Lairds
Someone bought me one of those Scottish "Laird of Camster" titles about 20 years ago and I remained, and will continue to remain, as common as muck and proud of it.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 11:00, Reply)

Family Ties
My mums uncle is a French-Maltese Baron. My great Great grandmother also concieved the illegitimate child of a lord in Scottland, and was married off to the gardener, the direct decendant of Rob Roy. His brother is also responsible for jumping ship and populating the island of Trista Laguna (not sure how it's spelt). My great uncle was in charge of the first cocaine bust in Australia, and his son is an Air traffic controler.

I think im pretty posh.
(GSM, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 10:55, Reply)

I'm so posh
that I use a knife & fork to eat my kebab.

And I have a bath once a month.

And my pet rottweiller is called Camilla.

And my seven children all live away from me (OK, at a borstal not a boarding school but it's a start).
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 10:54, Reply)

had a beer in bed last night

so I am a right posh bastard, brand name and everything.

but seriously, may dads mum was the daughter of a very wealthy industrialist from manchester back in the 1800's , I've been told they were blue of blood. She however fell for a cork man (southern ireland) during wartime and married the chap, my grandad who I never met. After the war (ww1) they left engerland for cobh in cork where she set him up with a camera / photography shop , this was in the early nineteen hundreds when such things were well posh. He being a card carrying paddy however drank the fucker dry and gave her a ton of offspring, all who did well enough in life.

my mams clan go back to the isle of mann and were somehow related to dan quails clan, not something to brag about I know but in the context I'll reveal.

and I work in a muppet farm of a factory but am only biding my time till my huge plans all come together . . . oh yes... so thats me a right posh cunt,

hung above average.

bring back the legless one.

get another one up stusz !
(The Cats Twat, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 10:27, Reply)

Fascist Family
I'm council-house filth, me, but I've encountered the nuevo-riche plenty in my time.

Few years ago when I lived in Wimbledon I had a mate called Charles Bertrum, which is an appalingly posh name and he came from a posh family, he was related to Oswald Mosely.

Nice bloke, I sometimes wonders what happened to him.
(skitster, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 10:21, Reply)

Shower Anyone ?
My mate from Beckenham, let call him Brad for the sake of argument and cos its his name, is not posh, not at all, is 6 foot somfink ,looks like an extra from Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and everything he says sounds like a threat. He also has a neck problem in that he has some fused vertibrae which mean he can't turn his head so turns his body..... he also has a liking for Mr J Daniels and has a penchance for stripping to the waist when bevvied up and walking up to strangers in the street, bending down so he is at face height and screaming "I'm a f*cking nutter" at them. Charming I'm sure you'll agree.....anyway, now you have an idea of the character....

Said friend was at a posh party (how he got invited I don't know, probably mistaken identity) and was generally being ignored by everyone because he hired his tux as opposed to had it hand sewn by blind Tibetan monks.... the only attention he seem to be able to attract was from the copius numbers of waiting staff who ensured his glass was never empty...... as the evening progressed he got steadily more unsteady and generally was determined to try and tale a few people out of their comfort zones. Wind on a bit to the small hours of the morning where most people were at "copping off" stage....... he spies a girl who looks very posh (well he said she looked a bit like a horse but the QOTW wasn't about people who looked like a horse so we are assuming here that people at posh party who look a bit horsey are probably posh) and she was clearly waiting for someone to return with a drink or from the bog or somewhere. Anyway, moving swiftly on, he decides to make his play, he swaggers up to her, actually he probably swayed up to her but swagger is a much better word, and decided his best opening chat up line was...."Hello Love, can I P*ss on your T*ts".... the reason why this story is, well to me anyway, so memorable is that she said in a cut glass accent "Yes, if you like".

We'll skip the whole relationship thing until a more relevant QOTW surfaces but as he has only tried said chat up line twice and has pulled once then in the words of Family Fortunes "We asked 100 posh birds if we could p*ss on their t*ts"...then my bet for top answer would be "Yes, if you like" at 50%.
( Spackweasel - because weasels get Downs Syndrome too, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 10:19, Reply)

omg right
like i speak propper english but i cant spell or use grammer or nuffin, and i wonce met a famus person! n i also got like a car and a house n everythin! and right, i've got this mate whos name sounds a bit posh but actully he's just a chav but ya never no! lolz! also i am the queen! well technically i just saw her when she visited my council estate but whatever!
hope i win!
( eponymous Oh!, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 10:06, Reply)

Thank you unlawful odour for the clarification!
So now I will say that...

Despite the fact that half of my family was, two generations ago, *gasp* Southern Baptist redneck hicks from Mississippi;

Despite the fact that my grandmother dropped out of school in the 8th grade to work in a tomato-canning plant to support the family;

Despite the fact that we once thought owning a 10-year-old, beat-to-shit BMW made us positively upper-crust;

I now declare myself, financially reformed*, to be posh because genealogy research has shown me to be a direct descendent of Sir James "the Black" Douglas. Hooray!

Funny, I knew the "port-out" acronym but the actually meaning seemed so fluid...

*i.e., no longer poor-as-shit
( madrabbit is fully prepared, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 10:01, Reply)

Shagged a posh bird once
So I must be posh...

Edit: actually more than once, and I still get the odd call up for duty - so I must be good AND posh. Can't tell you who she is - cos too many people from Leeds/Bradford would know her old man. He's minted from selling flash cars.

Edit #2 - and my Ma and Pa have been to a garden party at Buckingham Palace. Not bad given they're from Rotherham.

Edit # 3 - And my Pa is an International Master of Chess - 100% fact - he got his award a few weeks ago. He won a British championship in about 1984 so became British Master, then because he has been playing for England a bit has now got his International Master. And he drew against Nigel Short. Not especially posh but I'm extremely proud of him!
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 9:28, Reply)

Randomly Posh
I once went out with this girl whose family were so Posh they referred to each other by their middle names, rather than their given names.
I've no idea why, but it obviously seemed an amusing jape to them.
They also had a cat who was too lazy to use his catflap and you had to hold it open for him. Posh fluffy wanker.
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 8:59, Reply)

Not exactly posh,
But i was emailed a while ago by Mugambo Bianto from Nigeria. He wanted me to transport $2000000 American through my bank account and said that I was a descendant of his dead uncle.
(That guy with a hat., Fri 16 Sep 2005, 8:15, Reply)

Im not posh
But I once had a posh man in me...
( sheraloonytunes, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 8:07, Reply)

I am considerably posher than yow
My Mum's maiden name was Thynne. My Grandad was 2nd cousin to Alexander George Thynn (he dropped the "e" for some reason, the bloody hippie), who is the Marquess of Bath and owns Longleat. He's got lions and everything ! Yay !

We are also related to the Spencers......

See ? I am soooo posh !
( rabbitz, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 7:57, Reply)

nothing says posh like silly pants
over here in the great USofA i went to visit a freind at uni, and my first encounter with someone who you might label as posh was wearing pants in the cafeteria that had whale print on them. I laughed out loud and complimented him on his pajama pants and he gave me a weird look. Apparently nautical themed pants are considered high fashion and worn extensivly by the rich population over here (dunno the whale-panted situation over in the UK) and they're really feckin expensive. It still makes me laugh.
(wherethecheeseat, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 7:04, Reply)

polo and yachting
At my school Polo and yachting were sport options.
You had to have your own horse and yacht to participate.

I thought this was normal.
( hismastersvice cunting flange-jammer, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 6:47, Reply)

I'm not posh
My mum's a steelworker's daughter, my dad's an iranian immigrant - he's constantly on benefits. I was brought up on a council estate by my ma after my dad left for another woman (he finds monogamy difficult - he's done it again since) - we didn't have any carpets when we moved in, just newspaper, and the most sophisticated piece of technology we had was a black-and-white TV.

These days I'd have been known as chav scum.

I've never met posh people - I despise them.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 6:40, Reply)

Well, I'm not posh by any means
I'm from Hull for fucks sake! However, most people here in the States assume that I have had tea with the Queen, been out on the lash with Princess Di and was edumacated at Oxford or Cambridge.

Of course, I don't deny any of this ;)
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 6:17, Reply)

Mostly association
As far as that goes, I know the bass player for the late G.G. Allin; I'm friends with a former bouncer of several clubs in San Fransisco during the 70s and 80s(he sold drugs to all the rockstars); I'm friends with a female clothing model; Finally, I recently spent a day with the lead singer of one of my favourite bands(not well known, but good enough for me, dammit).

As for me, I'm a direct decendent of a couple old knights, Amelia Earhart and a certain infamous leader of the Nazi Party.

Personally though, I'm not posh at all. Most of my clothing was bought at op-shops, I'm the only person I know who doesn't have a mobile or an mp3 player, I work at a petrol station, I have a cousin named "Buckshot" and I'm still using dial-up...

*weeps*
(somethingwitty, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 5:10, Reply)

haha
I belong to a family of Oil Mogols in Canada. I grew up with a bedroom bigger than most people's entire houses. I speak proper english and I've known more CEOs that I'd rather not have. I grew up in the middle of the forest in Alberta and woke up with deer and moose and bears in my backyard. Posh? no. Malcontent? A little.

It's all relative I suppose. I've met some gross idiots with more money than they know what to do with and I've met some classy people living off the dole, so who's to say.
(niakis, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 4:52, Reply)

Saw her last saturday
...A good family friend of ours who is the aunt of Jenny McCarthy.

^_^
(Babbeyroad, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 3:54, Reply)

Do witches count as posh?
I am a direct descendant of the only man in Tennessee who was tried for witchcraft. He was acquitted* because the jury all turned into frogs.** Actually the judge laughed in his accuser's faces. Then he said "This is crap" and threw the case out of court.


*True
**not quite true

Anyway, watch out; don't tick me off!
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 3:44, Reply)

I used to be related to a retired Major
who wore a red coat for the Leciestershire hunt (The second most expensive hunt in England before they banned the lot), changed cars every other month and generaly spent shit loads of money that he didn't have. When my relative divorced him, he re-married. That wife decided to serve divorce papers on him the morning before a large dinner party at their place. During the party, she got jealous of him talking to another woman (despite the divorce she was asking for) and a big fight began. The Major went to the kitchen and came back with a knife. Someone took it from him. He went and got another and stabbed his wife three times. Someone then whacked him witha bottle of wine and took the knife. Our hero ran to the gun cupboard (collecting another knife on the way) and then returned to find that the party was attempting to leave. He went outside and slashed a few tyres before chasing people around with his trusty shotgun. He only fired it once (nobody knows if it really was up in the air as he claimed) before the cops arrived. Anyway, she survived and divorced him (I wonder what her grounds were?) and he managed to somehow avoid jail! It was all in the Daily Telegraph about a week later. So don't marry that bloke.
I also pissed in front of Prince Charlie at a polo match in Sydney when I was about two.
I'm also distantly related to someone who used to live here: www.xs4all.nl/~douven/inner.journey/images/stansted-hall.jpg
So there.
( The Togaboy The world will end on, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 2:31, Reply)

Im Posh As Fook
My auntie used to work with paul daniels (its magic) brother, martin daniels

and apparently im decended from the grand old duke of york (so my dad reckons). cause my last name is york, ho hum, u never know.


Ohg thats right, your mothers got a penis.

SAFE AS FOOK
(Geoff Leopard, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 2:05, Reply)

Poshness...
My fiancee's dads cousin is Lord Charles Brockett (posh fella who did Bad Lads Army) - I met him a while back at an obscure family members wedding.

Had a few drinks with him and had a chat - he's one hell of a drinker (offer him a Sherry and he'll be your best friend) and very funny too, told some good stories.

Totally unrelated, i've also met Toots (from Toots and the Maytals) [awesome bloke], Ulrika Johnson (when the -now closed down- T-Mobile shop in Southport opened) [didn't say much, but smiled way too often] and Ardal O'Hanlon [was very nice, down to earth guy]

Random but true.

Oh, and my mate Dave said he met Mr.T when he was little, but I don't believe him.
(tangentboy strikes again, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 1:28, Reply)

Why Am I Posh?!?
Heres A Few Reasons...

-I have 2 bathrooms in my house.

-My mother has 3 bathrooms in her £500k home in a posh part of Wakefield.

-I am an art student at the 3rd best art college in the UK. (Batley School Of Art&Design)

-My girlfriend is from one of the most senic towns in the UK. (Pickering)

-I am a MySpazz whore.

-Patrick Stuwart (Captain Pickard from Star Trek-Next Gen) went to the same school as me but not at the same time.

-I've had my own space in an art gallery.

-I have 2 lip peircings. (I just like telling people!)

-One of my best friends may soon be working for a games company, the same one that have just finished Crime Life (The game with D12 in it!) and also did some beta testing for them.

-I'm sure theres more, will post if i think of them! But i hope i win! ^_^
(mufin_man, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 1:12, Reply)

... Subject? What subject?
Well, not sure if Canadians can be 'posh' ( Okay. A little geneaology here. Mom- British. Dad: American. Almost frigheningly so. I currently live- in Canada.) but here's my list anyway.

1. For some strange reason, we get upgrades wherever we go. Possibly because my father is tall, dark haired, wears glasses- most people are under the impression that he's the head of the CIA because he constantly wears a suit and a cell-phone headpiece.

2. Er... my friends across the street (former) were related to the signers of the Declaration of Independance (At least 4 of them, last check.)

3. And finally... my best friend's dad owns an EXTREMELY high up (Prices and clientele... their joke, not mine) bed and breakfast. Several moderately famous people have had affairs there.
(ZooLurker is an angry chick with a mullet!, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 0:19, Reply)

You plebs...
My great grandfather on my mum's side was an Indian prince. I'm a quarter Indian (Asian Indian, for all you numbnuts). And yes, I've even met our relations from over there. It's kind of scary because our family is totally white except for my younger brother who has black hair and really dark skin. People think he's adopted!!!

On my father's side we think that there was a mayor of some town in England way back. Of course, later on in their history some split off to go to Ireland and a few joined the IRA (and subsequently blew themselves up, the fools), while one (another great grandfather) was sent from England to Tasmania for counterfeiting. Of course, we don't talk about the IRA ones. Cadbury/Rowntree chocolates were also started by my ancestors, and the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory film was shot in an old Rowntree factory.

I think it's fair to say that my ancestors did pretty alright.
(satellite blows, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 0:17, Reply)

Fancy,aren't I?
Well,on one side of the family I'm a direct descendant of this bloke here:
www.npg.org.uk/live/search/portrait.asp?LinkID=mp01421&rNo=0&role=sit
(me and thousands of others!)and the nice folks on the other side of the family were some of those responsible for the great state of Virginia.

We have in our family mathematicians,painters,generals,the usual drop of royalty,several noted writers and,of course,me.

Best of all,the death certificate for one of my great-great-uncles lists his cause of death as 'Kicked by a mule'.
Oooo,posh!
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 23:24, Reply)

I did Latin at school.
End of.

Edit: Actually, not end. I've thought of loads more reasons why I'm posh. Hurrah!

1. At my (ill-fated) wedding, one of the younglings of my ex-wife's family asked me if that lady in the pink hat was the queen? (It was my gran)

2. The Queen (my gran) and her hubby (My grandpa) lived in Sith Ifrika for a bit, but came back in a hurry in the 80s cos 'the blicks were gitting thir way' (Words to that effect).

3. I went out with one of Vicky Butler-Henderson (posh burd off telly) 's posh friends for 2 years.

4. I can pronounce words properly.

5. My parents used to own a boat.

6. They also used to have a maid.

7. I have a mate in cornwall who is a Lord.

Now get away from me, you scutters.
( Tone Depear fucking rocks, Thu 15 Sep 2005, 23:18, Reply)