Mate
who works as a courier had to make a drop the other day to the home of Justin from the Darkness in deepest north-west London. Justin answers in pyjamas and slippers and asks him in.

"I suppose you know who I am," he says.

"'Course I do," says my mate. "I still remember exactly what I was doing when I heard 'Get Your Hands Off My Woman'. Heard it on XFM, went out and told all my mates about you."

Justin is at this point grinning from ear to ear.

"And then you went and made me look like the world's biggest cunt with that fucking first album."

My old flatmate heard Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth having a crap once, too.
(Wong Fei-Hung - now with added flickr.com (see profile), Fri 30 Jun 2006, 18:01, Reply)

Rage Against The Machine (Glastonbury)
One of my top ever gigs.

crowd shoulder to shoulder rain evaporating before hitting the crowd, moshpit visible from space, everywhere densely packed except around us, chucking each other into the air with whoops and hollers from the crowd (spent 2 days wearing a purple silk robe "laying" a big inflatable egg after that)
(spacebwoy Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be with Jesus, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 17:30, Reply)

festivals
Oh I've got loads..

Pete Doh(!)erty - Homelands festival 2005, behaving like a gentleman backstage, walks on stage, and all of a sudden becomes the character we all know - swigging from a vodka bottle, stumbling all over the place.. the set is cut short by the usual *yawn* antics, and he smashes the vodka bottle onstage. Rock and roll. No, not quite, it was water in the bottle. He had a plane to catch, had to be sober or they wouldn't let him on, and would miss the flight if he didn't finish the set early.. even had a car waiting for him..

Shane Macgowen - Phoenix Festival.. couldn't get off his tour bus without help, then stood there unable to move.. waiting for his carer to tell him what to do, eventually they took him to his dressing room for a few hours.. finding himself alone in the dressing room for a few minutes must have panicked him, so decided to have a shit in the corner.. band performed the set, first third without Shane, the last third without Shane.. middle section had Shane onstage "singing".. poor guy was out of it.. drank 3 pints of Martina in about 10mins.. tried to smash up his mic stand, but couldn't lift it up high enough to do any damage. What a state. He even had to leave the stage half way through this for a top up of showbiz sherbet in a specially made area of black backdrops.

Oh, and last year at Reading, after smashing all his brand new equipment up onstage (most bands swop the good instruments for shite ones the last song so they can do this) Mr Doh(!)erty, threw it all into the crowd.. and walked off. Rock 'n' Roll *again*.. only to come back and ask me if I could get the acoustic guitar back. "Nah, sorry mate, you threw it" :)

I'll think of some more. Been doing the festivals for 10 years. Got loads.
(Lemon Fresh Gusset, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 17:27, Reply)

Ok so blagged into
Shameless name dropping alert.

This party, a Gumball connection. Walking into the most amazing house in Hyde park, it was like how Batman like live if he was in london. The stunning cars on a ramp that doubled up as a Lift for them. Walking into the main room, there is Blink 182, Pharrel Williams. And about fifty odd girls in their underwear or at the very least skimpy outfits, doing the rounds is 50 Cent, saying hello to the ladies.

Behind him was a giant cinema screen playing the latest tunes! In this case. The Fast Food Rockers.. Macdonalds Macdonalds Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut.

Hmmm very freaky, spent the evening trying to find the real people and to my surprise Danny Minogue was one of them.
(doktored, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 17:19, Reply)

I threw a tv out a hotel window once
The window was open.

And it was a bedsit not a hotel

And it was an old hi-fi not a tv.

I still felt quite rock and roll doing it.
(bigolslabomeat, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 17:16, Reply)

Moshing with a mate
Went to see Jesus Jones at the Waterfront in Norwich, we were moshing away (with the other 30 people who turned up - it was like a private gig ... awsome!!)
Anyway, his head was coming up, mine was going down ... blood everywhere and I've still got a scar - but we just carried on moshing (after a brief pause filled with expletives!)
( Far Out Slave last ate at, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 17:08, Reply)

SEAL n the early 90's - Record Party in Virginia - USA

My girlfriend at the time worked for CBS Records (now SONY Records) -- anyway - Annual Record release and record label party in a hotel in Northern Virginia. I invited a friend of mine that just returned from school in France. We walk into a large banquet hall, video screens blaring, Crowded House was performing on a small stage and my friend points out a tall, black guy in the corner, all by himself looking confused holding glass of soda water. I have NO idea who SEAL is at the time but my friend informs me that he is big in Europe ...
We walk over, say hello and all SEAL has to say is "Do they put ice in everything over here?" -- Turns out he was a really nice guy, invited us up to his suite with a few other folks - 6 in total - we hung out, had a few drinks and watched his new music video -- I think it was for "Crazy" ... good times - will always remember it...
Never did ask him about those scars though...
(xianstudio, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 17:05, Reply)

touring isn't all that it's cracked up to be...
especially if your manager has no sense of scale.
Once had to do three gigs on the trot. Dubai, Abu Dabi, and ... Manchester. We had to fly straight after the Abu Dabi gig to London, then drive to Manchester. The sound engineer and I took heroic amounts of amphetamines when we arrived in Manchester, and I nearly had a heart attack on stage. Spent the second half of the set with my skin a lovely grey colour.

I've goten rat arsed in Germany with Fish, at the festival free bar. He's a genuinely nice bloke. On the bus back to the hotel, our singer picked a fight with the lead singer from Shawaddywaddy. (who's not a nice bloke).

I was lucky enough to work with Page & Plant in 1998... It was my job to run on stage and give them bottles of water. (Best job I ever had). I met Robert Plant a few years ago, at a services near Kidderminster. And fair dues, he remembered me, when I met him again. (And signed a copy of led zep 4).

But best of all... my lead singer is the guitar tech for Smokie.

Sorry about the length (I bet Robert Plant has never said that).

Ninja edited for repetition
( masakatsu best of all the burger meats, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 17:04, Reply)

Moby Broke My Toilet
A while back I used to interview visiting pop starlets for the local listings mag. I was on a roll too, having managed to have the last go on the soon-to-be-dead guy out of The Shaman (remember them?) only the month before.
This time it was the the turn of Moby, on his first UK tour and riding high in the charts with his monsyllabic rave anthem *Go!*.

The gig was fantastic, repetitive beats slammed out of the dry ice & every so often a tiny bald head appeared from behind a euphoric wall of piano breakdowns to yell the title of his monster hit. In keeping with the intelligent pop star image the little chap was cultivating, his girlfriend sat in the wings throughout, ignoring the show and reading Dostoyevsky.

After his slot our born again vegan hero retired back stage, only to find his tiny dressing room full of the gak-hoovering monster mates of the promoters intent on forcing all kinds of chemical up his self righteously drug free nostrils. It was with these gentlemen he was spending the night. There was no chance of conducting an interview in this environment and little Moby obviously extremely uncomfortable, looking more like a terrified rabbit than a future producer of classy advertising muzak. So back to my place he came, girlfriend in tow, to stay in my spare room.

In morning, he behaved oddly, refusing to touch toast because *there may be something in the bread*... apparently orange juice and muesli were fine. He then disappeared to the loo, after which I was to give him a lift to his train.

He was gone for some time.

Eventually I decided to see if he was OK. Just as I was about to knock on the door, he rushed out, muttering he was ready to go.

In the car he was very quiet.

After dropping him at the station, I returned home & noticed a puddle under the toilet door. A glance inside was all it took!

The floor was soaked! The cistern handle was hanging off, paper strewn over the floor and in the bowl nestled a single, perfect popstar turd.

I washed it away with a bucket of water. The repairs cost me £40.
(auawsha, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 16:56, Reply)

Well, these are just claims to fame...
And in that case....!

I have:
Spent the night with an arse faced indie hasbeen.
Smoked with Ian Brown.
Counselled my friend after a nasty "Pete Doherty's house" experience.
Sat cross legged on the floor asking Ryan Adams questions, much like a disciple basking in the presence of.. well, someone they liked a lot.
Met Rufus Wainwright in a cloak room queue.
Been invited to a Scissor Sisters gig by Jake Shears. Bless him.

On a non-music note I once told Charlie Higson he had good diction, helped Adam from Adam and Joe put out a fire on a table (amazing what spilt alcohol and a knocked over candle will do), danced with a semi naked David Walliams, had an Italian with The League Of Gentlemen (and Horror author Ramsay Campbell), snogged a british film director in my kitchen, and been gotten drunk (to the point of vomitting) by a member of Monty Python.

I love life.
(Kohoutek, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 16:52, Reply)

zebrahead/the matches
i was in sheffield going to see goldfinger and reel big fish and the two above supporting bands...

goldfinger (well their security) were right arses and wouldnt let me near them to ave a chat, so we got talking to the zebraheads who are a bunch of class guys!they kept slaggin off goldfingers aggressive vegetarian tactics and saying how they just wanted a big fat cheeseburger :D

the matches then decided after the gig to play outside with their guitars sans amps and they were funny. One of them had an amazing 'fro so i jumped on him and felt it lovingly.. he loved it =D
(Salbo_baggins, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 16:52, Reply)

"Rock and Roll": spirit of rather than men with guitars
My Dad's friend back in the early 70s. School trip to West Berlin. The class was an all boys catholic school and they were 16.

Height of the cold war.

Back when school trips were better, as in, no one was likely to get sued. The teachers all went down the pub and so naturally did the lads.

Half cut and in downtown Berlin, staggering back to their hotel, they pass the East German Embassy. There is barbed wire and there is guards. Officially, this is a little bit of East Germany in the West, complete with Stasi obs and everything.

They think it would be funny to climb the top of the building when the guards aren't looking and steal their flag. They do. Minor international incident.

Assembly two weeks later in Leeds 9...

the head teacher stands up in front of the school and asks,

"Whoever stole the east german flag from their embassy in Berlin, could you please return it."

ROCK and ROLL!!!!!!!
(sadler, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 16:51, Reply)

Not very rock n roll...
Was at Nottingham Rock City when Rolf Harris played. Got into a fight in the queue for his autograph. Just as I was getting stuck in, my mate turned round and said to my punchee "Do you mind she's pregnant and has to see Rolf quickly before she gives birth" to which the bloke I was wrestling with goes "Oh sorry darling I didn't realise" and pushed his way to the front going "pregnant woman to see Rolf outta the way". Get up to the front, see the Rolfster, give him a quick kiss then disappear off.

Who says eating all the pies has no benefits?
( PagDrag don't think we're in kansas anymore toto..., Fri 30 Jun 2006, 16:50, Reply)

Goth gate crash
Althought this may be slightly off topic but this question reminded me of a story I felt I must share.

I was once out drinking on an all day binge a few years backi n Bradford , not my usual stomping ground but had been to a gig with a couple of Punk friends. After the gig we decided that the night was still young and thought it would be fun to try and gain free entry to a local student venue.

One of my friends thought the fire escape around the back would be an ideal entry route to circumvent the bouncers.
Que 5 people (2 of which punks with 7" mohicans) busting through a door directly onto a stage where a goth outfit where mid performance. Strange thing was they didnt even seem to even care that we where there and after the initial shock of being confronted with a crowd of perplexed goths we casually walked off stage into the crowd and straight to the bar. I had an absolutly blinding night and wasnt even ejected by the bouncers. The strange nights are always the best!
(barronshark, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 16:29, Reply)

Lemmy's sandwiches
Went to see Motorhead in Wolverhampton. After the gig, me and my mates followed the band back to their hotel. And chatted with them in the bar and ate their sandwiches…
Time passes and I'm in a club in Birmingham before another gig. It was supposed to be the Sex Pistols, but I'd arrived 24 hours late.
At the bar, I turn to my right and leaning on the bar is Lemmy. "Hi" I said. "I saw you in Wolverhampton a while back."
"I know," he said. "You're the c**t who ate our sandwiches." So I bought him a large gin and tonic.
(sputnik1, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 16:24, Reply)

i once
asked the guitarist (i dont even care if your going to call me a rubbish fan that i dont know his name) from arch enemy if i could stroke his hair.

he thought i meant his pubes.
naughty metaller.

i was also gona ask the singer if i could lick her face... but i had to go home :(
i'd had a bit too much sugar that night....
(quibble, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 16:16, Reply)

Nicko McBrain - salt of the earth!
Were in Glasgow to see Maiden a couple of years back at the SECC and stoped in at some godawful Wetherspoon's just cause it had cheap pre-gig booze. As we stood at the bar to get the umpteenth round who should turn up but Nicko god-damn McBrain. He just leans at the bar next to us, has a nice little chat, gladly signs our tickets and proceeds to have his own rock-n-roll party - pie and chips and a pint of beer. Absolutely top notch guy.
(pumpkinbug, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 16:11, Reply)

erm.
I rather like 'Mixed up'

but I do own every cure album out there pretty much
( Weetobix, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 16:01, Reply)

Seconded (apeloverage)...
...my god, yes - that was shite from a height indeed. Went off The Cure big-time after that, so obvious a cash whore move as it was.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 15:53, Reply)

Robert Smith once shat on me

by releasing 'Mixed Up'.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 15:50, Reply)

i ignored
noel gallagher once.
( parsley, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 15:44, Reply)

Are the Spice Girls rock and roll? Hmm
Landed a job as the masseur on their last tour - in 2000. Saw Scary's not scary, in fact quite perky and wholesome tits. Massaged Mel C every evening - for an hour, even got a Christmas card from her. Not everyday you get to see a Spice Girl's muff, unless you're me... She was (and probably still is) a lovely woman - down to earth, chilled, a laugh. Never treated Posh - reckon it would have been like playing a xylophone...but was in the manager's office when Beckham was having his hair cut by her stylist...
(Countryslicker, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 15:14, Reply)

I once queued up for 45 minutes
.. to meet John Craven.

Just as I got to the front, the f***er decided he was going home. B*****d.
( rangelife, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 15:04, Reply)

Got to chat with Laurie Anderson backstage after a show...
...totally unexpectedly. Very small group of people -- five of us and herself. (At the time we were involved with Vancouver's only weekly experimental radio program, so we had an easy in.)

The thing is, in preparation for seeing a Laurie Anderson show, nearly all of us had taken LSD. My friends had opted for museum doses, since we'd be dealing with crowds and all that -- but I had decided that I wanted to be well and truly tripping, so I had taken three tabs of blotter.

Laurie Anderson is somewhat oblique in conversation. All of my friends seemed to be on a bit of a time delay, as if they were talking to her via satellite uplink from a colony on Pluto.

Me? No matter how hard I tried, it seemed I could only speak in non-sequiturs. Every time I spoke, Ms. Anderson pointed her chin at me and raised her left eyebrow ever so slightly. I became fascinated by this -- it was so consistent that I was certain it carried semiotic content.

After a while I began to purposefully interject, just to watch her response. It was too consistent. It was clearly automated. Laurie Anderson was an interactive collection of three-dimensional video loops that walked amongst us! Wow. Heavy.

Happily, my friends represented me a little better than I managed myself, describing some of my poor work (with tape collage) in superlative terms. Before we left, Ms. Anderson shook my hand and said that it had been very "interesting" to meet me.

Mmm. Yeah.
(Larry_Mudd, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 14:49, Reply)

I've been trout fishing in Devon with Ray Davies of The Kinks
YEAH BABY! Live fast, Die Middle Aged, Man!


never mind the length, feel the quality.
(BigHorace, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 14:37, Reply)

i have morrissey's personal email address
and several emails from him

he's a nut
(bossypops, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 14:32, Reply)

Skinheads meet Donovan
There was a bunch of teenagers that hung around the main street park area of Santa Cruz, California in the mid '80s. They were all the sons/daughters of serious hippies but they got it into their heads to dress like skinheads just as a way to rebel against their hippie parents and to make a spectacle of themselves (as teenagers do). They did the blue mohawks, boots, braces, the whole look. Some of them looked very intimidating but they were all hippies at heart. Wouldn't hurt a fly.

Seeing as they were hippie kids, they were all excited when none nother than Donovan, king of the pseudo-hippies, was booked to play an intimate aucoustic show for a small audience at the local music venue. The Santa Cruz skins immediately snapped up tickets for pretty much the entire front row and set about re-learning all of their favourite Donavan songs by sitting around the main street park, in their skin head outfits, playing Donavan cassettes and singing along.

Imagine poor Donovan's surprise when he walks out on stage the day of the show to see a couple of dozen skin heads in full regalia staring at him from the front row. He looked nervous, but didn't bolt. He ran through his songlist, taken aback and the gusto at which the skin heads sang along to even the more obscure songs like 'Jennifer Juniper'.

Until you've seen and heard a group of skinheads singing 'Mellow Yellow', you really haven't lived.
(mrfalafel, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 14:31, Reply)

not exactly rock & roll
But had a drink with Frank Turner (ex-Million Dead). Nice guy and fucking talented.

It's not the size, it's what you do with it that counts.
( Rusty Shackleford www.junt.co.uk / @joeyrobbo, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 14:20, Reply)

Calgacus - I see your Joe Strummer, and raise you....
I fitted the carpets in his house. He showed me his guitars and made me not one, but TWO cups of tea.
(Hampton St.Roker (has probably had your mum), Fri 30 Jun 2006, 14:03, Reply)