Scare Freddie Starr by pretending you were once a teenage girl.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 18:36, Reply)

shit your bed

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 18:11, Reply)

Modern toilets use between 5 and 9 litres per flush.
By pissing in the sink, we could collectively save in excess of 300,000,000 litres of water a day in the UK alone!
( Muns, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 14:06, 4 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Scare hamsters by pretending to be Freddie Starr
*also works on underage girls
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:55, Reply)

Scare cabbage by pretending to be a hamster.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:25, Reply)

Thrill your significant other this Valentines Day!
By spending large amounts of money on expensive flowers, meals and presents.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 0:05, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

Become one of the mega rich,
by building a hugely successful global telecommunications empire.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 7:00, 5 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Make Tigers think they are normal sized cats by throwing giant balls of string at them

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 16:02, Reply)

Make magpies think they're rooks by colouring in the white bits on their wings with a black marker pen.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 15:51, Reply)

Pretend you're having astronaut food for tea
by emptying the dry contents of a pot noodle into some really stale bread and then wrapping it in foil.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:22, Reply)

Stop bread from drying out
By eating more sandwiches
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:19, Reply)

Stop bread from drying out
by taking it to a rainforest with 100% humidity.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 13:18, Reply)

Confuse hedgehogs...
...by sneaking into their houses and moving all of their furniture around while they hibernate.
(NoStrings Tastes like zombies!!, Sun 2 Feb 2014, 9:53, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

There are two rules in life:
1. Never tell anyone everything you know.
(showman, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 5:13, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Help your dog reach those difficult-to-get at branches
by filling him with helium.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 17:11, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Make people think that you are James Bond...
...by getting them to look at you through a toilet roll tube.
(NoStrings Tastes like zombies!!, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:51, 3 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

De-militarise the whole kids' breakfast theme with the boiled eggs
by renaming the traditional toast slice 'soldiers' as 'Toast Community Support Officer'. Then act surprised when they go limp at the first sight of a smashed egg with its insides all running out.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 28 Jan 2014, 0:10, Reply)

Stop bread from going dry -
by keeping it in a bucket of water.
(Chimpface, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 20:39, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

Commemorate the outbreak of WWI
by assassinating a royal.
(roysin, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 1:16, Reply)

Need a quick and easy party game to entertain unexpected guests?
Hide a dirty pair of underpants in with your clean underpants and challenge people to find them with their hands tied behind their backs.
As a prize you could slap everyone except the winner.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Sat 25 Jan 2014, 16:37, Reply)

A smear of Nutella.....
inside a clean pair of pants makes the nurse think you've had them on for days
(Anti Oxen lurks because he has no 'shopping skills., Fri 24 Jan 2014, 21:11, Reply)

Fart on a parrot!

(NoStrings Tastes like zombies!!, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 22:25, Reply)

Stop Wayne Rooney from trying to sleep with your girlfriend
by putting your granny out as a decoy.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 16 Jan 2014, 19:02, 6 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Vegetarians. Fed up of paying for overpriced Quorn and Sham products?
Other vegetarians make an ideal plant-fed beef substitute.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 16 Jan 2014, 13:56, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

Save time posting on message boards
By not finishing y
(Inflatable Giraffe Punctureless since 1985, Wed 15 Jan 2014, 20:45, 5 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

You're not a hipster,
you're just living on the cutting edge of the pop-cult zeitgeist.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 21:26, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Liven up a corpse
by re-enacting scenes from "Weekend at Bernies"
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 16:12, Reply)

Liven up your social life
by giving everyone you know cocaine.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 14:05, Reply)

Liven up trips to the swimming pool
By sneaking in a bottle of purple food dye, and emptying it under an unsuspecting group of swimmers.
(Eukanuba, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 13:43, 1 reply, 11 years ago)