whilst looking around for a bit of work i stumbled across this:
Seeking Erotic Fairy Tales

Far be it from me to suggest that you lot are dirty perverts, but let's get those creative juices flowing!
( new_matt, Tue 5 Jun 2007, 12:03, Reply)

I promise not to turn this into a conversation here....
...but I have a theory that may partially answer PJM's question, which I shall post if this ever makes QOTW (ooh, one of life's great mysteries revealed?), and also, what happens after you piss? Will it spoil the mood? etc, etc, etc....
(RDT <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><, Tue 5 Jun 2007, 7:52, Reply)

PJM
All I can say is, there's no such thing as a *good* time.
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Tue 5 Jun 2007, 6:51, Reply)

Hmmm
Well, we tend to adopt an awkward stance, akin to a snooker player and point down as best we can if that answers your question.

As for ladies, I've always wondered how you pick your times to ask sensitive and emotion-laden questions? They're always asked at the very worst possible moment and tend to result in the writing off of entire evenings.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 4 Jun 2007, 14:33, Reply)

What do you want to know?
I've always really wondered what guys do if they have to piss with an erection. What have you always wondered about the opposite sex, but never had the opportunity or the balls to ask? (Hopefully we'll get some answers, as well)
(RDT <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 7:23, Reply)

The Reason you are going to hell
I have several of my own and mates stories here, so here goes.

A friend on the bus said that if i didn't do something (I forget what) that he would go "Mental, And I mean TOTALLY FUCKING DOWNS SYNDROME" at me.

We often take the piss out of the fat guy in McDonalds. The funniest is when we put our cash right on our side of the counter so he has to struggle to reach it. Hilarity ensues.

A friend met another one of my friends at college. Later he told me that he saw someone in a wheelchair who looked like them and shouted "YOU DON'T NEED A WHEELCHAIR". As you can guess, it wasn't them, instead it was an extremely offended disabled fella.
(Jizzbiscuits-Murphy wroted this on, Sat 2 Jun 2007, 20:40, Reply)

If you think I'm reading through god-knows how many pages of suggestions...
Accidental violence.

I accidentally threw someone from a stage at a foam party, they were found (a period of time) later by their friends at the foot of the stage with a nasty gash on the cheekbone.

I made a hasty retreat and that was my only time of administering accidental harm on a fellow human.

So, fellow b3tans, what have you done that has caused accidental harm on your fellow humans?
(Tibbins, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 10:49, Reply)

In the wrong ears
Conversations you've had or statements you've made that you didn't realise till afterwards would/DID sound hilarious or disturbing to the ears of the innocent bystander.
(StumpsForArms&NoEyebrows, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 8:25, Reply)

My suggestion for the question of the week is
that we actually have a question of the week. Where is it?
(jennymnemonic, Thu 31 May 2007, 16:46, Reply)

How about
the last time something made you happy? Not just the "I had a really satisfying poo this morning" type, but the last time something made the sun seem a bit brighter and the air seem fresher and made you glad to be alive?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 31 May 2007, 15:36, Reply)

Room 101 sounds excellent,
and will discourage people that don't read, or watch BBC2 - there may be intelligent reasoning behind posts. Although...
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 31 May 2007, 15:16, Reply)

What goes on on tour
Stays on tour, until now.

Our band recently visited the radio stations in Leicester Square, and are now proud owners of a Sony Award for UK Station of the Year 2000.

Sorry Classic FM.
( The Lurker Plenty One, Thu 31 May 2007, 13:52, Reply)

How about
British in-jokes which us poor colonials are supposed to give a fuck about? (Re: Room 101)

Mod Edit: what? You've not read 1984?

EDIT: I have, but that's not what they were referring to. Also, in the book, isn't it your worst *fear*, not what you hate most? (Haven't read it since high school.)
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Thu 31 May 2007, 13:42, Reply)

PLEASE
let's do the misheard or the things we hate/room 101. both of those would make me laugh like a loon. which i really need this week or i might have to slash my wrists and you don't want that on your conscience, do you? do you??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 May 2007, 13:35, Reply)

Big Brother
QOTW: why?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(TheGizoid wowling since, Thu 31 May 2007, 11:03, Reply)

Bad Hair
Chav-tastic Essex facelift ponytails, gelled down to within an inch of their life; older chavs with 80s throwback perms in a big halo a la Angie from East Enders (and Brian May lol); the odd colours people dye their hair - that distressing shade of aubern or brassy blonde.
Hair disasters, head, leg or other (!) On you or someone else.
(TheGizoid wowling since, Thu 31 May 2007, 11:02, Reply)

Hmmmm....
Jim Davidson? Gordon Brown spending my taxes on shit? Tony Blair taking about civil liberties? Celebrity Come Dancing On Ice In The Jungle Factor?

I find all of the above equally offensive in their own special way. We NEED that Room 101 QOTW.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 May 2007, 19:45, Reply)

fuck it
QOTW: "Whats the most offensive thing you can think of."
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Wed 30 May 2007, 16:43, Reply)

House buying
I went to see a house a few years back and the proud (!) vendor showing me round his house - the house was beyond description - description of deparvity and vileness that is..

The pinnacle was when he took us in to the cellar where he showed us where he kept his chickens..... Ew ew ew ew...

What's the worst house you've ever been forced to look at??
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 30 May 2007, 15:18, Reply)

Mistaken Identity
What about mistaken identity?

At work i heard an old woman talking about Richard Dawkins God Delusion. She pointed it out to her husband saying "Its that new one by the fella in the wheelchair who talks with a computer". I struggled not to laugh.

And in my case of mistaken identity, i was punched at a friends party by a drunk who thought i was Russell Brand
(Jizzbiscuits-Murphy wroted this on, Wed 30 May 2007, 14:47, Reply)

Im suprised this one hasn't bindun.
"mishearings"
As a child i was constantly keeping my eye out for giraffes around the house and garden, as my mother would often state that there was a 'draft coming through the window'
i'm unsure if i was frightened or intrigued. never found any giraffes mind.
( cupz, Wed 30 May 2007, 6:36, Reply)

mad inventions
The bath taps dont work so i turned a milk carton in to a funnel so you could pour the hot water from the sink taps into the bath. yes its easier to hire a plumber, but it still works 5 years later.
what mad stuff have fellow B3tans made, and so the still work?
( Captain Pilchard The king of B-movies!, Wed 30 May 2007, 1:16, Reply)

That Frank-y Feeling
Why dont we have a QOTW for everyone to say if they've ever thought their life was being written by Frankspencer?
(Igor, The Evil Spacemonkey is behind you!, Tue 29 May 2007, 20:05, Reply)

room 101, followed the week after by chat up lines!!
for the love of all that is holy, these are clearly great topics.

IMAGINE TEH BOARD CARNAGE RANTINGNESS with room 101!!

I have many.

I fear this may also be known as 'James Tiger Woods week' for all eternity.
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Tue 29 May 2007, 19:40, Reply)

The Greatest Chat Up Line You Ever Used
A friend of mine was dressed as Santa and said "Excuse me, can I come down your chimney." She walked off.
(theotter, Tue 29 May 2007, 17:06, Reply)

When you last shat yourself in public.
Picture the scene: in a crowded marketplace in the middle of manchester. Suddenly your bowels contract and you unleash brown hellfire into the back of your pants.

I mean, I was only 1 at the time but it was still funny as i recall...


Tell us your Scat-tastic adventures!
(Snailfighter Mk VIII MASTER of the bits underneath the ledges on fences, Tue 29 May 2007, 16:15, Reply)

When smart people do stupid things
I have a friend who goes to a private university, majors in biochemistry and physics, but couldn't figure out how to turn off my desk lamp or open my refrigerator.

(Not a great story but still a good topic, I think)
( J-Rod chortled as he came, Tue 29 May 2007, 6:39, Reply)

And I got the blame...
What do I win?
(abignumber, Mon 28 May 2007, 22:54, Reply)

Funny terrible things
Really terrible things that make you laugh.

We've all been there: something unbelievably awful has happened and while it was really tragic at the time, afterwards you can't help but laugh. Moments at funerals, bad accidents, incredibly offensive statements: all bad at the time, but afterwards you find yourself laughing a fair bit.

Example: At age nine you may have been unable to walk for a month after having a rather bad accident, which may have happened because you went sledging down a hill as it was the first time it'd ever snowed this much in your life.

This hill may have been at the sea side (as this is where you live) and rather close to some cliffs. The sensibility level of this may not have dawned on you at the time.

When it comes your turn to have a go on the sledge, you might not be able to steer as well as your mates, or turn it into the bracken and jump off like they have, instead flipping the sledge and landing on the coastal path below. Five feet from spiky cliffs and sea related potential death.

Whilst lying there on your back, with a heavy sledge on top of you and your mates standing at the top of the slope aghast, a dog, off the leash of its owners who are ambling a fair way behind it, might run up and pee on you.

They might hurry over afterwards and ask you: "Are you alright?"
(greenycrimson I stole the from pyschotherapist, Sat 26 May 2007, 21:49, Reply)