New sisters
My mum has been married thrice, and each of her husbands or ex-husbands has been pre-married or re-married; hence, I have myriad half brothers, half sisters, ex-step sisters, step sisters etc...

This Christmas I have recieved a christmas card from my Dad's daughters, aged about 15 and 17 I think, they said they'd like to get in touch and sent me a picture of themselves.
I haven't spoken to my Dad in more than 4 years and I haven't seen the girls in a longer time.
I'm really excited but nervous and aprehensive. I don't really know what happened between my father and me. We shall see what 2009 brings for the family Thwack
(Snake (on a) Crane FKA thwack, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 23:52, 2 replies)

Only Child
I have no stories about siblings as an only child. No brothers, no sisters, no one.

I will take this moment to dispel some misconceptions about only children.

1. Not Spoilt. At least not me personally, my dad always says to me that i Could have been spoilt but he worked very hard for me not to be spoilt.
2. Not Socially Akward. I think I was a reasonably well adjusted child, although I did have terrible problems sharing with others.
3. Does not have to be the centre of attention 100% of the time. It is nice though.

Advantages: Less childhood injuries, the ability to amuse yourself.

Disadvantages: I'm now under immense pressure from my mother to produce some grandchildren. She really should have thought of this earlier.
(spent.fish flipping and gasping, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 23:00, 3 replies)

My sister made me mince pies
I have nothing bad to say about her. Munch munch munch.
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 22:47, 3 replies)

I don't know why I listen to my brother
but I do.

As a result of my trust I have permanently damaged my right foot from jumping from a shed roof, I couldn't walk for three days.

I also burned all the hair from my right forearm and most of it from my left after setting a match to a pile of gunpowder stolen from shotgun blanks.

I don't listen to him very much anymore
(Violet kicks arse for the Lord, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 22:08, Reply)

I'm one of 5
with two sisters and two brothers, and we like to prank each other.

There are big pranks, like decorating the outside of each others' houses on significant birthdays, and little ones, like the horrible 2' high ceramic owl I'm going to glue to the outside of my second elder sister's front room windowledge next week, looking in.

I also have a huge plastic 'MALE CHANGING ROOM' sign salted away from when I worked at a gym. Not sure yet how to deploy it, except that it must be placed in close proximity to my eldest sister. I wish she still had her camper van!

My immediate younger brother and I constantly take the mutual piss.
When we both ran knackered vans some years ago, the gearbox bellhousing on mine cracked.

Bro told me that it was in fact called the bell END. He couldn't believe his good luck when he learned that I'd rung up several scrap yards after a Transit Ford engine bell end, yes, a bell end, please, and I couldn't understand why the staff were falling about laughing. Bastard.

Today I gave him and his wife a costly ceramic figure for xmas. They were delighted. I then handed his missus a beautifully-wrapped, bulky parcel, which containd ten pounds of fresh carrots for her pet rabbits. Disappointingly, she found that a lovely, thoughtful gift! Curses.

Eldest sister is a bit of a Hyacinth Bucket - likes to go on holiday and brag about it. When I hear she's going away yet again, I text her house phone with 'Fuck off to Portugal/France/Spain then, you fucking slag!' and there's nothing she can do about it.

It was Eldest Sister, in fact, who was the subject of the V-sign at the funeral. Possibly my finest moment.

Constant sibling mickey-taking - the way forward.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 21:44, 2 replies)

Eye doctor.
When I was younger, and about to go to my first ever opticians appointment, my brother decided to give me some 'advice'.

He told me that if the Optician doesn't like my eyes, he/she has a machine that will suck them out of my head.
.. It was an interesting day, that's for sure.

Edit: I was probably 5 or 6.
( PoshMurder <goat head>, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 21:39, 1 reply)

yay - maybe first page?
I have 5 siblings.
older half brother - schizophrenic - awesome guy, love him to bits.
three older half sisters - fight (with each other, not me) on and off, have been an aunty to their kids since i was born.
younger brother - total arse. Nuff said.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 25 Dec 2008, 21:36, 2 replies)

Only Child
"Oh, you were spoilt then".

EVERY

FUCKIN'

TIME.
(kitescreech still here, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 21:34, 6 replies)

Conned
This year whilst in smug "all my shopping is done" mode got conned into doing my younger brothers xmas shopping for our parents. I have subsequently discovered that My gift from him was atcually purchased by my parents. He has done no shopping this year.

Thanks to that lazy little bastard i had to endure the shopping malls the other day GRRRRRRRRRR.
(welgar, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 20:47, Reply)

My brother
Is dead actually

Next
(The_Reaper, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 20:43, Reply)

Bathtime with sister
My sister and I were both very young, I think 4 and 6.

We shared the bath and my mum left to answer the phone or something.

I not sure who was the culprit but a poo was spotted floating submerged slowly but steadily towards our vunerable naked bodies.

We tried evasive tactics but there is not much escape in a council house bath. The poo followed now with speed caused by our movement.

There was nothing left to do...so I cried and then my sister cried. Tears of anguish for the inevitable doom of the homing poo submarine
( charrudeboy, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 20:26, Reply)

Shameless
Placeholder
( MatJ LOOK, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 20:11, Reply)

I love my sister
In the heat of argument she once told me to "Go take a short walk off a long pier!"

Bless.
( djtrialprice, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 19:54, 2 replies)

I almost feel sorry for my little brother...
He was used as the test dummy for whatever stupid idea me and my older brother had come up with. A few examples...

We had a cardboard box, which we decided was a car. We placed it between two sofas, designated him the mechanic and told him to get underneath and fix it. I got into the box, the bottom fell off and I landed on him.

We decided to try wrestling, as many young boys did. We came up with a move where, essentially, I would hold my little brother over my shoulder, then my older brother would pull him down, ensure a soft landing and try to make it look good. In a slight mistake, I pushed him over my shoulder slightly too soon, and he landed on his head (fortunately on grass).

When I had just learned to swing from the loft hatch, I decided to show him. I used my feet to knock on his door, started swinging, but it got a bit out of control. When he opened the door, I kicked him in the face.

Our mum told me and my older brother to get him out of bed, when he slept on the top bunk of a bunk bed. He was sleeping on top of his duvet at the foot of the bed for some reason, so we gave it a tug. We pulled a bit hard though, and he fell straight off the bed, falling about 5 feet.

And finally, we were playing rugby once, and he refused to give me the ball to start the game. I promptly picked him up by the waist and swung him round... Right into a tree. That one needed stitches.

We were little bastards.
(whyamihere, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 19:18, Reply)

I'm an only child...
Boo hoo...
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 19:11, 2 replies)

A Sibling's Christmas Thoughts
So, for whoever doesn't know, I'm currently in Iraq on a 9 month tour with Her Majesty's finest. We're sharing a camp with the Yanks, and a lovely bunch they are too, what with their high-tech equipment and celebrities visiting them every other fucking weekend and their general inability to learn the basic rules of football and insistance on playing their own little game against us, which frankly, is as reasonable as anal warts on my mother's cock. But I digress.

Stationed with us is ex-Vice Presidenial candidate's son, Track Palin. I don't know him personally, but his superior did make a speech (in Track's stead) in our shared mess hall last week (to the Merkins, mind, but we all listened in), which, I think, was quite a touching gesture of sibling love.

In essence, Track had gone home to be with his mother. Apparently the Palin family is distraught over losing the campaign, as they invested a lot of their personal money into it (though not in direct ways, more buying clothes, from what I figure), either way, he said would they all say a prayer, religious or not, for the Palin family, as they were going through an extremely difficult time. "It takes balls to stand up for what you believe in, and to be subjected to the questions of millions in your bid for candidancy, and then Vice Presidency, was a feat none of should sniff at - regardless of outsome." And that seemed quite nice, to me, quite lovely. He then led the prayer, which if no-one minds, I'll do here too. So, even just sending out good will, please think of Track, the eldest, who's finding it very stressful in Iraq - as are all of us, and of course her daughter, Bristol, who's pregnant, Willow and Piper, her other daughters who are quite depressed by the ordeal, poor kids, and her youngest child, Trig, who is a little down.




I'll be off to hell now, cheers.
Edit: A little down? He has Down's Syndrome? What kind of Christmas is this, when we don't laugh at the young and disabled?
(sorry., Thu 25 Dec 2008, 18:59, 2 replies)

Lately...
Me and my youngest brother have been getting on rather well. I've only twatted him once in the back of the head with the Rock Band drumsticks today.

This is a new record for me.

We tend to avoid each other a lot of the time, namely because I'm at Chester university and he's in 6th form back at my parents place, but also because we do fight like cat and dog when we're in the same house. Normally this is kept in check by lots of Call of Duty deathmatches and Guitar Hero/Rock Band duels, but at the same time, there's also the occasional physical moment, usually involving flying controllers and/or fists.

Merry Christmas all. Sorry for lack of funnies, I'm too full up and feel about 3 stone heavier than normal.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 18:46, 4 replies)

I am the Golden Child.
Everything gets blamed on the poor sister.

Cigarettes, stains, rabbit dying, cat pissing, money gone missing.

It's wonderful what a charming smile can do, eh?

*gleams*

Merry Christmas by the by.

♥
(DeactivateThisDisaster No., Thu 25 Dec 2008, 18:37, Reply)

Don't enjoy that I know this.
My sister has decided that I am the sole person on the planet that she may fart in front of/on.

:(
(DeactivateThisDisaster No., Thu 25 Dec 2008, 18:35, Reply)

Really don't remember this.
I used to poo in books and stick them together.

By the time my sister got to them, she'd struggle to open them, and then shite would fly out.
(DeactivateThisDisaster No., Thu 25 Dec 2008, 18:34, 3 replies)

I don't quite remember this, however..
When I was around about 6, my sister had her friend Lynsey over. Both were 13.

For that reason, I decided they must be punished.

I chased them around the house with a spade twice the size of my body, laughing as only a 6 year old could laugh.

*Almost* got my sister, but she slammed the door just in time. Was ace really, because she got in deep Richard III when the parentals got home and noticed the large gouge mark in the door.

:)
(DeactivateThisDisaster No., Thu 25 Dec 2008, 18:33, 1 reply)

before i was born
aged around 7 my oldest brother told the next one down (4 or 5 at the time) that if you grabbed stinging nettles really hard and fast the sting wouldn't have time to hurt you. i believe my second-eldest brother found to his extreme disappointment (and pain) that siblings lie.

and one from me being a nob:

when i was 6 i dared my then 4-year-old brother to slide off a dome. all the cool kids were doing it. all the cool kids were about ten years older than us though ... i said i'd catch him. off he runs and slides down it (how he even got up there in the first place is a mystery) - i was nowhere near him when he hit the ground and broke his leg. a fracture which remained unidentified (despite his pain) and untreated for 4 days.

lesson: aged 6 or 7, older siblings will be cunts to their younger brethren.
(zenmeban thinks the weather could be better, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 18:27, 1 reply)

I have a sibling
And my sibling has a sibling, who is quite the internet whore and sometimes calls themselves FunOnABun.

Not to be confused with Cillit-Bang or Dribbling.
(FunOnABun Smears lard on you!, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 18:20, Reply)

Alan Carr has a brother
Oh yes, his name is Baldmonkey. But don't mention it to the legendary trollers fece, its clearly a touchy subject.

linky linky

www.flickr.com/photos/xsgerry/2706684709/in/pool-b3tabashes
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 18:14, 5 replies)

Fuck it...I'm here
Got in uber early with this!


Oh and my wee brother got Guitar hero world tour today for the wii...so for now I'm very nice to him so I can play it lots!
(puggs, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 17:31, Reply)

I've got a brother!

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 17:30, Reply)

Errrm ....
That's a fundamentally flawed QOTW ...

I'm sure that bit about "can't stove em to death .." is not true.
(flipper is going to die in a bizarre gardenning accident, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 17:29, Reply)

Clingy sister - shameless cut-and-paste job
A Friday evening. A Friday evening at home, where, once the Friday evening curry goat is dispatched and the children locked safely away under the sofa-bed, I like nothing better than to sit back and talk all the way through Coronation Street.

"You know what you haven't done for a long time," my charming wife asks me, in a veiled attempt to get me out of the room.

"You KNOW I promised Anthea Turner I'd stop sending the letters" I reply, genuinely upset at the insinuation.

"No, not that - you haven't spoken to your sister."

"Yeah. That as well. Pass the phone. I will DO THAT THING."

So, I did that thing, and:

"Hel-lo, Scarysister speaking."

"Oh, Hi. It's me. What are you up to tonight?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing. I've got the house to myself and I'm just wrapping myself up in cling film."

Riiight….

"Riiight…"

"Then I'm going to take pictures and post them on the internet."

I take this news in for a few seconds, giving it the kind of deep thought this sort of hammer-blow deserves.

"You do realise I'm going to blog this. Blog this HARD."

Madness, it seems, runs deep in our family.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 17:26, Reply)

Hehe
1st Xmas post :)
( b3tz, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 17:22, 3 replies)