore porn and a melon.

Buggery has ensued.
(Formaly Over say's hello, Tue 3 Jan 2006, 13:51, Reply)

Not so panic buying
My Gran (bless her) suffered a stroke a while ago, and consequently can't see/hear/walk/write properly, and she sounds like she's pissed all the time (we relate to each other much better these days). She still manages to come out with some pearler lines (I think one of the best was "I don't get out much anymore.... but I do open all the windows").

The most technologicaly advanced piece of equipment she's ever used is a 1972 Vaxhall Cavalier (baby turd brown in colour). Needless to say I was a little suprised when I received a webcam/camera thing from her from christmas (everyone else got mail order hot waterbottles). After unwrapping it I said thanks and asked her how come she had bought me a webcam. She looked at me, taped the box, and whilst still maintaining eye contact said, "Free gift".

Oh, cheers gran.

When my uncle left on Boxing day he said bye to gran (his mum), her response was "Nice to see you... for a bit"
(ralphseviltwin, Tue 3 Jan 2006, 13:14, Reply)

Blue Peter have nothing on me.
Not so much bought, as lovingly crafted ten mins before the gift I forgot to buy is due to be given to my grandad's third wife (he's an octogenarian love machine).

With the speed of a ninja, I gathered:
1. some shiny, cheap satin type material
2. some string
3. some pot-pourri from the jar on the toilet cistern.
4. scissors

Armed with this incredible gift-making arsenal, I set to work. Presto! We now have a tiny draw-string bag, full of pot-pourri. You know, a smelly bag that sits there, smells nice and keeps your underwear drawer smelling fresh, or something. Very nice, I thought. Just the sort of thing old women love.

It all went a bit wrong when, misunderstanding the nature of this amazing gift, Granny mark 3 undid the string holding the bag shut. Pot-pourri went everywhere. Senile old cow.

Next year she retaliated by buying me a brown leather bicycle seat. No, I don't own a bike.
(oranguturn, Tue 3 Jan 2006, 13:09, Reply)

I Panicked...

and bought loads of stuff for myself...

Bugger!
(Minty Hit, Tue 3 Jan 2006, 11:53, Reply)

Oh no.
Morning after pill for the girlfriend.

Enough said.
(Kaer, Tue 3 Jan 2006, 6:50, Reply)

I went and bought 120 choc ices,
Seemed like a good idea at the time... Bit of a let down when i realised i didnt have a freezer... ate all of them between 4 of us before they melted.. also seemed like a good idea.. Thats about it really... Thanks for listening..
( [DTMX] Fishing hook, Mon 2 Jan 2006, 19:18, Reply)

cheese
i got some freebie cheese rolls like round cheese ... that day was spent throwing them down hills and chasing them but i gave one tyo my dad for chrimbo lol
(neorockz :), Mon 2 Jan 2006, 17:27, Reply)

Most years I manage to buy presents well in advance.
This year, however, I had absolutely no idea what to buy my parents, and still had nothing on the 23rd. To make things much worse, though, that night I had gone to a friend's Christmas bash, starting drinking about 7pm, then gone out clubbing with another set of friends with the usual excessive intake of spirits, and finally, about 2am, taken up a kind offer to go back to their house for more booze and smoke from a well known plant. After another pint of whiskey and coke and a couple of joints, I went to sleep about 6am, only to get up again at 11.

Thus it was that I ended up wandering around town for several hours, still quite drunk and stoned, not to mention very tired, desperately trying to work out what to buy as presents. I must have visited every major shop in town about 4 times just to stand there looking dazed without buying anything. In the end I bought Fruit Allsorts (her favourite sweets) and a book on computers (I am always being asked for help with them) for my mum, and a book on the universe with lots of cool pictures of nebulas and things for my dad.

I think that was quite a success.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 2 Jan 2006, 16:55, Reply)

My Friend's Birthday
He was very happy to recieve:
2 doorstops
a marrow
some sugar puffs
2 replacement sink plugs
the offer of sex (refused)
but then neither of us are homosexual.
( Didyoumissme1, Mon 2 Jan 2006, 13:41, Reply)

this question
was it a bit of a last minute rush off job?
(scumbum, Mon 2 Jan 2006, 2:57, Reply)

the joys of poundland
me and sum friends went in poundland 5 minutes before they shut to get as many plastic weapons as we cud. it had suddenly dawned on us that we needed to defend ourselves against the street cleaners.

*shudders thinkin of the times the bastards nearly ran me over*
(torture bunny lives under the kitchen sink, Sun 1 Jan 2006, 23:01, Reply)

I was drunk, and I needed a prezzie for my mum.
A $100 note. For $500.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Sun 1 Jan 2006, 16:45, Reply)

I got so panicked
that I bought a new Question of the Week.





D'oh...
( The Helpful Bear, Sun 1 Jan 2006, 11:51, Reply)

Another last-minute gas station gift...
When I was 15 or so, I bought my mother a cheap magazine full of gay porn stories.

I think she still has it.
( Rob T Firefly talked, like, William Shatner, on, Sun 1 Jan 2006, 3:42, Reply)

It wasn't me
But my mum went out on Christmas Eve and in the pub she was in a guy came in and showed off a card he had just bought his wife. Somehow the card got passed around and signed by many. I just wish I could find out the reaction of his wife.

Something I did. I bought chocolates for my mum on Mother's Day. Her favourite chocolates... somehow that was apparently wrong and she still brings up that. I have been told by her I should never buy a woman just chocolates. I know plenty of women who'd be happy with just chocolates.
(Bretty, Sat 31 Dec 2005, 18:59, Reply)

i bought £89 worth of naff gifts from a petrol station.

hardly anything had a proper bar code so the sole attendant had to punch and then re-punch everything in by hand whilst the queue grew to about ten people behind me all huffing and puffing.

i turned to give them an exasperated look only to find the biggest skinhead in the world behind me (complete with tats)

and what did i get in return? a solitary cup with some hot chocolate powder and three chocolates to boot.
(Nobody Likes Mortal Wombat, Sat 31 Dec 2005, 18:43, Reply)

oohh err a bit eh
don't want to start a last post race or anything childish like that, but

LAST POST BEFORE I BUGGER OFF TO GET WASTED

harrr. you're lovin' it really.

/threadwaste
(Balue Free From Tetanus, Sat 31 Dec 2005, 17:57, Reply)

Late xmas present
I'm meeting a friend later who i haven't seen in a while. I got a present from her a couple of weeks ago for xmas. I still haven't got her anything. Think I'll surf for a bit, have a wee sleep then go out and panic buy some bullshit present later. I'm a great friend.
(Scoopfoot loves lamp, Sat 31 Dec 2005, 12:29, Reply)

Oops
I once spent £29 million on Juan Sebastian Veron

Lots of love

Sir Alex Ferguson
(davefromkent, Sat 31 Dec 2005, 10:15, Reply)

Perfect in the morning..
FOUR EXTRA-WIDE SLOTS work in concert with self-adjusting grips to center bread for precise, double-sided toasting.

CANCEL, DEFROST & BAGEL SETTINGS allow you to customize the toasting process.

RETRO STYLED TOASTER beautifully accents any kitchen decor.

ELECTRONIC TEMPERATURE SENSOR Advanced electronic sensor monitors the temperature and adjusts toast timing according to internal temperature of the toaster, so you get consistent toasting results batch after batch.

EASY-TO-READ THERMOSTAT CONTROL WITH 6 SETTINGS let you toast to perfection.

CRUMB TRAY slides out easily (and is dishwasher safe) to make cleaning a breeze.

EXTRA-HIGH LIFT LEVER makes removal of food easy and safe.


Yes... I bought the wife a toaster!

(seemed like a good idea at the time)
( mikenco, Sat 31 Dec 2005, 0:35, Reply)

This year
I work far too much. I'm a theatre techie. Christmas for most other people means panto season for us, and a hell of a lot of work. 90 hour weeks and whatnot.

The shows finish at 1655 and the shops shut five minutes later. So, I have this plan. Give the girlfriend £200 and tell her to buy all of the gifts and cards for my family.

Genius!

So, Christmas morning, everyone is opening their presents.

You know what's coming, don't you?

She's still quietly fuming about it.

Bugger.
( shadyron, Fri 30 Dec 2005, 23:28, Reply)

Chinese Food
Well tis was ma sisters 22nd on d 22nd dec n i completely forgot n hr b4 ma sister is due home from work my mum asked me what i had brought her and from there the panic started what did i do in the end?? Took her 2 a chinese restaurant n the wonderful chinese owners sung her happy birthday !!
Shit story but ohh well .... HAppy NEw Year for 2mo BEtans!!
(Fluent In Bentish Living in Scatman's World, tis being fun!, Fri 30 Dec 2005, 22:49, Reply)

PS Hemel on FIRE
Not panic, but correct judgment.

Upon Leaving Herts for the Tyne this Chrimble eve I had 'pre-planned' my petrol purchase.

Upon Leaving, and indead, returning, forcourts were displaying signes such as 'No Unleaded, but shop open'.

Poor bastards who headed official advice and DIDN'T panic buy for their long chrimble jaunts.

Ha!

PS (I have recently watched 'Threads' so I know the signs)
( zacherynuk @echo off, Fri 30 Dec 2005, 22:35, Reply)

Beef
This is actually quite a difficult one. Not many people, especially men, would admit to being in panic...

Anyhoo... More of an anti-panic, Ie taking advantage of people NOT buying....

At Uni, money and food was short. Very short. We used to wash tesco 19p for 20 burgers under hot water in order to make a spag bogy source with ketchup.

Then came BSE. Hoorah! for weeks on end we would buy the poor butchers stock for next to nothing late on a Saturday night. Scared that next week it may not be as cheap. We're talking 3 trays of 12 steaks for £7 here. Including the tray. Magical times for students.

The result, freezers full of panic bought Beef steak.

Steak on toast for Breakfast.
Steak Sandwiches for Lunch.
Just Steak for Dinner.

I hated steak. Until I discovered 'Chum' curry...
( zacherynuk @echo off, Fri 30 Dec 2005, 22:19, Reply)