I once convinced a friend
that if she drank too much 'organic' milk in one go, her 'friendly' bacteria would call a general strike.

Also, someone told me that stereotypically camp gay men really are gay, and apparently they're not just camping it up for female attention.
Who did they think I was - Jerry McGullible?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 12:51, Reply)

Stories told by parents are always the best
When I was little, I had this absolutely gorgeous border collie called Emma who I loved so much. We went on holiday one year and whilst on holiday my wonderful Mum and Dad told me that they had a phone call from the lady who was looking after Emma saying she had died, she was old, so I belived it. Two years ago I found out that she didn't die, my Mum had got sick of cleaning up all the hair she shed so gave her away.
This is nothing compared to my Cousin though, her parents told her their dog went to 'a special doggy hospital' even I knew that that meant it was dead, but bless her, she told everyone that story until she was 15 and then her Mum and Dad told her the truth!
And theres the time my Mum told me my favourite teddy had gone to 'teddy heaven' but I knew she'd thrown it away cos it was manky.
(purplefairy, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 12:48, Reply)

Xyphious
I HATE YOU
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 12:43, Reply)

WTF?
Me and Stusut79 the same person?

Cool!

I wish somebody had told me though.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 12:43, Reply)

Ribs..
I heard the same thing, but about Marilyn Manson...Of course I believed it considering his...ahem, reputation. I still wonder whether tis true or not
(LegOfLamb, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 12:40, Reply)

Armageddon!
As people who spend a lot of time on the internet, I'm guessing most of you will remember this little gem that did the rounds a year or two ago.

It's the rather touching story of two gay guys & a hamster.

One of these guys had a thing for inserting the hamster into a certain body cavity. Should this ever become too much for him, his partner would remove the unfortunate creature when the safe word, "armageddon", was used.

One day, the safeword was used, but the partner was unable to extract the hamster. Thinking on his feet, he decided to try & coax the little guy out using a lit match, hoping his furry friend would move towards the light.

Unfortunately, the match ignited some of the gas that this particular part of the human anatomy tends to build up, resulting in the hamster being propelled from it's hiding place at great speed, breaking the nose of the guy with the match.

The man in whom the hamster had been residing at the time apparently sustained first degree burns to his colon & rectum.

Paramedics called to the scene are apparently responsible for the spread of this story.

*Insert length joke here*
( Sylia Stingray is pilfering the biscuits on, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 12:39, Reply)

Idiot Me
Was I the only one that didn't know that StuSut79 was actually Legless using a different username? I feel like quite the tard for not realising this earlier.

Come on, someone else must have fallen for it too. Please?
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Fri 6 Jan 2006, 12:32, Reply)

I was told that...
...the bespectacled dorky friend of Fred Savage in "The Wonder Years" went on to become shock-rocker Marilyn Manson.
( smello, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 12:31, Reply)

In school once, years ago
Sitting around in the classroom at registration before the teacher came in, everyone was chattering as usual. My friend decided to pull a bit of a trick on us, and declared, "Do you know that if you say orange really slowly, it sounds like the word gullible?" Thing is she'd said this in one of those silences you sometimes get when for some reason everyone stops talking at the same time, so everyone had heard her. Suddenly the whole class erupts in a chorus of

"Oooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnngggggggeeeeeeeee"

which was absolutely fantastic as it was. What made it even better was that just as everyone started saying it the teacher walked in, to a classroom of teenagers who for some reason seemed to be greeting her with the word orange said as slowly as possible.

She was rather confused.
(therocker, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 12:25, Reply)

Don't go in the Lift...
Many moons ago I worked for Iceland (The frozen food shop, not the country).

The "true story" explained why the staff were, ABSOLUTELY NOT TO, UNDER PAINS OF INSTANT DISMISSAL, to ride in the goods lift.

The legend went that one day, a young stock lad was loading the lift full of frozen food to send to the basement freezer.
As he was about to send the lift on its way, he then bent forward and his biro fell out of his pocket.
Reaching in to grab it, he slipped in to the lift as someone in the basement called the lift down.

Now for the life of me I can't think WHY there were no doors on the lifts as I'm fairly sure it would have been UK law from years ago to have them.

Presumably, the bloke was paralysed by fear and didn’t move at all. Although recollection recalls that he didn’t want to get caught in the lift so tried to jump out

The lift then SLOWLY chopped through his torso leaving his upper body on the top....and his legs making a break for freedom in the lift.

Apparently, he took about 5 minutes to bleed to death (making it sound more like bollocks than ever) and finally pegged it in the stock room with blood everywhere.

I've met other Iceland employees in the 15 years + since I worked there and they ALL know this story as total truth.

It was told to every new employee, by the old hands as gospel, but I never actually saw real proof of the incident.

Anyone care to confirm the validity this Urban Legend?

First time.. blah.blah.blah.
(maceie, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 12:23, Reply)

Peter Andre
Just reminded me of this one...

Back in the days, when we did indeed worship Mr Jordan, there was a rumour that his chest implants had exploded, were leaking toxic substances, and that he was going to die of chest cancer.

Oh how we cried.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 12:11, Reply)

The game
I just started playing, i was told it was an urban legend that retards post as their sigs. it would have been fine if no one took it seriously.

To cap things off i just found out the other days that Mrs Xyph plays so now i keep loosing every bastard day.

Oh and your playing now too (just google or wiki it, i aint explaining it!) and you've just lost



Have a nice day
(Xyphious : Sinkin' Gin since '85, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 12:01, Reply)

'Plastic' Peter
back when i was at school there was a rumour that Peter Andres chest was fake and that he had a plastic model of someone elses chest in him to make him look like he worked out.i believed this, despite the fact that it is probably physically impossible, until i was about, oh 16.... i am so very ashamed

I also believed the 2unlimited died in a car crash rumour until about 2months ago when i realised people laughed everytime I talked about it and i googled it...

Gullible doesnt really cover it...
(You Love It, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 11:53, Reply)

Rik Mayall part 2
Finbarr reminds me of a reverse Urban Legend. I had a friend who was something of teller of tall tales and he told me that he could get me Rik Mayall's autograph as he was working at his girlfriend's mum's cinema. The next day he turned up with the autograph, I politely thanked him but didn't bother keeping it as I thought, as usual, that he had invented the story. About three years later I saw a Comic Strip filmed at my mate's, girlfriend's mum's cinema ... bugger
(I'M JACK MEADOWS, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 11:45, Reply)

Removing ribs
Joe Scaramanga -

I heard the same thing about Michael Jackson. Certainly wouldn't put it past him.
( Sylia Stingray is pilfering the biscuits on, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 11:40, Reply)

MAX
This man will become an urban legend

www.tuckermax.com


(sorry for wasting your day but you WILL read all his stories!)




dont forget to click i like this because you dont just like it, you love it!

blah blah blah length girth cock etc :-\
(Xyphious : Sinkin' Gin since '85, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 11:29, Reply)

2-Unlimited
Back in the mists of time (well the 90's anyway) I overheard a conversation in Glasgow HMV between 2 shop assistants that the 'bird' from 2-unlimited had been killed in a tourbus accident. I believed this for about a decade. And argued the case whenever they were mentioned. Twunt.
(w1rral, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 11:18, Reply)

Gentle Dan the Moorland Savage
On her death bed, my mother told me of the legend of Gentle Dan the Moorland Savage. She told me that his love and respect for his fellow man, coupled with his tireless work for charity and concern for animals, children and the homeless was matched only by his overwhelming desire to kill and maim at random. I have never had the mixture of fortune and misfortune to meet him.
(stusut79, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 11:12, Reply)

Did anyone else fall for the one that
Richard O'Brian of the Crystal Maze died in a motorbike accident about 7 years ago?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 11:09, Reply)

i heard, only last night,
that a guy here in ireland had invented a completely environmentally friendly, free source of energy that could meet the whole worlds energy needs, but that he's being paid billions a year by oil companies not to develop it...

it seemed plausable, but then i thought: 'he's irish?'
(e p f, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 11:03, Reply)

Gullible

Me: say gullible fast and it sounds like banana

them: gullible, hey no it dosent

me: try saying it faster, in a scottish accent
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 10:48, Reply)

That's POSH, that is.
I used to believe the one about POSH meaning 'Port Out, Starboard Home' but only because a friggin' teacher told us that's what it was. These days I visit Snopes once a week.

Pxyzyzygy, I believed the one about Bananas getting you high as well.

Also, some of you morans need to look up the meaning of 'Urban legend'.
( Biggus Dickus , it was like that when I found it, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 10:48, Reply)

Strawberry Milkshake
Imagine our suprise when someone in the office told us that they fed cows huge quantities of fresh strawberries in order to make the perfect strawberry milkshake.

She'd read in on the internet.

So it must be true...
( Linbox has a serious dunk habit, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 10:48, Reply)

Rik Mayall
My Dad convinced me when I was young that Rik Mayall is actually John Mayall (as in the Blues Breakers) brother.

Queue quite a heated arguement with a jazz fan only last year where I swore to do some quite bad things if I wasn't right, followed by some Googling and some serious humble pie.

My Dad still thinks he's right - where do parents dream these things up? (He also didn't think he had to put suncream on on holiday if the sun went in, and spoke with much scorn to me when I tried to tell him otherwise...)
(finbarr, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 10:48, Reply)

that
if you look at this website

stareat.it.helsinki.fi/view/index.shtml?videos=one

you can see yourself in the tv monitor on the top right of the picture

spooky or what?
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 10:36, Reply)

Mars bars
Mars recently tried to capitalise on the growing "left-handed market" by producing left-handed Mars bars. They're exactly the same as the normal ones, but the wrapper is printed upside-down. And the flap on the back is folded the other way. 100% fact.
(spastic_lequeer, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 10:35, Reply)

I fell for the
'smoke the stringy bits out of bananas and get dead stoned' story when I was a kid. It didn't work.
( pxyzyzygy, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 10:34, Reply)

Houston We Have A Problem
When in a pub a friend of mine arrived late saying he'd been watching Apollo 13 but it was too long and he was too desperate for a pint. Therefore he stopped watching just as they were attempting re-entry. He wanted to know what happened in the end so naturally I told him that they all died. I wasn't being cruel, I just didn't want to spoil the ending, honest! Of course he didn't bother watching the end and discovered his mistake several months later when lecturing someone about it. Apparently he went rather red when it was pointed out that the film was based on a book by one of the surviving astronauts.

This man is a practicing doctor and may well one day operate on you! Be afraid!
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Fri 6 Jan 2006, 10:29, Reply)

Fairy Queen vs County Council
I have convinced my 5 year old daughter that when the tooth fairy swaps a tooth for money. the tooth does not go to making the fairy queens castle. What really happens is the fairy sells the teeth to the local county council, the white teeth are then crunched up and used to make the white lines on the road, any bad teeth are crunched up to make the yellow lines on the road... what am i talking about this IS what happens...
(BadgerPirate, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 10:26, Reply)