What about me then?

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 30 Aug 2007, 21:09, Reply)

Hmm
Doubt it.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Thu 30 Aug 2007, 21:08, Reply)

Last post
Am I in with a chance for last post?

I hope so =]
(Mr. Noodlehead, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 21:01, Reply)

Hmmm
Still nothing....
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 20:50, Reply)

No one's posted anything for a while....
...just saying.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Thu 30 Aug 2007, 20:14, Reply)

I was round a mates house
after a night on the class As, trying to get off with a 42 year old who I maintain was very well preserved. Anyway, fell asleep on the couch, woke up down the street, in only my socks, trying to get into my mates neighbours house using my own keys. thank fuck they didn't wake up. had to get mates girlfriend to let me in, she was not best pleased but saw the funny side :)

lengthetc.
( wingphil, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 18:36, Reply)

how bizarre
i had the same dream. well, the bit about me entertaining the english rugby team anyway!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 18:19, Reply)

I think I missed something
But I went to bed a while back, and woke up either north or south, maybe Canada or Australia, pissing in a wastepaper bin, that contained a doona, and Rachaelswipe entertaining the entire English Rugby Team... no, that wasn't it, It was Fulham...

No, I don't even live in Fulham.

Oh, bugger it, I think I'll just go back to sleep.
(Maclir, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 18:17, Reply)

One time..
I sleepwalked into my ice cream van and played the song even though i was out of ice cream, course i didnt notice cos i was busy wanking with headphones on. When i woke up i realised I'd eaten Maddie McCann and blamed it on her dad.
So to answer your question-yes, my parents were awful.
( Paedosmile service with a grin., Thu 30 Aug 2007, 17:57, Reply)

Indian call centre
My best ever one was answering the phone to a very distant sounding crackly call from some Injun phone company, who opened his pitch with 'Hallo, my name is Steve Davis'. I pissed myself - sadly I was awake at the time and it didn't involve a wardrobe, sorry QOTW.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 17:37, Reply)

I'll post this one anyway
I remember once my sister came down early in the morning and drank all the fin-rot solution.
She turned green. The doctor said "Well I can tell you one thing; She won't get fin-rot."
( ClanSoul, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 17:24, Reply)

I really should
read the previous posts before putting anything on in future. I've only just realised now that everybody's pretty much given up & we've been off topic for yonks now...

disasterprone - Happy Buffday
Legless - wish I could make it. But i'm just too damn lazy. Get yourself a cocktail on me called 'BA are ripp-off bastards' (I think there's Vodka in it)
I like Peas - I'm sorry but I don't. I think they're the devil's bogeys.

The end of the QOTW is nigh...brace yourself people
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 30 Aug 2007, 17:14, Reply)

Yesterday an Idian bloke called "John" phoned to take a "survey"
I pretended to vomit down the pone and hung up. True story.
( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 17:03, Reply)

I've got ham,
but I'm not a hamster

Congratulations people, 8 pages of this QOTW are almost completely off-topic.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:54, Reply)

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
(sorry)
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:51, Reply)

Crap joke
Then I'm off home.

Got a message from my mate offering me 8 legs of venison for £50.

I turned him down - said it was too dear.

Boom - tish.

Cheerio.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:46, Reply)

Gents
Who has had something die up their arse? Kindly remove it.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:45, Reply)

Farting
I agree. "Bloody hell - who's farted AGAIN?" would do.

Or is your workplace too polite for that?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:44, Reply)

rswipe
I'd say go for the direct approach

something along the lines of "if whichever of you smelly mo'fo's is responsible doesn't get out or insert a cork I'm going to slap your bitch ass raw"

or words to that effect
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:43, Reply)

I'm putting a lock on my door..
At university I will be moving into a new house with a few friends of mine including Phil who already lives in the house. One night we all went out for someone's birthday and inevitably got a bit drunk. Phil and myself went home early and went to our beds. I then woke up in the middle of the night thinking a pipe had burst in my room as I could hear a gushing of water. I then turn around to find Phil pissing in the cupboard in the corner of the room. I tell him to get out and he shakes himself before saying,
"Shh! Shh! Or the Big Guy will hear!" Then goes to leave the room. Stops and stares at me for a few moments and says, "Goodnight." Then like a zombie trudges out and I can hear him wandering about the house bumping into things. He didn't believe me the next morning but it explains why our other make woke up to a drenched laptop.
(Fiz, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:43, Reply)

someone
(either my boss or my trainee) is doing the most rancid vile eggy farts ever this afternoon.

and they are getting stuck in the air con and recycled over my head, making me gip. i am sick of chewing on them.

any ideas on what i can say/do???
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:42, Reply)

*SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT*
Whilst we're on 'drinking tonight', anyone in Shoreditch? I am DJing tonight at this:
Time out says "If your barnet comes with a fire warning from all the hairspray and you love nothing more than a bit of cock in your rock, make a pit stop here for southern American rock'n'roll, disco funk, trailer trash beats and tight trouser sleaze from DJs on rotation It's 'dirty enough to leave you feeling used...'; we love it."
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:31, Reply)

A Bloke I know....
...Woke up walking down the street one night...clutching my brother's car keys. Strange, but not particularly unusual, you might think.

However, it turns out he had stopped round my brother's shag-pad after a night on the thrash and whilst still fast asleep, got up in the middle of the night, walked out of the house...

GOT IN MY BROTHER'S CAR AND DROVE DOWN THE COCKING ROAD!

After a while, he parked up, got out and started walking.

It was at this point when he woke up.

lummee
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:25, Reply)

PARTY!
I'll be out in Durham, so if you manage to get back stop off on the way Leggy. I'll do my best to stop people throwing themselves in front of subsequent trains. Well, unless they annoy me.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:17, Reply)

We could have a Legless
Memorial Party in October...

And get, as usual,

Legless
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:17, Reply)

bugger
i live about 15 mins from ealing. but i already have plans tonight. otherwise i'd have bought you a farewell pint, old buddy old pal!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:17, Reply)

Well, when do you go to Oz?
ANd it could doubtless be arranged... get a load of other QOTW lurkers involved

Edit: DP - recommended by legless!
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:13, Reply)