not mine, Aidan Davidson's good luck
Aidan Davidson is Colchester United Football Club's 1st choice goalkeeper and whilst playing against Luton Town in the Championship on 11/9/06 the lucky, lucky cunt managed to save TWENTY FOUR on target shots in the space of 20 minutes open play. TWENTY FUCKING FOUR -THATS 1.2 a MINUTE

If ONLY Id had access to a sniper rifle
( bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 9:55, Reply)

Live 8
Me and my sister have had various pieces of luck in our lives (just a couple of days ago I found out I had won a make over) but my sister had the best. She got an e-mail telling her she had won tickets to Live 8 which she thought was a hoax and that they wouldn't be any good so said that I could take anyone I like. The person I asked couldn't go so I had no one to go with. Forward a couple of days and the tickets come in the post, they are golden circle tickets right at the front so she decided to go and we had the time of our lives in Hyde Park!
(fshingcat lurker- Don't mind me, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 9:44, Reply)

no real story...
... my lass's family are pretty minted... whoop whoop!
( likeajackhammer, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 9:44, Reply)

I'm generally pretty lucky....
...and yet am always cursing people for their good luck.

When working during my year out, my mum came in one day to tell me that Lloyds bank had been on the phone to say I'd won first prize in some competition and won £2500. I was taken aback by this as I had no recollection of entering any competitions. Turns out that I had probably filled in some form whilst still in 6th form and won top prize out of everyone in the country (everyone who entered obviously). I believe it was something to do with the Push Which University guide or something....

Also, I was once sat out back of the surf on my board, when a fiver floated along past me.

Latest: thought I'd lost my passport, so had to make an urgent appointment with the bastards in the Newport office (2 hours drive away), and pay £77.50 for the pleasure of getting a new one within a week, not to mention the fuel to get there and having to use up some valuable holiday.

Then I found my passport. There was much rejoicing.

I apologise for nothing!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 9:30, Reply)

Facials
I enter competitions online and forget that I've entered. Recently I found a lipgloss in the mailbox. It was from one of those "Tell us in 25 words why you love having goop on your face" type competitions, and I'm buggered (well, bukkaked) if I know what I wrote. Still - free makeup!
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 9:21, Reply)

Salesmen's party
A couple of years back, my friend was working for a large direct-marketing company in London, full of full of themselves salesmen, lots of testosterone, trying to convince grannies that they wanted to buy things like a complete series of One Foot in the Grave (one video a week for the rest of your life and you end up paying about £2000...), crappy magazines and the like. Anyway, for their Christmas party they had hired out one of the big squares in Mayfair (Hanover Square, I think it was) where the delights included a hog roast, karaoke and the promise of free booze all night.

We got invited along and had a great time drinking our livers out, laughing at the Michael Jackson impersonator, singing and stuffing our faces with pig meat until two things happened which brought an abrupt end to the fun. The first was that the barman told us there was no more booze. The second was that a bunch of guys not connected with the company were trying to gatecrash the events. Since the male:female ratio at the party was something like 10:1 and there was no more alcohol to be had, this seemed like a rather dim idea, but nonetheless they were persistent and a load of the sales guys rushed to the entrance to defend the party. A massive brawl ensued, the police were called and some people got hospitalised, all the usual fun of a drunken night out.

However, a little further back from all the action I spotted, stashed away under a table, 5 crates of lager and about 20 bottles of wine. Now this was either put there by the organisers so that they and the bar staff could have a drink after everyone had gone home, or by someone who had planned to hide it and steal it later.

So as the square filled up with blue flashing lights and the fight at the gates threatened to become a full-blown riot, myself and my companions picked up as much booze as we could carry (which was all of it), sauntered out past the streams of police rushing to break up the chaos, and straight into a taxi home.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 9:18, Reply)

Not me, the b/f
entered the Evening Standard competition to win an IPod by giving the lowest unique bid.

Result being getting a full spec IPod for £13.51
( Joliet, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 9:11, Reply)

Evrytime i turn on the televsion, i think -
'i like this show, lucky me'
( Scrambled Edd www.eddsworld.co.uk, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 9:08, Reply)

see the luck I've had would make a good man, bad...
As some may know I jacked my job last week, could no longer stand the boss, twunt etc. Anyhoo I went in on Montag to hand in the company laptop, car, phone etc and our biggest client was in the office, a quick chat, he agrees the boss is a numpty, took me out for a "wet lunch" ended up pissed as fools and has now given me a new job, more money and longer holidays, HAPPY DAYZ!! On top of that I've just won a brand new 307cc in a raffle I don't remember entering and my girlfriend has just found out she's not I say again NOT pregnant!! all together the jamiest week scince the time I had sex with the marmalade jar!!
P.S. Crown prince of... you're spot on I advise everyone to check travelodge etc for porn more often than not your luck will be in.
(the tartful splodger, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 8:53, Reply)

School boy dream comes true
Not recently but many, many years ago, I entered the 'spot the ball' competition on the back of a 'United' chocolate biscuit pack to win a years supply of said biscuits! - My tiny mind doing somersaults just imagining having a dumper truck full of Uniteds tipped on our drive.

Being a mere 7 years old I completely forgot about it until one morning whilst getting into my school uniform, mum shouts to tell me there's a parcel for me.

Well it turns out that a years supply of (not just) Uniteds but Blue-Ribands, Trios and Taxis can fit into quite a small parcel being a sum total of around 60 six packs. Not quite the humungulous dumper truck I'd imagined, but enough to keep me in McVities (I think) snacks at dinner for a full school year.
(cherry B, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 8:39, Reply)

A gap year in NewZealand.
While getting stoned in my friends cold house at 3am watching the ladder adverts on tv. We wake up at 3.30am to the house being broken into. without warning we are starring into the faces of two men dressed head to toe in black with balaclavas. one has a knife, the other holds a golf club. needless to say we shat ourselves and were rather baffled (due to miss mary-jane).. this is when they jump on us and start dry humping us. we realised it was two friends of my friend back from abroad without notice. we spent the night getting boozed at one of the guys half a million dollar apartments in the poshest area of new zealands capital. then he said 'move in'.
it was his parents house, the family were still abroad. rent free, a cinema room, heated floors and the sea on the other side of the road. still the strangest night of my life.
(Gargh, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 8:35, Reply)

Mondex
Back in '95, I signed up to a shitty electronic money scheme, run by mondex, whee you charged a small device with money, and then could use it to pay for small things like the local paper, without having to carry cash around.

Anyway, they were running a compo for anyone signing up, first prize being a brand new playstation (only been out a month).

Anyway, I entered, quickly forgot, only to be reminded when a young bloke rang me up to ask me to collect said prize.

*glees*
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 8:33, Reply)

I went into the attic
And found an original copy of the bible.....

....which was nice
(rhyswynne - on every social network mullarkey known to man, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 7:55, Reply)

Harrumph
I'm bald, fat and speccy-four-eyed. You lucky shits.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 7:53, Reply)

Heroin=Concert for Blind People
I was working in Toronto Canada when Keith Richards was busted at the airport for (insert name of any illegal substance here, think it was H) The court ordered him to do a concert for the blind, go figure, and from my corner office on the morning tickets went on sale, I watched the long, un-moving line at a ticket outlet inside a nearby shopping mall. AS my buddy & I went to rubberneck the situation from the outside it was announced that there were no more tickets to be sold, other than the people immediately in front of the ticket counter. In the ensuing near riot the fans inside tried to rush the counter and the police had to rush and form a cordon in front of them My bud & I simply stepped over the containing rope, joined the customers being served, and bought 6 tickets (the max). Back at work we scalped 4 tickets for a small fortune and went ourselves to the concert. It was held in a small civic auditorium & rumors were it would be Richards & Peter Tosh backing him. Amongst a pack of blind people we easily pushed our way to stage-side and were thrilled when the whole band appeared as the stage lights went up. The Stones played a full concert & debued "Some Girls" What a class act. Kudos forever......
(fuckstockings will never go to trial, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 7:01, Reply)

Mid July
I was having a rough time of it at work, also in the process of applying for my green card and having medical tests done, as well as panicking about being denied.

Wednesday night - hubby and I win $1700 on the lottery.
Thursday morning - phone call from 24 Hour Fitness to say I won 3 months gym membership (after putting my business card in a jar!)
Friday morning - get California drivers license.
Saturday morning - hubby surprises me with tickets to the theater

That was a good week!

(green card interview in 3 weeks, keep your fingers crossed)
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 6:15, Reply)

Best night ever...
Working late, someone passing my desk said "Anyone want to go see the Foo Fighters? I've got two free tickets". So I grabbed them, requisitioned two cab chits because it was a "work-related activity" and called a mate who said "drinks are on me!" Picked him up and drove to the venue, a notoriously crowded place. As we walked to the door, the bouncers decided to open a second entrance so we completely missed the long queue, walked to the packed bar just as a (small) fight started and everyone cleared away, once again missing the long queue, then walked straight past the bouncers guarding the VIP area by waving arms full of beer cans and shouting "it's in my pocket". As we arrived, a couple started arguing and got up from their utterly stage-side table so we sat down, the band started to play about two uninterupted metres in front of us. End of the gig, walked out, once again hundreds of people standing at the cab rank so we head to a side street, turn the corner just as a taxi stops to let some woman out at her home. Jumped straight in (the cab, not the woman) the guy actually spoke English and knew the way to my house. The girlfriend had just returned home from a night out with the girls and was as horny as all get out so straight to bed for fun. In retrospect I probably should have died in my sleep that night.
( difficultchild, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 3:23, Reply)

dot commando
Blagged a job with an old mate at the height of the dotcom boom just after his company had been estimated at having millions of dollars worth of contracts (of course it didn't was all on paper). Got him to sign my contract while he was drunk out of his mind and with God knows how much coke up his nose. About a year later when the general manager called me in to ask what it was I actually did aside from potter about the office making fun of people, he pulled my file out and started reading. It was at this point he realised I was getting paid more than him and went mental. Much hilarity ensued and I eventually left to go to the back up job I'd had in place for six months. Got paid out to go too!
( difficultchild, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 3:15, Reply)

Once I was completely skint with £3
And decided to crash a mate's BBQ uninvited. During the course of the night I managed to somehow get through a 6-pack, most of a tenners worth of weed (after essentially one spliff), 2 cigars, about 10 cigarettes, a ****load of BBQ food, and a 'pornstar' T-shirt (mine got soaked in beer and I was walking around topless for a while. Mate said I could just keep it). Later that night eventually i'm left alone with another mate's gf (who is quite hot, but not whilst they were together). We're just lying on the bed chilling out and she gets up and sticks Mariah Carey - 'we belong together' on. I'm just like "crap, crap, crap.." as she's been doing stuff like grabbing my arse. I managed to stop myself doing anything (mainly by just making joke after joke)until another friend came up looking for me. Then in keeping in the spirit of the night I went back out into the garden where I immediately pulled (and there were only like 5 girls at the BBQ). Really was a freakish night (by my standards).

Woke up the next morning and I still had £1 in my pocket (+ the stuff i hadn't used yet like the weed/cigar). Pretty good return for £2 spending, and I think qualifies as good fortune given I wasn't even meant to be there.
(Habacock, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 2:34, Reply)

Once
when i was still a wee paper boy i did my usual trick of sleeping in on the saturday morning, normally this resulted in a phone call, but not this week. I avoided the shop i worked at til the next morning and made up some excuse, they still paid me for a full weekends' work, and despite the paedo who runs the shop telling me i'd have to work the following weekend on credit i still got paid every week until i quit.
Also two of the christmasses i worked there i got two sets of christmas tips, one year because i was doing two rounds, the other because i'd changed rounds at the start of december so they felt i'd earned the tips from the round i'd done all year, and the little shit who'd fucked off a month before christmas could suck aforementiond paedo's cock before he got any more money off them
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 2:00, Reply)

blessed by the employment fairy
Was working for a web design studio in Sheffield run by tight-arsed feckwits, who were paying me 14k a year and refused me a payrise at my appraisal. I was already interviewing all over the place to try and find something (anything!) else, when they dropped the bombshell and sacked me, the cheeky scamps.

Couple of days later I get the call from a recruiter asking how much money I'd be looking for in a new job. I thought I'd try and blag it: "Um, 18k?".

There was a moment's silence on the line, and I gloomily waited for them to tell me to hop it. But no...

"Well the salary range for the job I'm calling about starts at £25k. Would that be okay?"

It's not every day you get a 78.5% payrise for moving to a job with less hours, paid overtime, free laptop, free mobile...
(baz, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 1:27, Reply)

Honesty Being One Policy Amongst Others...
A fine summer's day, and my Croatian friend insisted we visit the "Henley Boating Fair", as he so quaintly termed it. Off we jollied, stopping at a few hostelries en route. By the time we got to Henley, we were pretty mortal and shouting slavonic curses at all and sundry. A few pubs down the line and a few more hoorays insulted...we ended up in some form of hotel bar full of decent chaps with more than a passing resemblance to the Major in Fawlty Towers. Croatian friend was in heaven, discussing military techniques with the passion and knowledge that only stems from having participated in a recent civil war...the Major types were a very appreciative audience.
I slipped out to powder my nose. Bingo! Wallet on the floor of the cubicle. Wallet stuffed full of pink grannies (£50s to you BACS people). Slipped it in my back pocket and made ready to prise the Croat away from his military meanderings...opened the cubicle door to find a very drunk, very old Major type looking quite concerned. "I...I don't suppose you've seen a wallet anywhere, old chap?" he slurred.
What to do? I handed the wallet back, and the old duffer's eyes lit up. "Damn good chap! Damn good chap! Come on, let's have a drink!". Spent the next 5 hours alternating between brandy and champagne, putting this dreadful world to rights and cursing the youth of today. Come midnight, myself, the Croat and the old fella were utterly wrecked and in tears of laughter/sadness. Booked a room each, crashed out and staggered down for breakfast the next morning...the old fella had checked out, having paid our entire room and bar bill. He'd also left an envelope containing £100 with instructions to eat a decent luncheon. A true gentleman.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 1:26, Reply)

Lotto Luck can be shortlived ...
Apologies if this turns out to be an Urban Myth from our office as I didn't see it first hand ...

When I started with Auntie I was invited to join the Departmental Lottery Syndicate. I was then related a tale of how sometimes numbers CAN come up. Our colleagues in Studios ALSO ran a syndicate for all the Camera Ops and Floor Crew in the Lottery studio.

Apparently they were somewhat peeved when all six of their numbers came up in a draw.

It was during a rehearsal not the real one!!!
(Dionysian Aut viam inveniam aut faciam, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 1:15, Reply)

sixpence is sixpence
the day after i passed my driving test was also my school's leavers do, i didn't fancy paying £20+ for a crap meal and being forced to wear a monkey suit, especially since i wouldn't be allowed to take the girl i wanted to keep me company as she was a mere year 12. instead i chose not to go to the main do, but to celebrate my new found legal wheels and drive to the pub over the road from the school where the afterparty was taking place. as i had just passed my test i wasn't going to tempt fate and drink, so stuck to the cokes. later that evening i felt something on the bottom of my shoe, and assuming it was a rizla or toilet paper tried to scrape it off to no avail, looked down and discovered a lovely £20 note stuck to my trainer, my (slightly drunken) friends advised me to keep this so i listened to them

a year or so earlier in the same pub a load of us (incl some teachers) were having drinks after the last night of the school's production of Hamlet. the bar weren't prepared for a mass onslaught, and had just cashed up when we arrived, so were refusing to serve people unless;
a) they had the right money
or
b) they had a large enough round that a tenner would cover it (me) i asked everyone in sight if they wanted a drink (this being a members club it was fairly cheap so a tenner went a long way) and people kept giving me money for their drinks. i got the round in, tried to give people change (i'm honest like that) but no-one would take it. as far as i can remember i ended that night with more money than i took in :)

apologies for length/girth
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 1:06, Reply)

Camcorder delight
Bought a new house in January 2005 and decided to bust two rooms into one(my mate uses this term to describe back door sex) feel free to use if necessary. Anyway,shitloads of dust all over the place to clean up,when I lifted the gas meter up and swept under it a moneybag with £240 in new and old tenners flipped out.Fucking result!!!!Thoughts of contacting previous owner disapeared in a millisecond .Two days later a new purchase of a camcorder and thoughts of amateur housewives in disgusting poses abound:-p .........Anyone interested?my wife told me fuck off......p.s there is a law in the U.K called theft by finding and there was me thinking, finders keepers,tough shite more like it.
(andycrass loves two hats on, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 1:04, Reply)

Found £20
Out in a club just this weekend, and when I went to the gents, found that some bloke had dropped £20 on the floor.

In itself, this isn't a big deal, but considering that so far this same week, I've:

- Been dumped, the day after returning home from an extortionately priced 2 week romantic getaway to celebrate 3 years together (she was staying with me for the holiday, apparently). This is the girl I was relying on to buy the shopping for the rest of the month, since I went up to, and far beyond, my overdraft limit paying for the holiday, and the cashpoint refuses to give me any more money, which means I now have scrapings from the freezer to live on for 3 weeks.

- Gotten in the first fight I've _ever_ been in on a night out.

- Found out my new ex is actually shagging my best mate

- Had the guy who was supposed to be relieving me from a 12-hour night shift get involved in a crash on the way in, meaning I was two hours late getting home, and as such missed my lift home. And it was fucking pissing down by the time I left. And it was lovely the night before, so I didn't bring a coat. And I walk home.

- Had a random girl nick my drink, and her three mates threaten to kick the shit out of me when I had the audacity to give her a filthy look.

Given the rest of my week, I think you can agree that finding a bit of money is pretty unexpected.
(bblgoose, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 0:01, Reply)

I am shit at pool, so when I'd had a few Britvics last Saturday, a game with £10 on the line seemed a good chance that I would win.
Therefore, me potting the black off 4 cushions was really pushing my luck.
(David Fishwick Minibus Sales - notmad.co.uk, Thu 14 Sep 2006, 23:40, Reply)

One christmas when I was a mere pre-teen

I opened all my presents to find that my bigger brothers girlfriend had bought me a rubber cock, handcuffs, a police womans outfit, and finally, a gimp outfit. My brother got a pirate boat lego set, the complete series of Bananaman and some Brut aftershave.

The pile of pressies should've been clearly labelled, and to this day I stand by that statement.
(Lt Columbo, Thu 14 Sep 2006, 23:26, Reply)

This might sound a bit gay
in november last year (and before my sixth winter season) I went into woolworths to buy the new family guy dvd (Stewis Griffin - the untold story) and as I got to the counter to pay the lady asked me if i´s like to buy some chocolates for my mum at a special price of 3 pounds
I only had 2 pounds left after buying the DVD as I had 15 quid on me, so i decided to have a bit of fun and buy one of those 2 pound (with ha few chances) scratchcards instead and vowed to buy mumma that treat if I won
I scratched and found I´d won 5 quid! The lady scanned the bar code
"I´m afraid you haven´t won 5 pounds sir"

must have read it wrong, my heart sank

"you´ve won 55 - you didn´t scratch off the other part"

WAHEY!

Mum got the chocs, and I bought a new jacket on sale!!
( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Thu 14 Sep 2006, 23:21, Reply)

Business Trip Away? Check Your Hotel Wardrobes
My sister graduated from Cambridge when I was 17, and the folks decided we all needed to attend...much to my annoyance. This meant staying overnight in a Halls of Residence room. So we all arrived, had dinner that night and retired for the night.

Then, for some reason I'll never understand, I searched the room, looking through all the draws and oddly, on top of the wardrobe. Where I found a copy of Razzle.

Result!

17 year old boy, alone, in a hotel room, with a piece of serendipitous grot.

I was sore the next day, believe me.



And now, 11 years later, a married corporate goon, whenever business takes me away for a night to some soulless Travelodge/Jury's Inn/Holiday Inn/Whatever, I still always check the room for filth, just in case. Because - believe me - if you ever chance upon a porno mag and have the opportunity to abuse yourself to it, the feeling of wonder never leaves you.
(TheCrownPrinceOfZanzibar, Thu 14 Sep 2006, 23:10, Reply)