I am not superhuman but.....
I have a 9inch tongue and can breathe through my ears , the wife appreciates this tallent but as yet I have not used it to rescue any cats out of trees.
(dirtyotter Touch Me I’m Sick, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 22:02, Reply)

I can pull a wheelie
on a unicycle.
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Mon 22 Nov 2010, 21:58, 2 replies)

A trio of completely useless talents
1. I can remember the lyrics to any song after only hearing it once. Not that impressive but good fun on a road trip when the same annoying song is on the radio four or five times during the drive and you can drive your travelling partners mad with it.

2. I can do all sorts of complex math in my head, whether I want to or not. Can't grasp algebra or trig or any of that useful stuff for building bridges or planes or massive killer robots, but I can put together a set of numbers or analysis in my head in an instant and blurt out the answer. Makes me feel that I'm living a Tyler Durden style crazy double life, except instead of being a depressed office slave with a super cool fighty alter ego I'm a coffee-addicted zombie office clunge with a shouty Rainman style alter ego who surfaces in the presence of math problems.

3. I used to know if the tv was on in my mum & dads house, with no sound on, by the tingle I used to get in the spiney part of my neck. Doesn't seem to work with flatscreens, so another skill lost to modern technology!
(Mmmmminty all the beatles are aliens except for George, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 21:57, 6 replies)

Pepsi
When I lived in New Mexico, I knew a fellow who could taste a Pepsi and tell where it had been bottled. There were very subtle differences in the taste of the water: "This one comes from Portales, and this one comes from Hobbs, and this one is from Farmington." And he was right! These days, I'm sure he must be the Orson Welles of soft drinks, travelling the world, staying at exclusive hotels, hobnobbing with stars, and probably spending a fortune on tooth repair.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 21:25, Reply)

Card-counting
I went through a phase of playing a lot of Patience (or Solitaire for the non-Brits) - to the extent that I got a bit obsessed and learned about twenty different varieties. My favourite was a two-pack version that was a bit like the one that came with Windows XP called Spider Solitaire.

It starts with a 55-card layout, and I played it so often that I could reliably pick 55 cards off the 104-card deck.
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 21:12, 2 replies)

I can hum with my tongue and bend my thumbs in a really horrible way, and I'm a bit ginger, so my special talent is being really like but not actually being The Ginger Fuhrer.
(clumsykisses, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 20:22, Reply)

as a kid
back in the early 80s, I used to play on a pub carpsrk with my mates. Mainly because there was a large grassy bit next to it, some very climb-friendly trees and security floodlights for when the nights started drawing in by August.

Because of this, I could recognise almost every make and model of car on the road by it's front and/or rear light cluster alone.

Then cars started to get a bit similar instead of being distinctively styled like the Hillman Hunter and the Citroen CX and the skill became obsolete. Shame really, but whenever I see a car from pre-1984 or so it always brings a smile to my face being able to point out a Mk 1 Vauxhall Viva from the square rear-light cluster.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 20:21, 2 replies)

Ah! I've just remembered, I do have a proper talent.
I can look at a CRT computer monitor and tell if it's set at 60hz refresh rate. In fact if there's a screen set at 60Hz on my field of view I'd have to change it because it makes me feel a bit oochy.

I'd go so far to say that if an international terrorist hid a dirty bomb inside a computer with it's screen set to 60hz, in a room with a thousand computers set at some other refresh rate, I'd be able to spot it instantly and save the residents and workers of Manhattan Island.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 22 Nov 2010, 19:57, 3 replies)

Who needs talents
when you have a Sicilian lemon muffin?

Incidentally, I have a lemon muffin and it is scrummy

Edit: Joy! It has a smashing lemony bit inside made of lemon curd.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 19:57, 5 replies)

I have a talent for cooking odd things.
As tends to happen, now and then I look into the refrigerator and find that I have an assortment of leftover things that I have no idea what to do with. My talent is to combine them into things that somehow work well together.

For instance: last winter a friend gave me a freezer bag full of odd venison scraps and a couple of small roasts. I cooked the small roasts according to recipes I found online and they were all right but nothing that I would ever really seek out again. So the bag of scraps has been languishing in there ever since.

Last night I got tired of looking at the damn thing and took it out, determined to make a venison stew. I found a recipe online and followed it more or less, and ended up with something that I wasn't sure that I liked as it was a bit gamey and bitter. This irritated me to no end, so I started adding things to it. In went mushrooms, red wine, worcestershire, some chipotle and the end of a jar of spaghetti sauce. Not bad, but not that great either- something was still lacking, and I wasn't sure what.

The other night I had made a batch of puerco pibil. (Go here to find out what that is.) I had some left in a pot and was cleaning up and fished the pork out of the sauce and set it in a container in the freezer, but still had a fair bit of sauce left over. I tasted it and had an inspiration, and dumped it into the venison stew.

I can't describe the result, but I think I'm going to have to get more venison to try to replicate this. If I make the sauce without cooking it with pork it will be a fantastic thing to add to soups in the future!
( Wanderer, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 18:54, 7 replies)

I can see you
through the internet. Put some clothes on and brush your hair!

I can also survive temperatures of -200 degrees C and plu 3000 degrees C, fly, become invisible at will and create anything out of sheer force of will - drugs, supermodels, Honda Accords, the lot. I can travel through time, beat Chuck Norris in an arm wrestle and the sight of one of my pubes is sufficient to ensure any woman comes so hard she turns herself inside out.

My other talent is that I'm completely incapable of telling lies. Especially on the internet.
(rampants, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 18:39, 2 replies)

Annoyance
I can wake up 5 seconds before my alarm goes off. Thus denying myself the pleasure of waking an hour early and discovering that I don't have to get up yet.
(Dr. Scambolic, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 18:02, 1 reply)

Sleeping in vehicles
I can sleep in just about any form of tranpsort, in fact its usually an effort to stay awake dunno what it is but put me in a vehicle and I can sleep like a baby.
Dive boats in monsoon storms, rough ferry crossings in winter, cars or buses bouncing on dirt tracks I can doze even when my heads bouncing off the window. Long plane journeys I'm gone only waking up for the meal, sailboats I can fall asleep during tacks wake up to do my bit and be asleep again even when its heeling over (admittedly sailing often involves gin and spliffs which may help).
Funnily enough I find it really hard to sleep in a normal bed and spend ages trying to drop off.
(Quinch, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 17:16, 5 replies)

Tongue Hooting
I can hoot through my tongue. I roll it up and blow in such a way as to make a hooting noise. I can even make various 'notes', and hoot along to some well known tunes.
I have only met two other people who can do this. My daughter has now managed teh skill, albeit in a very rudimentary form. I would like to go on Britain's Got Talent, but I don't think they would appreciate it.
(leancranker, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 16:59, 4 replies)

Well I'm double jointed.
So my thumbs and fingers can do all kinds of weird stuff - I can make the top joints of my fingers lock in place and bend back... I can touch my left arm with my left thumb and vice versa and my knees and elbows bend a bit the way they shouldn't and some other weird stuff.

Apparently being double jointed is also why my knee joints and other joints sometimes go weird and painfull sometimes. So yeah, my unusual talent is being able to do pretty weird/cool shit with my joints (which gets less of an impressive party trick the older I get) coupled with my joints occasionaly clicking out of place and really fucking hurting for a bit. Not that great but hell, it's the first QOTW I could answer with something decent for a while :)
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 16:37, Reply)

I appear to have developed a peculiar talent
for attracting pushy, jealous and controlling women who in spite of their formidable personalities, appear to be incapable of standing up to their own mothers.
/woeismeblog

At least the sex is better this time round.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 22 Nov 2010, 16:18, Reply)

This is an absolutely true story
I can beat (i.e. knock down and receive no hits from) a British Tae-Kwon Do champion in a street fight*, and have done so.

*Providing both of us are drunk as all fuck, I'm bigger and stronger than him and it gets broken up by bouncers in a matter of seconds.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 15:59, Reply)

I have two talents, the first
appears to be getting dumped, but not in the way you imagine. Every ex instead of saying to my face "saddo, you're dumped", they inevitably end up writing a lovely emotional letter that gets the dumped message across, while at the same time making me feel OK about it.
The second is I've made a lot of female friends that way.
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 15:42, Reply)

I can...
Make ladies spurt. I am inordinately proud of this.
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 14:38, 35 replies)

I
read all the way to here and stayed awake.

Now that's special.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I love horses
more than most people
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 14:05, 2 replies)

Kareoke, late 90's, Welsh field trip
Ever do French exchange as a kid? I never. My family were poor & couldn't afford for me to France. Instead I had to make do with a Welsh exchange trip. Which was shit. As at the time I lived in Wales.

Anyway, one cold Monday we were packed onto the minibus and headed to Abergervenny (I lived in Colwyn Bay) to meet my family, the wonderfully stereotypically Welsh Dafydd Jones.

Geography for you. Colwyn Bay - although Welsh - isn't that Welsh. People think I'm scouse due to my accent, and most of my friends don't sound Welsh. So we had to speak English to these Anglo fearing Abergevenny residents, whereas I'd proceed to learn more of a language which I'm still semi fluent at.

Anyway, one night, the Friday night, was Kareoke night. Or as it's known in Wales: "Nos Carioci". We had to sing in Welsh. The amount of songs I know in Welsh is 3:-

- "Don y Meicrodon"
- "Jambori!"
- The Welsh National Anthem

None of them was on the Kareoke. Instead I spend most of the evening translating with a Welsh dictionary my favourite song at the time - the 1995 one hit wonder "You're Gorgeous" by Babybird.

Surprisingly, syllibilacally (if that's a word), the Welsh translation fits the song perfectly. I was the last song of the night, and with an A4 sheet, I tore the house down.

Well, no fucker cared in reality.

So yeah - I can sing Babybird's "You're Gorgeous". In Welsh.
(rhyswynne - on every social network mullarkey known to man, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 14:04, 7 replies)

I can eat things that would make a billy goat puke.
I can ignore pain too.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 14:03, 3 replies)

I can predict the future...
and I predict that this post won't get enough clicks to make it on to the most popular page.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 13:55, Reply)

My unusual talent
is being able to do everything everyone else in the qotw said they can do but far better.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 13:46, 2 replies)

Freggle Beg
The missiz can sing "Fraggle Rock" in Norwegian. A friend taught it to her at uni
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 13:42, 2 replies)

Faster than Linford's lunchbox
When I was 15, I ran the 100m in a time of 11.29 at a schools championship. I was insanely proud of this, and when I applied for my first job (as a videogames reviewer) I actually had it on my CV under 'achievements'. (what the fuck else have you achieved by 21? Not bloody much, I'd wager).

Quite why I thought this would impress them is a mystery, though I did get the job. These days, at the age of 32, I'm happy if I can jut walk that far without getting out of breath.
(Bappage, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 13:39, 1 reply)

I can make people think I'm doing a big shit...
...when in fact I am having a wank. (just wet some bog-roll and drop into toilet to make a plopping sound.)
(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 12:47, 5 replies)

I can dislocate my shoulders and toes at will
I rarely do it due to the immense pain and crying
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 12:42, Reply)

I'm fast
Sex is a race, and I ALWAYS win.
(Thebigfella, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 12:39, 7 replies)