this is tenuous but he is a man and i would very much like to stick something in him... like a sword
last night at approximately 12 o clock i am punched to the face by one girl, forced to the floor by another by my hair and kicked in the face ... and luckily nothing else happens because some passers by intervene.

i wobble the ten minutes home and ring up my soon to be ex-boyfriend in tears.

i have interrupted his night out with friends. his response to my peril "are you using this to see me?"

oh yes, i am definitely using being attacked as a reason to see you. it couldnt be the fact that i am alone in my room, the bulb has gone and that the right side of my face has puffed up.

so my faith in humanity was destroyed by two walking wastes of sperm and someone that i thought could be trusted.

so, ideas? objects to stick into him?

another way i link this story is that someone's foot was stuck to my face but i am not a man.
(ladyintheradiator, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 13:02, 30 replies)

Refuse to meet him ever again.
Any time he phones you say nothing apart from "Are you using this to see me?"
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 13:08, closed)

^this is perfect
While yes, causing large amounts of physical, phycological and/or monetary harm to him would be pleasing in the short term, it would also drag you down to his level.

This solution gives you the higher ground to stand on and look down on him.

Also, now that you're single... a/s/l?
( Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:38, closed)

Either discuss your feelings respectfully but assertively,
or scratch his car.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 13:17, closed)

Or better still
Both.
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 16:09, closed)

I'm not one for physical violence
However, iron filings sprinkled on his car bonnet spelling out words of your choice would work a treat. Something like "nonce" perhaps.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 20 Jun 2010, 13:24, closed)

Offer him kinky sex as an 'apology'
tie him up, blind fold him, and sodomise him with a large strap on... unless you think he might like that, in which case, don't.
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 14:26, closed)

7
I was going to suggest this course of action but using the very special strap on from the film Se7en, yes the one with big knives on the end of it. What an absolute arse head your ex truely is!
(The kneeling rifleman Is slowly getting there.., Mon 21 Jun 2010, 9:38, closed)

Better still,
Tie him up, blindfold him, ensure no phones or keys or anything are too close, then get dressed and leave.
(epinephrine, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 14:30, closed)

Get some male friends
To leave his home and mobile numbers accompanied by descriptions of what he'd like large sweaty truck drivers to do to his tight little cornhole on the insides of a cubicle or two at a motorway services gentlemans convenience.
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 15:31, closed)

Why do I have the horrible feeling you were turning yourself on as you wrote this?
There's a definite creepy 'internet wierdo' vibe here. I think this post may be the epicentre
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 2:07, closed)

Do a shit on his doorstep...
....and take pictures.
(Frample Tromwibbler climbs an obstacle like old people fuck, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 16:34, closed)

so that we're on theme
let's discuss sharp objects to 'stick' to him
(ladyintheradiator, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 16:51, closed)

so
how come the girls attacked you? I mean, not that people like that need a reason. I'm just curious.

And your boyfriend sounds like a weapons-grade arsehole. He is not worthy either of your company nor your tears. Best to beat a dignified retreat and never speak to him again.
(jennymnemonic, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 17:27, closed)

i feel a bit stupid about this
they shoved into me as they walked past and i muttered something like 'fuck off' under my breath except when you're drunk you have a really poor idea of how loud / quiet you are speaking
(ladyintheradiator, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 17:53, closed)

If you had been drinking
and if the soon to be ex had been drinking. Then forget about it. Your soon to be ex didn't cause you to be hit.

Call it off if you like but I suggest you think hard about it and have a very good reason and not just an illogical drink addled resentment.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 18:04, closed)

go to his house
and bring syringes filled with milk with you. while he is taking a slash inject the milk into his mattress and couch . then say farewell
(goorf, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 19:32, closed)

Doesn't seem to me that's why she's leaving him, more the him being a twat about coming to comfort her afterwards.
(epinephrine, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 14:31, closed)

if a guy came on here saying
they wanted ideas to get back at a soon to be ex-girlfriend, I'd be thinking they're some sort of fucking worm.

What's your feelings on equality for the sexes?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 20 Jun 2010, 20:57, closed)

Dude, seriously?!
I'm fairly confident this isn't a case of sexism. I think the story here shows a fucking asshole regardless of whether there is a dick present or not.

True, guys wanting to get back at girls would probably elicit a different response to this, but that isn't the point here. The ex should have manned up and made sure ladyintheradiator was ok at the very least: if strangers in the street can stop and intervene for someone they don't even know, why can't he even bother?
(satanstolemyteddybear Mu hõljuk on angerjaid täis, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 21:48, closed)

I think it is you who should MTFU
give it ten or twenty years and maybe you'll realise that there is more to life than some comic book hero and fair maiden fairytale.

Much much more. And some of it is not of this world.

ladyintheradiator - I hope by now you've realised what to do. If not feel free to gaz.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 23:11, closed)

hmmm
sounds to me like you've low self-esteem if you seriously think that the OP's boyfriend's behaviour was acceptable, or par for the course of a 'non-fairytale' relationship.
If someone who nominally cared for me treated me like that, it would be over in a shot, whether they were drunk or not.
(jennymnemonic, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:08, closed)

Maybe
But someone has to keep the ideal alive. I'm not saying it isn't perhaps naive and the situation is, I'm sure, more complicated, but if a friend or someone I was supposed to be dating called me up and said they had been attacked I'd be there regardless of the situation. If that makes me some 'comic book hero' then feel free to call me Batman. I don't think my attitude in this will change...
(satanstolemyteddybear Mu hõljuk on angerjaid täis, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 21:46, closed)

So that makes it okay to key his car?
Or carry out any of the other 'helpful' suggestions above? Sure, he was being a twat, but no more than that. I hope the original poster is smart enough to ignore the sociopaths above, and big enough to dump him and move on.
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 2:04, closed)

Probably sexist but...
I remain good friends with most of my exes, and if one of them phoned me saying she'd been attacked, I'd go see them to make sure everything's ok (and no, not to get a shag) - that's how I am...
( snee held his breath since, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:02, closed)

Sorry about the face.
People looking for a fight can be bastards.
(satanstolemyteddybear Mu hõljuk on angerjaid täis, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 21:49, closed)

Hit him where it really hurts
with causing any physical damage or doing anything illegal.

It once gave me great satisfaction to sneak into a cheating soon-to-be exes house and delete all of his PS2 memory cards/saved games.

Then use the Shaggy defence.
(posthumous mince is tiptoeing through the tulips, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 0:23, closed)

How about rising above the need for petty vengeance?
Dump him, and get on with your life. Meet someone new, who'll be better for you. Basically, be the bigger person. You'll feel much better about yourself if you do, rather than resorting to some of the frankly ridiculous suggestions from the keyboard warriors above.
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 2:00, closed)

The simple fact of the matter is...
If your partner rings you up whilst you're on a night out with your friends, saying he/she's been attacked, you should do your utmost to come to their aide, regardless of whether you're with the lads/girls. If your friends give you stick for this, they are wankers too. If you do not believe this to be the case, it's probably why you're single. It has fuck all to do with equality, it's just plain good grace
(Dr Fishfinger Want's to see a fat man give a tit wank, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 12:38, closed)

Sure, but do we know the full story?
We've only heard one person's side of it - for all we know, she's pulled a stunt like this before, looking for attention. I mean, "Are you using this to see me?" doesn't sound like the kind of thing you'd just come out with out of the blue. Suggests there's more to this than meets the eye. I am playing devil's advocate here a bit, but the responses to this have been pretty pathetic. It is the internet, though - don't know why I expected any different...
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 14:57, closed)

I could see
saying it if I'd already determined that they weren't in immediate peril as a way to lighten the mood with a patently ridiculous statement. I'd come over of course, unless a LONG way off in which case I'd get someone else they're comfortable with to keep them company for the immediate future.

It all depends on context, how it was said, previous and subsequent actions. There's not enough here to judge. But... kill a relationship over a single comment? Ladyintheradiator can make that call as she sees fit, but everybody else who has made that determination based only on the initial short post... hope you're as perfect in your dealings with your own significant other at all times as you expect LITR's guy to be when he's having a good time with his friends and gets this kind of totally unexpected call.
(Ejaculantern was caught desecrating pumpkins on, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 1:43, closed)