Pooster says: "When we were younger my little brother had a tantrum which ended when he threw a fork and it stuck in my other brother's cheek for a bit." Tell us your tales of screaming kids, and adults acting like children.
(, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 12:48)
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Here's a fucking tantrum...
I fucking love this site.....but…..I increasingly fucking hate all the small minded petty trolls (what other kind is there?) that are slowly and insidiously dominating all the pleasant and fun aspects of this site.
Troll….such a feeble term …it infers cute Scandinavian creatures, instead, in real life you are frustrated control freaks hereby referred to as dogshits.
Complete and utter manipulative control freaks, frustrated arseholes seeking fame in a fishbowl.
Fuck off.
Years of lurking, finally joining up, and then posting a few stories....
It's what I truly love…..writing shit on B3TA, some true, some truly exaggerated, the thrill of writing in the public arena for all to see, copping flack, marvelling at other people's astonishing skills. But lately….shit, whatever I write, some dogshit will post some shitty smartarse comment to make me feel like shit.
So, yep, get fucked you dogshits, you win, you sad fucking killjoys….after a while it gets you down. And no, a black comedy site, in my opinion, doesn’t always necessitate sustained abuse, derision and belittlement to derive humour.
I'm sure the usual baying dogshits will accuse me of holding the high moral ground, but yes, I fucking do so, proudly, because I know that the dogshits seek sad fame in "ignores" and "stepping". Oh for fuck's sake, stick it up your arse. (Collective)
You contribute fuck all (ok, some are funny, most are just inane abuse, worthy of scrawl on the walls of public bogs)……Take a good hard fucking look at yourself and think why you take so much delight in deriding just about every post on here.
Whatever, you deadshits, get fucked.
Thanks for the entertainment, and the brief opportunity to entertain.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:15, 132 replies)
'Deadshits', indeed. There's no need for that kind of language.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:38, closed)
that there are aspects of this site that are "pleasant" and "fun".
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:41, closed)
Sad times for the internet.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:33, closed)
If these self-righteous pricks would actually use the correct metalanguage then maybe I'd engage them with more than just the most basic insults and slurs.
But why bother engaging at a higher level when they don't even understand their own medium?
The tediously stupid pricks.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:48, closed)
Just saying, like.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:54, closed)
there are trolls bullying me down the page and i'm ever so upset :(
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:03, closed)
Thank you for your wonderful input to the site over the years. You really have shone bright in your time here, we will all, and I can't stress 'all' enough, miss you ferociously.
And look up the definition of a troll you fuckwit. Negative feedback and disagreements are not, I repeat not, the same as trolling. You tedious antipodean Deacon.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:37, closed)
'Bot' is my most used word online, especially in Google searches.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:41, closed)
alluded to them having a threesome and gloated about it. then he sobered up and claimed it was all a joke. then he deleted it.
oh man, good times. don't go, ken!!
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:40, closed)
There is a distinct lack of effort and finesse in most of the posts.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:40, closed)
Profile for ParaSitius:
a member for 4 years, 5 months and 9 days
has posted 1 messages on the main board
has posted 0 messages on the talk board
has posted 1 messages on the links board
has posted 128 stories and 155 replies on question of the week
They liked 5 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 67 qotw answers.
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Profile Info:
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Best answers to questions:
» Cunning Plans
I have a great plan.
Everyone 'like' this post and get it to the top of the front page for no other reason then for shits and giggles.
(Tue 10th Jul 2012, 11:24, More)
» Unusual talents
I can predict the future...
and I predict that this post won't get enough clicks to make it on to the most popular page.
(Mon 22nd Nov 2010, 13:55, More)
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:55, closed)
Then there's 'well LOL'
And then there's ParaSitius.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:58, closed)
You really do need to get out onto the internet a bit more.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:00, closed)
where did i say i considered that trolling? i just think you're a dull, unfunny prick.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:01, closed)
You will need to explain just exactly where ironing comes in though.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:59, closed)
Is that the best you can do ?
You're a worthless drip of stale pre-ejaculate at the best of times, but that's a new low.
Here, have a cookie and go wank yourself into a sugar crazed aneurysm.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:01, closed)
it's just words on the internet! ask parasitius, he alone among us understands how the internet works!
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:02, closed)
Dammit, and I thought I was going to be able to change the world.
One angry post at a time...
I hate you all, I can't work under these conditions.
I'll be in my trailer...
(flounce, stamp etc)
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:19, closed)
We've sunk so low that "under" seemed more appropriate.
Right now we'd need an 8x15 scope to see the underside of a duck.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:26, closed)
If you think I have then you really need to go out into the World Wide Internet and see how real trolling is done.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:58, closed)
parasitius will be along to explain everything in a moment, i'm sure.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:10, closed)
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:06, closed)
I might just give up, leave the site and kill myself.
I will be sure to mention B3ta in my suicide note, and you in particular.
Internet bullying is a terrible thing.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:50, closed)
come to think of it, she mentioned you in particular as well
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 12:55, closed)
I can't think why he'd be embarrassed by you.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:08, closed)

(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:14, closed)
That and your projected daddy issues, presumably because you couldn't pick yours out from a line-up of sailors
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:18, closed)
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:23, closed)
Following that I'd look for someone with an inherited mental condition or serious narcotic dependency.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:27, closed)
did you meet up with your long lost dad on any of them?
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:40, closed)
Check your mum for track marks next time she changes you
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:43, closed)
at least you always had optimus prime to turn to
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:50, closed)
To the man who has his own Transformers porn site and a b3ta icon of...Optimus Prime. That I drew. With these jibes you are really wounding me, I'm so terribly, terribly embarrassed to be associated with Optimus Prime in any way.
Dude, give up, you fucking suck at this.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:55, closed)
I can't help but feel that these events are connected
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:01, closed)
As it is, I'm trying to work out if you're intentionally coming across as being retarded, or if you just are cripplingly stupid. I'm beginning to think that both could be true.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:04, closed)
i'm also pretty sure that you like to shoehorn in your estrangement from your old man at most qotw opportunities. Just sayin like.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:09, closed)
Secondly, you have have had it wrong about my relationship with my dad from the second you started spouting off about him and haven't even brushed on the truth once, despite your repeated baiting. You're a pisspoor pathetic little amateur who knows nothing of any importance and your continued obsession with me is starting to look very, very gay.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:13, closed)
it's as dull as you dressing as optimus prime and sticking a bottle up your arse as part of your porn monthly special
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:19, closed)
but seriously, you post about me more than you post about anything else. It's emvee this and emvee that every week. I'm glad that I bring meaning to your shallow existence and you clearly like to think about me in a sexual way (as evidenced by your post above) but this whole internet stalker thing is a bit old hat now, surely? Do you really have nothing better to do than sit wanking at your keyboard thinking that you've somehow annoyed me?
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:23, closed)
You're the only plank on b3ta to admit to having an optimus prime fetish. That's a gift that'll just keep on giving.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:28, closed)
Are you really so dense as to think that I'd be embarrassed about it? Is this some weird game where I post how cripplingly stupid you are and then you prove me right?
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:34, closed)
hit me up with a link, I've gotta see this
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:38, closed)
It's proof that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:25, closed)
I'm sure someone will give a fuck eventually
(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 9:12, closed)
(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 9:52, closed)
or the way they've been prolonged, as if he had to think REALLY HARD about what he was going to say next.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:06, closed)
He can't even get that right.
And anyway, I hate Australians even more than I hate Jews.
Double fail.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:09, closed)
And that's saying something.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:12, closed)
you awful bully
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:08, closed)
Also, since "shit" is not alive by definition, it is tortological to boot.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:11, closed)
Totally flouncing, right here.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:17, closed)
COMMENCE NOTIFYING THE INTERNET OF YOUR INTENTION TO LIKE, TOTALLY IGNORE IT NOW!
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:18, closed)
www.lenntech.com/faecal-bacteria.htm
Fresh shit will be teeming with life.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:52, closed)
as it comes from an abbreviation of the German "Fliegerabwehrkanone".
I got that off Wikipedia. You'll find Wikipedia to be easily accessible from all local internets.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:14, closed)
is referring to 70s popular music proponent 'Roberta Flack' and how he once had a threesome with her, and his neighbour's wife's bumhole.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:19, closed)
No, really, please do share more intriguing insights as to who is, and is not writing to you at any particular moment. It's this kind of detail that makes the day just fly past.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:46, closed)
QOTW was much better back in the times when it was just a bunch of people telling occasionally made-up stories to give us something to read on a skive from work.
Now folk can't be bothered to post for fear of attracting the attention of the small group of screaming, shit-flinging monkeys who are ruining this site.
Seriously, chuck them off. They won't be missed. Looking at the volume of posts, it seems like they don't have much else to do in their lives, so maybe everyone would benefit in the end.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:32, closed)
That's helped no end. Thanks so much. I'm in your debt. I didnt really mean it when I said you're generally disliked.
(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 8:45, closed)
The signal to noise ratio has plummeted here in the last couple of months. It's a bit like when your nice friendly local becomes known for serving the under aged and all you get is noisy, high-pitched yapping from the youngsters and dubstep on the jukey.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 19:48, closed)
any change which leads to fewer self-indulgent windbags flooding the board with drivel can only be good.
But don't let that stop you thinking your reactionary pleb views are in any way valid.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 21:37, closed)
Or, you could put them on ignore?
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 23:11, closed)
These over-sensitive right wing types usually do.
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 23:55, closed)
But in sweet fuck all of the same amount of time.
Man, them flies luuurve your shit! ;)
(, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 18:37, closed)
You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don't buy that? Ask Bert Sexface. Remember? Went full retard, went home empty handed...
(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 3:17, closed)
but it was more like a tearful heartfelt plea.
Please try harder.
(, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 3:44, closed)
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