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This is a question Tantrums

Pooster says: "When we were younger my little brother had a tantrum which ended when he threw a fork and it stuck in my other brother's cheek for a bit." Tell us your tales of screaming kids, and adults acting like children.

(, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 12:48)
Pages: Popular, 4, 3, 2, 1

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You want a fucking tantrum?

Here's a fucking tantrum...

I fucking love this site.....but…..I increasingly fucking hate all the small minded petty trolls (what other kind is there?) that are slowly and insidiously dominating all the pleasant and fun aspects of this site.
Troll….such a feeble term …it infers cute Scandinavian creatures, instead, in real life you are frustrated control freaks hereby referred to as dogshits.
Complete and utter manipulative control freaks, frustrated arseholes seeking fame in a fishbowl.

Fuck off.

Years of lurking, finally joining up, and then posting a few stories....
It's what I truly love…..writing shit on B3TA, some true, some truly exaggerated, the thrill of writing in the public arena for all to see, copping flack, marvelling at other people's astonishing skills. But lately….shit, whatever I write, some dogshit will post some shitty smartarse comment to make me feel like shit.

So, yep, get fucked you dogshits, you win, you sad fucking killjoys….after a while it gets you down. And no, a black comedy site, in my opinion, doesn’t always necessitate sustained abuse, derision and belittlement to derive humour.
I'm sure the usual baying dogshits will accuse me of holding the high moral ground, but yes, I fucking do so, proudly, because I know that the dogshits seek sad fame in "ignores" and "stepping". Oh for fuck's sake, stick it up your arse. (Collective)

You contribute fuck all (ok, some are funny, most are just inane abuse, worthy of scrawl on the walls of public bogs)……Take a good hard fucking look at yourself and think why you take so much delight in deriding just about every post on here.

Whatever, you deadshits, get fucked.

Thanks for the entertainment, and the brief opportunity to entertain.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:15, 132 replies)
I say, Kenneth.
Deep breath and all that, eh?
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:21, closed)
whoa now hang on there, ken.
i thought you and me was cool?
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:26, closed)

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:26, closed)
How rude.

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:30, closed)
I know!
'Deadshits', indeed. There's no need for that kind of language.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:38, closed)
I was more incensed by the implication
that there are aspects of this site that are "pleasant" and "fun".
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:41, closed)
Somebody else who doesn't know what a troll is.
Sad times for the internet.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:33, closed)
I know.
If these self-righteous pricks would actually use the correct metalanguage then maybe I'd engage them with more than just the most basic insults and slurs.

But why bother engaging at a higher level when they don't even understand their own medium?

The tediously stupid pricks.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:48, closed)
Your use of the word 'metalanguage' here is a bit bent.

Just saying, like.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:54, closed)
I am bent.
This is the reason I use benderish words.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:56, closed)
Bent is, as bent does.
That's what my mother always says.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:56, closed)
when she can get a word in edgeways, you loquacious ponce.

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:58, closed)
I can't believe you're being like this!

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:59, closed)
i can't help it monty.
there are trolls bullying me down the page and i'm ever so upset :(
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:03, closed)
Kenneth, on behalf of B3tans the world over
Thank you for your wonderful input to the site over the years. You really have shone bright in your time here, we will all, and I can't stress 'all' enough, miss you ferociously.

And look up the definition of a troll you fuckwit. Negative feedback and disagreements are not, I repeat not, the same as trolling. You tedious antipodean Deacon.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:37, closed)
You're a 'repeat bot'?
I don't understand.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:38, closed)
By which I mean 'you're a sneaky ninja cunt?'

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:40, closed)
predictive text.
'Bot' is my most used word online, especially in Google searches.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:41, closed)
Because you're an arse jouster, obvs

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:05, closed)

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:07, closed)
let's never forget the seminal post where he described his neighbour's wife's bumhole,
alluded to them having a threesome and gloated about it. then he sobered up and claimed it was all a joke. then he deleted it.

oh man, good times. don't go, ken!!
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:40, closed)
you know this just makes you look worse right?

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:38, closed)
So called 'trolling' on here is pretty pathetic really.
There is a distinct lack of effort and finesse in most of the posts.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:40, closed)
unlike yours, right, you dull cunt?

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:43, closed)
Or yours
You tedious spaz
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:52, closed)

Profile for ParaSitius:

a member for 4 years, 5 months and 9 days
has posted 1 messages on the main board
has posted 0 messages on the talk board
has posted 1 messages on the links board
has posted 128 stories and 155 replies on question of the week
They liked 5 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 67 qotw answers.
Ignore this user
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send me a message
Profile Info:


Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Cunning Plans

I have a great plan.
Everyone 'like' this post and get it to the top of the front page for no other reason then for shits and giggles.
(Tue 10th Jul 2012, 11:24, More)

» Unusual talents

I can predict the future...
and I predict that this post won't get enough clicks to make it on to the most popular page.
(Mon 22nd Nov 2010, 13:55, More)
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:55, closed)
There's 'LOL'.
Then there's 'well LOL'

And then there's ParaSitius.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:58, closed)
Blimey, you consider that trolling?
You really do need to get out onto the internet a bit more.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:00, closed)
oh, the ironing....
where did i say i considered that trolling? i just think you're a dull, unfunny prick.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:01, closed)
Ah, I misread your first post.
You will need to explain just exactly where ironing comes in though.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:59, closed)
Jesus fuck
Is that the best you can do ?

You're a worthless drip of stale pre-ejaculate at the best of times, but that's a new low.

Here, have a cookie and go wank yourself into a sugar crazed aneurysm.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:01, closed)
whoa there, dukey, why so upset?
it's just words on the internet! ask parasitius, he alone among us understands how the internet works!
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:02, closed)
What really ?
Dammit, and I thought I was going to be able to change the world.

One angry post at a time...

I hate you all, I can't work under these conditions.

I'll be in my trailer...

(flounce, stamp etc)
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:19, closed)
*in* these conditions.

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:19, closed)
We've sunk so low that "under" seemed more appropriate.

Right now we'd need an 8x15 scope to see the underside of a duck.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:26, closed)
Much like yourelf, I've made no effort to do any trolling
If you think I have then you really need to go out into the World Wide Internet and see how real trolling is done.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:58, closed)
thanks for the advice, parashittyus!!!

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:01, closed)
does this mean we've all been trolled?
I am confused
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:09, closed)
just hold fast, gluey.
parasitius will be along to explain everything in a moment, i'm sure.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:10, closed)
Gets popcorn, waits.
Loads shotgun
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:20, closed)
Mmm, popcorn.
So, am I suppose to post something else here now?
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:00, closed)
i thought you were going to impart the holy knowledge of the real truth about trolling?

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:06, closed)

It'll cost you cold hard cash.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:22, closed)
no dice, sweetcheeks.

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:26, closed)

Curses, foiled again.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:56, closed)

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:38, closed)
I am personally offended by this.
I might just give up, leave the site and kill myself.

I will be sure to mention B3ta in my suicide note, and you in particular.

Internet bullying is a terrible thing.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:50, closed)
My grandmother mentioned B3ta in her suicide note, you insensitive cunt
come to think of it, she mentioned you in particular as well
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:55, closed)
Did she mention her son who has nothing to do with you emvee?
I can't think why he'd be embarrassed by you.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:08, closed)
I know every post is a mountain for you, Rory, so congratulations on typing out another one

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:14, closed)
I'm leaving 4eva

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:17, closed)
No, don't go - your charming wit and erudition are what make this site so special
That and your projected daddy issues, presumably because you couldn't pick yours out from a line-up of sailors
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:18, closed)
line up of tramps

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:21, closed)
poor effort.

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:23, closed)

nah, sailors, there's an action shot in his profile...
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:23, closed)

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:24, closed)
sorry emvee I've never posted about my old man, you seem to be confusing me with your own posts seeking internet validation cos your old man walked out on your horrible family because you're all ugly and stink

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:23, closed)
You could probably narrow it down by eliminating anyone who could prove he was sober at the time of your conception
Following that I'd look for someone with an inherited mental condition or serious narcotic dependency.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:27, closed)
You've spent far too long living on Council Estates where they all beat you up,
did you meet up with your long lost dad on any of them?
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:40, closed)
I've heard heroin babies come out well spacky, maybe your parents were skaggies
Check your mum for track marks next time she changes you
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:43, closed)
i'm glad i ent never been cauuncil like you, it sounds awful
at least you always had optimus prime to turn to
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:50, closed)
Oh wow, another Optimus Prime reference
To the man who has his own Transformers porn site and a b3ta icon of...Optimus Prime. That I drew. With these jibes you are really wounding me, I'm so terribly, terribly embarrassed to be associated with Optimus Prime in any way.

Dude, give up, you fucking suck at this.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:55, closed)
clearly, your only friend is a hasbro toy and your dad walked out on you as a kid
I can't help but feel that these events are connected
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:01, closed)
They would be if either of them were true, but they're not except perhaps in your fantasies
As it is, I'm trying to work out if you're intentionally coming across as being retarded, or if you just are cripplingly stupid. I'm beginning to think that both could be true.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:04, closed)
You're getting on a bit Emvee, middle age is not that far away, it's a bit sad that you pewpewpew daggadaggadagga with your optimus prime in those special 'me' moments
i'm also pretty sure that you like to shoehorn in your estrangement from your old man at most qotw opportunities. Just sayin like.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:09, closed)
Firstly, Optimus Prime isn't my favourite Transformer. He's not even in my top ten.
Secondly, you have have had it wrong about my relationship with my dad from the second you started spouting off about him and haven't even brushed on the truth once, despite your repeated baiting. You're a pisspoor pathetic little amateur who knows nothing of any importance and your continued obsession with me is starting to look very, very gay.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:13, closed)
it's as dull as you dressing as optimus prime and sticking a bottle up your arse as part of your porn monthly special
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:19, closed)
Eh, I've taken everyone off ignore
but seriously, you post about me more than you post about anything else. It's emvee this and emvee that every week. I'm glad that I bring meaning to your shallow existence and you clearly like to think about me in a sexual way (as evidenced by your post above) but this whole internet stalker thing is a bit old hat now, surely? Do you really have nothing better to do than sit wanking at your keyboard thinking that you've somehow annoyed me?
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:23, closed)
You should really back that up with the search facility, 'seriously' it would show that you're wrong. I'm totally stalking you with stuff that you've posted on qotw, I'm fucking depraved and don't know where to stop.
You're the only plank on b3ta to admit to having an optimus prime fetish. That's a gift that'll just keep on giving.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:28, closed)
Fucking hell, I post the address to the site often enough
Are you really so dense as to think that I'd be embarrassed about it? Is this some weird game where I post how cripplingly stupid you are and then you prove me right?
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:34, closed)
Never be embarrassed by your passions, even when it's a paedophile fixation with a shit comic about talking lorries
hit me up with a link, I've gotta see this
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:38, closed)
You wouldn't like it, we only feature women
And there's no scat
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:44, closed)
This is the funniest thread of all time.
By fucking miles.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:20, closed)
I think it's hilarious
It's proof that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:25, closed)
It seems
that Rory has Emvee Envy
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:14, closed)
At you, not with you I'm afraid.

(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 8:39, closed)
Captain Give-A-Fuck isn't in to take your call right now, but if you'd like to leave a message after the tone
I'm sure someone will give a fuck eventually
(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 9:12, closed)
Is 'Captain Give-a-Fuck' another one of those bent 'super heroes' you're so enamoured of?

(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 9:52, closed)

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:22, closed)
*golf claps*

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:53, closed)
I dislike your grammar.
I find it awkward.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:01, closed)
It's more than a little stilted, isn't it?

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:02, closed)
I don't like the excessive use of ellipses,
or the way they've been prolonged, as if he had to think REALLY HARD about what he was going to say next.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:06, closed)
ellipses have three full stops.
He can't even get that right.

And anyway, I hate Australians even more than I hate Jews.

Double fail.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:09, closed)
It's okay, I hate racist and xenophobic morons more than I hate brussels sprouts.
And that's saying something.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:12, closed)
that's well racist.
What did Belgium ever do to you?
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:14, closed)
It's close to where you are.
That's bad enough.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:16, closed)
oh man
More bullying.

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:18, closed)
oh jesus, are you calling him dull AND short now?
you awful bully
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:08, closed)
I would like to point out that "deadshit" as an insult is nonsensical.
Also, since "shit" is not alive by definition, it is tortological to boot.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:11, closed)

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:12, closed)
You are obviously correct.

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:14, closed)

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:16, closed)
This place is so full of trolls :(
Totally flouncing, right here.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:17, closed)
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:18, closed)
God, Kroney's SO STUPID.

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:15, closed)
I personally hate Kroney and all they're associated with.

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:35, closed)
What about shits with threadworms in them?
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:17, closed)
Actually you don't even have to have parasites

Fresh shit will be teeming with life.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:52, closed)

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:26, closed)
Incidentally, it is spelt "flak"
as it comes from an abbreviation of the German "Fliegerabwehrkanone".

I got that off Wikipedia. You'll find Wikipedia to be easily accessible from all local internets.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:14, closed)
I believe that in this instance young Kensington here
is referring to 70s popular music proponent 'Roberta Flack' and how he once had a threesome with her, and his neighbour's wife's bumhole.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:19, closed)
oh man
Totes just got gazzed by Ken Oath.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:24, closed)

fascinating input, right here
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:32, closed)
unintentional irony, right here.

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:42, closed)

No, really, please do share more intriguing insights as to who is, and is not writing to you at any particular moment. It's this kind of detail that makes the day just fly past.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:46, closed)
I completely agree
QOTW was much better back in the times when it was just a bunch of people telling occasionally made-up stories to give us something to read on a skive from work.

Now folk can't be bothered to post for fear of attracting the attention of the small group of screaming, shit-flinging monkeys who are ruining this site.

Seriously, chuck them off. They won't be missed. Looking at the volume of posts, it seems like they don't have much else to do in their lives, so maybe everyone would benefit in the end.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:32, closed)
very true

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:40, closed)
you horrible, horrible bully.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:47, closed)
Shall i call you a whaaaaambulance?

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:29, closed)
Oh no, sorry. It's just monkey shit.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 19:25, closed)

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 19:45, closed)
fuck off.

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 23:06, closed)

Janet, you're generally disliked. Just thought I'd remind you.
(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 0:31, closed)
selcouth, you are generally an over-sensitive bellend.
(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 8:08, closed)

That's helped no end. Thanks so much. I'm in your debt. I didnt really mean it when I said you're generally disliked.
(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 8:45, closed)
It is true though

(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 9:32, closed)
I agree, miss M
The signal to noise ratio has plummeted here in the last couple of months. It's a bit like when your nice friendly local becomes known for serving the under aged and all you get is noisy, high-pitched yapping from the youngsters and dubstep on the jukey.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 19:48, closed)
fuck off.

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 23:07, closed)
She's not going to have sex with you.

(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 0:01, closed)
As far as I'm concerned,
any change which leads to fewer self-indulgent windbags flooding the board with drivel can only be good.

But don't let that stop you thinking your reactionary pleb views are in any way valid.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 21:37, closed)
Yes, let's IP-ban everyone you don't like.
Or, you could put them on ignore?
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 23:11, closed)
I have a feeling b3ta user jennymnemonic has a more permanent solution for the problem of ideological offences.
These over-sensitive right wing types usually do.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 23:55, closed)
Calm down dear,
it's only the internets.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:32, closed)
That's no tantrum, that's more of a flounce

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:17, closed)
Also, use the ignore button, problem solved

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:18, closed)
Go shove ken up your cockend and shit out oath

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:43, closed)
I like how you got about the same amount of responses as unoriginal Rory.
But in sweet fuck all of the same amount of time.

Man, them flies luuurve your shit! ;)
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 18:37, closed)
Nice invocation of the Legless Gambit.

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 18:56, closed)
This is the worst poem, yet.
Shame on you, Ken.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 23:09, closed)

You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don't buy that? Ask Bert Sexface. Remember? Went full retard, went home empty handed...
(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 3:17, closed)
I tried imagining that as a tantrum,
but it was more like a tearful heartfelt plea.

Please try harder.
(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 3:44, closed)

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