What's the most embarrasing thing you've ever done while drunk?
Put a poop in my pants while trying to pee quicker!
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 14:05, Reply)

Weird expressions
Stuff that you've only ever heard once but will never EVER forget (mostly because the image is burned into your retina):
"As busy as a three-legged cat burying shit"
"As useless as a cock on a legless donkey"

As for class weirdos, I'll never forget David Snowden, who came into school one day, pulled out a knife (posh school, this NEVER happened) and threatened fellow pupil Mulholland with the immortal line "Gimme my Hobbit tape, Mul."

I think it was for the Spectrum, but of all the things to risk your school career over . .
Still, apparently he also fucked dogs.
(foolish_child, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:03, Reply)

Technical terms
What is the most bizzare technical term for everyday things?

Or are there things you know there are words for, but you don't know them? Like what is the technical term for "titty f**king?" There has to be one, they have words for everything else!
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 20:47, Reply)

Those lil things
What is that one, tiny, little thing you regret doing or not doing thats just niggling away at you.
Mine personally is not watching that video of the goth girl swallowing razors on a b3ta newsletter before it was closed down because it freaked the shit outta me.
(Fireinzehole, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 19:49, Reply)

Where's the most unusual place you've masturbated?
And how far did you have to run to the nearest toilet?
(Catfish Ma, why can't I draw? "Because you have fins dear", Thu 7 Apr 2005, 16:21, Reply)

School Weirdos
Growing up in the sticks there were many odd people in my school, the girl that perpetually smelt like wee and who's sister wet herself in a GCSE exam (maybe a connection?), the boy who thought that he was gods gift to girls even though he was short and somewhat overweight and the boy who would play kiss chase with other boys against their will with a crazed serial killer look in his eye.

Who was your school weirdo and what did they do to recieve such an honour?
(MyrtleTheTurtle, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 16:21, Reply)

Whenever I forget to lock my Nokia phone
before I put it in my pocket, the random combination of buttons pressed while it's in there always manages to get it to access the internet and rake up a few quid on my bill. Coincidence or fiendish means of my phone company getting more cash out of me? Not the best example, but What's your most daft conspiracy theory?
(Scoobs, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 9:40, Reply)

oh! oh!
amusing/disturbing nicknames you've been given
(frozen treat, Wed 6 Apr 2005, 23:49, Reply)

Most unfortunate sexual incident you've had
this would include various injuries (check), various discoveries and overhearings by authority figures (check) various fluids being splattered on various parents beds (err...check)
(frozen treat, Wed 6 Apr 2005, 23:48, Reply)

What did you believe when you were a kid?
I don't mean religion specifically, but things like who was God, where did babies come from etc etc.

/desperately tries to think of personal example but fails miserably.....
(Technotrousers is a caffeine-based lifeform, Wed 6 Apr 2005, 13:40, Reply)

Have you ever been mercy fucked?
ie. someone had sex with you because they felt sorry for you.
( pxyzyzygy, Wed 6 Apr 2005, 13:16, Reply)

hmm
What really cruel tricks have you played on people?
(therocker, Wed 6 Apr 2005, 13:05, Reply)

What do you regret chickening out of?
I foolishly stopped a book being published with the best typo ever on the cover "kunt" instead of "kunst".
Every day since I really wish I had left it on, even if there had been lots of trouble, I would always know I was responsible for the Kuntbook. Curse my conscience..
(BadKittyDirtyKitty, Tue 5 Apr 2005, 19:50, Reply)

Have you ever fist-fought a clown?
At a bar,at a little girls birthday party?
Tell us the bloody details
(Demented Hobo, Tue 5 Apr 2005, 17:49, Reply)

here's an idea
though might've been done before

When have you most wanted to kick yourself in the face?

I read of someone who had a mobile phone, and the carrier lost the account so their calling was free, they dropped it in a lake and spent some time searching for it, was unhappy when it was gone.

I was going to invest in silver a while back when it was down to $4/oz, but never got round to it, now it's almost doubled. Fuck.
(dr3wrocks, Tue 5 Apr 2005, 16:39, Reply)

You have been given a super power.
What is it and what will you do first?
( thealternativefact, Tue 5 Apr 2005, 15:41, Reply)

somebody posted a great suggestion in their answer this week...
what is the explanation behind your username?
( eponymous Oh!, Tue 5 Apr 2005, 15:28, Reply)

Where were you when the pope died?
As it says, where were you when you heard the pope had finally popped his clogs...... I was balls deep in my girlfriend for the first time.

Yep we were in the middle of both loosing our virginity when the news flash pops up saying the popes dead. Talk about crap timing..... didnt stop us finishing though..... take that your pope-ness
(The_Mighty_Spleen, Tue 5 Apr 2005, 14:49, Reply)

public transport
I was once on the tube and the overly friendly man opposite struck up a conversation with me about the size of the bag that i was carrying... (please bear in mind YOU DO NOT SPEAK TO ANYONE ON THE TUBE - WE ARE BRITISH!)...as I was saying he was chatting away and I was giving short non-commital answers when he felt the need to tell me he'd been commited. Which was nice.
(Rachel B, Tue 5 Apr 2005, 14:40, Reply)

no so much a question, but a reply to
Dumbwitness regarding his questions.
The book depository was exactly what it says - a warehouse for school text books and the grassy knoll was (is?)a small slope in an area called Dealey plaza. Hope this enables you to sleep a little easier.

This I know because I was standing on it on November 22, 1963, holding a gun.*

*not exactly 100% fact.
( Goldfish_, Tue 5 Apr 2005, 14:16, Reply)

What’s the scariest thing you've overheard on public transport?
Public transport is scary, evil and down right dangerous. You never know who is going to sit near you and more than likely they'll be poor. I only took the bus because the chauffeur was off sick that day.

A scruffy skinny man sitting in the in front seat pulls out a little bag and looks into it. With a very happy glaswegian voice he says.
“That’s a lovely bit of heroin”

Rolling the R in heroin for longer than humanly possible.

Well done Glaswegian people living in London, that what I say.

edit – I mean sitting in the front seat at the top for the bus, not in the drivers seat. I'm sure no one working for London transport main lines a big spike of junk before for driving 1000’s of people around all day.
(waxdart hello., Tue 5 Apr 2005, 11:05, Reply)

Got an annoying mate?
The actual question is:

"Whats the worst thing you have ever done to a mate who is actually a prat, only no one actually likes him and he's never got the hint?"

I once got a lady friend of mine to text my mate the night he went back to Uni in Manchester, knowing he had been trying his luck for weeks. The txt was something simple like 'sry i missed u, we will shag nxt time ure over' but true to form this guy got the txt did a 180 degree turn and flew straight back home, only to walk in on my lady friend shagging a 17 yr old!

Cruel but it was worth it
( Bamboo Steamer, Tue 5 Apr 2005, 0:20, Reply)

"Ever been caught on the job?"
nope
(Angry Pierre likes his Guinness, Mon 4 Apr 2005, 23:22, Reply)

What can I smell?
Thats just it what can I smell
(Smumps, Mon 4 Apr 2005, 22:55, Reply)

"Do you name inanimate objects in your possetion?"
I named my Guitar Juliet, because I love her...
(b0w13, Mon 4 Apr 2005, 20:34, Reply)

“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one”.
George Washington once said. What’s the best excuse you’ve ever come up with?
(Scoobs, Mon 4 Apr 2005, 16:14, Reply)

It's probably been done but...
One sentence to sum up your entire life to date; e.g.

"Same old shit day in, day out, just a little hairier than I was."
(Felixonapedestal, Mon 4 Apr 2005, 15:35, Reply)

Things you don't remember doing
When I was at uni in London, me and my friends from halls had planned a big night (probably to celebrate the fact that it was Wednesday). Unfortunately, I drank two bottles of wine before we even got round to leaving, and went to bed around 9pm, complaining I didn't feel too well.

I came round at about 4am, on a park bench, somewhere. I had a hand stamp from a Soho club's student night, and a tube ticket with a girl's phone number written on it. Interesting.

So, What's the best thing you've ever done of which you have no recollection?

or perhaps a better question;

What odd new states of affairs have you woken up to?

PS: I phoned the girl, and we went out. She was lovely.
PPS: When you believe yourself to be the nerdy alter-ego of some kind of babe-magnet superhero who only appears when you're very drunk makes it pretty hard to kick a drinking habit. I'm off it now. :)
(Cracka, Mon 4 Apr 2005, 13:30, Reply)

Not a topic
Not suggesting a topic, but I think a great idea to make the reading of the QOTW board easier (and to stop the oh-so-numerous complaints), you should be able to reply to the posts like on the regular board. Maybe make them collapsable, again in the interest of making it easier to read responses to the questiong.
(monkey explosion, Mon 4 Apr 2005, 3:57, Reply)