Pet PeevesWhat makes you angry? Get it off your chest so we can laugh at your impotent rage.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 1 May 2008, 23:12)
This question is now closed.
Fundamentalist ChristiansOnes who will ask my opinion on evolution, then tell me I'm BLATANTLY wrong because.. [then go on to state the bible as fact]. They go on to tell me I'm going to a hell that I don't believe in because I'm not worshiping God. They tell me years and years of scientific research is done 'purely to spite Christians', even though it's because people want to take their mind OUT OF THAT LITTLE BIBLE-SHAPED BOX and learn what happened in this world.
And the killer 'question'* they ask regarding scientific belief in evolution: If we descended from apes, then why are apes still around?
Here's the answer: Nobody said we descended from apes. They're saying that we descended from the same ancestors from apes.
Due to my non-belief in Christianity, I get these sorts of questions a lot. It's not questions that bug me, it's the CONSTANTLY denying any point I make, regarding it as 'Satanic' drivel, and that I'll never pass 'Judgement day'.
*seethes*
* See 'make it look like a question so they can rant about how I'm wrong some more'
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Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 3 May 2008, 13:36,
4 replies)
Wiggers..
You're not black and you'll never be black. And, for fucks sake, talk English - not the pseudo-American slang you've picked up from Fiddy Cent (and I was one of the guys who showered that waste of DNA with piss at the V festival).
I mean, do really expect me to take you seriously when you threaten to:
"Pop a cap in my ass"
Do you know what goes through my minds eye when I hear that phrase? I see someone trying to bend me over and stuffing a Yorkshireman's flat cap up my arse.
Fuck off.
Cheers
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Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sat 3 May 2008, 13:21,
7 replies)
Customers1. "My computer friend tried to fix this and did what you just told me to do and it doesnt work".....Funny that cos when i frickin did it properly it works.
2. People who come in to ask my opinion then tell me I am wrong. You know the kind of smartarse who just wants an arguement on something techinical cos he has no friends to argue it with.
3. Being stopped by customers while OUT OF WORK doing my food shopping to answer questions on PC's. Happens at least 3 times every shopping trip. Yes i really do want to talk to you out of work....Yes i'd love to take up my own time to help with your problem that you probably wont even appreciate.
4.Supposed PC experts telling me I have sold them the wrong part when they either chose it without consultation or they have the right part and have no idea how to install it.
5." I bought this from you and can't get it to do something" Yes you bought it 3 years ago you freeloading piece of scum.
6. Chav scum that raids our bins for faulty or Out of warranty stock. Then try to return it to us for a warranty. Newsflash...you are on camera and no proof of purchase...genius
7.Tv programs that encourage people to haggle - Yes by all means haggle with me, cos i do enjoy it...but don't be bloody rude about it.
Wow..I could go on and on :) Such anger
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 12:59, 3 replies)
txtspkTitle says it all.
Its the only surefire way I'm aware of to accurately determine the IQ of someone without actually having to meet them.
And the reports that certain GCSE exam boards are considering allowing this 'natural evolution of the English language' to be used in English exams by illiterate children beggars belief.
Those graveyards housing the likes of Shakespeare, Chaucer, Caxton, Dickens et al must be vibrating with the amount of spinning going on approximately six feet beneath their verdant grounds...
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 12:53, 6 replies)
Snobby peopleLet me start by telling you I'm from Middlesbrough. As rough a town it is, you can guarantee that waiting for a bus/queuing up/sitting in a pub or club waiting for a friend won't be a lonely affair; there's always somebody who'll talk bollocks to you for the next 20 minutes. Which is a good thing 99% of the time.
I went into culture shock when I moved down south! The shitty looks, strained smiles and the sheer oddness when you speak to somebody is WOUNDING. I even get it sometimes in the PUB I work in.
What is wrong with these people? I love going up north where I can chat!
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Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 3 May 2008, 12:42,
2 replies)
Grrrr1. Dawdlers, esp. in airports, or those cretins who stand two abreast on a moving walkway, just pond-life
2. People who play music on their mobiles, sans headphones. I don't think that phone was designed to fit up your arse but if you carry on using it like that we may just find out
3. Happy hardcore / Max Power / boy racers. You need to die, now
4. Heat magazine. A magazine about cunts written by cunts for cunts. No-one in real life acutally cares about the thundering vortex of mind-numbing bullshit contained therein
5. Web 2.0 - you probably think Nathan Barley is someone to look up to. You must die.
6. Orange Marches. Knuckle dragging bigots who disrupt an otherwise normal day and spunk away council tax on their display of parochial idiocy. I could cheerfully watch them be burned alive
7. People who scramble for the queue at the airport, then stand like an idiot trying to ram their luggage into the overhead bin for ten minutes. Running onto the plane first doesn't make it fly faster you twat, and making everyone stand and wait while you crowbar whatever tat it is you've just bought into the rack marks you down as a grade A shitbag
and breath
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 12:36, 2 replies)
MeWhen I can't remember things I KNOW I know.
Like the name of that bloke who was in that film.
And where second gear is.
And what is nine times seven.
And where I put my keys.
And how to make guacamole.
And what to do in the event of a fire.
And how to tell when someone fancies you.
And when is the critical point to stop humming.
And when to put the gun down.
And so on.
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 12:13, 2 replies)
People who give out about foods and boozes being "full of chemicals."ALL FOOD AND BOOZE ARE MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF CHEMICALS.
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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sat 3 May 2008, 11:59,
2 replies)
I'm on a roll!People who dont have any faint inkling of their immediate surroundings, specifically people who walk into me turn the normally well-named Captain Placid into his alter ego - Tearingoutyourthroatandshittingdowntheresultinghole Man. How fucking ignorant of your own and other peoples' safety do you have to be to wander any city without knowing what's 2 feet in front of you for fuck's sake! The world is not a fluffy pink place, there are big metal bone-crunching machines on the roads, there are nasty bad people who will hurt you for money or, sometimes, just for fun. Look where the fuck you are going you wastes of DNA.
I'm a fairly large thing to walk into, pretty easy to spot. If I stand in a doorway there's less than 4" gap either side between my shoulders and the frame, I'm a wide unit.
I used to move out of the way of these people. Now I don't. I let them bump into me. If any of them so much as even looks like they are about to consider the merest faint trace of a possibilty of remonstrating with me for their own fucking stupidity, I make eye contact, bare my teeth and say in a an almost subsonic growl "MOVE, YOU CRETIN".
They move.
No apologies for girth, I love to see you wince!
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 11:49, Reply)
Stella ArtoisWifebeater.
Over-priced, chemical-filled, watery urine of a syphilitic dog.
I'd actually got some in for a guest a while back, and decided to give it a try. You never know, it might just be my addled memory that made my shy away like a frightened horse when someone offered me the stuff.
Utter, utter bilgewater. My own urine has a more impressive head than this stuff, and probably tastes better.
And it is/was marketed to the hard of thinking as 'reassuringly expensive'. Cretins.
It's yellow chemical water.
Drink real beer (not just ale, there are some good lagers even though I am reluctant to admit it) or sod off back to the alco-pops or insanity-strength cider.
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 11:49, 1 reply)
"Wow, this humourous website has a Question of the Week section!""Where users are encouraged to share their real-life stories and experiences about a given topic with each other...This will be the perfect place to post my surreal, sub-GCSE creative writing standard, psuedo-porn stories!"
Twats.
Oh, and the word "ickle". Anyone who thinks that by using it they sound cute is a fucking cunt.
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emvee cruor deo cruoris, Sat 3 May 2008, 11:46,
Reply)
A new one!The voting public of the overpriced, impersonal, scum-ridden shitehole that is our fair capital.
YOU VOTED AND GOT BORIS JOHNSON AS MAYOR.
What the holy fuck were you thinking!?
As I detest London and all it stands for, maybe you deserve this cretin.
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 11:27, 6 replies)
ooooh they're flying out of the woodwork now...after discussing this QOTW with a friend it occured to me that there are hundreds of insignificant things i can't stand.
1. people giving food affectionate nicknames e.g 'choccy biccy'- this makes me want to commit some kind of violence. IT'S JUST FOOD. It's an inanimate object EAT TO LIVE NOT LIVE TO EAT. Fuck.
2. the noises people make when they eat (yeah yeah, eating disorder blah blah)- urrrrrrrrrgd;fvn;ejvbpekbvpbvpv. It has made my physically sick before, just having to hear people eat. It's the single most revolting, stomach churning, soul destroying noise in the history of noises and will likely result in my running away screaming.
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 11:24, Reply)
And againI don't eat sauces. You know, the various bottled brown/red/white shite that idiots keep pressing on me.
I do NOT eat mayonnaise/salad cream/other crap in a sandwich. Have you ever tried to find a supermarket or service station sandwich WITHOUT this abomination on it? It's impossible I tells ya!
Once went to a Tsecos (name changed to protect the mongoloid manager) where I looked at every sandwich that they had on show in a 10 metre by 2 metre display and they all had some form of slime on them. The manager of the Ryoston Tsecos (name changed and all that)then proceeded to attempt to convince me that "coleslaw has no sauces on it".
Cnut.
Just don't get me started on service stations.
No, really. Just don't.
We should all remember that mayonnaise is French and therefore made by unhygienic frog-and-snail-eating swarthy gitane-smoking cheese-eating surrender monkeys.
No offence
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 11:15, 5 replies)
I warned you! More pearoasting from the fluffy Captain.R and frickin B
One pretty, underdressed, nasally whining bint with a passable voice, terminally unable to use one pure note when she can ram forty-seven in the same space. Then we get to the male part. What the holy jamstranglingbastardfuck is HIS raison d'etre? Monotonally slurring through some "gangsta" bollocks while swaying, grabbing his crotch and waving his arm like a shit-flinging simian.
And don't get me started on "Fiddy cent". Just don't.
I vote we make a thread where anyone retarded enough to attempt to justify this assault on all that is music can do so.
Then we go round and sterilise them.
Vote for me!
I'm a nice guy really.
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 11:11, 3 replies)
Pearoasts a gogo!Chavs
Why the fuck are they even allowed to breathe?
DNA test them, ID chip them and barcode them. Release into the wild and then, when a worthwhile citizen needs an organ with that particular profile, round up and cull! Harvest the organs and whatever else is useful then cremate.
This would cause a couple of beneficial side-effects.
1/ The convicted chav would then be under a suspended death sentence if they stayed in the country, therefore they'll leave.
2/ Those that are too thick/feckless to leave will be a resource for reducing the transplant waiting list.
3/ Hopefully the ones that leave will go to France and piss off the French!
As I see it, a plan with no drawbacks.
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 11:09, 2 replies)
I wrote this some time ago,after a particularly nasty day at work. It's long, and quite ranty, so fair play if you stick with it. I work at a bookies, not so sure if I should put the name; so it will go under the indecipherable moniker of "Sid James". I'm sure you can work it out.
Those who know me will be unsurprised to learn that working at Sid James comes with a complete deck of annoyances and frustrations, tempered somewhat by my gambling keenos. Sadly, this is not enough to restrain me from my written purge, my frustration boiling to a zenith like a rutting stag at the height of mating season. Hopefully this will give you hoo-mans a little insight into the world of a Sid James gamble monkey. Having said that, sensible people should probably stop reading now; if you're into your bitter, hate filled diatribes, crack on!
For clarities sake, I am only dealing with the call aspect, dispensing with the minor irritations that are standard in offices up and down the country on this occasion. Brilliant isn't it. Also, I'm employing a first-person technique in writing, it's not a personal affront to you the reader, unless you the reader are in fact a Sid James punter. In which case I hate you.
1. Opening the Call
a) OK, best not to start with the opening gambits of "d'you want my account number?" - no I'd like to fucking guess it sir - or "can I have a bet please?" - It's. A. Betline. See, the answers I really want to give to both questions are invariably "no", so just give me your account number and let's get this over with.
b) You also don't need to leave pauses when giving your six digit account number. I can handle it all in a row, I really can.
c) Shockingly enough, I need the account information before I can place the bet. Don't come on after the off, trying to spit out the bet, and getting angry when I ask for your name. It's your own fault you missed it, you lazy ignorant cunt.
d) Don't be eating, going to the toilet, stood next to a pub jukebox, or chatting to your similarly idiotic friend when calling. Oh and going "Oh you want the account number? Hang on I'll just get my card" will make my heart hurt. Preperation is the buzzword here, more on this later.
e) An isolated incident, but noteworthy nonetheless - when the call starts with a computer generated message, wittering on about legal matters, we tend to hang up. This is what you get when you try and get a bet on from jail.
2. Right, We're In
a) Oh where to start. This is where things go seriously wrong. For starters, don't cut me off during my "hello Mr Urwelluncool, what can I do for you" - can't you see I'm being courteous, you fucker.
b) At this point, don't wander off for a conversation with your friend/partner/child. It's crucial we talk, so the important business of betting happens.
c) Now I can't stress this one enough - have some idea of what your bet is before you ring up. You don't walk into a betting shop, wandering around asking people what to throw your money at, do you. Do you? Spending hours trawling through Lithuanian table tennis prices just so you can find some streaky 2/7 shot makes me cry blood tears.
d) Shouty calls are great. If there's one thing I love, its repeating every word I say simply because you can't be arsed to leave the pub. Similarly it's brilliant fun when you whisper, due to fear of reprisal from wife/boss/Allah. And that baby I can hear crying in the background? Tend to it, feed it, love and cherish it...don't spunk it's college fund on crap bets.
3. Bad Bets
a) Too many years gambling, and too long working here, has made me quite snobbish about certain bets. There are a few specifics which I will mention later, but for now, a quick rundown on some of my favourite crap bets. Oooh it's like the chart show isn't it.
- Betting less than a fiver on an odds on shot. Get away from me you gypo, quite frankly.
- Placepots in which you pick every bloody horse running, for 5p stakes.
- Through-the-card forecasts on the dogs. I mean, what leads you to believe trap 1 will beat trap 2 in every. single. race? If you hate money that much, give it to charity.
b) Let me explain the concept of each way betting. It is a bet of two parts - one bet on the win, the other on the place - and is used to back long odds, which you think have a good chance of placing, with the possibility of a big payout if the selection manages to win. Place terms are generally a fifth of the odds for the top 3, or maybe quarter top 4. To put it simply, you have to have a fairly rampant streak of weakness to go each way on anything below a 5/1 (you're losing money for the place bet see?). But insinuations like that have never stopped a Stan James punter yet - each way on a 4/7 shot being the worst I've seen. Man up for the win goddam!
c) But it seems it's really hard to go for the win. Maybe it's our fault; perhaps we offer too much that lets you get away from the whole pesky business of actually trying to work out the winner of any given event. Every footie game, for instance, brings with it a whole cavalcade of useless, weak, trivial bets for the discerning idiot. Under/over corners, goals, bookings, shirt numbers - all pathetic, all guaranteed to be on the "over" side. Can you tell me sir, what is it about these teams that make you so sure of 5 first half corners in the match? Just WHAT are you basing that on?
d) I'll lump the rest all in together, as they all tend to come from a very distinct type of customer - the ones we make all the money off. A1 is what we call them, a cunning alias for people who suck at the gamble. If you do any of the following - back the next fav off without even knowing what it is, when it's off, what sport it's even in // ask for what's "in-running" due to the urgent need of betting on something RIGHT NOW // ask for the score, get told to ring the results line, then go "ahh sod it, i'll just have £500 on the short price" - I will instantly want to ritually slaughter your first born.
4. Things I Don't Need To Know
a) I just need the name of the horse. Dear God. We have this cracking little index thing that means I can just type the fucker in, and everything magically happens. I don't need to know where it's running, who the jockey is, the trainer, what price it was this morning, how it did when it ran out last saturday, what ground it prefers...you might as well tell me it's birth mother and date of conception.
b) Personal facts. I don't wanna hear about your life as an accountant for the largest Kellog import/export depot in Europe, about your theory on gay people, wether you've recently shagged a prostitute, or the death of all your close family, or how that recent trip to the hospital went (various - you'd be surprised how often you get this).
c) Anything else but the bet really. When I give you a price, and you say "but Ladbrokes are doing 3/1!!", what exactly d'you want me to say? Good for them sir? Just have a bet, or fuck off, is the rule I'm implying. Also, your opinions on prices/markets/anything else? Quite useless. AND if I say something, it's right. If you don't agree, you're wrong. In todays crazy world, it's nice to see a pure black/white fact.
5. Almost Home
a) OK, almost there, but not quite. One of the most crucial parts of the call is about to happen - reading the bet back, and calling "bet's on". I have to do this. I don't wanna, but I must. So don't talk over the top of me. Don't talk to someone else as I do this, then ask what the bet was again. Don't allow me to go all the way through, dial for the money, strike the bet, then go "errr, actually i wanted it like this". Just be cool.
b) When I say "anything else" that's your cue to get involved, should you want anymore gamble. When you wait until I finish the bet and go "oh there was something else", my teeth actually curl back on themselves, and reroot into my gums, and blood froths from my mouth. It's a terrible sight.
c) DONT HANG UP ON ME. NOT WHEN IM READING THE BET BACK, NOT AFTER I GIVE YOU A PRICE YOU DONT LIKE, NOT AS IM DIALLING THROUGH, NOT AFTER IVE TAKEN THE FUCKING TIME TO PUT YOUR SHIT FUCKING BET ON YOU FUCK ARGJRHG DONT HANGUPVP;]ORGRSLSR DONT. SKUDHG[#KJBZE DONTFUCK INHG]DHANG UP CUNTSKU,.;AB;EFKEW. #]. Don't do it.
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 10:55, 1 reply)
Text messages"I got this text from so-and-so..."
For FUCKS sake! When will Europe get into the 21st Century and use e-mail on mobile phones!? "Text" sounds SO fucking GAY!
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 10:50, 2 replies)
One I've not seen yetSo you're in a shop, walking up an aisle to get to another product of fantastical goodness. There's somebody looking at the aisle to your left and in order to view the full range of fantastical goodness on offer they're standing...right up against the aisle on your right. So to get to the fantastical goodness that you want you have to walk between them and the products, invariably producing a "tut" of disappointment from them.
WHY?!?
If you want to look at the products, stand closer to them and move your body up and down! You'll find it easier to view detail that way as well and you'll get less annoyed by people having the temerity to walk through your vision to go about their everyday business!
Is this QOTW making anyone else boil with rage too?
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 10:31, Reply)
People who misquote my jokes.And then tell me I'm wrong when I correct them.
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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sat 3 May 2008, 10:28,
Reply)
Ban Theft AutoRight. This annoys me more than anything.
We see the stories in the papers about violent video games being harmful. I mean, Manhunt 2 was banned in the U.K (last I heard)and everytime they go to release a GTA game there's uproar from politicians, lawyers and general twunt-flaps.
But why? Because they influence violence.
WTF? How is that possible? Have you ever seen Saw?
Not that there's anything wrong with any of the Saw movies. Neither is there anything wrong with any of the GTA games. Or any other violent games for that matter. The problem with people these days is if you picked up a gun and shot someone, you would probably get let off lightly and the gaming industry blamed.
I've played GTA from the 1st game, and however tempted I've been sometimes I have never run over anyone or shot them another nostril.
I have watched the Saw movies and never tried to stick razor blades through people's throats.
But people want to ban the violent games. Why? 'Because a movie is made by people for viewers to watch. It is totally fictional. However, in a video game the player is a catalyst in what happens on screen.'
Bullshit! This isn't some fanboy post I can assure you. The point I'm getting at is the world is getting too PC.
Politicians should be banned. Overbearing PC twunts should be banned. People should be free to make their own decisions. If someone does emulate a game or movie in real life then let the penalties fall on them and not the gaming industry. All they do is make things for our snjoyment. And I enjoy playing games.
If people think that I have no life and spend all day playing games, then you got me totally wrong. I have children and a loving fiancee who I spend most of my time with. Films and games are little time wasters to me. Something to fill the boredom gap.
The world is getting too strict. One day, we probably won't be able to fart in case we offend someone.
Kids can't play conkers anymore because of the PC brigade.
Chav schoolgirls can't wear crosses to school anymore in case they offend someone of a different religion. When this person of another religion is wearing a burkha. (I'm not racist. I will gladly live freely with all races. But not when people start stomping over our beliefs and our whole system).
So here's the message...let games be made and sold freely. Stick an 18 rating on it. If a mother or father wants to buy it for their 10 year old kid then that's their choice.
Rant over.
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sausagesucker just paid £5.00 for a cup of Tea!, Sat 3 May 2008, 10:27,
4 replies)
Oh god, so much- Misuse of apostrophes - a common peeve I see!
- Cold callers who come to the door while I'm eating and don't get the hint that I want them to leave, even though I'm holding the snarling dog back by no more than my little finger...
- Cold callers on the phone who ignore the fact I'm registered with TPS. Especially the one that called the other night (at half past nine) and said they were exempt from TPS because they were a charity - newsflash morons, you're not.
- Anybody who calls me and then hangs up as soon as I answer the phone
- People who walk their dogs without a lead. Fine when the dog is well trained, but when it comes over and attacks my dogs and you just stand there saying 'oh he's really friendly, he won't hurt them', I'm vaguely tempted to let yours kill mine just so I can sue your arse off.
- TINY women driving MASSIVE behemoth 4x4s in the city centre who take 75 goes to get their STUPID car into a standard parking space, thus grinding the whole car park to a halt
- Not-disabled people parking in disabled spots
- Disgusting teenage boys who wear their trouser waistline somewhere south of their ankles showing off their grubby boxers
- Boy racers
And the big one:
- PNS Syndrome (Yes, it's called that on purpose). For those who don't know, this is 'Pin Number Syndrome (Syndrome)' - also referred to as RAS Syndrome (Redundant Acronym Syndrome Syndrome). It is NOT a PIN Number, it is a PIN, or (almost acceptably) a PIN code. PIN stands for Personal Identification Number, so saying NUMBER after it means you're being tautological. Other examples:
--On Robot Wars the other night - SRIMECH mechanism
--AIDS Syndrome
--HIV Virus
--ATM Machine
--ISBN Number
--Please RSVP
--DVD disc
--CSS style sheets
--RAC Club
--LCD Display
--LED light
--VDU unit
JUST STOP IT - I will start killing people
*breathes*
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 10:20, 5 replies)
HalfwitsI hate stupidity.
I understand that we will all suffer from temporary bouts of this once in a while.
Today's example:-
People that stand in doorways.
Go through or don't go through. If you are lost or confused take three paces and get out of everyone else's way.
Similarly, lifts and tube trains when no one realises the wisdom of letting people exit before trying to enter.
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 10:05, Reply)
Old peopleDriving slowly and Erratically in cars. This is particularly annoying cos i always end up stuck behind the coffin dodgers. You know the type. The old bloke in his 10 year old Rover 300 in pristine condition cos it only gets taken out once a month on a Sunday. Or the old dear in a Fiat Panda and a crocheted bobble hat. Both of them puttering aimlessly around town oblivious to the queues of people behind them who actually have somewhere to go or who just want to complete their journey before the sun burns out.I think driving retests should be compulsory when you hit 60 years old to ensure you're actually up to driving above 20 miles an hour on modern roads. This would come as a shock to most of the oxygen theifs, i know since most of them passed their test in a Sherman tank or got their license free in a packet of cornflakes.
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 9:15, Reply)
Punctuation, and other things1) Multiple exclamation marks. As Douglas Adams said, they are clearly the work of a diseased mind.
2) Misuse of the apostrophe. There is no excuse.
3) Misuse of pronouns. You like "them shoes", do you? Do you really? Try 'those'.
And, in a wholly unrelated peeve, if anyone moves my games, records, DVDs, or CDs so that they're no longer in alphabetical order, I simply cannot leave until it's been corrected.
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 8:01, 3 replies)
Pet Peeves.I intensely dislike bad Grammar and Spelling. I can understand if English is not your first language but for FUCK'S SAKE, people, if your first language is English then you have no excuse not to be able to type and talk like a proper, well educated human being.
I also dislike Liars, backstabbers, twunts, and people who cannot drive. I am a learner, and while I make mistakes, I HAVE BEEN DRIVING FOR A GRAND TOTAL OF TWO MONTHS!!!! People who are quite clearly established drivers and are in their later 20's and older can't really expect me to be uber driver.
Today I nearly crashed the blooming car because the twunt next to me shot out in front of me and then SLOWED DOWN. Stalled my car in the middle of the highway trying not to hit the fucking ute with the ladder out the end, was shouted at by my mum and burst into tears of fright. Stupid fucking drivers are twunts!
I also dislike people who are rude without reason. We all deserve to be treated equally don't we? So the stupid effing chavs and tarts should stop pretending they have a silver spoon up their arses.
Oh I'm all of a bother and flutter now. I'm so annoyed.
EDIT: I realise I sound like a stupid Chav. Please forgive me. I'm still shaking from the near death driving experience and am thus filled with "Impotent rage".
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 6:48, Reply)
Myself hates thisOver the last few years, it has become popular to say "myself" instead of "me", as if it makes whatever one is saying more formal. It just makes the person sound like a boob.
For example, Star War II was diminished for me, because Obi-wan tells Anakin, "Don't take any action until you hear either from the council or myself." Aaarrghh!!! Obi-wan is supposed to be a wise Jedi. Here, he sounds like a mis-educated mid-level government official trying and failing to sound intelligent.
It starting bothering me to the point that I would write to publications that perpetuated this mistake, but I gave up after a while. It just became overwhelming. I just hope this fad will pass, and this illogical use of the reflexive pronoun will not become accepted usage.
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 5:49, 2 replies)
This is pretty fucking peevy.This morning I paid £1.10 a litre for petrol.
Here's what really "grinds my gears,"
Take away VAT at 17.5% and we have 93.6 pence a litre.
Take away Fuel Oil Duty at 53 pence a litre (wasn't it nice of the Chancellor to postpone the increase until October?)
And the price of petrol without tax is...
40.6 pence.
The Yanks (hi, guys!) are worried about hitting 5 Dollars a gallon. Two weeks ago the average price at the pump in America was $3.58 a gallon. That's 48 pence a litre. I am mildly annoyed.
Oh, and an aside: By 2010 the tax on my 7 seat Family Wagon will be £455. I don't drive it to show off my pay packet, or to compensate for a tiny cock (the three kids in the back are proof enough).
"Three children? Seven seats? Surely an extravagance!"
You find me a normal sized car that will fit myself, my wife and the kids in their LEGALLY REQUIRED CHILD SEATS. Oh, and there needs to be enough space that we can go on a long journey (Public Transport with children is not really all that feasible) without the youngest spilling Ribena on the oldest, who takes revenge by upending the whole bottle on bottle on both his brothers.
n.b. My wife doesn't legally require a child seat. She just likes it that way.
(, Sat 3 May 2008, 5:37, 3 replies)
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